The Gift of Misfortune - Re-Vamped
by KNeu21
Summary: Also a direct off-shoot of my 'Re-Vamped' series! I HIGHLY SUGGEST READING THAT FIRST! Re-Vamped version! After waking up as a nine-year-old again to find the entire rest of her life had been a dream, Leandra struggles to find answers where there aren't any. None that make sense, anyway. She learns to trust all over again, and learns that the future can change. RATED M! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**Alrighty. Here goes the beginning notes, okay? Pretty much the same as last time. This one's a lot the same, but I have added and fixed parts of this story I thought needed fixing, because this was written in a time where I obviously have no idea where my thoughts were. **  
><strong>One: This is going to start off DIRECTLY where 'Hunting for the Day - Re-Vamped' left off. (again)<strong>  
><strong>Two: The first two chapters are almost EXACTLY the same as the beginning chapters of 'Beneath the Twilight - Re-Vamped' because I'm creative like that.<strong>  
><strong>BUT!<strong>  
><strong>Pay attention, because there is a change here or there.<strong>  
><strong>And finally, THREE: This is going to be a LOT longer than 'Beneath the Twilight - Re-Vamped'. And from what I can tell, quite a bit longer than the original version of this story, purely because of the places that needed fixing and added to.<strong>  
><strong>And that's about it. So... On to the wonderful, but necessary:<strong>  
><strong>DIsCLAIMER!<strong>  
><strong>I own NOTHING! I don't own Twilight, or ANYTHING affiliated with it! I only own Leandra, except sometimes, she runs away with my imagination, and refuses to let the damn story end where I wanted to leave it. Okay? Is that good? Or..<strong>  
><strong>Yeah, whatever. It's good enough.<strong>  
><strong>ONWARD!<strong>

**Chapter One**

Shaking off the dream I had the night before, I stood there for a moment, clinging to the door frame of my bedroom. Carefully choosing my breaths, waiting for the intense pain to become tolerable. Both physically and emotionally.

It had been hard, so unbelievably hard to tell myself that none of that had been real. The crushing, debilitating disappointment squeezed my heart, making it difficult to breathe. Coughing a sob, I listened to the sound of it return to me. I looked around me desperately, searching for some possible way this could be fake.

That's all it was. That's all it had been. A dream.

I'd had a family. I'd had a life. I'd had something worth living for.

I'd had dreams of them before. Of the kindness they showed me, but even as it faded even faster, I had to admit that it had been more vivid, more real than the others I'd had in the past. Regardless, it had been a dream. Otherwise, I wouldn't still be here.

Who were they? These people I dreamed about? Probably nobody worth thinking about. People I made up.

There were bits that I'd forgotten right away. Most of it, most of the major details had faded. Gone the moment I opened my eyes, but some stuck. The color gold. I didn't know anything about what that had to do with anything, but it was something that stuck out.

I remembered how it felt to be supported, to be cared about. All the events, every single one, and every lesson I'd learned faded slower, but faded nonetheless. Leaving behind a kind of sickening pain that wasn't very easily recovered from.

I struggled now to hold onto the feeling of being safe. That was one of the main emotions that stuck out to me. I needed that, but I had to struggle to hold onto it.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't often I had nice dreams like that. My mind obviously cracking, turning against me in rebellion of what Jack put me through. Showing me what life could be like, but tearing it away from me the second I opened my eyes. It wasn't fair!

Jack. My mother's husband, my stepfather. My burden. The one that holds the leash, the key to the cage. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get away from it. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was afraid to. I knew for a fact that I could end it all with just one little confession to my teacher at school. I could make it stop, but I couldn't. Not knowing what he was capable of.

I lived in a world of torture, guilt and shame. Torture at his hands, guilty over my own reluctance to tell anyone, and shame because I wasn't strong enough to get passed that fear. Day in and day out. I hid everything from everyone like I was the guilty one. Like I was the one to blame. I didn't want anyone knowing what kind of a person I was.

The resonating pain I felt at losing everything, even more thoroughly by the second, made it hard to breathe. The familiar emotional tightening in my throat was hard, very difficult to fight through. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.

This dream, this painful little movie while I slept wasn't real. Whatever it had been, wasn't real. None of it. Those people didn't know who I was any more than I knew who they were. I had no clue even what they looked like, or even if they existed. No names, nothing specific. Just the emotions, the feeling I felt with them, which told me it was dream I really didn't want to wake up from.

With a deep, shaky and sobbing breath, I forced myself forward. Clinging to the one thing I could still recall clearly, the color gold, I kept moving. Losing all the apparent strength I'd found in that dream, I forced myself to face the facts. I was unlovable. Unwanted. Worthless. I was alone. I always would be.

At that thought, a sob tore free. I'd been doing so well up until that point, but that thought nearly crumbled me. My heart broke, sending waves of emotional pain through me.

I didn't remember anymore what I'd lost by waking up, but I wanted it back.

Coughing another sob, I limped from my bedroom, attempting to ignore my mother's quiet snores behind me on the couch in the living room as I made my way into the bathroom for a quick shower. I've felt this way before.

I couldn't stop living because of a dream. I had to continue living for myself. I should have been grateful to wake up at all, but I couldn't help hating the fact just a little. Quite a bit, actually. I had to keep moving, though.

New and old bruises covered every inch of me that could be covered, even a few places I had to be creative at hiding. Meeting my own lifeless clear green eyes in the mirror, I slowly eased my hand up, and moved my mid-back-length dark auburn hair from in front of my face. Shoulder to toe screaming in pain, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

This was a daily ritual for me. This wasn't new.

Proving to myself by taking a deep breath as I held my reflection's gaze that I was still alive. Just breathing proved it. Just breathing made it true. I was still alive. Just like all the times before, I didn't know how I felt about that.

I dared not hope that anyone would care enough to look passed my blatant lies, but some part of me refused to give up. It was a constant fight with myself. One with no progress. Hoping someone would look close enough, but fully determined to shove away anyone who looked. I didn't want them to see. I didn't want them to know.

I would survive these years. Despite how I often never wanted to, I would. If I hadn't died yet, I doubted much of anything would kill me.

I showered quickly, hating the way the ice cold water caused even more pain than before.

The harsh spray of the icy water made it difficult to take a breath as it poured over my welts. It was more of a rinse than a shower, letting the previous day run into the drain with the water. As I could only bear the pain for five minutes. If that. Clenching my teeth around the sharp cry of agony that attempted to claw its way out. Pain made my stomach burn in a way I always hated, threatening to turn it on me.

And as I stood there, placing water-resistant concealer over older, fading bruises on my cheek, a pleadingly desperate prayer that had always sat in the back of my mind came forward once more.

Please. Let someone see me today.

Anybody. A teacher, a classmate. A passer-by on the street. Anybody. I didn't care who, just somebody who would look passed my carefully constructed facade of attitude. Somebody who wouldn't fall for my lies. Somebody who would just take a second glance. See passed the attempts I always made to push them away, and see that I wasn't okay. I wasn't alright.

To see that I needed somebody to just look at me. To see me, the real me, the frightened me. The me that desperately needed a helping hand, but had always been too afraid to ask for it. To afraid, and too ashamed.

I hated giving that much thought, especially after the dream I had, because once that thought was through, another thought would squash it flat.

Today would be no different than any other day. I'd go to school, and I'd suffer. I'd survive that minimal suffering, and return home to Jack's sadistic anger, and suffer then too. I'd survive that Hell, and I'd return to school, where I'd suffer some more. That was my life. Sad, disgusting and depressing. That was my life. It'd never change, so I never understood why I bothered to hold even a shred of a hope.

I was the runt that nobody saw. The equivalent of a stray kitten on the rain-soaked street that nobody stopped to pick up, despite my drenched fur and obvious desperation and malnutrition. The kind that would run from anyone who attempted to pick me up, but look back at once they gave up. Wondering why nobody ever tried harder. Wondering why I was never wanted, or cared about.

I saw my life like a shattered mirror. Broken, pieces missing. Damaged beyond repair, and no amount of glue would put it back together. Long before I ever even knew what was happening, it just turned out this way. I was raised this way. I was brought up so far incomplete and broken.

I left the bathroom, and I dressed in my long-sleeved dark brown sweater, and baggy, holey jeans. I hated wearing things twice in a row. I'd washed them, of course, but it didn't matter to a lot of my classmates. All they saw was the fact I wore them again.

I didn't have much to my name. A few torn articles of clothing, and that was about it. My tennis shoes, which should have been a size too small but still fit easily, were nearly giving in, and I hoped they had another year left in them.

I hardly ever got new clothes, and when I did, they were never new. They were always whatever Jack could find in the dumpster behind the thrift store. Clothes that no one would ever be caught dead wearing. As it was, I was wearing the best piece of clothing I owned. My sweater. The sleeves overtook my hands, but was thin enough to not do much in the way of keeping me warm.

It was very comfortable, though. Loose on me, so it didn't irritate the brand new bruises and welts, but covered them very effectively. It was about three sizes too big for me, falling to about my upper thigh. I didn't mind that so much, though. I liked it.

I pulled my dark pink wool hat over my loose hair, and I was set.

I took a deep breath, allowing myself a handful of sobs, before leaving my bedroom. After this, I wouldn't get the chance to cry like this until I was home again, so I had to get it out now. Closing the door behind me with a deep sniffle, I rounded the corner and stepped quietly over to where my mother laid on the couch.

Despite her heartbreaking choices, I still loved her. Despite the way she consistently ensured that she'd never see me, I still loved her. I shook my head, grabbed the small blanket off the end of the couch, and laid it over her.

"You drank too much last night." I told her quietly, knowing she never heard me. She continued to snore, oblivious to my presence. I sighed and turned, looking to the pack of cigarettes she had sitting on the coffee table within her reach. I lifted the pack, and the lighter sitting beside it. Looking to the clock, I had time.

My snarling stomach never ceased to ache. For as long as I could remember, I'd been hungry. Jack purposefully kept the house void of any kind of food. My best hope was that he brought left-over lunch home, and gave me a few scraps, or the school lunch.

The lunches the school provided never satisfied my hunger, and definitely wasn't enough to live on. Today, we were supposed to bring a packed lunch, for the field trip, so that killed any hope of eating today. I'd just have to deal with it. The best I could do to deal with it, was give my mouth something to do. It was the only thing I had. Although sometimes, it did make me sick.

I gingerly took a seat on the loveseat near my mom, and lit up a cigarette. I smoked quickly, sitting there calmly, nibbling on my thumbnail between drags. I knew that even if my mom woke up and saw me doing this, she wouldn't have enough energy to care.

Her pale skin told me she'd had too much to drink the night before, and would probably wake up soon only to puke, grab another beer, and fall back to sleep. She was killing herself with her choices and habits, completely forgetting that she had a daughter that needed her.

It never had been much different, anyway. Remember, I told myself, I'm the runt that nobody wants. Even my own mother didn't want me, and did everything she could to get away from me.

I smoked for maybe five minutes, listening to her snore beside me on the couch, before deciding to just take it with me. I shoved the half-full pack into a small, faded black backpack, and headed for the door. She'd probably wonder where her cigarettes ran off to, but she knew where to grab more. Maybe it'd help my cause to make her get her ass up and get another pack.

"Have a good day, mom." I murmured as I opened the front door, "Try not to drink too much." No one answered me. It was as if the house were empty. I had no doubts that she'd still be there when I got home from school.

Luckily, my little school was just up the road from my house. So I could make it there within twenty minutes if I walked fast enough.

I managed to finish my cigarette before it really started to rain, sticking to the shelter of the trees on the side of the highway until it was done. Cars passed me, and just like any other day, no one slowed down or even attempted to prevent themselves from spraying me with the mist off their tires.

It was days like this, I truly hated my life. Days after beatings like the one last night always seemed darker, more nauseating. One thought that always managed to make my heart ache, was that my father was out there somewhere. My real father, not the monster I lived with.

My father had left, divorcing my mother when I was just a toddler. I'd not heard from, or seen him since I was three years old. Even then, I wasn't sure the memories I had of him were real. Six years was a long time to forget that time in my life.

I'd seen a picture or two of him, and found that I'd taken most of his looks. Hardly any of my mother found in my features. I was sure I had some of my mother's looks, but I hadn't looked that hard in awhile. She wasn't a bad looking person. Just drunk all the time, which made her light skin even paler, giving her very sickly appearance. I could always tell when she'd had more than usual.

I had my father's hair color. His dark auburn hair versus my mother's lighter brown. His clear green eyes, versus my mother's brown.

I always felt a heavy sense of bitterness when I thought of how he seemed to forget about the fact that he had a daughter out there, and never bothered to check up on her. I hated him for leaving me and my mother, but he just had to be better than Jack. A pack of wolves would be better than Jack.

My shoes were useless in protecting my socks from getting hopelessly soaked as I stepped in puddle after puddle. I considered skipping school today as I arrived within sight of the small building. I knew I couldn't, though. They'd call Jack, and he'd be pissed.

"Leandra! You're all wet!" I ignored Rachel's irritating voice as I walked passed the playground, and headed toward the front doors of the small elementary school.

I hated Rachel with a passion. She was always relentlessly mean to me. Coming from one of the best families in town, and having the attitude to match. Pretty, to boot. Long blonde hair, and crystal blue eyes always made me jealous of her. Not to mention, she'd always had the best clothes. Her parents tirelessly providing for her and her older brother who had started middle school that year.

I wished I was pretty, but I knew that even if I were, I'd probably not even be able to hold a light to Rachel's looks. Even if I didn't have all my scars, or bruises, I would never be as pretty as Rachel.

Which was why I hated her.

There weren't many of us here, maybe 25 kids to this school, and it covered Kindergarten through sixth grade. That was it for us in this town.

Sappho was just a little side town, a community to the larger town of Forks, Washington. Fifteen minutes away, tops. The parents in town demanded at least an elementary school be built, just so they wouldn't have to pay the three cents extra a year in taxes for the buses to take us to Forks instead.

I was glad, however, that this school existed. Walking to the elementary school in Forks would have sucked. I didn't know what I'd do when I had to start going to the middle school in two years. Maybe by then, I'd be tougher, and have the stamina to walk that far twice a day five days a week. Right then, there was no way.

By the time I walked into the front doors of the school, the other kids had noticed me as well. Calling after me in a sneer as they played on the covered, bright colored jungle gym. Squealing like animals when the cold rain would somehow drip on them off the overhang. As always, I kept my gaze down, walked faster with my hands stuffed deep into the pockets of my jeans. I headed inside to try to dry off before the bell rang.

Walking through the small main hallway, my wet shoes made quiet squeaking noises on the shiny linoleum. Just being here, though, seemed to comfort me. It wasn't the blood-stained house I came from. I made my way into my classroom, glad the door was open.

"Hi there, Leandra." The teacher, Mr. Daniels spoke, looking up from his desk, "Didn't feel up to playing outside today?" I shook my head, sitting down at my desk.

I took my hat from my head, letting my hair fall down in front of my face, and laying my hat flat on my desk. Taking my little backpack off, I laid it under my desk at my feet. Keeping tabs on it by tucking my foot through one of the loops. I'd know if it was moved, and I'd punch the one moving it.

I often came inside first thing upon getting to school, so this was nothing new to him. My lack of a jacket stopped bothering him long ago, and much like he always did, he sighed and looked back down at whatever was on his desk. I never bothered him, sitting in here, so he never minded. I was quiet, and all I ever did was just sit here. Sometimes snoozing, other times staring at my hat. Absentmindedly smoothing it flat over the desk.

The longer I sat there in the silence, the more I felt myself unwinding. Relaxing from the hectic weekend I'd just had, receiving one of the worst beatings I'd gotten in awhile. I could still feel each slam of the belt against my skin. I could still hear the way he grunted with effort as he brought it down over me. It still echoed in the back of my mind, along with my cries for mercy, and I hoped I'd have at least a night off, but I doubted it. Those were few and far between.

I stared down at my hands as I slowly smoothed my hat out, making sure to stay sitting up straight, and keeping my back off the back of the seat. That would have been intolerable. Not with how fresh these welts were.

"Are you excited for the field trip today?" Mr. Daniels asked me, and I jumped. Not expecting his attempt at a conversation. I just shrugged gingerly, keeping my eyes on my hands. I was never excited for anything anymore, to be honest. In fact, I hated the field trip today. If it weren't for the stupid field trip, I would be able to look forward to eating something today. I wouldn't be missing out on lunch if it weren't for this stupid field trip.

"Did you have a nice weekend?" He asked, and I began to fear he was looking too closely.

"Always do." I mumbled quietly. I nearly choked on the words, hating the way my lie burned in my mouth. Inside, I was screaming, crying so unbelievably hard. On the outside, however, I merely continued to smooth my hat over my desk. Perhaps only a bit more tensely flattening it.

"That's good." He replied, a small smile on his face. He stopped trying to make conversation after that, probably sensing I wasn't up for talking.

I never spoke much during school. I never acted out, and I never caused any problems. I was always afraid that if I spoke too much, I'd start screaming and never stop, so I kept silent. I never bothered anyone. I didn't ask to be made fun of. I just wanted to be left alone.

The bell rang a few minutes later, calling all the little urchins into class. I kept my gaze down as the desks around me became occupied. I tucked my little bag closer between my feet, paranoid somebody was going to try and take it from me. I knew we'd only be sitting here for maybe half an hour, before we all had to get up again and go out to the bus.

Mr. Daniels began his stupid speech about manners and behaving ourselves once everyone shut up enough to listen. How we all wanted to make a good impression on the high school students. I would have much preferred to just stay where I was. I already knew I was going to hate the high school as much as I hated this one. It would never be anything more to me than somewhere to go to let myself heal a little bit from Jack's actions. Before being forced to go right back home for more.

I tried running away from home once. When I was five. I never made it passed the back steps. The night around me had scared me deeply, and I froze where I stood until Jack lifted me and carried me back inside. Where I received a beating, the threat of losing my life if I ever tried that again, and locked in my room for two days. Needless to day, I never tried that again.

"You have nothing to be nervous about." Mr. Daniels smiled at me, patting my shoulder as he saw my hesitation outside beside the bus. I swallowed the shout of pain and sighed, resigned to my fate.

It certainly didn't help that I was the smallest in my class. In my school, actually. Most kids were over 4 foot, I was still stuck far under that. I'd always been small, probably thanks to Jack starving me most of my life. I didn't grow as I should have started to by now. Not like everyone else.

One bus could easily hold all of us. I just knew today was going to bite.

"Come on, Leandra." Mr. Daniels urged me and I sighed again, stepping forward and climbing the steep steps. Walking down the aisle until I got near the back, I chose myself a seat on the left and sat down near the window.

I fixed my hair until it was covering my face once again and I stared out the window, already in my own world, ignoring everyone around me. I wished I could say the others ignored me too, but that wasn't the case. I did sometimes have my blissfully ignored moments, but a lot of the other girls didn't think I was "cool" enough to be left alone. Rachel especially.

The bullying got bad sometimes, but it wasn't anything like I received at home, so I was thankful it hadn't escalated.

I didn't even look over when the seat next to me became occupied. I just gingerly slid down in my seat, my knees resting in the middle of the seat in front of me as I stared up at the window.

Too soon, we were all on our way. The highway, the main road through both towns made it easy to get from Sappho to Forks. There wasn't much to our little community, but a gas station, general store, and the school. The rest was made up of houses. Anything else required a trip into Forks, or the other bigger cities.

"Hi, Leandra." I sighed at the voice of Rachel in the occupied seat beside me. I was considerably smaller than she was. I was the runt of the class, which already called for some picking on me, but her, she just chose to pick on me because she knew I hated it.

"Hi, Rachel." I murmured, trying to be polite.

"So." She said, "You wore that shirt on Friday. Do you own anything else?"

"No." I said sarcastically, "There wasn't any fabric left after they made your shirt."

She laughed, "You know, I don't know why you bother coming to school at all. You're not smart enough to learn anything." Her sneer was beginning to irritate me. I honestly had no idea what made the other kids attempt to bring me lower than I already was.

I didn't know what to say to that, to be honest. I didn't give a fuck what she thought of me. Was I really supposed to give her a reply? What, deny what she said, and open myself to more poorly thought up insults at the same time? Whatever.

I just shook my head, sighing a little as I looked back up at the window. Naturally, she kept trying. Pushing buttons in an attempt to get to me.

"You're so ugly. That's why you have to wear that make-up." She laughed, switching seats. I slid back down in my seat. I already knew that, thank you.

"At least I have an excuse." I said a little louder than I should have, "What's yours, Rachel?"

"Excuse me?" She asked, standing back up and sitting beside me again.

"You heard me." I murmured, not bothering to look at her.

"I don't think I did." She growled, "Repeat that."

"I said, at least I have an excuse. What is yours, you ugly-ass buffalo?" I looked at her as a couple of boys a few seats ahead of us started cracking up. Rolling in their seat with laughter.

I flinched at the rough slap she gave me. Involuntary tears coming to my eyes. Though her slap was nowhere near the strength I was used to, it triggered my instinct to cry. After a moment of her laughing at the few tears that trailed down my cheeks, I looked at her again, glaring now.

"Don't just take that, Leandra." One of the boys a few seats away called, "Hit her back."

Without thinking, I brought my fist across her face. The way it'd always been done to me. As hard as I could. I didn't think. She hit me first, so I hit her back. Just like I was told.

She started to cry harder than I had, and immediately unoccupied the seat beside me.

"I'm sorry, Rachel." I snapped, "Was I too rough on your pretty little face? Good. Hope you rot in hell."

I continued to cry as well, glaring back out the window. Though it wasn't near the degree of Rachel's tears. I'd dealt with a lot worse than what she gave me. Rachel's horde of friends glared my way as they comforted her. I did feel a little embarrassed at the disappointed audience that this hadn't turned into a real fight, but I couldn't do that right then if I wanted to. She'd probably sit on me, and I'd be out.

I hated the way she thought she could hit me and not get hit in return. There was only one person who was allowed to hit me, and that was Jack. I cried quietly, hating Rachel even more.

All I wanted, ever, was to be left alone. Why couldn't anyone see that? I would live out my sentence in purgatory, and all I asked was to not be bothered. Was that so much to ask for? I didn't think it was. I found myself thinking thoughts that I often did.

I didn't have much of a future where I was living. I didn't have much of anything where I was living. I didn't have anything to look forward to, except beatings every day. Maybe the next one would kill me. Maybe this next one would be the last, and I could finally just let everything go. I cried harder thinking about that, ignoring Rachel's sniffling laugh behind me at the sight of me still crying.

Though I was only nine years old, I already found myself aching on a daily basis for it all to end. I was so tired already, having been through so much in just nine years, I didn't care what the rest of my life had in store for me. I didn't care. I just wanted a way out.

Count on teachers not to be paying attention to what was happening in the back of the bus. The twenty minute ride was uneventful from there. I calmed down, Rachel ignored me.

We pulled out front of the high school, and everyone started standing before the bus had even stopped moving. I knew what the high schoolers were probably thinking. 'Great, a bus-load of brats.'

I stood, and as I went to step out into the aisle, Rachel placed her hand on my head, shoving me roughly back into the seat. Again, I swallowed back the loud cry of pain that exploded through me once I landed against the side of the bus, squeezing left over tears out of my eyes as I fought for breath.

A choking, quiet sob left me once I managed to stand again, having to pull myself up by the back of the seat in front of me. I was the last to climb off, dabbing tears from my cheeks, hoping the concealer had stayed after my emotional bus ride.

As soon as I made my way off the steps, Mr. Daniels took me aside. Sighing heavily as he crossed his arms loosely over his broad chest, not at all happy.

"Leandra, did you hit Rachel?" He asked quietly. Shit. She ratted.

"Yes." I said, "But she hit me first." A tremble rolled through me as I hoped that Mr. Daniels didn't decide to call Jack, but he'd obviously already thought of an equally irritating punishment.

"You girls need to learn to get along." He sighed again, "I've switched you to her group for the day."

"What?" I asked, looking up at him, "That's not fair!"

"I'm sorry, Leandra." He said, turning back to the rest of the class. I huffed and stuffed my hands in my jeans pockets. Great. Just fucking perfect. What chance I had at any kind of fun I'd have today was just smashed into little tiny pieces.

I gripped my little backpack closer to me, leaving my eyes down. Glaring at the ground, I waited for the teachers to hurry up and make sure we were all accounted for. It'd never happened before, but I wondered what they'd do if they ever lost one of us before the field trip even really started. I half hoped a bear would pop out of the trees and run off with Rachel, but that was mean of me. I even imagined I'd trip her when she tried to run. Oops.

I was half tempted to run off, just to see what they did. I never would, but I was honestly curious. I doubted they would even notice anyway.

"Alright." I looked back up, squinting up at Mr. Daniels, "Find your groups. Know your leader. They're the ones that will be escorting you around campus." We each were given a paper, telling us where to go and when. On this paper was a map of the school, in case any of us got separated. It also had a list of our group member's names, with the exception of one name on my list being crossed off, and my name written below it. The one I took the place of, Julie, didn't seem to mind the fact that she'd changed groups. She got changed to a group with one of her friends, so she was happier than I was about this arrangement.

Lucky me, Mr. Daniels was the one we followed. Probably to keep an eye on Rachel and I.

There were only enough of us fourth graders for three groups of four, so it'd be easy to keep track of everyone. Only one group would visit a class at once, alternating between each class. By the end of the day, we'd have visited all of the classes. It was a way to let us get to know the high school for later on. Educational, and supposedly, fun.

Holding the piece of paper in my hands, I studied it as we began to walk. Unfortunately, Rachel and I were pressed tighter together in the group. I felt a foot place itself in front of mine, and I hit the ground with a whimpering cough. The landing spread pain throughout my body once more, and I couldn't hold back the quiet sob. That was quickly getting old, and I looked up, glaring after Rachel with my teeth clenched.

Picking myself up off the wet pavement, I watched Rachel as she grinned my way, continuing on with the group. One of the other teachers, Mrs. Kline, helped me up.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" She asked, concerned.

"No." I grumbled, dusting off my jeans.

"What happened?" She asked, frowning as she watched me try and collect myself.

I bent down and picked up the piece of paper, now wet and crinkled. I smoothed it out, biting back tears as I quickly continued on to catch up to Mr. Daniels. Of course, the fact that he was deep in conversation with Mr. Carter was reason enough to not have seen that.

I watched as most of the class split up before heading into one of the several buildings with my group. I made sure to keep distance between Rachel and me for the time being. Hating her even worse with each throb of pain that pounded through me. I felt my patience with her thinning, and the day had just started.

I wasn't usually one to have a temper, but she was pushing it. She wasn't normally this persistent, and I half wondered why she was such a bitch today. I quickly decided I didn't care the reason why. All I cared about was the fact that if she didn't knock it off soon, I'd probably wind up getting into trouble.

Wouldn't that be fitting? Pushing her down a flight of stairs, and me getting into trouble for it. Picturing that, imagining pushing her down a flight of stairs brightened my day just a little bit. I just wanted to see that stupid head of hers bounce off each step. That wasn't so much to ask for, was it?

I sighed and followed, sticking close by Mr. Daniels as we made our way into the first class. Looking around carefully, the older kids' eyes were on us as we stepped into the room. Some seeming annoyed, others enthusiastic about our arrival. The high school students all sat watching as we made our way in. Some of their faces lit up at our apparent "cuteness".

"Class, your first group is here." The teacher announced to them, "Move into your groups, and choose a student." The desks had already been rearranged, pushed into large groups of four. One of us for a group of theirs. I looked down, already hating this day.

I stepped closer to Mr. Daniels, but that didn't hide me enough not to be chosen.

A boy in my group was chosen first, before I heard a very feminine voice call.

"The small, darker haired girl." I looked up, realizing I was the only dark haired girl in my group. I looked to the group that had someone standing, and was greeted with a very kind, enthusiastic smile from the girl that stood watching me.

I found someone deeply familiar. Her eyes on me, my eyes on her. The depression melted from my eyes, and recognition entered them. I knew she saw it. Her smile faded ever so slightly, watching the emotions in my eyes.

I didn't know where I knew her from, but I knew her. It scared me. Giving another quick glance around, I stumbled a step back. Right back into Mr. Daniels.

"Go on." He urged, and I looked up at him.

"God," Rachel snorted, "I'll go. What a baby." That was unacceptable to me. I got moving then, stepping forward quickly. Blocking her path, spinning and shoving her back with much effort. All without a word. I gave her a look, and she looked nervously toward Mr. Daniels. Not daring to say a word either.

For once, I shut her up.

I slowly turned again, stiffly making my way to the open seat beside the girl who chose me. I didn't know what to think, but the color of her eyes was the same color I recalled from my dream. The very same. I sat down slowly, barely managing to hide the wince as I did so. I looked up at her, trying so hard to remember where I'd seen her.

"Have I ever met you before?" I whispered to her when the focus was off of me.

She hummed a little in thought, her smile still there, "No, I don't think so."

"That's what I thought." I mumbled, sitting straighter. I was so concerned about my sanity at that point, I had no idea what to think anymore. Maybe it was nothing. Probably nothing. It had just shaken me a little to see that color again.

"Why do you ask?" She asked, laughing a bit.

I closed my eyes in slight humiliation, "I don't even know." She studied me, but didn't comment. That had to sound so crazy. God, what was I thinking?

"What is your name?" She asked me, and I glanced up again, before looking back down at the table. Should I answer her? She had the gold eyes, though. She had to be okay.

"Leandra." I answered quietly, "I-I.. I'm sorry. A-About saying-"

"It's fine." She assured me, laughing a little. I fidgeted a little, trying to ease the pain. I cursed under my breath when all it did was make it flare. Squeezing my eyes shut. I didn't know what to say to her.

I tried to ignore the deep, resonating sense of deja vu. This felt so familiar. My frown was back. The one I had when I first woke up that morning. I nodded, letting her know I heard her. I couldn't speak, though. Not until I knew why I knew her. My own distrust keeping me silent.

Her smile was still kind, as were her golden eyes as I met them. For a moment, only one second in time, I swore she looked at me as if she'd met me before. Like she already knew me, and it shook me.

I looked back down, trying to gather my thoughts. There was no way she could know me. I didn't know anybody.

"Aww, she's so cute!" I turned my head, looking at Rachel's group, glaring. I shook my head and turned back forward, now glaring at the table. Running my hands over the printed wooden patterns. Like Rachel needed any more reason to feel superior.

"I'm Alice." She smiled at me, "And don't worry. You're cute too."

"No I'm not." I said immediately, a hint of confusion in my tone, "Not even close." Her eyes grew concerned, meeting my confused gaze. I hated being lied to.

"You don't like her?" Alice asked, and I simply shrugged gently.

Her deep golden eyes seemed out of place, but her short black hair accentuated her features fairly well. She really was beautiful, making me not like her just a bit. Some kids had it all. Despite the jealousy, however, she had this air of happiness that seemed to draw me to her. I liked her, despite being devastatingly jealous of her.

"No." I finally said, looking down, "I don't. She's such a little..." I bit my tongue around the word I wanted to use, "Brat."

I turned my head again, my hair uncovering part of my face. I watched Rachel laugh, giggling obnoxiously along with the group she'd been chosen for. I desperately ached to hit her.

"Why not?" Alice asked. The rest of the group seemed content with leaving her to ask all the questions, not caring one bit that we hadn't gotten into anything in particular. Choosing to use this time to socialize with each other instead.

"I-I don't know.." I wasn't used to being asked so many questions. Normally, nobody ever tried this much, "She's not the easiest person to like." Instead of clamming up like I normally did, I found myself wanting to answer Alice's questions. Actually wanting to speak to her. Maybe it had something to do with the sense of familiarity, but I wasn't sure.

"Is she mean to you?"

"Yeah." I murmured, "All the time." It was the strangest feeling, actually having a conversation with someone.

"Well, don't listen to whatever she tells you." She said, smiling, "Don't let someone like that get you down."

"Yeah." I snorted, looking down, "Because it's that easy."

A short silence took place and I felt her studying my expression. For a small second, I feared some of the concealer had come off of my cheek. There was no way for me to check, so I had to settle with easing my nerves by the fact that nobody else freaked out. I kept my gaze down, trying to slow my racing heart.

"Oh, it can't be that bad, can it?" She asked, her smile fading in concern. For the oddest reason, I had to force back tears. I blinked a few times, clearing my vision enough to see the desk under my hands. The last thing I needed was to cry at such a simple question.

Hoping she didn't see that, I cleared my throat quietly, and sighed. She saw it, however. I knew she saw it. The pain in my tired eyes. Misery in every single one of my features.

I hated my life, and everybody in it. I hated everything about myself. I spent each waking moment in physical agony, and obviously each sleeping moment torturing myself with thoughts of how good life could be. How could it not be that bad?

"You have no idea." I gave her a forced smile, hoping to ease her concern.

"I think I can imagine." She replied, not falling for it. Something about the gold in her eyes made me uncomfortable. It made me feel as if she were actually looking at me. Not just seeing me, but her piercing gaze made me feel as if she could see every single thing I tried to hide.

I shook my head. There was no way. Shoving away the urge to hope. Even if she did have the slightest inkling of what went on at home, there would be nothing she could do. I scolded myself quietly. I had to get it together.

That dream had my head all messed up. I wasn't in a good place, despite how nobody seemed to know that. Alice seemed to understand, which was weird in itself, but it wasn't worth getting my hopes up about.

"So." She said, and I looked back up at her, "Tell me about yourself." Her tone had completely changed, throwing me off again. It returned to the same, chipper tone she'd first used. Open, friendly.

"There isn't much to know." I replied, gently getting more comfortable in the seat, "I'm not very interesting." My tone was quiet, much like it always was. Especially considering I was still confused. Very confused. I didn't know what to think or how to feel with her watching me so closely.

"I'm sure you're plenty fascinating." The way she said that made me believe her, if only for a moment. The smile she gave me was slightly contagious as well. I gave her a small, genuine one in return. I was quickly growing to like her. Too bad I'd never see her again after this class.

"Well, what do you want to know?" I asked, meeting her eyes again.

"How old are you?" She asked curiously.

"Same as just about everyone in my class." I said, "Nine."

"You're just a baby." She smiled, "You look a lot younger."

"I know." I said, my mood dropping as did my gaze. I blushed, sensitive about my height. I was sensitive about it because I knew the reason behind it.

"I only meant," She said quickly, trying to make up for her comment, "That I thought you had maybe skipped ahead a grade."

I sighed, shaking my head, "I'm not smart enough for that."

"Oh." She said, seeming worried now, "Okay, well. Tell me about home."

"No." I told her defensively, looking up again. She seemed slightly surprised at the finality of my tone. There was a quiet pause as we held each other's gaze. A solid wall of defense in my gaze until I realized that she'd meant no harm by that request. I was being rude, which I often did when someone asked about that part of my life. I looked back down, cursing quietly to myself, "Sorry. I just.." I trailed off, unsure of what excuse to give her.

"It's okay." She said quietly, comfortingly, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I just.. Don't like that subject." I murmured, shaking my head gently, "Pick another."

Luckily, the others seemed fine with Alice and I talking. They didn't bother interrupting us the entire hour we talked, letting Alice do all the interacting with me. We covered no part of what they'd been covering in class, and I was okay with that as well. I didn't mind so much just talking to her. I wasn't that interested in 'English literature'.

Okay, so the color gold was proving to be a good one. I honestly still had no idea what to make of the way I recognized her, but I didn't want to ruin anything. Perhaps it was best to distance myself from that color. Just to be safe.

**A/N: I know, not a lot is different in here. I have noticed a lot of places that needed work in the next few chapters.  
>Short AN here. Not much else to say. :)  
>Hope you enjoyed this first chapter.<br>Until two, my friends! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

After the first iffy question, she carefully avoided any others like it. After the first defensive reaction, I didn't have to give another. I definitely wasn't used to this much talking, and my voice was starting to hurt.

I didn't mind, though, and just for a moment, I nearly completely forgot about how much pain I was in. Just talking to Alice distracted me for one blissful hour. Just enough to ease the constant tension I felt.

Sitting beside her, I felt the strangest sense of protection. As if just having a friend like her, people like Rachel no longer mattered. For an hour, the field trip seemed bearable. The longer I sat with her, the familiarity only got stronger.

Maybe that was why I got along so well with her? I searched my mind, trying to remember where I'd met her before. It just didn't sit right with me how I recognized the color of her eyes, and seemed drawn to her like I knew her, but couldn't remember anything whatsoever about this stranger. It scared me, but I couldn't be scared.

The entire time I answered her questions, she had given me her full attention. It was very strange to me, but I found I liked it. I was used to being in the background, always just there. Never listened to, never given a second glance. Never receiving attention, unless it was meant to hurt me. I found myself meeting her eyes more often, and I found myself smiling just a bit more often. I'd never had the opportunity to just talk, and it felt good.

"I want to ask you something, but I don't." I admitted quietly, and she gave me her attention again.

"Why not?" She asked, curious.

"Because I don't know what it is I want to ask." I mumbled, "And I've found out that it's better not to ask many questions. Nobody likes someone who asks too many questions."

"That's not how it should be." She frowned a little, "Who told you that?"

I looked down, "It doesn't matter."

"Is that why you're so quiet?" She asked, and I glanced up.

"I just never have much to say." I sighed, "I'm stuck in my mind a lot of the time."

"Sometimes it's good to talk." She offered, offering a bit of hope. I immediately shook my head.

"No it's not." I answered firmly, "It's not good to talk. Not at all." Worry crossed her features.

"This is the first time I've heard her speak so much." I looked over, up at Mr. Daniels as he came to stand beside the table, "What's your secret?"

I stopped talking then. Looking down immediately, I studied my hands in my lap as she replied to him politely. Even after he walked away, it was difficult for Alice to get a reply from me. Right back to my quiet self, but she never stopped trying.

By the time we had to leave, I didn't want to. I nearly cried saying goodbye to her.

At the end of the hour, Alice stood up as my class did and gently hugged me. The very slightest pressure that she gave me told me that she was being incredibly careful, which completely threw me off. How'd she know that any harder pressure would have hurt?

Not to mention the fact that I wasn't used to being hugged. Not in the slightest. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do. She didn't seem the slightest bit discouraged by the fact that I didn't hug her back.

"Stay strong, Leandra." She told me as she pulled away, and I looked up at her. Though the rest of the group clearly found this behavior strange, they didn't comment.

"No promises." I found myself murmuring in response, meeting her eyes one last time before Mr. Daniels called me again. I glanced back to him, before sighing heavily, "And thank you. For talking to me."

"Why would she do that?" Rachel's sneer made me close my eyes and look down, "She was probably bored to tears the whole hour."

"Actually," Alice replied, "Leandra is very fascinating to talk to. I found her very intelligent and incredibly polite. She very easily held my attention the entire time she spoke to me. How many times have you been given that compliment, Rachel?" I smiled, despite the situation. Rachel didn't reply, aside from huffing and storming away.

"Thanks." I murmured, looking back up at her.

"Any time." She smiled encouragingly at me, and I couldn't help but return it.

"Leandra." Mr. Daniels called, "Let's go." I sighed, my smile fading.

"Bye." I told her.

"Take care, Leandra." She told me, and I paused before turning. Making my way toward the door where Mr. Daniels stood waiting.

I followed my group down the hall. Our next class was History, which wasn't so hard. I didn't hate it as much as I hated math. I sighed, already missing Alice. This was going to be a very long day. I doubted I'd find another friendly face in this place. I just counted my lucky stars that I'd found just one.

I felt myself distracted by how strange the situation was. The sense of knowing this person, but having no idea where I'd seen her before. That didn't happen to me often. Usually, it was difficult for me to even look up and around enough.

Just as I had predicted, no one else attempted to talk to me the way she had. I kept my mouth shut, letting whoever prattle on about whatever subject they were on in the class we visited. Staring out the window.

Most just gave up and started talking among themselves. Joking to their classmates about how they got a 'broken' kid. One suggested trying to find an on switch. At least someone was having fun.

By the time lunch rolled around, and the class gathered in the cafeteria with everyone else, I was nearly desperate to slip off on my own. Just to get away from people for a few minutes. Just a few minutes to myself.

I looked around the loud cafeteria once Mr. Daniels chose a table in the center of the room. So many people were in here, and it intimidated me. As situations like this often did.

My school cafeteria never had this many people in it.

It made my stomach hurt. Although, I wasn't sure if that was from nervousness, or the smell of food in the room. My stomach snarled, and I rubbed it gently, whimpering quietly. Knowing I'd get nothing to quiet it.

A few of the boys in my class had found a small group of high schoolers to sit with, and the teachers allowed that, which prompted a couple more from my class to flood their table. Just to seem a little 'cooler'.

I slowly looked up, and around again at the feeling of being watched. Finding Alice's eyes again. It wasn't just her this time, but others sitting with her far across the crowded room. I blushed and waved a little, trying to let her know I was okay, and survived the day so far. Though I was nowhere near okay on the inside. She smiled sadly and waved back, probably to make me feel less alone. I appreciated the gesture.

A boy to her left looked to her, seeming to murmur something quietly. I didn't see her reply, but he looked to me next, and I immediately looked down. I didn't like being watched, or caught looking at anyone else. It was just something that made me uncomfortable.

I continued to stand there, even as most of my class had seated themselves, unfolding lunches.

I debated taking something from someone and hauling ass for the door, but I wouldn't. I'd never do anything like that. I knew what it was like not having anything to eat. I wouldn't do that to anyone else.

I turned my attention back to Mr. Daniels.

"Can I go use the restroom?" I asked quietly.

"Yes, just hurry back." I nodded and turned, clutching my bag to me and heading from the room. I had my out.

I looked around me in the deserted hallway, heading the opposite direction of the restrooms to outside. Pausing at a water fountain in the hall, I took several moments to drink. Hoping to calm the empty ache in my stomach just enough to survive until tomorrow. The cool water helped the pain, and soothed the nausea I felt.

Glancing up and down the hallway, I noted that I was still alone as I continued on. I slipped out the doors quietly, and darted over to the next building, hiding behind it nearest the trees. Opening my little backpack, I looked around me again, making sure I was alone before quickly taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

I smoked quickly. Downing it, so to speak. My back stayed turned to the side of the building, but my ears listened for any hint I was about to be discovered. Particularly the sound of the door I just left. There was no silent way to open those doors.

Not picking up any, I continued.

Especially after the long weekend with nothing to eat, I needed this. I closed my eyes, just taking a breather. Regathering my patience and soothing my nerves before I had to go back inside. After awhile, just being around so many people grated on me until I just wanted to run. The stress on me started to become too much after while, and I needed to take a few minutes to myself.

Nobody ever noticed when I scooted off on my own, so it didn't become an issue. I normally cried when I was off on my own. The deep emptiness in my heart coming forward amidst the stress. Today was different. Today I didn't cry as much, because I was at a different school.

I couldn't cry today, because I had to be on my best behavior. I scoffed to myself at the thought. Best behavior. It was all a bunch of bull. Wouldn't the high school rather all of us behave like animals? Just so they knew what'd be joining them in a few years. Set the bar low, expect the worst and you're hardly ever disappointed.

It was chilly today, and the cold made my forming bruises ache.

I cuddled in my thin sweater as the rain started to pick up, thudding almost loudly as it hit me. I shivered, but continued on with my cigarette, trying to stand closer to the building where the rain wouldn't get to me. I closed my eyes, resting my head against the brick of the building. Just for a moment to rest my eyes, trying to ease the headache I knew was coming on.

When the hot end started to get too close to my fingers, I stubbed out the cigarette on the bottom of my shoe and pinched the end between my fingers. Making sure it wasn't still hot before tossing it into the trash can in front of me. I really didn't feel like setting any fires today.

I took a deep breath, and held it for a moment. Letting it out when I was sure I was ready to head back inside. I waved the air around me, trying to clear it of smoke. Feeling confident I'd pulled this off, I spun, ready to jog back into the building, but stopped dead in my tracks, nearly bouncing backwards with a gasp.

My heart racing, I met the eyes of a high schooler. He had the same golden eyes as Alice, but a guy, with auburn, almost bronze colored hair. I recognized him from Alice's table. The one who'd spoken to her. I stared up at him, wide eyed. Maybe he hadn't been standing there long.

His eyes had the same piercing effect as Alice's did, but it was far more intimidating coming from him. I took another careful step back as my eyes found the one standing beside him next. He didn't look the same as the dark haired one, with his lighter dirty blonde hair, but immediately, I noted his eyes too.

I frowned a little, noticing the sense of familiarity with these guys. Just as much as I had felt toward Alice. What the hell was going on? I chose to file that question away for later, while I focused on the more pressing issue. Being caught.

_Shit_ they scared me.

The darker haired one stood on the left, while the one on the right looked even more unhappy than the first one, and at first, I didn't know what to do. I hated being caught off guard like that.

"H-Hi." I mumbled, "You scared me." I laughed a little nervously. Despite the way I tried to make my heart slow down.

"Care to explain what you were just doing?" The dark-haired one asked me quietly. For emphasis, he gestured gently to the bag on my shoulder. I chose to ignore that. His blonde friend beside him glanced to him, but I had feeling he wouldn't be the one to talk to me. His gaze was firm. It made me nervous.

"Oh, uhm.." I hesitated, looking down, "N-Nothing. Just getting some air. It's a little crowded in there."

His eyes searched my face, and I suddenly worried my concealer had come off in the slight rain. I thought of the yellowing bruise along the left side of my face, my darkening eye. Hoping he couldn't see them. I'd definitely need to check on it. As soon as possible.

"That's not what I saw." He replied. My cheeks blushed. I knew I'd been caught, so I figured that I might as well try to make this just a little better. My heart pounded, and I took slow, deep breaths. Trying to calm it. I huffed out a defeated breath, slouching just a little.

"Okay, look." I said quietly, "I don't do this often. Just.. Just now and then."

"Now and then is often enough." Was his calm reply, "How old are you?"

"Nine." I answered, my tone almost hesitant as I looked away.

"Nine years old and smoking." He shook his head, "Should I let someone know? Have them call your parents?"

"No." I told him firmly, a strong shiver of fear trying to steal my breath, "Please." I lowered my voice, "Don't tell anyone. I won't do it again, just please. Please don't get my parents called. Please."

He looked somewhat surprised at the fear in my voice. Studying my face closer, something of a carefully curious expression entered his eyes. Puzzled. As if he were piecing things together that I hadn't mentioned. I stayed quiet, though, waiting on his decision.

When he stayed quiet as well, I managed to figure out a way to persuade him, "Don't get them called. My mom's sick." More true than I wanted to admit, "And my stepdad works a whole lot. I never get in trouble at school."

"Okay." He finally said with a sigh, "Give me the ones you have on you, and I won't tell anyone." I couldn't believe my luck. He was going to let it slide.

I quickly nodded, reaching into my backpack and handing the pack over, my heart still racing. Not even caring I was handing all the ones I had over. I was just thankful, beyond thankful Jack wouldn't be called.

He nodded, "Just don't do it again, alright?"

"I won't." I said quietly, stuffing as much sincerity into my tone as I could, "I promise." He sighed, tossing the pack in the trash. It was quiet for a moment, until I spoke again.

"What are your names, anyway?" I asked, trying to figure these guys out. They weren't nearly as open or friendly as Alice was. The left one smirked at my question. The other stayed with a frown. Seeming puzzled.

"Edward Cullen." He replied. I nodded, looking down before glancing to the second one.

"Jasper." He gave me a nod, "Hale." Those weren't common names. I couldn't help focusing on their eyes. Like Alice's, Edward's eyes were golden. A strange golden color not commonly seen. Jasper's were darker, but somehow just as confusing.

"Leandra." I said quietly, silently debating for a moment. What could it hurt to give them my last name? "Leandra Wallace." I finished just as quietly, "Nice to meet you. Maybe I could have done it another way, but-"

"Why do you fear your parents?" Jasper asked. His tone was both curious, and firm. Not quite commanding, but with a smooth authority. Instantly taking my attention. He wasn't being mean with that question, but I couldn't just ignore it like I wanted to.

I still didn't know what to make of either of them, so I stayed guarded. My mind working a million miles a minute, trying to come up with an answer.

"I don't fear them.." I mumbled as casually as I could, keeping my eyes away from his, "I just.. Jack, my stepdad, would get mad if he got a call from the school and he had to leave work to come sort it out." I placed my bag back on my shoulder gently, awkwardly shoving my trembling hands into my pockets, "I don't like making him mad. That's all." Also an understatement.

"Your stepdad." Jasper spoke again with the same tone, "He's strict?"

"Very." I said without thinking. I instantly kicked myself, "I mean. Yeah, he has rules.." I looked down awkwardly. I was bombing. Quickly. I had to fix it, "Trust me. You've never met anyone like him before."

"What about your mother?"

"She's.." I recalled her passed out drunk on the couch every day, "She's very.. Laid back. Like I said, she's been sick. For a long time now."

I was fully convinced my mom had been drunk the day I was born, so that wasn't a lie. I couldn't remember a time when I didn't see her either passed out, or too drunk to have a conversation with.

I couldn't understand where all these personal questions were coming from, or why I bothered to answer them, but they agreed not to have Jack called. That's what mattered to me, and I wasn't afraid of them like I was always afraid of strangers. I was more comfortable than I had been all day, oddly enough. When did that happen?

I moved to the side, their eyes following me. I attempted to step around Jasper, and they just followed. Letting me pass, but walking along beside me. Jasper to my left, Edward to my right, as if herding me. I wasn't afraid, though. Only curious.

"Tell me about him." Jasper requested, and I glanced up at him with a small scoff.

"How much time do you have?" I replied quietly. I couldn't help the bitter edge to my voice. I wanted to ask him if he'd ever met Satan before, but I sighed instead, "He's taught me a lot." Another understatement, but the finality of my tone had to tell him I was done talking about Jack.

I looked to Edward, "You're Alice's brother?"

"It's safe to assume." He replied. I really couldn't tell by his tone if I'd pissed him off or not, so I got a little nervous.

"Well, it's just.. I saw you sitting with her earlier, and you two sort of look alike, I guess.. I just thought-"

"Relax." He told me, noticing my nervous rambling, "It seems you've made quite an impression on her."

"I have?" I asked, surprised. That really surprised me. I never made an impression on anyone. I certainly wasn't trying to leave any impressions. I wasn't aware I had, "I'm sorry."

"It's not a bad thing, Leandra." He seemed confused at my nervousness. Jasper, remaining quiet, just walked along beside me.

"Oh." I murmured, looking down, "Then.. You're welcome?"

He smirked again, chuckling quietly. I was extremely out of my element. I avoided talking to anyone like the plague. I half wondered what was wrong with me today, until he spoke again.

"Are you going to eat lunch?" He asked quietly. I sighed, remembering I didn't have anything.

"No." I murmured, looking up at him, "I'm not hungry. How about you?" I smiled a little, "Do you always follow fourth graders outside?"

"Only when they go off by themselves." He chuckled slightly. I smiled a little, shaking my head. My smile faded as I realized I'd have to go back inside soon. They'd start wondering if I fell in.

"I gotta go back now." I said sadly, looking up at him. He nodded. I hated having to tell them that. It was nice having someone to talk to. It surprised me to find that it was just as easy to talk to him as it was Alice.

Despite him not being as friendly as she was. He had a carefully calm sort of air about him. Like he was listening to something I couldn't hear. It almost made me want to shut up, not wanting to interrupt him.

Jasper's presense alone was almost as calming. It was the oddest sort of emotion. Being both intimidated by him, but not minding it.

"No more smoking, alright?" Edward asked quietly.

"Okay." I agreed. At least not here. Today would be the last time I ever brought cigarettes with me on a field trip. Maybe even at school at all. He followed me as I changed my direction and started walking slowly back toward the lunch room, my hands still in my pockets. I didn't want to go back.

I'd always preferred to be on my own, and I always hated other people. I was just an odd one. There were people in my class I did get along with. Ones who weren't mean, or didn't look at me like trash, but I never bothered trying to gather a friend or two. I stayed away from them just as much as I stayed away from the ones I didn't get along with.

"Are you from around here?" Edward asked, following. Jasper did as well, which I was quickly learning not to mind. I liked them.

"No, I live in Sappho." I said quietly, looking over at him, "This is the only high school anywhere around, so they brought us here. I should be going to the school here, but some of the parents thought it would be cheaper to send us to the one closer. I'm not complaining. As shitty as school is with twenty five kids, I'd hate to see what it'd be like _here_."

"Shame." He said, "There isn't much to Sappho, is there?"

"There isn't much to Forks, either." I pointed out and he allowed that with a chuckle, "But there's more here than there is there." My small smile faded again and I sighed, "I didn't even want to come on this stupid trip."

"Why not?" He asked curiously.

"I don't like new places." I explained, "But I didn't want to stay home." I instantly kicked myself again. Fuck. I just knew now he was going to ask about my shitty life at home, and I'd have to lie even more. To my surprise, he only nodded.

"So what class do you have next?" He asked instead.

"Oh, uhm.." I paused on the sidewalk, and reached into my little pack. Trying to shake off my surprise. I sighed, looking at the paper, "Biology."

He nodded again, "I'll see you there then."

I smiled a little, "If you see a girl named Rachel, trip her for me."

"I wouldn't." He replied, surprised.

"I'd do it myself," I muttered, "But I'd probably be the one to get into trouble for it."

"Is she mean to you?" He asked, frowning. The second time I'd been asked that today.

"We've never gotten along." I murmured, "So the stupid teacher thought it was a good idea to put me in her group." I sighed, "She trips me one more time, she won't have a foot left to trip me with. She's just mad I socked her this morning."

He saw I was getting irritated, "Is that how you got that bruise?" He asked, pointing to the left of my face. I blushed again, looking down. My eyes involuntarily widened, and my heart sped up.

As carefully calm as I usually was, _that_ was unexpected. Completely throwing me off.

"Uh.." Should I say yes? "No, that.." I couldn't think of anything. My panicked mind stayed blank. I reached up and touched it gently with my fingers.

Nobody had ever asked about my bruises before. Nobody had ever even acknowledged that they'd seen any of them before. I didn't know how to react now that someone had. I hadn't bothered to come up with an excuse for it beforehand, so my stupid mind wouldn't come up with anything but the truth.

Edward seemed to stiffen again, but I ignored it.

"You don't have to answer." He said. I picked up something of a hidden meaning in his words. Something he wasn't saying. Despite that, my panic slowly began to ease. I still trembled subtly, and my hand lowered.

I didn't have to answer. I wasn't going to answer either way. Not truthfully, anyway, but it definitely helped that I didn't have to lie to him.

"Yeah." I sighed, "So.. See you in a bit then." I tried to smile up at him, but his eyes seemed angry. I subtly put distance between him and I, not sure what to expect. What had I done to piss him off?

"Yeah." He said, turning and walking into the cafeteria. Jasper's eyes lingered on me for a moment, before he followed Edward. Just leaving me there, confused and worried.

I watched after them for a few seconds, half considering going back for another cigarette, but I decided against it. I'd been gone for too long as it was. I doubted anyone would care what I'd been doing, but I didn't want to risk it.

I shook my head, making my way back inside after them. I was half worried I'd made Edward mad by not answering, but oh well. I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't tell anyone the truth. I was still in complete shock over the fact that he saw the bruise I tried to cover up. Never, in all of my school career, had anyone ever seen it. Any of them.

I suddenly thought back to this morning. My wish. I'd wished that someone would look close enough to see the pain I was in. I'd wished someone wouldn't buy my lies.

Maybe today was different.

What with the dream this morning, how much I hated waking up. Add this on, it only created an even stranger mystery. Did this mean that these people wouldn't accept my assurances that I was okay? Did this mean they saw me?

That thought scared me, despite how hard I'd wished for it. It scared me, because I sure as hell didn't know what to expect, should they insist. Seeing me wasn't saving me. It was ensuring more pain if they ever told anyone.

I stepped into the bathroom, looking over my face in the mirror. The concealer had stayed, almost completely covering the bruise. Maybe just a very slight discoloration over my cheek. It confused me as to how he managed to know it was there, when I almost never gave him direct sight of my cheek.

How he'd seen it wasn't the issue, though. The issue was that he had.

Who would he tell? Was he so upset that he'd run to a teacher and tell them to ask me about it? Would Jack be called? Would Jack be told that I had told someone? My heart sank at that thought.

Despite my efforts to hold it back, I started to cry. My breath coming in quiet, panicked gasps, I cried gently in fear. My legs trembled, threatening to give out, so I held tightly to the sink.

Just the thought of Jack finding out I told anyone, caused fear to race through me. My heart pounded a million miles a minute, and I knew I had to calm down. I couldn't walk back into the cafeteria like this.

I calmed myself slightly with the thought that when I saw him next class, I'd have to explain where the bruise came from. That would divert his suspicion, and it would keep him quiet. Keeping him quiet was the number one priority right now. My life depended on it.

But.. What if he didn't wait until next class?

That got my feet moving. I scooted from the bathroom as fast as I could, my panic renewed. Left over tears still on my cheeks. I had to find him now. It couldn't wait.

I had two minutes to come up with an excuse, before I made it to his table. I fell, I ran into a pole, I got hit by a car, a goddamn bear mauled me, just keep your damn mouth shut!

I took a deep breath, holding it before letting it out. I had to calm down. What was believable? I was standing outside a door, and someone came through it really quickly. Yes.

To my relief, he was sitting there when I walked in. They all were. Despite the way I recognized three of the five sitting there, I was still nervous. Would they mind me going over there? I took the long way around, my breathing still racing as I made my way closer. Their eyes on me as if I were crazy as I stepped to Edward's side. Confused, he looked at me.

That wasn't very comforting, but neither was the thought of him ratting on me.

For a moment, it hit me. I was hardly taller than Edward with him sitting down. I hated how small I was. Shaking that off, I sighed and got back to what I needed to say.

"I ran into a door." I mumbled with finality.

"You ran into a door?" He asked, "Lovely. Nice to know."

"No.. I mean.. The door kind of.. Ran into me."

"I'm not following you."

"That's how I got.. This." I murmured, touching my cheek briefly, and understanding came to his eyes. Which I was thankful for, as I hated getting the feeling he questioned my sanity, "So.. Yeah. That's how I got it. A door hit me."

"You came all the way over here just to tell me that?" He seemed surprised.

"Yeah." I muttered, "I just.. Didn't want you to tell anyone about it.. Because you're kind of the only one who's ever noticed it, and-"

"Not true." Alice's voice had me look to her, "I noticed it. I just didn't ask about it." I looked to her side, to Jasper seated close to her. A blush came to my cheeks as I looked at the other two looking my way. The very large guy across the table had an amused smirk on his face, the blonde looked annoyed.

"Um.." I mumbled, suddenly very intimidated and I looked to Edward again, "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Relax." Edward told me, "I wasn't going to."

"She sure is a shaky little thing." The large one smirking chuckled, "I wish she'd come to my class."

"Emmett.." Alice scolded, "Stop."

"You weren't going to?" I asked quietly, half afraid to hope, "You're not going to now, are you?"

"No." He said, "I won't tell anyone. Although, maybe I should-"

"No." I whimpered, my breath catching, "Please. I'll be more careful. I promise. I won't stand near any doors. No doors. I'll stay away from them forever, if you just shut up." I couldn't help it this time. I was probably blowing it just by how I spoke, but I needed to stress how important it was without giving him any reason why it was so important. I did the best I could with what I had.

I was stared at, concern around the table. Even the smirking guy's smirk faded, and I sighed. Trembling from head to toe. That was something that couldn't happen.

"Jack can't know." I murmured quietly, "Please just forget about it." Edward was quiet for a moment, glancing to the side at the others, "I don't know how you saw it, but it really is nothing."

"Did he put that there?" He gestured to my face.

"No." I said instantly, "I ran into a door. I mean.." I sighed, "You know what I mean." He didn't buy it. I saw the difference immediately. Between the ones that only went as far as asking me if I was okay, and Edward's suspicious gaze now.

Shit, shit, _shit_. He didn't believe me. Not that I could blame him, but I didn't specifically need him to believe me. All I wanted from him was just to know he wouldn't run to the nearest teacher. It really was that simple.

I held his gaze, hoping that helped me. I wouldn't say another word unless he did, as he was clearly waiting for me to continue denying it. What he didn't understand, was that I was trying to protect my life. That wasn't something I took lightly.

Before I could even concentrate on what that thought meant, I saw his expression change ever-so-slightly. Not enough to identify what it was his emotion had changed to, but enough to see and distract me.

"You say I'm the only one ever to notice?" Edward asked finally, "Nobody has ever noticed?"

"No." I replied shakily, "Nobody." He was quiet, "Because there's nothing to notice. I just didn't want you to think the wrong thing." Nailed it. I still amazed myself at how I was able to lie. If Edward knew how right he was, I was a gonner.

"You're telling me," He sighed, turning in his chair a bit to face me a little more, "That I'm the only one to ever notice?"

"Yes." I sighed, slightly irritated now.

"So there's been more." He murmured.

Fuck.

"No." I replied instantly, "I-I just meant this. You're the only one to ever notice this."

He still didn't seem convinced. Glancing to the side again at Jasper, who returned his glance across the table. I held my breath.

"Alright." He told me, "I won't say a word about the door hitting you." The way he worded that worried me instead of comforted me, "Can you tell me more about where you live in Sappho?" My previous slight relief was squashed immediately. There was only one reason he'd need to ask where I lived. I wasn't stupid.

There were rules I followed. Rules I knew well, as it was a requirement. One, don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me first. Two, don't look at anyone for too long. Looking at them just opens me up for trouble. Three, never give away where exactly I live.

That third rule was one placed by Jack, but I edited it a little. Never telling anyone where the house was meant safety for me, and for whoever wanted to know as well. If I could keep one less person from knowing what kind of hell I lived in, or meeting Jack, I'd do whatever it took.

"Way across town." I said after only seconds, "Behind the last gas station before you hit the highway. In that little group of houses there." A complete lie. I glanced behind me, "I gotta go. Just.. Don't tell anyone. Please. It's really nothing."

Please, I thought. Just let him agree. I just needed his agreement that he wouldn't say anything to anyone about anything. That's all I wanted. I didn't need my life more complicated.

"I won't." He sighed. As if he really didn't want to agree to that.

"Thank you." I sighed as well. Even if he didn't want to agree, he agreed. That's all I needed, "I'll quit bothering you guys now." I pursed my lips, glancing around before I got moving. Hoping my heart calmed down before I got to my class' table.

Should I have stayed? Made sure he didn't tell anyone? That could have been a bad idea, considering I seemed to just keep getting myself into more trouble.

"Leandra." I glanced back at Alice's call, "Wait." Dear God, what now? My nerves really couldn't take much more.

I waited, watching her dance around the table, and came to stand in front of me. She held her hand up and offered something to me. My eyes widened at what it was, and I looked up at her. I shook my head slowly, refusing the apple she offered. As much as it bothered me to.

"I can't." I murmured, "Really. Thank you, but it's yours."

"I want you to have it." She insisted, "It's okay." I was tempted. I really was, and I probably would have taken it had Mr. Daniels not called to me.

"Leandra." He called behind me, "There you are. It's about time to go." I looked around, noticing the population in the cafeteria had thinned out.

"I can't. I have to go." I told her, "Thank you, though. Really." Her gesture had nearly brought tears to my eyes. I bit them back as I turned.

"Leandra." She spoke again, and I glanced up at her again, "I worry."

"Don't." I replied, "You shouldn't. Not about someone like me."

Before I could cry in front of her, I turned again, and hurriedly made my way to Mr. Daniels' side. Sitting down in the empty seat there with a quiet sniffle.

"I saw that girl trying to give you something to eat." Rachel called from the side, "What? Wasn't your lunch enough? Have to take others too? What a hippo."

I looked down, feeling that edge of my patience coming even closer. I glanced behind me at Alice now back at her table. Jasper's arm around her as she spoke quietly, her eyes on me as well. They were getting ready to go, gathering their stuff, probably to make it to their next classes ahead of time.

"I never took it." I said, looking forward again, "So shut your face."

"Too good for other people's food now?" She countered. I chose not to reply. If I would have acknowledged her comment, I would have burst into tears, and started beating on her as I did so.

This day was proving challenging to me, and we'd only just finished lunch.

Watching as Alice and Edward's group left their table behind, and started toward the door, I couldn't help noticing how much kindness I'd seen from them. Alice didn't have to keep talking to me during her class. Edward and Jasper didn't have to follow me outside. Even if that was partially what made me so nervous.

Alice still in Jasper's embrace led the way from the cafeteria. I sniffled again. I half looked forward to seeing Edward next class, but I was also very nervous about it.

I'd be in the same room with him, giving him a chance to look at my bruise some more. I knew as well as anybody that once someone saw something, it couldn't be unseen. If only he knew that wasn't the only one on me. He'd for sure freak out if he knew about the others. I wouldn't be able to talk him out of telling anyone about the others.

I frowned, watching his steps falter just a bit on his way by a few tables away. Like he wanted to stop, but quickly decided against it just as he was stopping. I wondered if he was okay, worried now. I eventually shook it off, watching after him and his group, figuring he probably just stumbled over a backpack someone left on the floor. I'd done that before. Or he thought he saw a quarter on the floor. I'd done that too.

We followed them not long after. The groups once more splitting up once the bell rang. Leaving my group to head into the next building to visit the biology class. Mr. Daniels paused outside a door, opening it slowly for us. The rumbling of talking slowly died as we made our way in, the class' eyes on us. I looked around at all the eyes watching us. As with every other class, some looked happy to see us, others looked annoyed.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes tiredly. Wincing a little, and choosing to just rub my right eye instead. My stomach growled, reminding me what I'd just missed as we waited.

We stood at the front, again waiting for the class of high schoolers to get into their groups. I met Edward's eyes and smiled a bit. I waved, and he returned it. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Rachel's eyes on me.

I was chosen first this time, and of all the groups, Edward's was the one that got me. Why did that relieve me? I walked over almost happily. I chose the seat beside another boy, closest to the wall. Settling into the chair slowly, I looked up.

"Hi again, Leandra." Edward greeted me almost loudly. I looked over at Rachel's wide eyed expression at witnessing Edward calling me by name. I almost burst out laughing as I pictured her imploding in jealousy.

"Hi, Edward." I replied, turning and smiling back at him.

I kneeled up in the middle of the chair, my elbows on the table. I found this position felt better, ensuring my back stayed away from the hard plastic back of the chair.

Unfortunately, Rachel was in the group just beside mine. Her table in front of this table, and our chairs only inches apart. I scowled at the table as she shoved my chair out of the way, nearly dumping me out of it, so she could pull hers out directly behind me.

"Jesus, fat-ass." I yelped, looking back at her, "Calm down over there. The cake is down the hall." Both of our groups started laughing as she glared at me.

"A-At least I own more than one shirt." She snapped back at me. Didn't she have any other insults?

"Too bad they're all size 'Tent'." More laughter around us. Even Edward was smirking at the look on her face, "Aww hey, don't get mad." I said, laughing a little myself, "It'll be okay. They'll make more fabric one day, and your mom can take you shopping again."

"At least I don't need my brother to say hi to me to try and make people jealous." She huffed. I looked confused at Edward before looking back at her. She thought he was my brother? I mean sure, we did have the same hair color, maybe his a little darker, but that was it.

"I don't have a brother." I told her, "We don't even look alike."

"Sure." She drew out the word, and again, I wanted to hit her.

"Really," I laughed instead, "I'm an only child."

"See? Even what siblings you could have had can't stand to be around you."

Okay, that stung a bit. I almost told her it was because my stepdad preferred me over my mom that way, just to see what she said to that, but I bit my tongue. Instead of replying to what she said, I just rolled my eyes and turned back to the table. She grinned in triumph and sat down.

I righted my chair when she was seated, tucking it in more. I wouldn't want a brother from Jack anyway. No doubt he'd be spoiled rotten, and be just like him. I didn't need another Jack in my life. One was more than enough.

I sighed, looking up and around.

"So.." I said, "Biology." Edward looked angry again, but I didn't point it out. A girl beside him smiled my way.

"I'm Bella." She said, reaching her hand across the table. I reached out and shook it. The stretching motion set my back into a deep, throbbing pain, but I ignored it the best I could.

"Leandra." I said.

"You're pretty quick with those come-backs." The boy sitting to my left said. I laughed bitterly, shaking my head.

"I just can't stand dumb-asses like that thinking they're the brightest thing since the light bulb." I gestured over my shoulder. I laid my weight on my arms, and scooted the chair closer to the table with my feet, still kneeled in it.

Having heard what I said, Rachel roughly shoved her chair back, hitting the back of her chair into the back of mine. I winced heavily as the motion shoved my chair forward, slamming my ribs into the table in front of me and pinning me there. I lost my breath for a second, wincing hard in pain.

"That hurt, you stupid fucking cow!" I snarled back at her when I recovered, spinning as much as I could, "Back up before I knock your goddamn teeth out." I ignored the shocked eyes on us now, having gained the attention of the entire class.

"Leandra." Mr. Daniels scolded me from across the room, "Watch the language."

"Yeah, Leandra." Rachel told me, "Watch the language. I'm awfully sorry if that hurt. I just forgot you were there." Her tone was dripping with false innocence. Slowly, painfully slowly, she scooted her chair in, and I pushed mine back, whimpering as I did so. That _really_ hurt.

"Here." Bella offered, starting to clear off the area of the table against the wall, "Sit up here-"

"No." I said quietly, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?" She asked, and I nodded.

"She knows if she does it again, I'll beat her ass." She laughed in response.

"You wouldn't dare." She said, looking back at me, "We both know that I won that fight this morning. You cried like a baby for like an hour. So you can just deal with it." I grit my teeth and looked down.

"I only cried because your smell makes me want to puke. You should try showering once in awhile." That shut her up. Gasping offendedly, she turned forward again.

"Okay," The boy beside me laughed, "You are officially my favorite fourth grader."

"Thanks." I muttered, keeping my eyes down. I didn't like insulting others. Normally, it made me feel as bad as I was trying to make them feel, but if she was going to insult me, I wasn't going to take it lying down.

I looked up across the table, spotting Edward watching me closely. I quickly looked back down, sighing heavily. I turned my head to the side, hiding that side of my face from his gaze. The wall on the far side of the room suddenly became so incredibly fascinating.

"I do shower." Rachel grumbled behind me, regaining my attention.

"No, no." I said, "The point is to shower more than once a week. Or else you start smelling like a moose." Again, both groups laughed, and I turned forward again.

"Yeah," Rachel said, "I guess you're right. Who on earth would ever want to smell like your mom?" She shuddered, and her group laughed louder than they had before. That had hit a nerve.

"Ouch." The boy beside me chuckled, shaking his head. My cheeks blushed, and I glared at the table.

"What?" Rachel asked among the laughter, "No come-back?"

"Leandra?" Edward's voice had me look up, my cheeks burning in embarrassment. I couldn't speak yet, as I was seconds away from turning around and hitting her.

"Back to work, guys." The high school teacher said, having made his way over, "Come on. Stop arguing." I took a deep breath, calming down enough to speak. I did have a come-back in mind, but I needed to calm down first. Just so my voice would be steady enough.

"Yeah. Let's get off of the subject of moms." I mumbled eventually, "I can't say anything about Rachel's mom." I turned, looking at her.

"That's right." She grinned.

"After all, I don't even know the guy." I finished, and the look on her face was priceless.

The deafening laughter that resulted from every group in the class now made me feel a little better. Satisfied with her silence, and her suddenly flushed cheeks, I turned forward again. Smiling down at the table.

**A/N: A little more added to this one. Not much different, but added to. :)  
>Since I'm releasing this right after the first chapter, and this is normally where I'd be thanking the reviewers for leaving their thoughts, I'll hold off on that until the next release, but I'll definitely appreciate seeing them. :D<strong>  
><strong>Hope you enjoyed this one too.<strong>  
><strong>Until three! :D<strong> 


	3. Chapter 3

**ImPORTANT NOTE: This fic is rated M for adult themes. This chapter isn't for the faint of heart. It's not very descriptive, but you'll get the point. Just don't say I didn't give you a heads up. Kay? Kay. On we go.**

**Chapter Three**

After I shut Rachel up with that come-back, she didn't talk to me again.

The hour seemed to go by too quickly. I was actually liking this lesson, despite the fact that Rachel sat inches from me. It was nice having kids to talk to, even if I chose not to speak that often. I was quickly starting to realize that I got along better with older kids than I did kids my age.

Sitting there listening to them, I focused on a strand of my hair. Holding it between my hands, my elbows on the table. I considered cutting my hair when I went home that day, just so it'd be harder for Jack to catch a hold of.

It was a hard decision to make, as I knew that when I screwed it up, Rachel would have a field day with the insults. Should I make my life easier at home, just to make my life harder at school? Or should I leave my hair the way it was?

I sighed. I'd leave it the way it was.

Fifteen minutes in, however, Rachel began throwing things at me. The first three times, I ignored it. They were just little pieces of paper. Nothing worth getting upset over. It did bug me, but I didn't respond to it.

The fourth time, fifteen minutes until the end of the lesson, it was a piece of paper soaked in spit. I spun and slapped her across the back of her head, letting her know that shit wouldn't fly. The hit stung my hand, but I wouldn't let on about that.

"I'm telling!" She gasped, her hand massaging the back of her head. Nobody commented. Despite her threat, though, she didn't get up.

"Go ahead." I snapped, "Don't spit on me."

"I didn't spit on you, stupid." She said, "I spit on the paper."

"And you threw the paper at me. It's the same thing, and it's gross." I grumbled, rolling my eyes, "I get enough shit at home. I don't need you adding to it." I instantly shut up, not even breathing. Going quiet once I realized I'd admitted too much. I blushed, looking around at all the eyes on me, "So, uh.."

"Yeah." Mike, the boy sitting beside me said, looking back down at the text book. Obviously wanting to just drop it. The typical reaction. I was used to that. I was used to people avoiding the subject at all costs.

"What kind?" Edward spoke up. I looked at him, hoping it wasn't the question I feared it was, "What kind of treatment do you get at home?" Everyone's eyes were on me as they waited for my answer. That was something I wasn't used to. Someone actually asking. Especially the way he asked.

"I-Well, uh.." I was quiet for a few seconds. I was trying to come up with some stupid excuse about how an only child had too many chores, when Rachel decided to comment.

"Her mom probably hits her." Rachel turned around in her chair, "Even her own mom doesn't want her." My face flushed hotly, and my heart beat sped up in anger. Instantly, I was trembling. She was wrong about the first part, but the second part hit home.

I wanted to hit her so badly, and I glanced up. Noticing Edward's eyes directly on me. I wanted to hit her so bad, but my clenched hands on the table relaxed. Flattened, my palms pressed against the table.

"No she doesn't." I finally said. I was actually answering her second statement, agreeing with her, but she took that as further argument.

"I bet she does." Rachel laughed, "Nobody wants you, Leandra." Nobody but her laughed, thankfully. Though I knew they were paying attention again. Nobody found that funny but her, which really should have said something.

It was odd, and even through my anger I realized that I'd just been faced with a decision. A life altering one that would send me one way, or another, depending fully on what I chose to do in this moment. It wasn't so much a knowledge, but a feeling. An instinctive feeling that I felt in my stomach.

Do one thing, get one result. Do another, get a completely different result.

"Leandra?" Edward spoke quietly, trying to gain my attention. Trying to calm me down, obviously, but it wouldn't work this time. I looked up at him, and I knew he could see my emotions.

I sat there for a few seconds longer, trembling. Until finally, I pushed myself up so suddenly, my chair scraped loudly on the floor. Rachel cringed just a bit, watching as I leaned closer to her.

"You don't know shit about my mom." I told her quietly, "Say that again, and I'll fucking kill you." Her face had gone white with my tone, and she leaned further back as she stared up at me with wide blue eyes. Probably terrified. I didn't even know I knew how to use that tone, but I was sure glad I did now. It probably wouldn't have taken much to make her wet herself, but I wasn't willing to stick around to try.

The high school teacher had noticed, "Now what's going on over there?"

I had to go. Now.

Instead of waiting for my emotions to become too much, I stepped around her, and strode straight for the door.

I was tired, and after that dream this morning, I was done.

From what I could remember, the very vague details, I'd dreamed I was wanted. I didn't know what that felt like before, but now that I knew, it hurt worse than anything I'd ever felt to let it go. I'd lost everything, and here was Rachel, hurting me even more without even trying.

I'd found my limit, and as much as I wanted to punch her stupid face in, I couldn't. Besides that, I was seconds away from crying like a baby, and I didn't want to give the bitch the satisfaction of seeing it.

"Leandra?" Mr. Daniels asked after me, too far from the door to stop me physically.

"She's crazy." Rachel called after me as well, and that was all I heard before I slammed the door behind myself, heading up the hall as the slamming door echoed loudly through it.

Until I couldn't move anymore, and I could no longer hold back the emotion. Her words had hurt more than I could ever begin to describe. I stopped when I could no longer see where I was going, stepping back to the wall, and sliding carefully down to sit against it. The pain in my back only made me cry harder. Reminding me that no matter what it felt like, it had only been a dream. Just a stupid dream that was making me cry now. Hours later.

Mr. Daniels followed me out a short few seconds later, finding me easily.

"Leandra?" He asked, squatting down in front of me, "What happened?" I couldn't speak. Only cry harder. My eyes could hardly open to look at him. Tears spilled from my eyes too quickly to clear my vision, and it wasn't stopping.

Why couldn't anyone see me? It wasn't fair. I'd had enough. I was so busy, striving so hard to make everybody's life easier by keeping my mouth shut. I was protecting Jack, even though it was clearly involuntary, but what about me? I was tired of struggling, of making his life easier while I worked my ass off for more pain.

I'd lost so much. I'd lost too much, and this wasn't at all like it should be. I was scared, alone, and I didn't have what I needed to change that. I sobbed, my quiet cry echoing in the hallway.

Laying my head back, I hit it against the wall. Squeezing my eyes shut.

After a few minutes of waiting for me to calm down, and finding me unable to, Mr. Daniels sighed and stood. Taking my hand, he stood me up.

"I'm going to call your parents." He informed me, "I think you should go home." I couldn't blame him, but all that news did was make me cry harder. I knew what this meant.

Jack was the kind of person nobody wanted to cross. Not ever. He was tall, strong. Respectable looking guy, but had a firm personality that intimidated everyone he came across. Maybe it was just me, but he could intimidate me with just a glance. Not even looking directly at me. Just a glance in my general direction. Just the sound of his voice could petrify me if he wanted it to.

He was handsome. Not even that old, really. Only two years older than my mom's thirty. Nobody would ever suspect he had such a secret.

He had a way of changing faces at will. Honest, open one minute, sadistic the next. His eyes were a clear, dark ice blue that stayed a constant glare when they were on me. His dark brown hair never seemed out of place.

Jack was the kind of person who got what he wanted. Every time, mostly without much effort on his part. He could lie, and sometimes I couldn't even tell if he believed what he said as a lie or not. Not one thing could give him away. Not his voice, not his eyes, and definitely not the way he laughed. I'd only seen him have to lie only a handful of times. He very rarely let anyone look at me too long when I was with him.

Sitting there, waiting for him to make the trip through town to get me, I had a feeling I would see that again today. Mr. Daniels waited with me, trying to get me to talk about what happened back in the classroom, but I wouldn't say a word. I was far too afraid to.

I wondered what he'd do when he got there. What he'd say.

I knew when Jack got there, glancing up as Mr. Daniels noticed him approaching. Standing from his seat beside me, he watched out the front office window.

Jack greeted him with a very tense smile, stepping into the building. I could hear the smile in his voice, his tone only slightly strained. Fear had my heart speed up, but I kept my eyes on the multi-colored carpet.

"I'm sorry you had to be called down here, Mr. Wallace." Mr. Daniels kept his voice quiet, even as I felt Jack's eyes on me. I hardly moved, even to breathe.

"Me too." Jack replied, "What'd she do this time?"

"From what I understand, one of her classmates upset her." He answered, "She's not in any trouble, but I think she should be allowed to go home. I think she's just having a hard day."

"That happens." Jack chuckled understandingly, "She wasn't feeling the best over the weekend, but insisted on coming to school today, so I let her." His tone was easy. Only giving away a slight bit of his annoyance. Only to me, as I knew what to listen for. He sighed, placing his hand on the back of my head, "I had a feeling this would happen."

"I'm so glad you understand." Mr. Daniels replied, "I hope she feels better soon."

"Come on." Jack sighed, gesturing at me, "Let's go." I sniffled roughly, climbing to my feet immediately. I knew better than to hesitate. Hesitating would only worsen my punishment. I was to do as I was told the moment I was told to do it. That's how it worked. That's how it always worked.

I couldn't help admiring how easily he lied. I needed a few lessons if I would get any better.

Before we could leave, however, we were both stopped in the doorway by Edward. Standing on the other side of it. I looked up at him with a quiet gasp, startled into looking up. Normally, I didn't bother when I was with Jack. Tears slipped from my eyes even as I looked up at him. He looked from Jack, back down to me.

I looked down after just a second. Suddenly very afraid of what would happen if Jack even suspected I'd made a friend. No. No, that couldn't happen.

I prayed Edward wouldn't say anything friendly to me. Or worse, mention that I'd been caught smoking. I closed my eyes briefly, biting my lip. Just to keep myself from crying more at the thought.

Please. Please, please. Don't let him say anything that would piss Jack off. Jack knew I smoked sometimes, but if he knew I was stupid enough to get caught, he'd be pissed.

"You left this behind." Edward told me, holding my bag up. I didn't know what to say. I looked up at him again, glancing to Jack briefly.

"Well?" Jack prompted me, "What do you say?"

Reaching up, I slowly took it.

"T-Thank you." I mumbled, pulling it to me and tucking it under my left arm. I looked down again as Jack squeezed me into his side. Such a false display, as he was actually hurting me. He was tense, I could feel that. He was unhappy, very much so, and I had no doubts about what would happen once we were at home. Maybe this time, I wouldn't wake up.

I found myself actually hoping.

"She's very forgetful." Jack spoke firmly to Edward, "Thank you for bringing it for her." With that, he pulled me along, around Edward and his suddenly distrusting gaze. I felt it following us up the hall, and before we left the building, I looked back. Meeting his eyes one last time.

That last moment, that last glance back at him was all it took.

It suddenly clicked, my memories of the dream I had the night before. As vague and as dim as they were, almost like they were afraid of the present, I realized with a sharp drop of my heart that I knew Edward. I'd dreamed about him. About Alice, and even tense Jasper. Even the other two, even if I'd never officially met them yet.

I'd seen them before, but nowhere before today.

I didn't remember anything else about what I'd dreamed, but I knew him. I knew Jasper, and I knew Alice. That was where I'd recognized them from. That moment, that instant realization seemed to make time slow down for me. My thoughts rushing through my mind faster than I was used to.

My mind struggled, fought hard to remove the fog and see what I should be able to remember, but it was nearly impossible to with Jack tugging me up the hall toward the door. Part of me understood that something had just changed, but focusing on that was hard.

I kept my eyes on Edward for as long as I could, trying to figure this out. I'd never seen him before, that was clear, but I was absolutely positive that he and the others had been in that dream I woke from just this morning.

I managed just one glimpse of Edward's eyes widening in understanding, before we were outside. Practically running across the parking lot to his truck. Jack walking quickly, dragging me along behind him when I couldn't keep up.

As if instinct, those thoughts and that realization moved quickly to the back of my mind. Carefully stashed away for later. I had more pressing issues to focus on at the moment. Like what would happen when we got home.

I managed to climb into the truck on my own, thankfully, sniffling as I closed the door behind myself. Jack didn't have to grab my shirt and pull me up.

"Get in the back." He told me once he was in, and for once, he didn't yell at me. He didn't even seem too mad. Just tense.

Despite that, I got moving. Climbing over the center console, and landing in the back bench seat of his truck. Stepping on a few wrappers and empty cigarette packs as I did so.

As soon as I was on the seat, he started the truck, moving before I was even really settled. Glancing out the window, I noticed Edward now stood in the doorway, watching us leave. The fact that I'd dreamed about him confused me. Why would I dream about him or Alice when I'd never met them before today?

It had definitely been him, though. I was sure of it. Edward or Alice weren't the type of people easily confused with someone else.

I wished I could thank him. Even if I didn't die today, I doubted deeply that I'd ever get the chance to see him again. Or Alice. I'd remember them, though. I had no clue if I'd ever get the answers to my questions, but I wouldn't forget them. For showing me the kindness they really didn't have to.

The moment we stopped in front of the house, I knew the routine. I knew things had just slid from calm tension to survival. We were out of public now. This was where things usually got interesting.

Climbing from the truck as quickly as I could, I slammed the door shut, and I ran. Over the overgrown yard. I listened to Jack shut his door, and I knew I'd better move faster.

I jogged up the steps to the small porch. On the way up the steps, I heard him directly behind me. Throwing open the door, I didn't even manage two running steps toward my room before the door slammed shut behind us as he lifted me off my feet with one arm. His other hand balling in my hair and yanking my head back. I cried out a sob, the pain resounding loudly through me.

Both my welts, and my head protesting agonizingly, despite the fact that he was being gentle.

"What have I told you about running?" He growled into my ear, "Especially from me?"

"I'm sorry." I instantly cried, "It won't- Ow! It won't happen again."

"How'd the field trip go?" I knew what he was really asking. "Why was I called?"

"It went good." I answered immediately, "I was good."

"Why don't I believe you?" He asked quietly. He squeezed me tighter, until I gave a coughing cry, sobs shaking me.

"Some little bitch in my class made fun of mom." I explained tearfully, "Instead of hitting her, I left." He didn't reply right away, "Because I knew that would just cause more problems. I didn't mean to have you called. I swear."

I waited with bated breath, waiting for what he'd decide to do.

"Jack," I finally had to say, "It's hard to breathe." He chuckled, and for a moment, I thought I'd just made it worse, but when he let me down onto my feet, I stumbled a bit.

"Go to your room." He told me, and I obeyed. Not running, like I wanted to, but forcing myself to move slowly. With that, we'd gone back into the calm tension. I knew it wouldn't last, however, and at any second, it could turn back into survival. For now, I'd escaped.

I didn't have many clothes, but I needed to wash the clothes I'd worn on Thursday before tomorrow, and I didn't want to ruin the clothes I wore today with the inevitable fight later, so I took them off. Pulling on the one thin pajama tank-top I did have. It was thin, very thin and bloodstained, but it was something.

I'd given up wearing pajama pants, because they always tore and I ruined them more than I saved them. Though I longed for more coverage, especially on the colder days, I hardly ever got anything new to wear, so I had to protect what clothes I did have.

Around the house, things were both harder, and easier than at school.

Around the house, I didn't have to bother hiding the bruises. The only people that would ever see them were me or Jack, making it easier on me. My mom was never awake or somewhat sober long enough to give a shit, so neither of us worried about that, and nobody ever came around to wonder why there was a half-naked kid running around the house. Out here, nobody ever bothered us. It was just us, so why bother hiding anything he'd already seen or known about?

Things were harder by the fact that at any second, I could get more. I never knew when he'd get the urge to beat something. For whatever reason. It was constant tension, even if it was okay for the minute. Constant watching what I did, constant watching what I said. Like waiting for a bomb to explode, or a trap to spring, and never knowing when either one would happen.

I'd gotten used to the constant danger I was in, but I had a feeling it was effecting me more than I thought. It was a natural reaction, an instinct that made my heart pound harder just by being in the same house with Jack. Each movement more careful, hardly breathing in case he found me breathing as offensive.

During the day, it was easier, but I could feel it. Knowing the storm was brewing, but helpless to prevent it. Something I would do or say would piss him off, and I'd be right back on the floor. Crying my eyes out as pain rolled through me. Exactly like the night before.

That was how it always was. Sometimes, when the bruising got too bad, he'd leave me alone for a few days. It was never bad enough to avoid the slap upside the head, or man-handling. The gripping, shoving or throwing, but it was enough to avoid the belt. Or rope, or whatever else he chose to use on me. Hurt just as much, if not more, but did less damage than his boots or fists.

I doubted I was hurt enough for him to leave me alone, but I didn't bother hoping either.

After washing my clothing selection in the bathtub, and hanging them up to dry stiffly over the shower curtain rod before the morning, my next task would have been homework if I had any. Since I didn't have any, my next choice was cleaning up the house.

I wandered through the living room and the kitchen, picking up bottles and throwing them into a bag. Empty cigarette packs, and empty fast food boxes and paper bags that Jack decided looked best on the floor went into another bag. It was far easier to sort this stuff now instead of later. If I didn't pick these things up, it stayed. And I usually got into trouble for it.

I didn't mind picking stuff up. That was the easiest job in the world to me. Just wander around, and whatever's trash goes in the bag. I was pretty good at keeping up with it, but sometimes when moving too much hurt, I'd skip a day or two. I'd had to skip the day yesterday, which is why it took me the few minutes it did today.

I'd perfected the skill of picking wrappers and stuff up with my toes, just to avoid bending over or leaning down to pick something up. It still hurt, but not as much as bending over would. I learned quickly and built my world around what would hurt less. From the time I was little, a certain amount pain had always been a part of my life. There was no escaping it, so I adapted to live with it.

Since I was doing as I should be, Jack stayed in the bedroom. Probably resting since he had the rest of the day off. Gaining energy for later, when he'd take all the money he lost from those hours he could be working from my hide. After I got done with this, I'd be doing the same. I never got much sleep at night. This calm before the storm was the best time to snooze.

Looking over, I noticed my mom still laying right there. Right on the couch where I'd left her. My heart broke at just the sight.

"Mom, wake up." I called, "Go to bed already. Jesus." I wandered over, laying the bag of trash on the floor. She didn't budge, so I grabbed her wrist and tugged. She only woke a little. Enough to fight from my grip and lay back down.

"Mom." I called again, gaining no response other than her snoring starting back up thirty seconds later. Mother of the year, for sure.

"Mom!" I called louder, almost screaming the word, "Get up!" I was getting fed up. Fast.

I finally gave up, shaking my head and beginning to cry. I knew if she even did get up, she'd hurt herself trying to get to the bedroom anyway. I allowed myself to cry for thirty seconds more before choosing to just keep moving.

I gathered the fourteen empty bottles around the coffee table, the clanking sound in the bag loud as I tossed them in.

I sighed and wandered into my bedroom once the bag of paper trash was full and tied. There was a reason Jack gave me this room. Outside my bedroom window, was a small dog run. An almost rectangular covered cage directly against the outside wall, which had a locked door on it. Since we didn't own a dog, there was one use for it that Jack saw. Inside that dog run, nearly up to the glass of my bedroom window, was a pile of trash waiting to be burned.

That's where it stayed, since there was never any trash pick-up out this way, so it was up to me to get rid of it somehow.

The glass bottles, of course, didn't burn, but everything else did, so that went into its own separate bag. I'd learned long ago that it was faster to separate them before they were tossed outside, and bag them up for Jack to take into town. He never beat me for the bags of glass bottles I'd drop into the back of his truck. They'd just be gone when I came back with another bag another day. An unspoken sort of deal.

I hadn't burned in awhile, not feeling up to it, but if I didn't soon, I'd regret it later. Not today, however, and I tossed the bag of paper trash out the window. Watching it land on the pile, and I closed my window again. It would be difficult to escape when an attempt at climbing out the window would land me waist deep in old trash.

In the adjoining bedroom, however, that window was unblocked. So if I ever were tempted to escape, I'd just use that room instead of my own. I hadn't done it yet, though. Freedom wasn't an issue. If I wanted it that badly, and if I knew I could get away with it, I just wouldn't come home from school. Jack trusted me, however. He knew I wasn't stupid, and I'd be back. Just like I always was. Just like I was trained to as a small child.

Once my window was closed, I sighed. Crawling over the metal bars of the footboard and laid down on my bed. Curling into my caseless pillow, on the bare mattress. Hating my life, and everyone in it as I closed my eyes.

As I laid there, I hesitantly thought back to the mystery of before.

Why would I dream about the five of them if I'd never seen them before? Dreams, I knew, were just things you experienced thrown together into movies played while you slept. That's it. This was different. I had never seen them before. I'd never met them, or even heard their names. Yet, I felt like I did know them. I didn't know what the dream was, as I couldn't remember events, but they were there. All of them.

My conscious mind told me this was impossible. The part of me living now, in this hell hole, reminded me that this was real. However, another part of me, insisted I wasn't supposed to be here. That this was the fake thing, and I wasn't meant to be here.

I questioned my sanity, and yawned. Knowing full well that until I figured this out, I would wonder about it.

I never cried when I had moments to myself like this. Despite how I felt myself wanting to, I always held it back. Unless I was away from home, I never allowed it because at any moment, Jack could really give me a reason to cry. I'd save my crying for when I really needed to.

I was surprised by how tired I was. I must not have been sleeping very well the night before, because I fell right to sleep.

I didn't hear from Jack until much later in the afternoon. Passed evening, and closer to night. The way he called my name now told me that he was upset about something, but if I didn't go to him, I'd be in worse trouble.

I closed my eyes, trying my best to steel myself. Whatever it was, guaranteed he'd find something I'd done. Some reason, some lesson he had to teach me or remind me about.

My day was far from over.

He stood there in the living room, beside the coffee table as I came to stand in front of him. Feeling very vulnerable in my limited clothing. My mom still laid right there on the couch, but I could see she was waking up enough to move to the bedroom. Still asleep, but no longer unconscious.

I waited on trembling knees as he took a deep breath. Obviously trying to calm down.

"Why the fuck," His tone scared me, "Was I just called by someone asking to speak to you?" His tone was more pissed than it had been in a long while. My body tensed, waiting for the signal to run.

"I-I-"

"I thought I made it specifically clear _never_ to talk to anyone." He interrupted, "I did, didn't I?"

"W-Who was it?" He was quiet. His eyes narrowed a bit. I could sense it. I'd just made a very stupid mistake, and I'd pushed my luck. My luck had just come to an end.

"It doesn't fucking matter who the hell it was." He finally growled, "I told you what would happen if anyone knew you were alive enough to bother me with stupid shit like this."

"I didn't tell anyone anything." I moved a step back.

"Then why the fuck would they call?" He demanded harshly, and I looked down.

"I really don't know." I replied quietly, shaking my head, "I swear, I didn't say a word."

"Don't fucking lie to me."

"I'm not lying." I insisted, "I swear. I didn't say anything."

Things suddenly snapped.

He got moving, straight for me, and as a repeat of the night before, I spun with a squeak and raced away. He followed me with a loud growl of anger, his eyes on me. Watching as I slammed through my bedroom door and shoved it shut behind me.

I'd effectively just trapped myself. Why couldn't I learn?

I slammed by back against the door, bracing my feet on the rough carpet. Hoping to just be strong enough to hold it shut. Squeezing my eyes shut, I whimpered. Waiting for it.

I yelped as he pushed it open easily and I jumped forward.

He stormed in and I ducked around him. My heart pounding quickly, darting passed him back out of the room. I felt his quick swipes for me, which only fueled me into nearly tripping in my haste. I was terrified, and for once, felt none of the new bruises.

I raced from the room, through the kitchen. My goal was the back door, but I didn't make it that far. His arm circled me, and he yanked me to a stop. Lifting me with one arm easily, much like he had before. I grunted, losing my breath as he whipped me around. Dragging me back through the kitchen, straight back toward my room. All while speaking.

"I warned you." He told me in a loud, firm voice, "I warned you. How many times have I told you how much I hate it when you run from me?"

I kicked free in the short hallway outside my room, darting away from him as he attempted to adjust his hold. I fell as he released me, but literally clawed my way back to my feet and I ran.

He followed quickly. I flew across the darkening living room, and I scrambled this time for the front door. The pure terror pulsing through me with each quick pound of my heart. I had just touched the doorknob when he lifted me again. My cries only got louder now. An urgent, breathless cry of denial clawing up my throat.

He held me easily, returning the both of us to my room. With his free hand, he slammed my bedroom door closed.

"How many times do I have to prove how stupid it is to fight?" Jack asked, a quiet chuckle in his voice. He'd learned long ago that speaking quietly to me was just as effective at scaring me as shouting was. Took a lot less effort, for just as much fear. If not even more.

I hated it when he talked soft to me, but I quickly realized that he was who I learned this tone from. The same tone I'd used against Rachel.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed out breathlessly, unable to keep my eyes open. I was too afraid, too scared to move now.

"Not yet you aren't." He sighed sadly, "Not yet."

"No, I'm sorry." I repeated, "I'm really sorry. Really, really sorry."

"Are you correcting me now?" My heart dropped, and I gasped for breath. Worn out from my fight, he seemed to sense it.

"No." I replied immediately, "No. I'm not."

A beating wouldn't do this time.

The rain poured down hard that night. Pouring down roughly in buckets. The sound of it hitting the house was the only thing I let myself concentrate on. Another sense of numbness, the same one I felt during the dream, wrapped me up in itself, and refused to let go. That was nothing new.

I kept my head turned, my fists clenched at my sides. Gritting my teeth but staying silent. Trying my hardest not to throw up, no matter how much I wanted to. The emotions swirling in my stomach made it hard not to, but I always managed to hold it.

The light outside gone, I laid there in the dark with him for a few minutes. I hated, absolutely hated the dark. Everytime he decided this punishment instead of beating me, it always happened at night. In the dark. I couldn't see him, and he probably couldn't see me.

I wasn't allowed a lamp or light in my room. None whatsoever, so when it got dark, was when I knew to fear. The kind of dark that left nothing visible. The suffocating darkness that made all the other senses work twice as hard.

Which was why I had a petrifying fear of the dark.

I was terrified of the dark, but not for reasons other kids had. Jack knew this, and for that reason, refused to let me have any sort of light in my room. No lamps, no candles or anything that would illuminate the room.

Aside from his breathing, it was silent in the room now. I didn't speak, I didn't even move. I was always petrified afterwards, so tonight was nothing new. How I was still fighting, I didn't know. I let my eyes close.

In many ways, I both preferred this punishment, and hated it more than being beaten. Usually, he used restraint with this one, and it didn't hurt near as badly as being beaten repeatedly. There were no marks left behind, no bruises I had to hide. No real lasting physical pain.

But this one scared me more than being beaten. Even when I thought I didn't pay any attention to what he was doing, there was always some part of my mind intently focused on it. I couldn't help that.

The only reason he did this to me at all, was because he could and because he knew it hurt me a lot more than physically. He knew I was scared that any moment, he could always hurt me more. Especially on the nights he made me participate. Just the thought made my stomach turn painfully, panic squeezing my throat closed.

Jack sighed, sitting upright beside me. Tears trailed silently from behind my closed eyes, deeply regretting each breath I had to take in. Already telling myself.

Trusting anyone was stupid.

My disappointment only fueled by the pain, the physical pain I was in, I was determined. I would never let myself feel this disappointment again. I told myself this every time. It had nothing to do with anyone else, only myself. I was only reenforcing my distrust of people, and I knew that, but being hurt this much taught me a lesson. Every time.

Nobody was good. Nobody was okay. Nobody was safe. Everyone was out to hurt me, and I wouldn't let myself be fooled into thinking otherwise. It was stupid.

When I made no move, continuing to lay there in the position he left me in, he chuckled behind me. He continued to sit and wait. I knew what he was waiting for, and soon, he got it.

The sobs started slow, quiet. Picking up in emotion, and soon, they were agonized. Choking cries, the ones that steals my breath. The kind that could only come from being scarred in more than one place at a time. My fear only fueled it, making me tremble where I laid.

This was the way it was every night. Every time the sun set, darkening the room, it turned out like this. Always ending the night with my cries in the dark.

He stayed, waiting for me to move, and eventually, I did. I finally allowed myself to move just enough to roll over. I rolled over onto my left side, facing the wall. My back to him, and I continued to cry.

He leaned over. I tried to scoot over, hugging the edge of the mattress against the cold wall. Trying to get away from him. Squeezing my eyes shut, clenching my teeth and cringing, inches from the wall as I felt him sigh into my hair, kissing the back of my head. Misery in my audible sob.

Breathing in, he sighed contentedly. Allowing a quiet chuckle loose in his sigh. He knew I hated him. He knew I hated everything he did, and that made him happy. He knew I hated everything he did, which was the only reason why he did them at all. I was so sure that if I stopped reacting to it, he'd stop doing it, but I couldn't stop myself from reacting. No matter how hard I tried. It would always bother me.

The last I heard of him that night was my bedroom door closing.

I appreciated this time I had after he left. This time I had alone. I always had. He was finally tired, so chances were he would leave me alone for the rest of the night. It was times like now that I could cry. Curse, bawl, beg. Hate myself in peace. Hate how small I was, how weak I was compared to him. I hated everything during this time.

I laid there, clinging to the edge of the mattress against the wall, sobbing quietly. That was the best I could do, was cry. I didn't know what else to do. My head ached, thanks to the emotion and the starvation. My stomach was in knots, pain and hunger turning it against itself. My heart broken, torn in more spots than one.

I was hungry, had very little energy, but somehow, I found myself able to think.

Maybe tonight, I would dream again. Maybe I wouldn't have to be confused for long. Maybe tonight, I wouldn't wake up. Maybe tonight, I'd die as I slept. I cried harder as I thought about that.

Maybe I wouldn't have to hurt anymore.

My thoughts drifted. Someone had called, asking about me. I sniffled quietly, thinking about that instead of the pain, and I found it easier to take a breath, and calm down. Despite how that phone call had gotten me into trouble, I couldn't help being surprised by it.

Who had it been? The only people I could think of, were Mr. Daniels or Edward. Those were the only two who saw how upset I'd been. Mr. Daniels had spoken to Jack on our way out, and he'd never bothered to call before, so it probably wasn't him. It didn't make sense to me, though, why Edward would have been the one to call. I was nothing. Why would he bother to worry about me?

I fell asleep to those thoughts. Curled into a tiny ball on my bare mattress. One bare leg tangled in the thin, scratchy blanket that I knew I'd eventually get cold enough to cover myself with. Keeping myself as protected as I could. Tears drying on my cold cheeks.

I woke stiffly the next morning, sighing heavily as I realized I hadn't dreamed of them again. My morning started all over again, including the very painful shower. It was easier to move, however, as most of the bruises and welts had just about finished forming. I had to at least be thankful he hadn't decided to renew them, which made me revisit the thought I'd had earlier the night before. I both hated that punishment, and preferred it. I could move the next day, even if I didn't want to.

Regardless, I chose a baggy, long-sleeved shirt. I didn't know what I'd do about warmth, but that wasn't Jack's problem. My one other pair of jeans was worse off than the ones I wore the day before.

Jack had already left for work, so I knew I had maybe half an hour to breathe before I had to leave. Mom hadn't come out of the bedroom yet, so I sat in the living room alone. Sitting in the silence, smoking a cigarette before I had to start walking. I shook today, weaker now. I absentmindedly watched the cigarette smoke curl lazily toward the ceiling, I stared off into space. My thoughts a jumbled, tangled mess.

I was disappointed that I hadn't dreamed about them the night before, but maybe it was for the best. Why bother trying to remember anything when I'd never see them again? Why bother to worry about whatever I remembered about the dream? Sure, it was nice to think about the safety I remembered, but that's all it was. It was only a dream. Some wishful thoughts my mind decided I needed to see to make life worth existing through for a few more days.

And it could easily have been a coincidence. Maybe those in the dream just reminded me of Edward and Alice. With as scarred as my mind was, it wouldn't surprise me that I'd make an instant attachment to anyone who looked at me twice. Clinging to them like a desperately lost puppy.

It was pathetic.

Naturally, I was confused at the knock at the door. It was quiet, almost hesitant, and it confused me. Deeply. I sighed quietly as I set my cigarette in the ashtray in front of me, fully intending to come back to it. Standing, I slowly rounded the small love-seat, and headed for the door. I really wasn't sure if I should open it or not.

We never had visitors. Nobody ever voluntarily came here. The last time anyone had come knocking at the door, was two years ago, and I had to hide in my room for that. I didn't even know who it had been.

I jumped at another knock, reaching out slowly and pulling the door open. Who stood there surprised me even more.

"Alice?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Good morning." She smiled in return, "I was wondering if you'd like a ride to school." I glanced behind her, spotting a very unfamiliar black car sitting in the driveway, "My dad's giving me a ride, and I thought we'd take a side trip."

"Oh." I mumbled, "That's a pretty big side tri- Wait." I cut myself off, "Your dad?"

"He's very nice." She assured me, smiling confidently even as my smile had faded.

"I-I.." I was trying to come up with an excuse, "I really don't know." I distrusted anyone with the title of 'dad'. I wasn't sure if I wanted to test that distrust. I didn't want to be proven right.

"Come on." She murmured, "It's just up the road, right?"

She had a point there. A few minutes, at most, didn't seem so bad to me. I liked Alice, and didn't mind going anywhere with her. Just because her dad was with her didn't make me like her any less, but it was hard to just trust her word. Especially after the night before. It was stupid to go around hating anyone male, but I couldn't help it.

I sighed, eventually nodding.

"Sure." I mumbled, "Just let me get my shoes on."

**A/N: Another chapter down. A little more added to.  
>Same point about the reviewers as chapter two. :)<strong>  
><strong>I'll be pretty busy until sometime about mid next week, so please bear with me. I'm hoping to have another update around that time. :)<strong>  
><strong>Until four, my friends! <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

To my surprise, she didn't hesitate when I stepped back. She followed me inside, looking around. I blushed a little at how messy the place must have seemed to her. Before I could apologize for the state of the place, she spoke up.

"Are you here by yourself?" She asked curiously. Her tone light, conversational.

"Not really." I replied, "My mom is here. She just hasn't felt very good the last couple of.. Well, years." I sat down with a calming sigh, pulling on my shoes sitting in front of me. She gave me a look, and continued to look around, "And Jack is at work."

"Jack is..?"

"My stepdad." I mumbled, unable to keep the sound of bitterness from my voice. I sniffled as I tied my shoes. Concentrating on that instead of the embarrassment of Alice having to stand in a house not fit for someone like her. I spoke again, "Besides, I don't think it'd be too bad if I was here alone. I practically am anyway."

"I was just wondering." She laughed a little, easing me slightly.

I sighed, "Nah. It's not me being alone you have to worry about." It was when Jack was home that my life was hell. With him gone, I didn't care so much.

She didn't reply to that, watching me. In front of me, on the coffee table, the cigarette still burned. Catching my attention with its wispy smoke, curling toward the ceiling. I couldn't just leave it like I wanted to. Nervously, I looked up at Alice. Hoping she didn't tell Edward about it. I looked down briefly before picking it up, and putting it out.

I stood up, shouldering my mostly empty backpack. Other than a few old graded test papers, and one beat up old notebook with most of the pages missing, I didn't have much in it.

"Just one second." I mumbled, heading for the kitchen. Pulling open the refrigerator, void of anything but beer, it was a sight I was used to. I reached in and grabbed one, doing a quick count of how many were left.

I didn't look, but I felt Alice's eyes following me as I came back through the living room, a single brown glass bottle in my hand. I slowly stepped into the master bedroom. Walking around the king sized bed against the nearest wall, and setting the bottle on the table beside where my mom laid. She was half awake, half asleep it looked like. Just waking up enough for another beer.

"I'm leaving now, mom." I told her quietly, knowing not to be loud, "There are eight more in the fridge. I'll tell Jack you're getting low."

"Thanks, baby." She mumbled, and I pursed my lips. Not quite a smile, but a half-assed depressing attempt at one. The truth was, I might not have liked her much, but it did hurt me to see her like this.

"Do you need anything else before I go?" I asked, and she sighed. I didn't miss the dark circles under her eyes or how pale her skin was. I knew I was watching her die, but there wasn't anything I could do to change her decisions. If I refused to bring her any more, she'd just get them herself. Possibly hurting herself in the process, and then Jack would find out. He'd find out, and beat me for being inconsiderate.

It made me sad to think she'd rather slowly kill herself than stay sober for an hour. Like she couldn't even stand the sight of me.

"Anything to eat?" She asked sleepily, and I sighed. Shaking my head. At least she was talking to me now. I wondered how long that'd last.

"There isn't anything to eat here." I replied, the same answer I'd given her a hundred times before, "There never is. I can.." I sighed, shrugging a little, "I don't know. Bring you the phone, so you can call Jack? He'll bring you something." He wouldn't bring shit if I asked for it, and he'd probably beat me for asking. Any excuse he could find to begin his favorite sport.

"This is fine, baby." She mumbled, pushing herself up slightly. Just enough to open the bottle. I hated the sound of the cap coming off. It irritated me to no end. Grated on my nerves like broken glass. Probably leaving me figuratively bleeding a little more each time.

"Okay." I sighed, "I have to go now, mom." I knew better than to try to talk her out of drinking instead of eating. That was what she did. That was all she did. Only Jack could force her to eat when she went too long. She listened to him, but most of the time, she thought eating took too much awake time to bother. I never tried to force her to eat. I just knew it'd piss me off in the end, so I didn't try.

"Yeah." She mumbled after a few heavy drinks from the bottle.

"Don't drink too much today, mom." I told her, fixing her blanket a little, "I mean it."

"I won't." Was her usual reply, "I promise." Right.

With that, I sighed and looked down.

I turned without waiting for her to make excuses, or promise anything else. I glanced back, watching her reach out and place the now half gone bottle of beer back on the table. Laying back down heavily. Shaking my head as I stepped back around the bed, headed for the door.

I looked down, closing my eyes. Fighting back the emotion yet again. It never did me any good to cry about her. Although I couldn't help it sometimes. There was so much I wanted to blame her for, and I actually did blame her, but she didn't even know it. She didn't even care. She had to know how much I needed her, but she chose never to see it.

Opening my eyes, and looking forward again, I jumped a little at Alice standing there in the doorway, looking at the scene with an unexplainable expression. I forced a tiny, sad smile before continuing on. Passing her. Closing the bedroom door behind myself, I sighed again.

She didn't say anything about what she'd just seen. Much to my intense relief, but I had to say one thing.

"That's my mom." I murmured, glancing up at her before looking back down.

I headed for the door. I chose not to try to explain, either. I wasn't mad at her for being curious and looking in. The truth was, I was embarrassed. I was humiliated at the way my mom was, and embarrassed for the fact that Alice had to see that, but I didn't have a chance to dwell on that for too long.

I never locked the front door when I left the house, and today was no different. If anyone were to come by to try to rob the place, they could have whatever they wanted. The house was a shithole anyway with nothing of any real value in it. Jack himself said that, and I didn't disagree.

Someone _might_ get twenty bucks from the TV at a pawn shop. If they looked hard enough for a place that'd take the old piece of crap, and I wouldn't miss it. I never watched it. Other than that, they'd be hardpressed to find anything worth selling. I just wanted to be here if someone did break in, so I could tell them to take the bitch in the bedroom too.

Back to the issue at hand, I was scared, and I was sure it showed as I crossed the soggy, overgrown yard with Alice to the shiny black car sitting running in the driveway. I could almost see myself with how smooth the paint was. I'd never seen anything like it. The tint on the windows was so dark, it was hard to see anything at all inside it.

I hesitated, looking up at Alice in my surprise as she pulled open the front passenger door for me.

I thought I'd get the back. The back seat would have been acceptable. Further away from her dad, I'd counted on that safety. Sitting up front with him was not only more difficult when it came to dropping me off, but to me, it seemed borderline cruel. Testing my nerves in a way I wasn't used to.

"It's okay." She said, giving me a confident smile again. I didn't protest out loud, knowing what that usually got me. So I took a breath, and slowly climbed in. Already trembling. I noticed him sitting there, out of the corner of my eye, and I chose to sit as far away on the seat as I could.

I jumped, startled at the door closing quietly beside me. My heart had to have been beating a million miles a minute as I settled in the seat. Squeezing my eyes shut in an attempt to steel myself. I whimpered almost silently as I listened to the back passenger door opening.

I did my best, but the truth was, I was scared. I couldn't help that.

Alice quickly climbed into the back seat, and I looked back at her. Though I was thankful she seemed to hurry getting into the car as well, she seemed so far away back there. Wondering if there was some reason for this arrangement, I watched her for a moment.

I kept my eyes down once I turned forward, nervously biting my lip.

"Leandra," Alice said, "This is Carlisle. My dad." I hardly glanced to him sitting there, unable to look for very long. Never meeting his eyes.

"N-Nice to meet you." I mumbled quietly, hating the tremble in my tone. Great, I thought. Now he knew I was afraid. I felt so stupid, and even more nervous at the same time. Would that have offended him? What if he hated me now?

"You as well." Carlisle's quiet voice seemed too soft to be afraid of. Kind, but also slightly concerned. There was no mistaking that voice. Nobody else in the world could have made their voice sound like his did.

That's what grabbed my attention, and my cooperation. Hearing that had me glancing up again. This time, I actually looked. In one short glance, I saw him.

Just like with Alice, and with Edward, part of me recognized him. My nervous expression slowly eased, and curiosity took its place. Something about this man seemed so familiar, like I'd met him before. Had I dreamed about him too? Meeting him for the first time, it was very hard to tell.

Alice watched silently from the back, smiling a little. A little smug. It seemed odd, but I didn't ask as I glanced to her.

After a moment or two, I forced myself to look away from him. I looked to Alice one more time, before looking back down. I didn't want to sound crazy. So I tried not to let on that I knew him too. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him glance to Alice as well.

I kept my eyes out the window as we got moving, my thoughts already racing. I sat in a very insecure posture, one arm hugging my desperately empty stomach. The other rested on the armrest on the door, quietly nibbling on my thumbnail. A seemingly permanent crease in my brow as I struggled to make some sense of this.

This was hard, but it wasn't near as hard as I thought it would be.

The trip was relatively short. A few minutes, like I had known it'd be, and the entire trip was spent in silence. I found it a little weird that I didn't have to tell him anything about where the school was.

He knew right where to turn, and right where the drop-off area was. The drop-off area was a little hard to find for those that hadn't been here before, since some drunk driver took out the sign the year before. They never bothered to replace it.

I shook that off, though. He probably lived in this area before.

I sat there for a moment, sighing quietly as we arrived. I glanced back over at Carlisle, to see him glance to me.

"Thank you." I murmured, "For giving me a ride."

"You're quite welcome, Leandra." He replied, and hearing his voice again only intensified the familiar feeling. It was the weirdest feeling to me, and I had to look at him again. Something about him told me I was alright. I was okay. It could have been the sense of knowing him, or it could have been just the way he was. I couldn't tell, but I definitely didn't mind it.

It took me a moment to realize that the feeling I felt was safety. The same, very same feeling of safety I'd had during the dream, and one of the only things I recalled clearly. I wanted to figure this out. Suddenly very deeply curious.

After just a few seconds to wonder about that, I forced myself to climb out of the car. Alice climbed out as well, smiling.

"See?" She said, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Not at all." I mumbled, shocked. She gave me a quick, gentle hug, which I returned this time.

"Here." I looked up as she stepped away. Surprised as she shed her jacket, and held it out to me. My thoughts instantly raced. Surprised yet again at the gesture, just as much as I had been the day before. I nearly moved away from it, almost afraid of the fabric.

"I-I can't.." I shook my head a little. If I got caught wearing that, I'd be so screwed. Jack would immediately think I stole it, and he'd be so mad.

"It's okay." She said, "Take it. It's pretty cold out today."

"R-Really.." I murmured, "I can't. It's yours."

"I'll get it back from you when we pick you up this afternoon." She assured me. Well, that didn't seem so bad. With a solution, I didn't feel so bad.

"I'll see you again?" I asked, hesitantly hopeful.

"This guarantees it." She smiled, gesturing to the jacket. That made up my mind, and I reached up, taking it from her.

"Thank you." I finally said, pulling it on.

It was big on me, but that was easily fixed by rolling the sleeves a few times. She didn't even seem to mind letting me borrow her jacket. Pulling my hair out of it, and fixing it gently, all with a small smile on her face. I definitely wasn't used to being treated so kindly. Looking up at her the whole time.

I wasn't used to this. I was used to being someone's problem. She acted like this wasn't an inconvenience in the slightest. Like I wasn't worthless or just something to step around. She treated me like something worth talking to, which confused the living hell out of me.

She nodded, giving me another hug. With that, I turned, slowly heading toward the building. I looked back at her, still quite confused. I wished I knew why I'd dream about her, but so far, I didn't mind the fact that I had.

True to her word, she and Carlisle were there once school let out. I couldn't help feeling surprised again. I'd denied myself the chance to hope all day, knowing I'd just disappoint myself when they weren't here, but they were here.

I made my way toward the car I scanned the parking lot for, smiling a little as I did so.

"Who did you steal that from, Leandra?" I cringed at Rachel's voice behind me before I could reach the car, "You should probably give it back, since it costs more than your house."

Thankfully, that was all she said to me as she passed me. The two friends she had with her giggled obnoxiously. I watched after her, deciding not to reply.

Why couldn't Rachel just leave me alone? Interestingly enough, she didn't say a word about my mom. Anything else was fine to poke at, but she chose not to mention her. Probably for her own safety.

Looking to the car again, I noticed Alice had climbed from the car during my distraction.

"I've avoided her as much as I could all day." I mumbled as I reached her, "She must have taken all day to come up with that one." I looked back at where Rachel was bidding her friends goodbye for the day.

"I could talk to her for you." Alice offered, and I shook my head a little.

"No thanks. You'd be better off talking to a gorilla at the zoo." I replied, "It would listen better." She smiled, finding that amusing. I sighed, looking back up at her as I removed the jacket. Hating to do so because of how warm it was, but I handed it back to her.

"I took good care of it." I assured her, "Don't worry."

"I'm not worried." She smiled a little.

"Can you not take me all the way to the house?" I asked, hesitating a little, "Just.. Drop me where no one can see?"

"Why not?" She asked, frowning a little in confusion.

"Because.." I looked down, "Jack will be there. Tuesdays and Wednesdays he gets off work early."

"And he wouldn't approve of you getting a ride home?" Alice asked, and I looked down.

"Uh.." I murmured, "Well, no. Not really. I usually walk everyday." She sighed, looking into the car at Carlisle.

I was less hesitant to accept the front passenger seat this time. I wasn't nearly as nervous as I had been before, but I still avoided looking at him. I honestly didn't know what to think, and that made me nervous.

However, before we'd even left the parking lot, I was asked yet another hard question.

"Leandra, is Jack the reason you don't like to talk about home?" I was suddenly very fascinated with a wrinkle in my jeans. Biting my lip and smoothing out the wrinkle. She waited, "Leandra?"

I didn't know what to say to that. If I said no, then she'd continue asking. Maybe ask if my mom was the reason. If I said yes, then she'd ask why.

"Yes." I finally answered quietly, "I hate him."

I waited for her to continue on that path of questioning. To my surprise, however, she only nodded. Not asking why, not inquiring any further. With my nerves eased by that, I sighed.

"I hope I didn't get you into any trouble yesterday." I looked back at her, "I called yesterday, hoping to talk to you." So it had been her to call. I hadn't even considered that.

"Jack told me someone called, but I didn't know who it was." I admitted. That didn't seem so bad to admit, but just considering what punishment I got for it had me looking down, biting my lip again. I hated thinking about that.

"Edward said you were pretty upset when you left the school." Alice just kept going.

"I was." I allowed quietly, "I didn't want to cry in front of Rachel, so I left the class. The teacher called Jack to take me home."

"He seemed pretty irritated when I called." She prompted, leaning forward. Why was she still so interested in Jack? As far as I was concerned, he was the least fascinating person on the planet. Someone best avoided.

"That's just how Jack is." I murmured, looking out the window, "He's always that way. You'd have to meet him to get it."

I was desperate to change the subject. I needed to talk about something else besides how irritated Jack always was. I didn't want Alice to think I was easy to get answers from. That would be the opposite of helpful.

"Why did you call?" I asked, curious, "Nobody ever worries about me."

"I wanted to make sure you were okay." She answered. She smiled a little, before it faded, "Are you?"

I bit back what I really wanted to say. Avoiding answering. The way she asked that told me she really wanted to know the answer to that. I didn't know how to answer her honestly.

"How did you know where I lived?" I asked instead, "Or the number to call?"

She smiled sheepishly, "Edward's pretty good at getting information." The way she admitted that seemed like it happened all the time. Like it was normal to stalk someone.

"So he knows I lied." I sighed, looking down, "I'm sorry about that."

"He understands." She said, "Can't just go around telling strangers where you live, right?"

"Right." I agreed quietly, sighing again. My stomach rumbled painfully, and I absentmindedly reached up to rub it. I bit back a whimper, remembering the lunch I never got to have.

Rachel had been especially ruthless today, considering how I had to be sent home early the day before. I couldn't escape her snickering giggles during class, but I could choose whether or not to endure them during lunch. I'd rather have avoided her than have something to eat that was never enough anyway. Even if I couldn't completely get through the day without having to hear her irritating voice.

"Hungry?" Alice asked, and I looked to her.

"You heard that?"

"It wasn't hard to hear." She replied softly, and I accepted that with a sigh, "Don't you ever eat?"

"No." I mumbled, my tone suggesting I was done talking about it. I sighed, sitting back in the seat. I turned my eyes out the window again, closing my eyes for a few seconds. Hating my life.

I felt the car pull to a stop and opened my eyes again. Carlisle had stopped up the road. Not far, but far enough to stay hidden from view of the house. I didn't even have to tell him where to stop, much to my surprise and appreciation.

"Thank you." I murmured gratefully, and he gave me a small nod. I wondered if I should bother to hope that I'd ever see them again. I wanted to hope. I really did.

Reaching down, I gripped the strap of my bag with trembling hands. I stepped out, already dreading the coming few hours. I stood there for a second, busy mentally preparing myself. Trying to steel myself, but it never worked.

Alice climbed out as well, and at first, I was nervous. Looking up at her, I hoped she didn't offer the jacket again. I couldn't take it this time. Until a new worry came up.

What if she decided she wanted to walk me to the door? Glancing back in the direction of the house, I knew Jack wouldn't be able to see us where we were, but I wasn't in the clear yet.

"We'll pick you up again tomorrow." Alice offered, and I looked to her again. I couldn't help the small smile. I nodded, letting her know that was acceptable. Gratefully acceptable. It was weird, so weird allowing myself to believe her.

Already looking forward to the next day, I hesitantly returned the hug she gave me, letting her hold on longer this time. I wasn't used to hugs, or contact without pain. I normally refused to allow contact with other people, just for that reason. This was entirely new to me.

"See you in the morning." She told me, and I nodded again. Did this mean she wasn't going to walk with me?

Despite that worry, I didn't want to let go. Not to go through that small group of trees to the house. Not to go to Jack. I took a deep breath, and stepped back. This was difficult. How I already strongly preferred her and Carlisle's company over home. That wasn't the hard part. The hard part was actually moving.

A fat raindrop landing on my shoulder told me it was time to go, so I sighed heavily, giving her a forced smile.

"Thank you again." I mumbled, and she smiled.

"You're welcome." She said, "Better get used to it." She meant about the jacket. Reluctantly, I nodded.

"Bye." I murmured. She responded quietly, and I forced myself to turn, walking away.

"Oh." She called after me, and I paused to look back, "And don't worry. Everything's going to be fine." It seemed a little odd that she told me that.

"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly.

"Don't worry." She repeated, and I stayed standing there for a few seconds. What did she mean? Don't worry about what? "Everything's going to be okay."

She offered a small smile, and that reminded me to move. I still didn't quite get it, but it was nice to hear nonetheless. Still confused, I nodded slightly before I turned. Moving again for the house.

Taking a breath, I whispered, "I really hope you're right."

To my relief, she didn't follow. Even though I knew she still stood there, she didn't follow. Stumbling through the trees. Stepping over foliage and sliding a little down the tiny ridge toward the house, I eventually broke out into the yard, just a few feet from the driveway, where Jack's truck sat.

I kept my eyes down as I stepped up onto the porch. I hesitated with my hand on the doorknob. Taking a deep breath to steel myself, and pushed open the front door. To my surprise, he wasn't standing there waiting for me. He must have been in the bedroom with mom.

I laid my bag beside the couch and sighed. I had a few seconds, at least, of peace before it all started. I was going to use those seconds wisely. Crossing the room, toward my bedroom to get out of these clothes so they wouldn't get ruined later.

Alice's words to me didn't make any sense. What she said had deeply confused me, until I shook my head. Waving it off. There's no way she could possibly be telling me the truth.

She had probably just observed how tense I'd been all day. Anyone with eyes could see that. So she chose to tell me the only thing she could to try to make me feel better. She just didn't understand how badly I wanted to believe those words.

I'd just gotten out of my jeans, when Jack called for me.

"Leandra." I paused at Jack's call from the master bedroom. I sighed heavily, laying my half folded jeans on the bed, and turned. My seconds of peace were up.

I left my room, crossed the living room to the master bedroom door.

The first thing I noticed in the room, directly to the right of the open bedroom door, was the wide open closet door. That was out of place.

Jack sat on the side of the bed, seeming pretty stressed. Without me even having to do anything, which was weird. He sat there, leaned forward, his elbows rested on his knees. Looking to the closet again, I noticed a lot of the clothes were missing. Before I could look too closely, though, he spoke up.

"Bring me a beer."

Jack never overdid it. I didn't have to worry about him drinking too much. I half wished he'd drink as much as mom did, enough to make him pass out, but he never did. No. Everything he did was his own doing.

I gave him a nod, turning and leaving the room again.

Returning, I kept my eyes down as I held it out for him, jumping with a gasp as his hand snapped out and gripped my wrist. Sitting up straighter, he pulled me closer. I stumbled just a bit at the unexpected tug, but stayed upright.

It always made me nervous to come into their room anyway. I hated it. Maybe it was because it was where he always went when he wasn't terrorizing me? I didn't know. I just knew I hated this room, and tried to avoid it at all costs when he was home.

He sighed, his hand still on my wrist as he looked up at me. He didn't say anything at first. When he did, it just confused me.

"Do you know why I do what I do?" He asked, and for a moment, I wasn't sure how to answer. Did he want me to be honest? Or should I lie? "Answer me honestly."

Honestly? I had no idea why he did what he did. Did he want me to repeat what he always told me? Was this some sort of pop quiz?

"Do you?" He insisted, so I just shook my head. He smirked a little, "Do you wish I'd stop?" Again, I didn't know how to answer. Be honest, get more. Lie, possibly piss him off? I stayed quiet, briefly dropping my gaze down. I knew better than to answer that one honestly.

After a moment, he sighed again.

"Come here a minute." He tugged me around, sitting me down beside him, "Here. Open this for me." His sharp tone was him being nice. There was a huge difference between his nice sharp tone, and his pissed off sharp tone.

He let me go, reaching over as I struggled with the top to the beer bottle. Grabbing a pack of cigarettes, he shook one out, before glancing to me and shaking out another one. He knew I smoked.

I eventually had to use the fabric of my shirt to help me twist off the cap of the beer. It was hurting my hand otherwise.

He lit both cigarettes, offering one to me. I traded him the beer for the cigarette, taking it gratefully. I was surprised that he was being so nice to me, but I knew it wouldn't last.

"Sit up here." He barked, patting the bed near the headboard, "I want to talk to you." I turned over. Holding the cigarette in my lips, I flipped over and crawled painfully up to sit beside him. I hadn't sat in their bed in so long. The most I came in to do was drop off a beer or change the sheets sometimes.

I had very vague memories of coming in to sit with mom when I was younger, but those could have just been a dream. Their bed was actually pretty comfortable compared to mine. Of course, concrete would have been more comfortable than mine.

My bed was cold. The entire thing made of rusting metal, with only springs holding the mattress up. The damn thing bounced with every movement, and the springs weren't exactly silent.

I liked their bed. Theirs didn't make noise, and for the briefest of seconds, I just wanted to lay down. Just to see what it felt like. That quickly changed half a second later when I remembered Jack was beside me.

Looking down at where my right hand rested on the mattress, I realized something. The one thing I managed to focus on besides the fact that Jack was being civil to me, was that my mom wasn't there. I must have been more distracted than I thought if I didn't notice that immediately.

She wasn't laying on the other side of the bed where I'd left her this morning. That confused me, as did the still half full bottle of beer I'd brought her. Normally that would have been gone minutes later.

Maybe she was on the couch? But I didn't remember seeing her when I laid my bag down. The bathroom door was open across the room, meaning she wasn't in there. There weren't any other places she would be. Where was she?

"Do you know why I do what I do?" He asked again after a minute, taking my attention again, and I shook my head once more.

"No." I answered quietly.

"Because I can." He replied, and I looked up, "For one," He continued, reaching for the ashtray, "Your mom is in no condition to stop me, and that's her own fault. I was the one stuck raising you, and I intended to do it right. I was the one stuck with you."

I stayed quiet. This wasn't news to me. I knew this. He'd told me this before.

"Two," He continued, "You deserve it. If you would just stop fucking up, I wouldn't have to. Understand?" I nodded. This wasn't news either, "You just fuck up so damn much, I have no other choice."

"I don't mean to." I mumbled, and he looked to me.

"I know." He said, "I know you don't, but that's my job. To beat the hell out of you until you learn."

Feeling a little braver, I had to ask.

"Why do you hurt me at night?" I asked, my voice almost silent. He looked to me again, and I had to look down briefly. His gaze made me nervous.

His eyes were expressive. They were the most expressive part of his whole face. I could see everything in his eyes. When he was pissed, they hardened. Like two dark ice-blue colored stones, watching my every move with an intensity I had yet to see any other time. It was that look that made me run.

When he wasn't pissed, when he was okay, they lost that stone-like trait, and became more like pools of water. A depth to them to match, and something I'd never understand.

I briefly wondered if my eyes did things like that, or if that was just him.

His eyes this time, however, gave nothing away about how he was feeling. Which was probably what made me so nervous. I just couldn't tell.

What he did when he came in at night was something we never spoke about during the day. Never. That was an unspoken rule that we both followed. Not even when it first started, which I remembered perfectly. Not even for him to brag, or me to ask any questions. It was just something that happened. Something that kept happening, and neither one of us wanted to mention it.

I'd just mentioned it, and for a second, I worried I'd just killed his generous mood.

"Well," He said, and I was surprised for a second that he was about to answer me. He readjusted his hold on the bottle in his hands, probably thinking hard.

"I know what that does to you. I know you hate it." He eventually answered, his tone holding an almost silent tense chuckle, "I know what it does to you, every time it happens."

I looked down. I was quickly beginning to realize why I avoided mentioning it before. It reminded me. During the day, it was easier to pretend it didn't have to happen, and by refusing to mention it, I hid from it. Mentioning it now, and actually hearing him talk about it, made me feel just as sick as I felt at night. I was quickly beginning to regret asking.

He continued, "What good is beating the hell out of you if you have time to recover at night? Everything I do to you has a purpose, bitch. You don't even know yet what it's doing to you. I like the idea that every time, I ruin your life a little more."

I wasn't sure how my life could be any more ruined at that point. His answer wasn't the answer I wanted, but it was the one I half-way expected.

"But, look." He said, "I've decided to make more of an effort with you." Effort? Had he not already been putting enough effort into me?

I was confused. He seemed uncomfortable. He wasn't even looking at me as he continued, "Thursday, we're going on a trip, so be ready tomorrow to get some clothes." I nodded immediately, but even more confused. Going somewhere? Getting me clothes? What the hell was going on?

"I think all this bullshit with the school and people calling just means we need to get out of town for a little while." He grumbled, "What do you say?"

I really didn't want to go anywhere with him, but I couldn't tell him that. I would rather have stayed right where I was, but I just nodded again.

"Is mom going?" I asked quietly, looking up at him. I hoped that one question didn't piss him off, but unfortunately, it did. It was difficult to slap me from where he sat, but somehow, he managed to.

"No." He answered sharply, "She's not." It could have been so much worse, and I knew that. I was just thankful he stopped at one, open-handed slap across my head and face.

I desperately wanted to ask where she was, but I knew it would be stupid to ask. I whimpered, but otherwise, stayed quiet. Sniffling a little, I kept my eyes down. I didn't need another one of those.

"Now, as I was saying." He said, "We're leaving on Thursday. Don't ask any questions, and we'll be alright." I nodded immediately. He was quiet for a moment.

"And don't ask about that again." He commanded, his tone quieter, and I looked down.

"Which thing?" I asked.

"You know what I'm talking about." He replied, "I mean it." I knew. I did know what he was talking about, and I couldn't blame him. If he was as uncomfortable about it as I was, though, why did he have to keep doing it?

I had more questions, and I really wanted to ask them, but I didn't. Knowing that pressing him for answers would only come back to bite me in the ass. I looked up at him, and he kept his gaze on the cigarette in his hand. He seemed hesitant, but too tense.

I was quiet, trying to understand what I'd ever done to him. I wondered what it'd be like to be on his good side for once. All I ever wanted was for him to treat me like something worth even caring about. Just a little bit.

I wasn't asking for everything in the world, but he was the only one I had to look up to. My mom was hardly worth looking at at all, much less looking up to. Considering she was never upright. Jack was all I had. All I wanted was for him to give me some sort of hint that I wasn't wasting my time by looking up to him.

"What?" He suddenly barked, knowing I was still looking at him. I gasped, turning my eyes down once more.

"Sorry."

I finished smoking sitting there beside him.

"Go to bed." He told me, "You're staying home from school tomorrow, but I want your ass up early. Got it?" It was far too early for bed, but he clearly wanted me out of his room. I was used to that.

I climbed over his leg to get off the bed, sighing as I came to stand in the doorway. I had to know. I should have learned earlier what asking questions I didn't want the answer to did, but I couldn't help it.

"Where's mom?" I asked quietly, "Jack, where is she?" He looked to me, and his eyes were stone again. I'd pissed him off, and for a second, I had to fight the urge to run, but I realized he hadn't hit me yet.

"Why do you always have to ask a million questions?" He demanded, "She's not here. That's all you need to know."

"Did she leave?" I whimpered, "She left?"

He sighed, clenching his fists. I knew he was trying, which was surprising to me. He was making an effort not to hit me, but I couldn't help taking a step back. I was tensed, waiting for the moment when he stood up, and I'd have to run.

"She left." Jack told me, answering me after a moment. It took me a second to understand.

"She left?" I repeated. I couldn't believe it. My voice reflected that, and I was sure the look in my eyes did as well.

"Apparently, her brother came by and picked her up. This morning." Jack answered, standing as I took another step back, "Now, again, go to bed. I don't want to see you for the rest of the day."

"Okay." The way I said it had me instantly kicking myself. It was quite sassy, but defensive. The truth was, this news had hit me hard, but he could hit me harder. Which he did.

The sudden slap to the side of my head had me toppling over, hitting the floor. I sat there, stunned for a second. I definitely have to learn to stop pissing him off. I would think I'd have learned that with six years of practice, but so far, I hadn't quite gotten it down. Apparently.

He waited until I managed to pick myself up off the floor to speak again.

"Drop the attitude." I looked down, "Get out."

My mom had been my one fruitless hope in this hell. The fact that she'd just leave me behind hurt. It proved that what Jack had told me all these years, about her not wanting me, was true. She just dropped me, and left.

His voice was one I hadn't heard before. Almost sad, like mom leaving had bothered him. I nodded, instantly turning doing as he told me to do.

I had my own sadness and shock to get through.

I opened my bedroom door, stepped in, and closed it. Leaning against the door, I started to cry. I knew it. I could feel it, that now that she was gone, things would get so much worse around here.

He'd have free reign, freedom to do whatever the hell he wanted. Not that he didn't have that before, but there had always been this hesitancy hanging around before. A worry, that maybe, she'd wake up sober enough to see what was happening.

That was gone.

I was stuck here. Alone, with him. How could she just abandon me? Just leave me here? If she was getting out, why couldn't I? I dealt with way more things than she did, and she still felt she had the right to get out when I didn't?

I didn't see Jack for the rest of the day. He stayed in the bedroom, probably trying to come to terms with it just as much as I was. I wasn't used to being left alone. Allowed to get my clothes washed by hand in the bathtub without being bothered, and that normally took quite a bit of time.

I kneeled there beside the tub, trying to warm my freezing cold hands on my legs. Thinking. It was just so hard to believe. Never, in the last six years, had she ever let on that she wanted to leave. I didn't even know she had a brother.

As I kneeled there, thinking, my thoughts crept slowly toward other scenarios. She wasn't here, that was clear. Had Jack done something? Had he hurt her? Lost his temper with her, and gone too far?

I didn't want to ask him about it, and possibly get myself into the same spot. It just really didn't sit right with me. How suddenly, she could just be gone.

Unfortunately, there he was that night.

Without the light, he seemed angrier now. Without the light, he was going back on what he told me earlier. About trying. Unless he was trying, and if so, I should have been grateful it wasn't worse. Where he would tolerate my struggles before, now it was unacceptable. One particular open handed slap left my ears ringing, and my lip swollen where I'd accidentally bitten the inside of it.

Thinking about other things, hoping he'd just leave me there. I thought about where he'd possibly be taking me, and I thought about what would happen if we were there too long. What if Alice forgot about me? What if we were gone for too long, and I missed my chance to find out why I would ever dream about her?

I made myself hold on. To keep myself from giving up.

However, the following morning, I knew my limit was coming up. I hadn't eaten in five days now, and it was harder to find energy to hide everything. My darkened eye, in particular. I cried while doing so. Kneeling on the sink to see closer, I made sure to cover it the best I could with concealer. My hands trembling.

There wasn't much I could do about my swollen lip. Even if I tried covering it, anyone would be able to see it was swollen. It wasn't hard to see.

My stomach snarled desperately, and I cried along with it. I was getting into the painful days of not eating. The whole time was painful, but not like the later days. I knew better than to ask Jack for some food, however. That would just make sure he didn't feed me for awhile longer. Just because I had the nerve to ask.

Again, I couldn't help thinking. Kneeling there on the sink, facing my own reflection. What about me? My mom may have forgotten about me, but I haven't. I just wanted something different. I was getting so tired of having to lie, to explain away the things he did to me. I was tired of taking the blame, and somehow making it okay.

I was so tired of somehow pulling off miracles, and staying right in the situation I was in.

I stopped those thoughts in their tracks. It wasn't fair, but it's just how it was. No matter what my dreams told me, that would never change. So what if Alice was real? So what if I'd dreamed about her? So what? Was getting my hopes up, and being disappointed yet again worth it?

I wasn't so sure. Normally, I'd tell myself no. It wasn't worth it, but now, I wasn't sure. Was that feeling, the feeling I'd woken up remembering, worth fighting for or pursuing? Did it really matter? It did matter to me, but what did the fact that it mattered to me matter? That didn't matter.

I looked down, away from my own eyes, and I sighed. Confusing myself seemed too easy these days.

I'd have to hurry if I wanted to keep him from getting upset with me. Thunder rumbled above us, drowning out the sound of my next heavy sigh. I climbed off the counter, turning to look out toward the dark living room.

Jack was getting ready himself in just the next room.

I didn't know where he was taking me, but I hoped it was to get something better than just the rejects from the thrift store. I didn't mind either way. Something new to me was new enough.

Jack wasn't poor. Not by any means. He could afford just about anything in the world he wanted, but he chose to keep the bare minimum in the house, and put the rest away. Which included keeping me in the bare minimum. Now that I was fully his, I wondered if things would actually get better.

I knew better than to hope. That was a depressing thought, anyway. Fully his, I scoffed. It seemed like my whole life, I was being tossed around between people that didn't want me. My mom to my dad, my dad back to my mom. My mom to Jack, and my mom split.

It was much too early for me to be awake, as normally Jack had already left for work by the time I even woke up, so I was pretty worn out. Hurting and sore, and I knew the cold of the morning would only make that worse. Dawn had just come, and school didn't start for another two hours.

Pausing to look me over before we left the house, Jack's hand gripped my chin and turned my face upwards. Looking me over.

"Good job." He allowed, a hint of surprise in his voice, "Do you always cover it this good?" I nodded to his question.

Releasing my chin, he gripped my shoulder and steered me out the door.

It was raining in the lightening yard, so I shielded my head the best I could with my arms as I waited for him to unlock the truck. Once he did, I scrambled up as quickly as I was able to, shutting the door behind me. Shivering slightly.

I turned, knowing the drill. Climbing over the center console, I landed in the backseat with a quiet grunt of discomfort. The backseat of his truck was a flat, hard bench. Very little to no padding, whatsoever. Back here, it was easier to hide me. He hated to be seen with me, and I was never exactly thrilled to be seen with him.

"I don't go in until nine." Jack told me, starting the truck, "But you'll be staying home, so I'll drop your ass off back here. You better be here when I get back, or you'll be sorry." We got going, leaving the porch light on behind us. I was particularly moody this morning, and I surprised myself by having to bite back a retort. I already was sorry.

"Okay." I agreed quietly, "Where would I go?" He only chuckled in response to that, knowing as well as I did that I wouldn't have anywhere else to go, "I'm not stupid."

"Yes you are." He laughed incredulously, "Where would you get that idea?" I didn't answer, sighing as I looked out the window, "What? Suddenly someone calls asking for you, and you think you deserve better? Uh-uh." I watched him shake his head out of the corner of my eye, "Don't flatter yourself, you stupid little bitch."

"You're the one telling me you're making more of an effort." That one couldn't be stopped.

What the hell was wrong with me? Since when did I ever, ever talk back? Not only just now, but earlier. And before then? I had to keep my eyes down, and I had to keep my replies to myself. That's what I did. I didn't talk back, and I didn't challenge him. Why was I challenging him? Why was I talking back to him?

He caught that, pulling over onto the grassy side of the path. Spinning in his seat, he reached back and caught my face in his hand with a tension I knew was controlled. Despite knowing it was controlled, it still hurt. Badly. Pulling me forward, his glare was enough to send ice through my veins.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled instantly, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Let's get one thing straight right now, cunt." He growled, "I am making more of an effort, so you'll quit your bitching." I whimpered as he shook me a little.

He continued through clenched teeth, inches from my face, "What I do to you is our business. Nobody else's. Get it?" I hesitated, only whimpering as I attempted to pry his hand loose. That never worked, so I don't know why I tried it now. When I didn't answer, he slapped me repeatedly against the side of my head, "Huh? Do you get that, or do I have to repeat myself?"

"Yes." I answered, flinching at each slap.

"Good." He pulled me even closer, and I had to kneel on the edge of the seat to keep from falling, "Because if I ever have to tell you that again, things will be much worse for you. You remember the box?" I instantly recalled what he was talking about.

Two years before, I'd broken something, and I knew then that I was in for it.

Outside the house, out the back door closer to the trees, there was a small, wooden box. Not a shed, but more like a chest. The lid flipped up, and inside was a small space for small tools, and on the lid, was a latch for a lock. The box was far from waterproof, and the damp earth under it smelled horribly of mold.

The small space was supposed to be used for tools. Not seven-year-olds.

I was beaten, and dropped in that box for three days and nights straight for what I'd done. By the time he let me out, I was sobbing so loud, I was sure the neighbor up the road could hear me. When he finally let me out, he only laughed, and told me that he'd forgotten all about me. That I was lucky I didn't starve to death out there.

"Remember?" He prompted again, and my wide eyes turned pleading.

I nodded in his hand, "You don't want that again, do you?" I shook my head as much as I could, letting out a sob, "No. You don't. So cut the shit, or I'll make sure you never see the light of day again." I knew I had to have done something huge if he used that threat again.

I didn't know what to say to that.

"Drop the attitude, bitch." He continued, "I don't know where you picked it up from, but that shit isn't going to fly here."

"Yes, sir." I mumbled, unable to clearly talk. His grip was really starting to hurt.

"You're going to sit down, shut the fuck up, and if I hear another word out of you, it's right back into that box." He paused, glaring into my eyes, "And if anyone ever shows the slightest bit of interest in you again, you'll disappear. I'm not playing around anymore, Leandra. I don't care who the hell it was on the phone the other day. You make them forget your name, or so help me, you'll regret the day you were born."

He didn't wait for me to agree.

With a shove, I was sent back into the backseat. My welts and bruises exploded in pain as I landed, but I didn't dare make a sound. I just scrambled upright, curling into an upright ball on the seat. He turned forward again, satisfied with my changed tune. Or lack of one.

That was it for the conversation.

**A/N: Isn't Jack just the nicest person you've ever 'met'?  
>Less added to this one, but I'm not too worried. The bigger addition is coming in the next chapter. If you've read the original, you'll see what I mean.<br>Aaand... OMG! THANK YOU!~!~! To those amazing individuals who shared their thoughts with me! It's very, very encouraging! You have no idea how appreciated it is. :D**  
><strong>Chapter five is finished, but I'd like a chance to make sure everything's in place, especially toward the addition. I won't be able to do much of that for the next couple of days, but rest assured I'll be thinking on it the entire time until I can get at it. I'm particularly excited about that, but just a heads up. It's pretty long compared to these first few chapters. I'm pretty confident at this point, though, that not many people mind that. ;)<strong>  
><strong>Until Five, my beautiful readers! :D<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I was given clear instructions on what type of clothing to get, and how much I was allowed to spend as we got to the store. As it turned out, and to my surprise, I was allowed to pick out whatever I wanted, which was something I didn't take lightly.

I'd never really gotten to choose my own clothes before. Just stuff I wouldn't wear, versus stuff I had no choice but to wear, because there were no other choices.

The mostly old, stretched out sweaters that had the lingering smell of stale cigarettes and cats. Jeans that seemed like they were meant to be tossed into the trash, but landed in the 'give away' pile instead. It was rare to find something nice in the pile of shit Jack brought home for me.

Jack gave me a general idea of what I'd need to get. T-shirts and jeans. Pajamas, preferably thin ones. New shoes, and whatever else I might need. Socks, underwear, the like.

I was given two hundred in cash, and sent in alone. Jack waited out in the truck, telling me to make it fast, which I just couldn't do. It was clear to me that he hated letting me do this, but given permission, I couldn't pass it up.

I took my time. I carefully poked through the aisles, not particularly eager to make it quick. I knew I had to be careful, find sturdy clothing that would last. I wasn't after the clothes that looked good.

Nothing too thick, or too heavy. But nothing too thin, or too light either. Nothing too small, or constricting, but not loose enough to bare any skin over my upper shoulders. It was hard finding the right sizes, but I managed to figure it out on my own.

I liked the darker colors. In case I accidentally bled on them, it'd be easier to get the stain out. Blacks, dark grays, browns, dark greens, dark blues. Purples, even a dark maroon color. I pawed through sweaters and long sleeved t-shirts. Wondering what it'd be like to not have to live my entire public life covered from neck to toe.

With a lot left over, I chose a few more long sleeved sweater shirts, just so I'd have some sort of variety when we got back from wherever we were going. I didn't know when I'd get this opportunity again. I knew he'd approve of me not spending it all, which he did. He gave me a nod, taking the change I offered him. Even the pennies.

We got back to the house just before nine, and Jack left me alone from there. Not even caring what all I got. He left with another grumbled warning to stay home, and I was alone again.

At his instruction, there was an old duffel bag in my mom's closet I could use to pack the new stuff in, which I did. Carefully folding everything, I packed the things I needed. Neatly, otherwise Jack would throw everything at me and tell me to do it again. I couldn't leave any obvious reason for him to do so.

While Jack was gone, I couldn't help the nap I decided on. Falling asleep for a few hours. I needed to rest, and I couldn't get it any other time, so I took the opportunity.

I woke long before I was ready to, but I knew it'd be stupid to let him catch me sleeping when he came home, so I decided I'd try to gain some points by finishing picking things up around the house, and starting a burn. Maybe I'd earn something to eat instead of a beating, but I wasn't counting on that.

I wore a pair of my trashier pajama pants and an old light blue hooded sweatshirt that I'd stolen from my mom awhile back. Pulling the hood over my head, I made my way out back. Thankfully, it wasn't raining today, but I could feel the moisture in the air that hit my skin. It wasn't raining, but it was definitely a wet day.

I wrestled the lock free of the dog run. Sighing as I took three big bags from the middle of the pile and kicked a fourth one toward the filthy burn barrel off toward the trees.

Ignoring the mice that ran from the pile.

Inevitably, I was covered in black ash right away. Always, because I had to take the ash that didn't burn away the last time and do something with it, otherwise the barrel would fill up, which was dangerous. Another barrel sat off to the side that I could shovel the ash into. It basically washed away with the rain in that one, never getting more than half full at any given time.

I tossed two bags in first, got the fire going, and grabbed the stick I used to keep the pile down. I didn't mind burning stuff so much. It was pretty easy, and actually nice to just stand there, watching the fire for awhile. Now and then stirring and poking the stuff in the barrel to make it burn evenly.

How long I was out there depended on the weather, and how confident I felt that I could stand the cold water later to get cleaned up. If I was brave, I'd burn six or seven bags at a time. Or finish the pile with ten.

Today, I chose only five bags, kneeling on the dirt when standing got too tiresome. Burning was boring, though, because it took about an hour for everything to turn to ash. There wasn't a whole lot to do while watching it, and I wasn't brave enough to wander off while it was going. While I waited, I watched the flames, and I thought.

I wondered how much Alice hated me for not being home when she came by. I wondered if she actually came by like she said she would. I felt bad for not being here, but I had no choice. I still felt bad, though, for not giving her a heads up.

I stayed kneeling there for what felt like hours to me, just watching. I had to move a few times, as I got too warm next to the fire, but that was it for the movement. I was sure Jack would be at least a little happy with me for doing this. Unless somehow I did manage to burn down the house. Then he'd kill me. No questions asked.

"Leandra?" I stood quickly, turning sharply at Alice's voice behind me. I smiled a little, having not expected to see her there. She'd rounded the house, Carlisle following to my surprise, "What are you doing?"

"Just burning some trash." I replied with a small shrug. It didn't surprise me that Alice didn't recognize anything about what I was doing. She probably came from a much better part of town, wherever she lived. Where I lived, this was a normal and necessary chore.

"You're filthy." She frowned, coming to my side.

"Someone's gotta do it." Was all I said, sighing.

She was quiet, but she seemed upset. Carlisle stood to her other side, and given the concern in his eyes as he looked to me, my late night the night before showed in my tired expression.

"Uhm.." I paused, glancing up at the cloudy sky, "This should be about done. Just let me put some dirt on this, and we can go inside. It'll be fine with as rainy as it's been lately." I'd been burning trash since I was five, and had yet to burn anything down, so I was pretty confident that I knew what I was doing.

I hesitated only a second before reaching for the small shovel leaning against the wooden tool box a few steps away. I hated going near that box. The same box I'd lived in for three days.

"Here." I glanced over as Carlisle spoke up, starting forward, "Let me do that for you."

"Oh no." I said, surprised, "You don't have to. I can do it." He gave me an insistent look, and I sighed, "Well, okay. If you really want to.." I hesitantly let him take the shovel from me, dusting my hands off on my jacket. I felt horrible letting him do my work for me, but I really wasn't up to arguing with him.

"Let's get you cleaned up." Alice was still upset, and I couldn't understand why. I glanced back at Carlisle as Alice placed her hand on my back, leading me toward the back door.

"Are you sure?" I asked, my eyes still on Carlisle, "I really can do it."

"I promise it's fine." He replied, giving me a small confident smile and a nod. I let Alice lead me up the shaky back steps, and in through the door.

I pursed my lips as Alice closed the door behind her, standing in the back room with me. Back here was where the washer and dryer sat, but I wasn't allowed to use either one of them. Further to the right, was the second door to the master bathroom.

I sighed, leading her from the small laundry hall, into the kitchen.

"I don't like that he has you doing that." Alice spoke up, and I looked over at her.

"Oh, that's not that bad." I replied honestly, "It's easy if you know what you're doing. Anyone with half a brain-cell would know what not to do to keep from burning the forest down."

"It's not the forest I'm worried about, Leandra." She was still unhappy. I must have pissed her off by not being here this morning.

"I'm really sorry I wasn't here earlier." I murmured, stepping through the kitchen toward the bathroom, "Jack took me to get some clothes." She followed me, standing in the bathroom doorway as I turned on the light.

"He did?" She asked, watching as I took the one washcloth I had use of and turned on the cold water. I climbed up onto the sink, kneeling on the counter and seeing all the ash coated on my cheeks. No wonder she thought I was filthy. I definitely looked it.

I'd tried to be careful, but that wasn't always achievable when ash got everywhere seemingly on its own.

"Yeah." I mumbled, wetting the cloth. I had to be careful how much I wiped off with Alice watching me. Well, I figured, why bother? She'd obviously already seen the bruise, but I still didn't feel comfortable uncovering it with Carlisle around. So I dabbed the ash over the concealer away. Carefully removing it.

She stayed in the doorway, watching me as I cleaned my hands and the smudges off my cheeks.

"Which is your room?" She asked, and I looked to her, "So I can get you clean clothes." My jacket and pajama bottoms were dirty, so I knew why she'd ask, but the thought of her going into my room for any reason scared me. Not only because of the blood-stained carpet, but the holes in the wall. From me hitting it, or Jack punching it instead of me.

"Um." I froze a little, my heart sinking, "I'll get it."

"Really, I can." She offered, and I instantly hopped down. She turned, sighing.

"Wait." I mumbled, watching as she headed for exactly the right door, "Alice, let me." Thankfully, the back door opened, and Carlisle came inside, taking her attention as well as mine.

"That was quick." I muttered, surprised. It took me longer than that on my best day.

"Those steps are highly unsafe." He murmured with a small frown. I didn't know what to say to that, sighing. The whole damn house was highly unsafe, but I kept that to myself. I still wasn't sure if I trusted him yet, but Alice moving again regained my attention. To my relief, she only moved toward the living room.

"I'll be right out." I muttered, and she gave me a nod as she looked around tensely. I made sure neither of them were looking before shoving open my bedroom door quickly and slipping inside through a two inch opening. Closing it firmly behind myself.

I took a few seconds to breathe. My head was still spinning at the fact that they had bothered to actually come back a second time. Now both of them were in the house, which really made my mind spin.

I quickly pulled on cleaner clothes, shedding my sweatshirt and trading that for one of my old, torn sweaters. Jeans, of course. I had nothing else, really. Leaving my shoes off, I left the room again. Closing the door behind me firmly, I made sure there was no way for it to come open on its own. Kicking it to test it.

Slowly stepping back out, I spotted the two of them standing there. Well, Carlisle stood there. Alice wandered slowly, looking around.

"Better?" I asked quietly, and she looked to me. Nodding a little. Watching her look around, I was glad I'd picked things up a little more.

"That's not one of the new ones, is it?" She asked, and knowing she meant my sweater, I shook my head.

"No." I sighed, "I'm not allowed to wear them yet." She glanced to me.

"Why not?" She asked, continuing to look around. She still seemed agitated, and I didn't understand it. The place was cleaner now than it had been before. I turned, taking the now open spot beside Carlisle to watch her curiously. Glancing up at him, I noticed he watched her too. Next to Carlisle, though, it was easy to see how small I was. I didn't focus too much on that.

"Not until we get to wherever we're going." I clarified, "We're leaving tomorrow."

"Leaving?" She seemed far more interested in that, "Where are you going?"

"I don't know." I admitted, "He won't tell me."

"He's taking you away?" She asked again, seeming disappointed.

"I know. I'd rather stay too, but since mom left, he thinks we need to go somewhere I guess." I replied with a slow shrug. It still bothered me, thinking about my mom leaving. I sighed, looking down.

"How long will you be gone for?" She asked. I hesitated, half surprised, half confused about why she'd ask. I wasn't used to the forward way she was asking these things.

"I really don't know." I answered again, "He didn't tell me anything, except that we were leaving tomorrow." I waited a few seconds for her to ask another question, "Maybe it's better he doesn't tell me anything. Less stuff to dread that way."

I watched her, almost transfixed, as she wandered over to the coffee table. Cleared of any beer bottles, but she picked up something that always made me nervous. No matter who held it.

Jack's folded utility knife. I hated that thing. I never touched it. If I had to, it was only to give it to him. The sound of it clicking open always made me jump, and unconsciously, I took half a step back as it did so now. My heart pounded uncomfortably.

There was a story behind that thing. He must have forgotten it today, as he usually kept it on him at all times. It usually lived in his pocket.

"Alice." Carlisle spoke, and I had to look over, forcing myself to breathe as she closed it again and put it back down on the table with a light thud. Noticing her looking down at it with what I could only guess was disgust.

"So he didn't tell you anything about where you're going?" She asked again, and I shook my head.

"That's nothing new, though." I murmured, still trying to calm down.

I glanced back up when she didn't reply, seeing that she was looking closer. I met her gaze, and her eyes grew concerned. As if she could see right through all my careful face paint. Just like the other day.

"I think you should come over." She finally told me firmly, and yet again, I was taken off guard. Surprised by the sudden way she said that.

"Over?" I asked, "Like, to your house?"

"Yes." She said, "You haven't really gotten to meet everyone yet." I turned, glancing to the clock. The first thing I thought of, as usual, was how long I had until Jack got back. If he went in late today, that meant he'd be home sooner.

"I shouldn't." I replied quietly, "He'll be home soon, and if I'm not here, he'll get mad. He told me to stay here." With an extra beat of my heart, I remembered the box, and I started to shake my head. I thought about everything Jack told me that morning.

"I just want you to meet the others before you go." She insisted, "We won't keep you long." I wasn't sure why she wanted this so much. Like it mattered to her.

"I-I can't." I wish I could tell her why.

Going over to their place was the opposite of making them forget my name.

I was supposed to make them forget me. Not make more friends. I was torn between what Jack told me, and what I wanted. I liked Alice. It wasn't fair. I wanted a friend. This was a once in a lifetime kind of chance. Jack just didn't understand that.

Maybe if I told him about how I dreamed about her, he'd let me keep talking to her. Maybe if I told him this wasn't just someone who'd seen me, but someone I'd seen, he'd calm down about it. I doubted it, but I didn't let myself think too much about that.

Something was telling me, tempting me to take her offer.

"Please?" She really wanted this, and I found it harder to keep telling her no. She was too nice of a person to deny, and it was harder to keep telling myself no. She didn't even know what she was asking of me, though.

"How far away do you live?" I asked quietly after a moment of thinking.

"Twenty minutes, tops." She replied, and I started to consider it. I had two and a half hours before I needed to be back, so I sighed.

"I have two hours before I have to be back here." I told her, "That's when he gets home." Why was I even considering it? Jack had told me to stay, but she was wanting me to go. Why was it even considerable? Why was I even tempted?

"Two hours." She agreed, nodding. So I sighed.

"Okay." I mumbled, glancing up at Carlisle, "I just have to get my shoes."

What was wrong with me today? What was wrong with me lately? I wasn't myself. That hadn't happened before. Normally, what Jack told me specifically stuck. It must have been the once in a lifetime thing. I wasn't willing to just let it pass. Despite that, though, it scared me to go against what Jack told me to do.

I understood the consequences of what I was choosing to do. Alice didn't, but that wasn't her fault. I knew how much trouble I could get into. She didn't. Until she did understand, there was no way she could know how hard this was for me.

I slowly stepped around Carlisle, a frown on my face as I headed back toward my room. I didn't know how to feel about her insisting. I was both grateful for her insisting, but uneasy.

I pushed open my bedroom door, stepping over the stained carpet to my shoes by the bed. I listened for any hints they were about to follow me, the one squeak in the floor in the hallway, but never heard it. So I kept my gaze down. It would have been far easier to just close the door behind me like I had done before, but I was already across the room when I remembered that. I sighed, questioning my ability to think. Shaking my head, I blamed it on being tired.

And I was. I was already very tired. Like I could just lay down and sleep for days.

It wasn't that I didn't want to go. I wanted to go. I just didn't want to get into trouble, or be shoved into the box for going. I had to find out what made Alice so special, and I had a strong feeling I would find out if I let them take me home.

I shook my head, sighing as I continued on with my task. I was taking a huge, huge chance. A major risk, and that fact wasn't lost on me. I just needed to be a little brave.

I'd go there, find out there actually wasn't anything special about these people, and be disappointed, but at least I'd cure my curiosity.

I'd just gotten one foot into the first shoe when I was startled.

"Leandra?" Carlisle called, his voice closer to the room. I jumped up quickly, racing across the room with my other shoe in my hand as I left the room, slamming the door behind me as I looked up at him.

Standing there, we watched each other for a moment. Me leaning back against the closed bedroom door, looking up at him watching me with gentle suspicion in his eyes. I didn't dare move until I was sure he hadn't seen the room I'd just left.

"I just wanted to let you know to grab a jacket." He finally said quietly, "It's a little cold out."

"I'm okay." I answered just as quietly, if not quieter, "I'm pretty tough." Not to mention, the only jacket I had was currently coated in ash that didn't smell too good.

"Okay." He allowed, not pressing, much to my relief. Slowly, I stepped away from the door. Glancing up at him as I stepped passed.

"Thank you." I murmured, "By the way. For.. Outside."

"You're welcome." He replied, following me back toward the living room. I took a calming breath, looking to Alice still standing there. I paused against the wall, leaning against it as I pulled my other shoe on. Ignoring the pain as I did so. My heart skipped a beat, but I was otherwise fine.

I was getting better at that, I thought to myself. It was always harder when the wounds and bruises were fresh.

I tied my shoe quickly, sighing as I stood upright.

"I have to be back before he gets home." I stressed, coming to Alice's side, "Okay?"

"Of course." Alice assured me, "You will be."

I left with them, feeling more nervous now, but I comforted myself with one thought. If Carlisle had seen any hint of my room, there was no way he'd be so calm. No way in hell.

It was a close call, and I had to be more careful.

Once again, I was in the front passenger seat, but this time I wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as I was before. Just nervous. Until one thought tried to steal any confidence I might have had.

What if Jack got off work early? If I wasn't there when he got back, I'd be in so much trouble.

"Leandra," Alice spoke from the backseat, distracting me enough to keep me from panicking, and I looked to her, "I wish I knew how to word this in a way you won't be offended, but here goes nothing." I waited, "You look horrible." I looked down instantly, unsure how to reply, "You look so tired."

"I know." I mumbled in response, "I'm always tired."

"Don't you get enough sleep?" She asked, and I couldn't help feeling as if she had been waiting for the opportunity to ask that question. There was no pause to think of the question, just a split second of hesitation.

"No." I replied quietly. Simple. One word answer, and that didn't seem like such a bad question to answer.

"Why did your mother leave, Leandra?" Alice asked, and I kept my eyes down. Sighing quietly. More personal questions. It really did seem like she was interrogating me, but in a subtle sort of way.

"I don't know," I mumbled, "But it's not fair."

"What do you mean by that?" Carlisle asked, and for a moment I was surprised that he'd take an interest in my life. Sure, he'd helped me earlier, but that was different. I felt in the way enough, what with Alice insisting they come all the way to Sappho two days in a row. I figured the least I could do was answer him.

"It's not fair that she got away when I can't." I turned my gaze out the window, "That she'd just leave me behind like trash."

"That's never easy, Leandra." Alice murmured, and I shrugged. Trying to hold back my emotion as she continued, "I can't tell you for certain what she was thinking, but maybe she just didn't have time to take you. Maybe she only had a short amount of time to leave."

"Maybe." I mumbled bitterly, "I shouldn't even be complaining. I don't even know why I expected anything different. I should be happy she's gone."

I lightly rested my head against the window, closing my eyes. I was exhausted. The heat in the car was making it tough to stay tense. I stifled a yawn, biting my lip as I did so. Wincing slightly as the action brought me pain.

"Has she always been that way?" Alice asked quietly, and I knew what she meant. How'd I know this question was going to come up?

"Yeah." I muttered, my head still against the window, "For as long as I can remember." It was clear she didn't know what to say to that, "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that." She countered, and I didn't even look at her. I pursed my lips a little, sighing. It was quiet for a moment as we found the highway. The one that'd take us from Sappho to Forks. It was this road that turned into main street.

"Leandra," Carlisle spoke again, and I looked to him, "I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be truthful with me." Why did they always warn me before telling me something? Sure it was nice to have a heads up, but that didn't make it any easier to answer.

"Okay." I mumbled hesitantly, waiting tensely.

"What happened to your lip?" The forward way he asked that question made my heart drop, and I looked down. Nervously biting my lip again, gently trying to subtly hide it.

"How do you guys see so much?" I asked quietly. I knew it was pointless to deny it, not when he seemed so certain. I added, "Nobody ever sees so much."

I waited, and he waited. Obviously neither of us wanting to answer the other's question. I kept my eyes on him, and he kept glancing to me. The silence answering for me.

I didn't even know how I knew to ask that one question. It was the one question that kept him from insisting I answer, which was exactly what I needed. I wished I could tell him, but there was just so much standing between me and admitting the truth.

It seemed like in no time at all we were getting to Forks, and even less time to pass right through it. The trip to their house wasn't very long, but it worried me. The entire way, I was thinking about what would happen if Jack got home early.

Since he specifically told me to be there, it was so hard to go against what he told me to do. I was questioning my sanity yet again, for even thinking about going against what he specifically told me.

Despite the worry, I watched, fascinated as Carlisle turned off the highway, onto a drive mostly hidden in the trees. It was a very remote area, I could already see that. Not many places were this hidden. Not around here.

I thought where I lived was pretty out of the way, but even our road wasn't this hidden, and it definitely wasn't paved. This one was.

"Leandra," Alice spoke a moment later, "I want to ask you something. And I want you to be truthful with me." Again with that line. I sighed in slight irritation, waiting as I turned slightly to look back at her, "You recognized me that day." So she had noticed. I neither nodded or shook my head, staying quiet as I looked at her, "You told me you did."

To be honest with myself, the fact that she hadn't asked about Jack eased me, but what she was asking about now made me less likely to speak. It puzzled me how she knew to ask about it, but it also scared me. I couldn't explain it to her any more than I could explain it to myself.

"Do you recognize anyone else?" She asked, and I looked down. Taking my silence as an answer, she smiled again, "Like you've met us before, right?"

"What does this have to do with anything?" I asked quietly. My soft tone was defensive again, giving away how I felt. I wasn't about to admit that I knew what she was talking about. I didn't want to tell her that I remembered them from a dream I'd had two days ago. Not only would she probably laugh her ass off at me, but she probably wouldn't want to be my friend anymore.

For a moment, I was distracted by the fact that I actually considered her to be a friend. That was incredibly dangerous of me to do. For her, and for myself and I knew it, but I hadn't even noticed it happening. I wanted to keep her safe from Jack, but I also wanted her to be my friend.

"There's a reason." She answered, and I was momentarily distracted, turning my eyes back out the window as we broke free of the trees, and approached a rather large house. I had to stare. A dull ache swam through my head as I looked at the large house, my eyes glued to its beauty.

Some part of me felt like I'd been here. I was sure I had been here.

Alice's eyes were on me, watching my reaction closely. I smiled just a bit, unable to help it. My mind struggled, aching the entire time, to recall where I'd seen this house before. It was very confusing, and very disorienting, but I had no control over it.

"I see that." I looked to Alice, her smile throwing me off. I looked down as I forced my smile to fade.

"I'm only smiling because this place is bigger than three of my houses put together." I muttered, "This looks more like a museum than a house." She laughed a little.

I wasn't sure why I was intimidated, but something about the way she looked at me made me think she expected something of me. Maybe to say something, or to do something, I really wasn't sure. So I just turned my gaze back out the window.

It started to hit me, however. Whether I recognized their house or not, I was being taken to a stranger's house. Despite the fact that I knew them, in some weird, indescribable way. They were still strangers to me, and I had to decide whether or not I trusted my dream enough to test it this way.

I didn't know these people. Not well enough to let them take me to their house. They could be some kind of kidnappers. Isn't that what kidnappers did? Earn the trust of the kid, and take them away?

That thought didn't seem so bad to me. Anywhere with them had to be better than anywhere with Jack. I was still hesitant, however, glancing to Carlisle again. Did I trust him? Had he given me a reason not to trust him? He hadn't. Would I find any reason in the world not to trust him? I would.

Alice had treated me nicer in the last two days than I remembered anyone else treating me my whole life, which is why I would have been okay with being kidnapped. I didn't mind that part so much.

Once in the garage, and once we'd stopped, Alice climbed out and immediately opened my door for me. I hesitated, unsure for a moment.

"Come on." She said, "It's okay."

"Maybe I should go back." I mumbled.

"Not yet." She replied, "Come on. It'll be okay."

I was intimidated. Scared. I didn't exactly know what was going on, but it had become suddenly clear to me that they knew something about me that I didn't know they knew, and I didn't like that. Carlisle stood from the car as well, but I stayed.

"It'll be okay." She repeated as she peered in at me, but I had to stay firm. Not when it came to not knowing where I stood. It wasn't that I didn't trust them. I just didn't like not being told everything, and I knew somehow that I needed to progress and tread carefully. I shook my head, choosing to stay sitting.

"Come inside." Carlisle spoke now, and I looked up at him, "Just for a moment." It was quiet as I debated. I really wasn't so sure anymore. Did I really have to be so worried? Was it really that important? They hadn't hurt me yet. That was the deciding factor. They'd been absolutely nothing but kind to me. More kind than I deserved. Maybe it wasn't so bad.

"It's alright." Carlisle prompted, and slowly, I moved. Standing from the car with a quiet sigh.

As I followed Alice toward the door inside the garage, probably leading into the house, I had to stop. Whimpering as my vision suddenly became unsteady. The room spun, and I reached out. Alice willingly caught me, keeping me upright as I nearly lost all strength in my legs.

I'd gone too long without eating. I knew exactly what it was causing me to feel like this, because I'd felt like this before. Not here. God, not here. Not here, not now.

I prayed I didn't pass out, breathing slowly with my eyes closed tightly. Opening my eyes briefly, I noticed Carlisle now looked me over. I knew what he was seeing. When I got like this, I always noticed I lost a lot of color from my face. Which was bad, considering when that happened, more bruises were visible. Even under the concealer.

I looked up at him, dizzily managing to hold his gaze.

"How long has it been since you've eaten?" He asked, concerned. I considered my options carefully. Would they believe me if I lied, and told them only a day? A day wasn't so bad. I opened my eyes, glancing to my hand holding tight to Alice's, trying to stay upright.

"Awhile." I finally mumbled, taking a breath, "Sorry. Just.. Sometimes this happens."

"Please don't apologize." He replied, "How long exactly?"

"I can't tell you." I just knew if I told him, that would only lead to questions I didn't want to answer. Why so long? Jack wouldn't let me, that's why. My stomach chose that time to emphasize it's empty state with a growl. I cursed under my breath.

"Come inside." Alice insisted quietly, "Please." I only then realized how tight I still held her hand, and released it. I was fine now, able to stand on my own. She seemed hesitant to let me go, but allowed it.

"I shouldn't have left." I mumbled, "Alice, if he gets home early-"

"He won't." She assured me, but I wasn't eased. I looked up, meeting Alice's eyes. She had to see my worry, my fear. I was fighting this. I knew what they were trying to do. I could see it. The pressure I felt with that one realization was enough to stop my cooperation right in its tracks.

They saw something that told them something wasn't right, and I knew they were just trying to get me to admit it. To admit to what he did, and just like that, I became a brick wall. I had to put a stop to it, and now.

I had to fix it, but why?

What was the point? So Jack could keep on doing what he does? So I could keep living in pain? I didn't want that. This could be my one chance to end it all, but I couldn't let myself take it.

No. I knew why I needed to fix it. There were many, many times he made his point very clear about what would happen to me if I ever told anyone what he did to me. I hadn't told anyone what he did, and I doubted I ever would.

"I know what he does." Alice finally sighed as if reading the direction my thoughts had gone, catching my attention. I hesitated for a second, and looked at her.

She was trying to help me, but she didn't get that I couldn't be helped. There was no way she could know.

"No you don't." I had to correct her. Who was she to pretend she understood? There was no way anyone could. Even if she had seen the bruise on my face. That was hardly any indication of what I lived through on a daily basis.

"Bet me." She told me quietly, and suddenly, I wasn't so sure.

"You don't." I mumbled, looking down, "Because there's nothing to know."

"Leandra, please." Carlisle spoke again, and I looked to him again, "Let's discuss this inside."

"There's nothing to discuss." I insisted firmly, "There's nothing." The sure, calm way he looked at me had me getting even more defensive. He seemed to already know. Like he could see right through my words. What was the point? The point was my life. I didn't want to die.

"Leandra." Alice's tone was quiet, and she knew what I was attempting to do. I stopped resisting so much, whimpering quietly.

"B-But.." I trailed off, unable to really find an excuse. I needed her to understand, just a little, that what she wanted me to do was so far beyond what I could do, it wasn't going to happen just like that.

"Come inside-" Alice started.

"There's nothing to know." I repeated.

"Five minutes." Alice told me, "If I can't convince you in five minutes, then I'll take you back myself. I promise, but you have to come inside. It's cold out here, and I know you'll be more comfortable inside."

That shut me up. I didn't like it, but she said. Five minutes. The longer I stood there resisting, the longer I'd be here. Five minutes didn't seem so bad. Five minutes was acceptable.

"Okay." I agreed quietly. She smiled a little, taking my hand more comfortably and leading me the rest of the way inside. I was cooperating again, but the way she told me she knew left little doubt. How on Earth would she know? I mean, I knew my behavior hadn't been the best, but how did that indicate Jack had anything to do with it? I could just be a bad kid, or a naturally tense person.

Looking around myself, I tried hard to ignore the sense of familiarity. My tired, nearly crying eyes studied everything I saw closely. It was undeniable, however, how I did recognize things. It was such an unreal feeling, but I hid it the best I could.

Alice released my hand slowly, and I looked around. On my own now.

My tears slowly stopped, as I hesitantly put my hand on the edge of the counter. This was really starting to freak me out, and it was becoming less and less ignorable. I'd been here. Like having a memory I didn't remember having. A memory I'd never actually made, or a memory I couldn't remember.

More than with anyone I'd seen yet, I recognized this place. It confused me a little how just looking around this house I'd never set foot in before could make me feel so many emotions at once. Many of them, I didn't know the name for.

"This can't be real." I whimpered, mostly to myself. I gripped the edge of the counter a little tighter, just to prove that it was solid under my hand. I hadn't even made it passed the kitchen yet, and I wanted to cry.

Before I could start, though, I jumped sharply, looking back at the door closing behind me. It was just Carlisle. I was shaken up, the slightest things setting me more on edge. My heart pounded, curious and scared at the same time.

"Relax." Alice told me quietly, "You're fine here." I didn't bother replying to that. I wished my thoughts would slow down. I was so tense, I didn't think I'd ever take another normal breath again.

Alice smiled a little at me, "Come on." Her small smile was comforting, as if she understood it all without me having to say a word. She was good at that.

I followed her now. Willingly following her from the kitchen, and into the next room. The living room. Apparently everyone had expected me over, because I spotted everyone immediately. Bringing me here must have been her goal from the start.

despite their friendly expressions, I instantly felt intimidated. Particularly by the big one. The one smirking at me that day. I recalled Alice calling him Emmett.

"Uh.." I mumbled, stepping closer to Alice's side.

"I said you're fine here, and I mean that." She murmured, seeing my discomfort, "I wouldn't tell you that if it wasn't true."

I trembled. I was already regretting agreeing to this. If Jack found out I wasn't there, I was done for. My thoughts kept returning to that, and being locked in the box for three days. That scared me more than any beating.

I looked up as someone descended the stairs. I recognized her almost as much as I recognized Carlisle, but this made me sad. Would I ever stop meeting new people I already knew? This was getting to be really hard on me. Harder than before, and I didn't even understand why.

I'd dreamed about her too, and I remembered her enough to know that I missed her. It was just a little stronger than the way I recognized the others, so I was taken off guard. Just officially meeting her for the first time, she came to stand in front of me.

"Leandra, this is Esme." Alice told me, and I nodded. I couldn't speak yet. Like my voice was stuck in my throat, and I couldn't make a sound now. For once, not out of fear.

"I've heard quite a few things about you." Esme murmured, her smile still in place. Offering her hand in greeting. I had to seem so crazy, looking up at her like a kicked and abandoned puppy, before hesitantly taking her offered hand.

The temperature difference was something I recognized as well. From Alice, but just in general as well. Her hand was much colder than mine was, which was saying something. Considering I hadn't fully warmed up from being outside yet, but the difference in temperature was something I never even thought twice about. It didn't bother me. Like I was used to it, or just expected it.

"Hello, honey." She smiled, and I just stared at her for a moment.

I remembered her, and one question echoed through my mind, tripling the emotion I felt. How could people I barely remembered from a dream I'd had already mean so much to me? I'd been so preoccupied with wondering why I'd dream about them, that I refused to focus on the fact that I had.

I had dreamed about them, and I hated waking up. That should be all that mattered.

When I could, I let go of her hand. Stepping back, standing closer to Alice and looking to the floor. Why was this so hard on me? It wasn't just the fact that I was afraid of what Jack would do. It wasn't just that. This was hard on me in another way.

Everyone else in the room was silent, giving the illusion that nobody was there. They just watched, but it was almost easy to ignore them in my sudden emotional pain. Why did this hurt so much? I hated it, because I didn't understand it.

Alice smiled a little at me, before looking to Esme, "Esme, do you think you can make something for her to eat?" I perked up slightly, tensing in my surprise, "She hasn't eaten in awhile." That was honestly something I had not been expecting. Really? They didn't even know me, and they were going to feed me?

"Of course." Esme seemed only too happy to do so, "I'm sure I can do that." I looked up at Alice, both surprised and cautiously hopeful as I hesitantly turned to follow Esme as she started back the way we'd come. Toward the kitchen.

"It's okay." Alice assured me when I paused, "Go ahead." I didn't argue this time. I just followed Esme.

Whatever this talk with Alice was, waited until after I was done eating. It was just Esme and I in the kitchen, which I was fine with. Alice and Carlisle stayed in the living room, talking quietly with the others. I could hear their muted voices, but I couldn't hear what they said.

I kept looking in that direction, wondering what Alice could be telling them.

"You don't need to worry." Esme assured me quietly as I ate, and I looked up at her, "Nobody is going to bother you here." I stayed quiet. Unsure. I was unsure about the conversation part. Not the sandwich. There was nothing unsure about the sandwich. I was shocked I didn't choke on it as I did my best to down it.

"You don't have to be so worried." She tried again, and I looked back down.

"It's not that I'm worried about them bothering me." I replied quietly when I could, "I'm worried that they'll all look too closely. It seems like everyone's good at that lately." She smiled a little, "I think I'm more confused than worried about anyone here bothering me. It doesn't make sense."

"Why is that?" She asked gently.

"Because I don't want to leave." I admitted, pausing for a slow shake of my head, "I don't know how to explain. At home.." I sighed, pausing, "I can't say I'm unwanted, but it's tough."

I found it very easy to talk to her. Not like Alice, but in a different way. Like I knew she wouldn't actually do anything unless I told her she could. She would just listen. She was safe to talk to.

"I wish nobody would look." I continued admitting, "It just makes it harder."

"Alice is just worried." She replied, "She isn't trying to make anything harder on you."

"I know." I mumbled, "But that's just how it is. I can't have friends. If Jack knew I had friends, he'd be so mad." She chose not to reply to that, "I try not to piss him off, but nothing I ever do is right. I can never do anything right." I was coming closer to venting how I felt. I had to stop myself. I didn't let myself continue.

"Darling, let me tell you something." She sighed after a moment of silence, "No child should ever feel that way. That isn't how it's supposed to be." I knew that. I knew it was wrong what he did, but there was nothing I could do.

I studied her for a moment, before shaking my head and looking back down. I plucked a stray piece of lettuce from my plate. I wanted so badly to understand, but every time I tried to make sense of all the strange things happening lately, I just got more confused.

"How long has it been, honey?" She asked, and I pursed my lips, "Since you've eaten?" I knew what she meant. Did I want to admit that? Alice had already mentioned it'd been awhile, and she must have pieced it together when I couldn't eat a whole sandwich without taking a break.

"It's been.." I sighed, "It's been awhile."

"How long is awhile?" She asked, "I'm just trying to understand. You don't need to worry."

"Five days." I admitted quietly, shyly looking up. I hoped she wasn't mad. For the weirdest reason, I thought she would be.

"Five days?" She was only concerned. I nodded a little, "Honey, why would you go almost a week without eating anything?"

"The longest I've ever gone is eight days." I told her, "But that was during the summer. When I couldn't eat at school."

"Why?" She frowned, trying to understand.

"Long story." I sighed. I wanted to tell her it wasn't my choice, but that'd go too far into a subject I wasn't willing to stray into.

She kept trying, rewording her question, "Why so long this time, honey?"

"The weekend," I answered, "Monday was the field trip, yesterday I couldn't get to the cafeteria because Rachel was looking for me, and I stayed home today." I answered her honestly, "I stay away from Rachel if I can, just so she can't make fun of me."

She sighed, but was otherwise quiet. Nodding, she gave me a sad smile. Watching as I continued to eat. I really couldn't eat much, unfortunately. As amazing as it was, I could only eat as much as I had by taking breaks.

Once I was sure I was done, I forced myself to stand up. Hopping from the seat at the counter.

"Thank you." I told Esme as she rounded the counter to stand with me, "Really. Thank you."

"Anytime, sweetie." She replied gently.

I stepped back into the living room with her beside me, and looked around at everyone again. I wasn't sure if it was having been fed after so long, but I didn't feel quite as afraid anymore. Not of the crowded room, but another part of me wanted to just go. I didn't like how long this was taking.

I wasn't sure I wanted to trade three days in the box outside for this.

I was officially introduced to Emmett and Rosalie, and I greeted Jasper and Edward, who I hadn't seen since that day. Edward and Jasper both watched me like they had that day.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, looking up at Edward, "About lying to you about where I lived."

"I understand." He replied quietly, giving me a nod.

"A-And.." I continued, "I'm sorry. About that day. How I left. If I hadn't left, I'd have hit her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't." I wasn't about to mention anything about having to hide my tears from her as well. I felt weird enough, and what I'd said to Rachel before leaving probably freaked him out.

"Leandra," He sighed, "I'm going to be honest. The last I saw you, you looked terrified. Was that him?" I looked down. So far, he was the only one to have seen him. Face to face.

"Yeah." I mumbled, "That was him, but you would be scared too if he was mad at you."

"No." He said, "I wouldn't." He was so sure, and his tone was firm. Not like he was mad at me, but like he was mad at something. I'd heard that tone from him before, so it didn't really throw me off. He just didn't understand how dangerous Jack was. I didn't reply to what he said, keeping my eyes down.

"Please be honest with me." Edward continued after a few seconds of silence, "Did he hit you?" Looking up at him was involuntary, taken off guard yet again by his forward question. Why did it matter so much? My stomach did a nervous flip. A reaction I was getting used to around these strangers.

He seemed to read my expression in the several seconds I held his gaze, and worried, I looked back down. He just _didn't_ understand. He didn't know what he was asking. What he felt he needed to be so concerned about wasn't all there was. What he felt he needed to be so concerned about was just a small bit. A small part of the hell I lived through each day. He didn't understand. He didn't get it.

Before I could cry, I turned away and looked to Alice now where she stood by the couch.

"Uh.." I mumbled, "Okay. I've been here longer than five minutes."

"And has anything bad happened?" She asked in return. She did have a point there.

"Well, no.. But-"

"Besides," She continued, "I haven't even had a chance to talk to you yet." She had another point. That ended my arguing, and I sighed. Nodding a little.

I couldn't describe how tired I was. Like I just wanted to sleep, and having a full stomach only added to that. The emotion hadn't helped. So I sat down stiffly on the couch at Alice's urging, not liking how I could clearly feel all the eyes on me. They were quiet again. Not saying a word.

They had to see how tense I was. They had to see how tired I was. With how easily they seemed to notice things, there was no way they couldn't see those things. Reminding myself, I looked up at Carlisle.

"Is anyone going to tell me why you guys can see more than everyone else?" I finally asked.

"I need to ask what you mean by that." He replied and I sighed.

"I-I don't know." I mumbled, "Nobody notices me. That's just how it works." I looked to Alice, "That day? At the school? I was sure I'd never see any of you again. Why do you care?" That seemed to open it up for an answer. I could see it.

Alice was going to be the one to answer me, given the way she stepped forward. Probably because she'd been the one to have the most interaction with me, which I understood and deeply appreciated.

"Let me just start by saying that I know." She sighed, sitting on the couch beside me, "I know what he does." I stiffened a little, my eyes dropping to the carpet. I didn't like this. I didn't want this. I had gotten away from the subject before, in the garage, but now there was nowhere to go.

"No, you-"

"Yes." She interrupted me with a tone so sure, I couldn't deny again, "I know." I looked away, "Just trust me, okay? I know."

"Prove it." I mumbled stupidly, "How do you know? Even if he did do anything, there's no way you'd know it. E-Even then, there's nothing to prove."

"Raise your sleeves." She challenged, "Or your pant legs." I froze, stiffening even more in my seat, "Show me clean skin, and we'll stop this right now." I didn't say anything, nor do as she asked. I just sat there, holding her gaze nervously. She sighed, holding my gaze the best she could, shaking her head slowly, "And as if hitting you weren't enough.."

She spoke more to herself than to anyone else when I didn't say a word, but what could she possibly mean by that?

Then I understood.

I felt my face pale, and subtly, I drew in on myself in defense. Tensing as I felt my breath catch slightly.

I wasn't exactly scared, but that was the only way I knew how to describe it. How would she know? There was no way anyone could know about what happened at night, unless either I or Jack told someone. I was more guarded about that than being beaten, so there was no way I would ever tell anyone, and I knew for a fact Jack wouldn't.

She waited, probably waiting for me to continue denying it. I trembled, sitting there.

"I haven't, and I won't tell anyone." She told me, "That's up to you to do, but I just want you to know that you're not alone anymore, okay?"

"How do you know about that?" I asked almost silently, "Nobody knows about that."

"The same way you know who I am." She answered, "The same way you know who Edward is. Or Carlisle. The house. You've seen it before."

Her tone held just a hint of excitement to it. Her sadness was still very evident, however. Despite getting onto the subject I knew she wanted to touch on. Not enough to fully scare me, though. It was silent for a moment, as I thought about what she was telling me.

Was now my chance to get some answers? About the dream, about knowing them?

"When did you see us, Leandra?" She asked, "I know you did." I was quiet, not sure if I should say anything. I bit my lip, looking down again.

"It's okay." She offered, "You can tell me."

"I'm not crazy." I told her, and she instantly shook her head, "A-At least, I really hope I'm not."

"Of course you're not." She said, leaving no doubt she was telling me the truth, "I know you're not." I studied her expression, suddenly so sure I could trust her. Out of nowhere, I was calmer. Comforted by the fact that she was asking me about this. I was still tired, but not nearly as guarded.

The only movement in the room was Edward turning a little. Pacing a few slow steps away. That actually helped me, since there was one less person watching me.

"I don't even really know." I finally murmured, "I can't figure it out, but.."

I paused, hesitating again as she waited. Obviously very interested in what I had to say. I fidgeted nervously, glancing around. She wasn't the only one listening closely. Until I looked back to her. She was the one I was talking to. Not everyone else.

"I dreamed about you." I mumbled quietly, glancing at her, "Two days ago. The night before the field trip." I hesitated again, waiting for her to start laughing. That never came. Her expression stayed open, her kind smile wiping out any doubt that she found it funny, which only encouraged me to keep going.

"I don't remember it, but I dreamed about you." I continued, "About you, and Edward. Carlisle, Esme, the house. Everyone. I don't know why, or even how, but I did." She smiled a little more, "I didn't know that was where I remembered you from at first. I think that's why I asked you what I did."

I suddenly had to keep talking, knowing she was listening. Even knowing they were all listening.

"I don't remember anything, except you." I wished I could make my voice stronger, "And I remember.." I paused, trailing off, "It was a really long dream. I remember a lot happened in it, but I don't remember anything about what happened." She nodded a little, "It's there, though. I just.. Can't remember it yet. Like.." I frowned, "I know I know it, but I don't know what 'it' is."

Despite the calm I felt talking to her about this, the sudden overwhelming sadness I felt took me off guard. Glancing at her, I could see she knew how much this bothered me. The sad concern in her eyes told me she heard it, "I remember.. That I wished so much that the dream had been real, because even though I don't remember it, it hurt so much to open my eyes."

"I was just trying to forget it." I explained, "I just wanted to forget about it, because I knew no part of it was real. Just like all the other times. Then I saw you. In that class that day. That's all I know." All this emotion was making me tired.

"I think I can explain that." She finally spoke, and I looked up, "Leandra, are you familiar with gifts?"

"Gifts?" I asked quietly, frowning, "Like for birthdays and stuff?"

"No." She shook her head a little, "Abilities. Things you can do that other people can't do." I frowned a little more, glancing around the room again. They still seemed nervous, but not amused. This wasn't funny to them, but quite serious.

"Abilities?" I asked, looking to her again.

She smiled, "You can see the future."

I blinked in surprise. What? It took a moment for me to actually believe she meant what she said. Now I knew she had to be nuts.

"You're joking, right?" I asked, but given the fact that nobody smirked or even seemed amused as I looked around again told me they all believed it. They were somewhat tense, as if waiting for my reaction. I couldn't believe this.

"Right." I snorted, shaking my head, "Okay, take me back now."

"How else would you know me?" She asked quickly, "Or anyone else? Leandra, you know as well as I do that we've never met before, but part of your mind has met us before. That's why you're so confused." I glanced to Carlisle standing there. Listening quietly.

"I don't know." I sighed, frustrated, "Maybe I've just met someone like you before. That's the only thing I can think of." Even I knew that was a lie. I'd never met anyone like them. Ever. I knew damn well that it wasn't possible to ever meet anyone like them and not remember it.

"Leandra, I've seen you too." She said, "I saw you that day. You came in, just the way you did. I've seen what it's like for you at home. Maybe not in explicit detail, but I think I can imagine-"

"No you haven't." I argued again, "There's no way."

"I know this is really hard to believe, but just consider it for a second." She insisted, "Just give it some thought." I stayed quiet, watching her, "You've probably believed your entire life that things like what you can do are impossible, but you couldn't be more wrong. I know that better than anyone."

I shook my head, silently denying it this time. I didn't know what to say.

"Like I said," She murmured firmly but gently, "I haven't been able to see everything, but I don't need to to know that where you live is not a good place to live."

"Nothing's wrong." I insisted, "Just take me back. Please." I realized I was going back on everything she did manage to get me to admit, however slightly, but I didn't care.

I was back to denying, and she recognized that immediately.

"I know why you're scared, but you don't have to be." She murmured, "Not here. Nobody here is ever going to hurt you." I didn't know what to say to that. Looking down, my resolve crumbling even as I stood up.

"How else would I know?" She pressed, standing up with me, "Leandra, you can't go back."

"He said he'd try." I blurted, shaking my head, "You'd know that if you-"

"And you believe that?" She asked gently, "Do you honestly believe him?" She had me there. I shut up, looking away from her. I couldn't look at her straight anymore. Not with her telling me she knew.

"Trying, and doing are two totally different things." She told me. I glanced to the clock. I'd already been here for over an hour. I was cutting it too close for my taste.

"You're fine." She assured me, knowing what I was looking at, "He's going to be thirty minutes late today." I looked back to her, unsure. I was listening now. She was quiet for a moment, as if debating before she spoke again, "And when you told us two hours, you purposefully left off half an hour, so you essentially still have two more hours."

Taking half a step back, I was suddenly intimidated. Yet again, she managed to know something only I would know. There was absolutely no way she'd know that.

I was now closer to believing her, but I was also more afraid. What else would she know? And if she knew that, then there was a very good chance she actually did know everything about what Jack did to me.

"This isn't funny anymore." I whimpered. I didn't like the way she knew. I didn't like this. Once it became a slight possibility that she did know, I felt embarrassed. I didn't want anyone to know!

"It never has been." She replied, sighing. She sat back down, probably to ease my nerves. Everyone else stood around, and that was probably what made me so nervous now.

She sighed, "Leandra, what you have is a very powerful ability."

"I don't have anything." I couldn't help the tears that fell, "I'm nothing special."

I trembled where I stood now, suddenly so upset. I stayed quiet, closing my eyes. I just needed to rest. This was way too hard on me. It wasn't that I didn't want to believe her. I wanted to, but I knew that what she was telling me was untrue.

I wasn't special in any way. I was the kid nobody wanted. I was just something that existed in the background, avoiding attention like the plague. I avoided people, and tension as much as I could. Just for this reason.

I took a few deep breaths, forcing myself to calm down. I had to pull this off. I needed them to believe me.

"Take me back." I turned, "Time's up."

"Leandra-"

"You promised." I reminded her firmly, despite the tears that still trailed down my cheeks. I crossed my arms over my chest. I was being unreasonable, I knew, but I was scared. I wanted to save myself the only way I knew how. Lessening the punishment.

"I know that I promised, but if you'd just listen-"

"No." I said, "You said. You said you'd take me back if you couldn't convince me in five minutes. I'm not convinced, and it's been seven." She sighed, giving me a look as she sat there. I sighed as well, "Fine. I'll walk back myself."

I was fighting this, because I was scared. It wasn't that I didn't want to believe I had some purpose to living. That would have been amazing to have, but I was scared.

"You don't have to go back." Alice told me firmly, "Let us help you, Leandra. Please."

A restless sort of movement from the Edward and Jasper by the door tried to take my attention, but I couldn't focus on that.

"I can help you." She added, "I know you're afraid, but I can explain everything."

When she put it like that, it sent an almost echoing sense of familiarity to me. Even more than before, but as much as I tried, I still couldn't figure it out. I stood there, silent for a few seconds, trying to remember anything at all about that dream.

When I couldn't, but kept the sense of knowing, it scared me even more. I didn't like the pressure.

"Yes I do." I replied, "I have to go back." Nobody was listening to me, "Before he gets back, and knows I left." She waited. I recalled the threats of the box, and I took a step back. More convinced than before that here wasn't where I should be.

"Alice." Edward called her attention, gaining mine as well. He sighed sadly, and gave her a nod. I didn't know what that was supposed to be, but I wasn't about to waste more time by asking.

Silence followed me as I sighed heavily, giving Esme beside me a pleading look before I turned around and left the room. I was headed for the garage, knowing for sure that was a way out.

Pausing before I closed the door behind me, I listened. I could just make out their words.

"We've got to be careful." Alice murmured, "If we push too hard, she's going to run. The point of all of this was to get her to trust us. If she insists on going home, we have to let her."

"She's scared." Jasper's voice was quieter than the others.

"With good reason." Edward added, a hint of bitterness in his voice, "You can't even imagine, Carlisle."

"You can't be serious." Rosalie spoke up now, "We just let her go back?" She was louder than the others. The opposite of Jasper.

"If we push this, all it's going to prove to her is that we'll never listen to what she says." Alice reasoned quietly.

"So what?" Rosalie asked in return, "She's a kid. She's supposed to feel like she's not being listened to."

"She's not like other kids, Rose." Edward commented, probably trying to get her to lower her voice.

"I don't like the idea any more than you do," Alice spoke up again, "But it needs to be her choice to trust us enough to ask for help. That's just how it is. If we push her, she'll push back. She'll fight every step of the way, probably wind up resenting us, and that's not what we want. Not with her gift, and definitely not if she knew us before. We have to handle this now."

"Or I can go there right now and kill the son-of-a-"

"No, Rosalie." Esme corrected, "No. We can't just go around doing that."

"Tell me you don't want to do that as much as I do." Rosalie was angry, "Come on. So I won't kill him. I'll just break a few bones, and leave him alive."

She couldn't be serious. Just the thought scared me to death. Not because I was worried about him. Hell no. I didn't want any of them around Jack at all. I knew what he could do. She wouldn't get in a second hit.

I sighed, my head aching as I stopped trying to listen in. Did I really want to try walking back myself? It'd take me forever, ensuring I didn't get there before Jack did. My head was still spinning, but thankfully, not out of weakness anymore. I had to at least be grateful for that.

"Leandra." Alice called from inside the house. I quickly turned, sitting on the step just inside the garage. Acting like I hadn't just heard what I heard. The door opened behind me, and I glanced up at Alice, before looking back down at my hands on my drawn up knees. My fingers tensely smoothed over my knees, nervous now.

I mumbled quietly, "I never asked for any help." She sighed, stepping out with me.

"I'll take you back now." She murmured, offering her hand. I hesitantly took it, letting her help me to my feet, "Under one condition." I paused, waiting, "When you've finally had enough, don't hesitate to call me." That was easy enough to nod to. She handed me a laminated card, and I looked it over, "That's Carlisle's number. Any time of day you can reach him there. No matter what."

I nodded, looking it over.

"If you ever just need to talk, you can always just call anyway." She seemed so sad, "If you have any questions. Need advice, or anything like that. We'll be here."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I just wish I knew how to say it right." I sighed, looking back down at the card in my hands, "All I've ever, ever wanted was for someone to see me. To notice me. Maybe that's why I dreamed about you, because you did, but I never knew before how hard it would be to actually have someone see me. I'm afraid, but not enough to get you into trouble."

"You aren't getting us into trouble, Leandra." She assured me quietly.

"Because it's my fight." I continued, "Not yours. I can handle it. I know I can."

"The offer stands, Leandra." She sighed, "No matter how long it takes. Just remember that." I nodded, appreciating the thought more than she knew. I watched as she righted Carlisle's keys in her hand. She was old enough to drive? Of course she was. Most high schoolers could drive.

"Okay." I finally sighed as well, "I will." It was nice to have a fall-back plan anyway.

The ride back started quiet. Both of us silent, until I thought of something I wanted to ask.

"You say you can see the future too?" I asked quietly, looking over at her. She smiled a little, nodding, "Can you tell where he's taking me?" It was such an odd thing to consider, but I'd apparently been doing it without my knowledge.

"It's difficult to see you." She answered, "Which is why I haven't been able to see anything very specific." I nodded a little, "It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on by what I have seen, though."

"Why can't you see me?" I asked, frowning.

"I didn't say I couldn't." She replied, "Just that it's difficult. I do know that we'll be friends for a long time, so don't worry about that." I liked that thought.

"You're not mad at me?" I had to ask.

"Of course not." She replied, appalled at the very idea, "Why would I be mad at you?"

"For how I acted." I answered, looking down at my hands, "I do and say stuff I don't normally say or do when I'm scared."

"And we understand that, Leandra." She told me gently, "No, none of us are mad at you. You'll always have us on your side." She paused for a small smile, "Even if you were eavesdropping." I froze a bit in my seat.

"Was not." I mumbled, and she smirked.

"We also understand that it'll take a lot to earn your trust enough for you to let us help you." She continued, choosing not to argue with me, "But because of your gift, and because I say so, we're willing to try."

"Because you say so?" I found that a little amusing.

"I like you." She answered, "And my family tends to listen to what I say."

"I'm not very likable." I murmured after a minute of considering that. I had to give her some sort of heads up.

"Tell that to everyone else." She countered, "You've made an impression on them too."

"I have?" I asked, and she smiled. Nodding a little.

"And believe me." She added, "It takes a lot to make an impression on us." I smiled a little more, sitting back in my seat. That made me feel better.

"How do I make all these impressions without even knowing?" I muttered mostly to myself. She laughed quietly.

"See, Leandra.." She replied, "You firmly believe that there's no possible reason for anyone to look too closely. You believe that you're not worth the effort." I looked down, "But you're wrong. You are worth the effort. I could tell that right from the start."

"Because of this gift thing you think I have?"

"It's about more than the gift you have." She nodded a little, "It's more than that. You knew us before any of us met you. You don't remember yet, but you remember enough to get not only my attention, but everyone else's as well." I nodded again, looking over, "We just don't want to see you get hurt. That's all this was today."

"I know." I murmured in reply. I did know that.

True to her word, she pulled to a stop outside the house, and there was no sign of Jack home yet in the fading evening light. It got dark quickly when the clouds were this thick. She sighed, turning off the car, her smile long gone. Her eyes closed for a few seconds before she opened them. As if this really bothered her.

I sighed in relief, looking over at her. I was eased the second I noticed that Jack was still gone. He wouldn't know anything about me leaving the house, and that made me feel better, until I noticed her expression.

"What is it?" I had to ask, "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to leave you here." She laughed, but the sound definitely wasn't a happy one. She looked over at me, and I finally saw her emotion, "I feel like I'm tossing you to the wolves."

"I'll be okay." I mumbled, trying to ease her, "I always am."

"Just be truthful with me, Leandra." She almost plead, "I'm right, aren't I?"

I hesitated for about a minute, before I took a breath.

"Do you have to ask?" I asked in return, "Denying it doesn't do any good, does it?" She took a deep breath, a calming one as she held it. I could see how hard this really was.

"Can you honestly tell me," She murmured, quieter now, "That trusting someone else is harder than staying here and letting him beat on you?"

"Yes." I answered without hesitation, "It's a lot harder. There's.. More to it than just trusting someone else. You don't know what he's like. Besides.." I shrugged a little, "The best I could hope for would be to get sent away to some family that gets paid to beat me harder than he ever has."

"That's not true." She replied.

"I've heard stories." I defended my point.

She took a breath, and looked to me, "Just think. Think about what choice you're making before you walk away. There will always be a chance to change your mind, but do you really want it to get bad enough for you to have to? Leandra, I'm worried. That's also not easy to do."

I looked down.

"You know full well that what he does to you isn't right." She continued, "It's not right. You need to understand that."

"I know." I mumbled, "I know that he shouldn't hit me."

"Not just that." She murmured, "It's wrong. You know it's wrong." I knew that better than she obviously knew. I didn't respond to that one. Keeping my eyes down, studying my hands nervously clasped in my lap. I wouldn't bother denying it anymore, but I wouldn't say a word to confirm it.

"I am begging you." She stressed, "Begging you not to leave this car."

I took a breath, "I don't have another choice."

"I'm offering you another choice." She replied, "Right now."

"You don't know him." I whimpered, shaking my head, "You don't get it."

"What don't I get?" She asked, "Please. Explain it to me."

"I can't."

"Why not?" She asked, "Why can't you?"

"I just can't." I shook my head again, "You don't _know_."

"Look." She murmured, her tone soft, "All you have to do is tell me. Just say the word, and I'll take you back to the house. We'll sort everything out there."

"I can't."

"It's either that, or I camp out in your front yard, and wait for him to get here so I can kick his ass myself." She replied, and I looked to her sharply, "I can't leave you here. I can't do it. Not knowing what he does to you."

I held her gaze for a minute, and everything I saw there told me she knew exactly what was going on. I saw no reason to deny it anymore.

"You can't do that." I finally told her, "You-"

"Then let me take you back." She insisted, "Because that's the only way I'm leaving here. With you with me."

"Okay." I said, "Okay, fine." Just because she made me agree, didn't mean I would be cooperative.

She didn't wait for another word from me, immediately starting the car again.

**A/N: This is as ready as it's going to be. I hope it's acceptable. :)  
>THANK YOU to my amazing reviewers of last chapter. :D THANK YOU for taking the time to leave me your thoughts!<br>Chapter six probably won't be near as long, and may take about as long to come out. I still haven't gone over that one a final time yet.  
>Until Six, my friends! :D<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

What the hell was wrong with me?

Leaving while I still had a chance to get back before he even knew I left was one thing. Purposefully waiting for him to get home and not doing everything I could to immediately get back home was even worse.

We got there, and Carlisle was immediately there in the garage doorway. Obviously confused as Alice pulled me from the car. Taking my hand as I followed her a little easier back into the familiar house. Not that she left any option.

I attempted to remove my hand from hers, but it wouldn't budge. Not painfully, like it would have been with Jack, but just impossible to get my hand free.

"There." I muttered, "Now that you're here, I'll walk back." She didn't reply to that, "Alice?" I had to get back. Even if I was a little late in returning, I could still swing it just enough so he wouldn't suspect they had anything to do with why I was gone.

"I couldn't." Was all she said to Carlisle as we passed him into the house. I looked up at him as we passed, confused but having little choice in how this all played out now.

Was I in the middle of being kidnapped?

"Hey, she's back." Emmett seemed pleased at that, but Edward stood up.

"Alice?" He questioned her, glancing to me.

"First things first." Alice muttered, "We need to call the police-"

"No." I immediately stole my hand from hers, "You never said anything about the stupid cops. I won't do it."

"Easy." Esme entered the room, "What's going on?"

"Okay." Alice huffed, "That can wait a few hours if you want, but definitely by morning."

"Alice, I have to go back." I stressed quietly.

"If you leave here, I'm going right along with you." She crossed her arms. That was highly frustrating.

"You don't know what you're doing." I replied sharply, "Just.. Trust me on this, okay? You don't want anything to do with him."

"And why is that?"

I shut up. I saw her angle now. I saw what was going on.

I wasn't brave enough to make a run for it, and I doubted I'd get very far without her following me anyway. She knew that. She was trying to put herself between Jack and me, but she didn't know what she was doing by doing that. I couldn't tell her, though.

She knew something wasn't right. I'd confirmed that just a little bit ago, but she still had no idea how wrong it was. She needed me to fill in that blank, but I wouldn't.

With no way out, my back against a metaphorical corner, I didn't know what to do.

"God, what am I doing here?" I whimpered, sitting on the couch. I was literally shaking with fear. Covering my face briefly. Everything seemed to be happening quickly, and I hadn't yet come to terms with what this choice meant. All to keep Alice safe, I'd essentially just thrown myself into that box.

But no matter how much I hated that thought, I couldn't just let her go there. If I stayed here, she stayed here. If I went home, she went right along with me, and that was something I couldn't let happen. Just the thought of Alice anywhere near Jack made me just as nervous as the thought of him finding out I left. I was confused about which was worse.

I couldn't go home until I figured out a way to go back without her following me.

"I couldn't leave her there." Alice sighed, looking to Esme, "I couldn't do it."

Carlisle sighed, "Alice-"

"You'd do the same thing, I swear to you." She replied, "You have no idea how bad it is for her there."

"You don't even really know." I cried, looking up at her. Emotion shook my voice, "And you won't. You have to let me go back."

"I know enough to know that I can't do that." She countered, before she looked back to Carlisle, "I couldn't."

Carlisle took a breath, sighing it out as he glanced to Esme.

"I never should have said anything." I ignored the tears on my cheeks. Angrily clearing them when I couldn't ignore them anymore, but despite my own emotion, I stayed seated, "If I'd known you'd freak out like this, I would have just left the car as quick as I could. You have to let me go back."

"You go back, I go back."

"That's not fair." I snapped now.

"What's not fair is the way he treats you." She countered.

"He treats me just fine." I crossed my arms. She wasn't getting it.

"Are we back to that?" She sighed.

"Yes." I grumbled, "I'm sticking to it, because it's true. You're not being fair."

"You can go back whenever you want to, Leandra." She reminded me, "But you won't be going back alone."

"Stop it!"

I was so scared, I was lashing out a little. All I could think about was Jack getting home and finding me gone. All I could think about was him, his temper, and his threats. He was going to be _so_ pissed.

"Alice," Carlisle spoke up, "Can I have a word with you in the kitchen, please?" He wasn't mad. He was calm, which helped me calm down slightly. I didn't ask for this, and I had a feeling he understood that.

I glanced up at the couch beside me becoming occupied, spotting Esme seated there now as Alice, Carlisle, and Edward all left the room.

"He's gonna be mad." I sobbed, unable to help it. Esme's expression softened in sadness. My heart wouldn't slow down, so I just cried a little more.

"It's okay." She offered beside me, "Breathe, sweetheart." If I were to allow myself to breathe, my crying would only get worse. Fear squeezed my throat closed as I clearly remembered each time he emphasized what would happen if I ever left him. Voluntarily or not. Not that that was ever specified, but I knew that was the way it was. If I ever left him. For any reason.

It took me several minutes for me to be able to look up enough to see the audience I had. I was still terrified, but I could breathe. Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett all watched me with varying degrees of concern.

Alice, Edward and Carlisle all stayed talking in the kitchen. I didn't know what they were talking about, but I knew enough to know that it was about me. Esme stayed beside me, seeming a little lost.

How did I even know I was safe here? I didn't know these people, other than the fact that I'd dreamed about them. That didn't tell me shit about who they were or what they'd want with someone like me.

I folded my legs up, curling into a ball on the couch. Hiding the best I could in plain sight.

I was confused. That was clear. I had no idea where to even start to make sense of this situation. It seemed Alice wanted to stand between Jack and me, but I wanted to stand between Jack and her, which was where we were now. Any situation like that was bound to create some tension, but it wasn't up to her to stand between me and Jack. I didn't ask her to do that. I didn't ask for her help, but she was enforcing it anyway.

I looked over as Alice strode back into the room, a washcloth in her hand. She kneeled on the floor in front of the couch, and reached out. Taking my chin in her hand, she started washing my face for me. Gently, carefully smoothing the cloth over my cheeks, the subtle hint of soap on the cloth soothed me. Though I could do it myself, I didn't mind this.

I had to admit, the cool cloth felt nice on my overheated cheeks, but then I realized what she was doing. Jerking my head back, and looking at her with silent accusation in my eyes. She was uncovering my bruise. The thing that had alerted her that first day of what I hid.

"It's okay." She told me, and oddly enough, I became more cooperative. As if I had run out of resistance for a moment. I took a deep, shaky breath. A very needed one as she continued.

She glanced at Carlisle after a few silent moments, "She covers this every day. Every single day. With as good as she is at it, I don't doubt this is the only one she's ever had."

I stayed quiet. If she was hoping I'd add something, she was wrong. I wasn't ready to face this yet, and I knew she was urging me in that direction. I knew what was coming.

"Leandra." I looked over as Carlisle took the chair to my left, "Before we can do anything at all, I need you to tell me." I was well aware of that, but I hid again instead. I wasn't ready for this!

I wasn't doing this.

"Leandra?" He prompted again.

"Maybe we should let her calm down first." To my surprise, Emmett spoke up, "The kid's freaking out, and honestly, I can't blame her."

"I agree." Esme offered sadly, "This has to be terribly hard on her." I glanced to her, grateful for her attempt.

"Leandra." Alice spoke up this time, and I just sobbed again, "Come on. I know how hard this is on you. Believe me, I get it, but I know you have it in you. Just say it. That's all you have to do, and everything will stop. I promise."

I didn't know what could potentially get me into trouble here, so I stayed quiet. Neither denying or confirming. Did she really think I'd give up my life that easily?

"I can't ask any more specifically than that." She continued, "You need to tell me. It has to be your words, Leandra."

"Can I go back yet?" I asked instead, and she sighed a little.

"Just tell me." She urged. Reaching up, laying her hands over mine.

More silence.

What she wasn't getting, what I couldn't tell her, was that I'd been trained against this very same scenario. The hardest amount of pressure wouldn't get me to budge. I wouldn't say a word about it until I wanted to, and that would never happen. All it would do was make it harder on me. Standing against the pressure would only hurt me, but I had to do it.

No matter what, I had to keep my mouth shut. No matter what, I would keep what he did a secret. No matter how much I hated it, or how much someone pushed me, I would never budge.

"Leandra, please.." Her tone was softer, "Tell me. Just talk to me." I finally looked back up. Peering at her over my knees. Trying so hard to tell her with my eyes that I couldn't do it. I couldn't give in. I shook my head slightly, and despite the tiniest amount of movement, I knew she saw it.

"I just need you to say something, and we can make it stop." She added, "For good. You'll be safe. Don't you want that?" Of course I wanted that. I wanted that more than anything, but I didn't want to face the consequences of failing. She continued, "You don't have to worry. He won't get to you again if you just say something. No matter what he told you. Don't listen to him."

Nothing. They didn't know him. She was on the right track, but no.

"Alice." Edward murmured, gaining her attention from the other side of the room. Both she and I looked over as he gestured her to follow him again. She sighed, patting my hands as she slowly stood up.

"Let me try." Emmett spoke up, and I looked over at him as he stood up, replacing Esme beside me as she stood up as well. He plopped down beside me casually. Let him try? What would he do? I braced myself for anything. I tightened in my ball, glancing over at him nervously. He just smiled as he looked at me.

"Hi." He muttered.

"Hi." I replied, my quiet tone hesitant. He looked me over briefly, before he met my eyes again.

"How do you do that?" He asked.

"Do what?" I asked in return.

"Make yourself that small without even trying." He said, and I shrugged a little, "Well, it's impressive. Seriously, how tall are you?"

"I don't know." I admitted quietly. Where was he going with this?

"Here." He said, "Stand up." I hesitated as he stood up first, watching him, "Come on. I'm not gonna bite you."

He urged me forward with his hand, and slowly, I stood up as well to take the free spot beside him. Waiting for his point.

Touching the top of my head with his hand, he measured my height to his.

"Well," He said, "I'm over six feet. About six-four, and you're about half of me. That puts you at.. Really, really small." I smiled a little at that. That was funny.

"I knew that already." I mumbled, glancing up at him.

"Are you sure you're nine?"

"Pretty sure, yeah." I replied, "Last time I checked."

"What do you weigh?" He asked, and again, I shrugged, "Any estimates?"

"They said a few months ago in school that I weighted forty-nine." I shrugged gently again, "But I probably lost some since then."

"Forty-nine?" He asked, surprised, "Pounds?" What else?

"Yeah." I murmured.

"That settles it, then." He said, "We've gotta fatten you up." I smiled again, looking down. He was pretty funny. He wasn't trying to poke me into talking. He sighed as I sat back down. I didn't curl up again, though. He took the open seat beside me.

"Look here, short-stuff." He muttered, "No one here is trying to ruin your life. I know it seems like it's the end of the world, but I swear its not." He'd moved closer to making me clam up. He had to have seen that by the slight distrustful way my gaze hardened.

"It's not that." I stared down at my hands in my lap, "I know you're just trying to help me."

"Come on, shorty." He prompted, "I'm not that bad of a person, am I?" That, I was not expecting. Did he really think I thought that?

"No." I replied honestly, "I don't think you are."

"Then what is it?" He asked.

"I can't tell you that." I replied, shaking my head. I knew if they were going to leave me alone, I had to give them something. I spoke slower now, choosing each word carefully before I allowed myself to say it.

"There are things I can't say." I admitted quietly, "Things I won't say. No matter how good of a person you are, or how bad I want to."

"Would you prefer to have an officer here?" Carlisle asked, and I looked to him.

"No." I slowly shook my head, "Not now, not ever." I looked back down, "I hate them."

"Why?" Carlisle asked.

"They can't help me." I admitted, drawing my legs up again, "Nobody can."

"They can help you if you'd just-"

"Nobody can." I repeated, shaking my head, "You're wasting your time. I won't say anything."

Carlisle sighed quietly, standing up. Probably to go talk to Alice. For a brief moment, I felt the bitterness again. It wasn't their fault, and I didn't exactly blame them. I just hated the situation. I hated the fact that I couldn't say anything.

"Are you trying to protect him?" Jasper's question startled me, as I hadn't seen him approach to take Carlisle's vacated seat. I looked to him.

"Fuck no." I muttered, and beside me, Emmett stifled a chuckle.

"Goodness." I heard from Esme quietly, but I didn't focus too much on that.

"Then why won't you say anything?" Jasper asked.

"There's nothing to say." They had gotten exactly full circle with me, and they knew that, given Jasper's sigh. Beside me, Emmett was having trouble keeping his laughter back.

"I think you're irritating him, shorty." Emmett muttered to me.

"Good." I replied, "Just because I had to come back here doesn't mean I'm spilling everything."

"Had to?" Jasper asked. I fell quiet, carefully choosing my words for a reply.

"Alice said she'd wait there for him if I didn't agree to come back here." I explained, "I didn't want that, so I agreed. I was going to just walk back myself when we got here, but she won't let me."

"Why?" He asked, "Why didn't you want her to wait there?"

"I like her too much." I answered.

"Did you think she'd somehow be in danger?" Jasper asked, and I suddenly found my silence again. Staying quiet. Holding his gaze for a few seconds before I looked down.

"How about this." Emmett eventually sighed, "Shorty, can you tell me anything at all about the rest of your family?" Them? Though it confused me as to why they'd want to know anything about them, that was far easier to talk about.

"My mom's a drunk," I started thoughtfully, "My dad ditched when I was little, and I've been stuck with Jack most of my life. I don't know where my mom went, I don't know where my dad lives, and if I ever see him, I'll stab him in the eye with the nearest thing that'll fit. I don't know anyone else, or even if there is anyone else."

"Wow." Emmett muttered, looking to Jasper.

I sighed, squeezing my legs tighter with my arms, "I've thought about it a lot." That was the only explanation I had.

"Clearly." Jasper murmured.

"Why do you hate your dad?" Emmett asked.

"I don't even remember what he looks like." I admitted, "He left when I was really little, like.. Two or three. I haven't seen or heard from him since."

"At all?"

"Nothing. Not even a post card." I shook my head a little, "The only thing he ever gave me was his looks, I guess."

Jasper sighed again, standing up.

"Like I said." I muttered, looking up at him, "You're wasting your time. Nobody wants me. Nobody but Jack, and even then. I don't think he even really wants me."

I looked over as Alice and Edward returned. Taking a breath, which unfortunately resulted in a yawn. It'd been awhile since I'd felt this tired.

"Can I go back now?" I mumbled, watching as Alice got to my side.

"Leandra, what do you have against the police?" She asked instead. I looked down. She waited several seconds, until she spoke again, "Please don't tell me Jack is a cop himself." God, wouldn't that be horrible?

"No." I replied easily, "No, that's not it. Not even close." She sighed, clearly eased a bit, "He hates them just as much as I do."

"Then what is it?" She asked.

I couldn't tell her that either. My silence answered for me. She had to be catching on by now. Confirmed by her words a moment later.

"Another one you're not going to answer?" Alice eventually asked. I nodded, "Why won't you answer?"

"Because there's nothing to say." I repeated, and she sighed right along with Jasper this time, "No cops."

"Can you at least give me a number?" She asked, and for a second, I was confused.

"Number?" I asked.

"Between one and ten, how bad are you hurt?"

"I'm fine." I told her, and she actually groaned this time.

"All I want to know is how bad he's hurt you." She murmured, "Just give me a number." Getting me to give her a number was bad for me on two points. One, it would mean I was willing to budge on some things, which I really wasn't. Two, it would mean I would go back on all my attempts to lie. It would mean they were right. I didn't want that.

"I'm fine."

My lack of cooperation was starting to really grate on her nerves, and I knew it. The closer it got to the time Jack got home, the more I insisted that I go back. I knew that had to say a lot, but I couldn't help it. Eventually, the questioning slowed, which I appreciated as running them in circles was irritating me.

Carefully picking, choosing each response. Giving them nothing they could use. Without me admitting to anything or making a complaint myself, there was nothing anyone could do. Sure, they could call the cops if they wanted to. I'd lie to a room full of cops if I had to. I'd lie my ass off. I'd lie until I couldn't talk anymore. I'd always lie, and I'd make damn sure they believed me.

When there were less than thirty minutes left, I got _really_ quiet.

My heart pounding quick, staring at the clock. Like I expected him to miraculously know exactly where I was and come to get me the second he found out I was missing. Trembling in my little ball, my shallow, tight breathing shaking along with me. I knew it was audible in the silent room, especially to Alice kneeling on the floor beside me, as I could even hear it above the sound of my heartbeat.

They didn't know what they were doing, that much was clear. If they did, they'd know that I had every right to feel as afraid as I did. Alice wouldn't keep trying to calm me down with words I wasn't paying any attention to.

Emmett tried to distract me by turning on the TV and inviting me to watch, but that didn't work. It was as if I could feel each moment I got closer to Jack finding out, and I wasn't dealing well with the pressure.

I'd already tried once to make a run for the door, but Alice was faster than I was. Explaining the entire way back to the couch that I really didn't need to worry this much. I did need to worry! That's what she wasn't getting!

I wasn't exactly fighting her, though. If I was really intent on getting away, I'd be fighting a lot harder than I was, even through my emotion.

I was torn. I wanted so bad to believe her, but I was also afraid. Scared of what not going back would bring me. The pressure increased. My own pressure. Torn between protecting Alice, and trying to protect myself. I didn't like the spot I was in.

So I sat there. Two minutes until the time Alice said he'd be getting back, hardly daring to breathe at all. She was waiting. I knew what she was waiting for, and I was waiting for it too. Once the time had passed when I knew he'd find out I was gone, the pressure would ease. I knew that, but I couldn't imagine it'd ease too much until I knew for sure he wasn't going to come flying through that door after me, chase me down, and strangle me on the spot.

"You don't know what you're doing." I whimpered, looking to Alice, "You really don't."

"I would know if you'd just tell me." She replied, returning my gaze, "But even then, I can't let you go back there."

I fell quiet again, my eyes back on the clock. Any second now, he'd been getting home to find out I wasn't there, and guaranteed, he wouldn't take it well. I wondered how many more holes I'd find in the walls, or how many windows would break. I wondered how bad it would be when I finally did go home.

"There." Alice spoke up a few minutes later, "See? You're still alive." For now.

I had to admit, though. It was easier to calm down after that. Maybe it was some sort of resigned-to-my-fate calm, but I couldn't keep that amount of tension up anymore. So I decided to watch the TV now instead of the clock.

"Will you cooperate now?" Alice asked, and wordlessly, I shook my head. I was already a runaway. A fugitive. Would I make that worse by singing like a bird? Nope.

"That's okay." She sighed, but I could tell she was disappointed, "How about something to wear for tonight?" I looked over, "To sleep in."

"I'm okay." I replied, "Thanks, though."

"I guess you were right." Rosalie muttered, her gaze on Alice as she stood up, "But weren't you the one that said not to push her?"

I watched after her as she left the room. Esme immediately stood up and followed her, which worried me a little. I hoped Rosalie wasn't in trouble for saying that.

"Don't mind her." Alice told me, offering a small smile.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, "I hear worse than that every day."

"Like what?" She asked.

"Nice try." I grumbled, "I only meant what I hear at school." She didn't believe that, but she wouldn't say it.

"Kid's a brick wall." Emmett muttered casually from the other end of the couch as he flipped through channels on the TV, "I don't know why you keep butting heads with it." I smiled a little. Finally. Someone got it. I felt oddly proud of myself for holding out this long. Not a shred of information for them to run with.

"What's going through that head of yours?" Alice asked me, "You want to trust me. I know you do. What's stopping you?" I focused hard on the TV, my small smile fading.

"I can't." I finally replied, "I do want to, you're right. More than anything, but I can't." I couldn't do that to her. Trusting her meant relying on her. Relying on someone else was not only bad news for me, but for them as well.

"Alice." Carlisle called for her again, and I half wondered what they said about me when they left the room like that. I almost didn't want to know. I watched Alice stand up, and follow Carlisle toward the kitchen. Off toward where Rosalie and Esme had disappeared to.

I was tired. There was no doubt about that, and whatever movie was on the TV was putting me to sleep. I did feel a little uncomfortable sitting alone with Emmett, but I was too tired to care much at that point, much less move.

On the other end of the couch, Emmett glanced to me.

"Tired?" He asked, and I sighed.

"No." I lied, despite the fact that my head rested back against the couch, "So how long am I going to be held hostage?"

"Alice is pretty good at doing that." Emmett allowed.

"I'd kind of like to go home, and get it over with." I admitted.

"Get what over with?" He asked, glancing over again.

"Whatever grounding I get for running away." I replied, shrugging a little. I used that term loosely.

"You'd have to sort that out with your captor in there." He gestured toward the kitchen, "She doesn't know when to give up." I didn't know what to say to that. It confused me to realize that I wasn't so sure I wanted Alice to give up. I didn't want her to give up on me.

This was the most effort anyone had ever showed. Someone obviously unwilling to take 'I'm fine' as an answer. For once, part of me wanted someone to be more stubborn than I was.

I chose then to get more comfortable. I could be here awhile.

Tucking my feet to the side, my arm propping my head up on the armrest. My heavy eyes felt heavier this way, though.

"You're sure you're not tired?" Emmett asked, and I opened my eyes again.

"Nope." I replied, and he chuckled.

"Because you sure look tired, and it's been a pretty busy day for you."

I shrugged a little, otherwise not responding. Watching the screen, focused on it far more than I should be, to not notice how I couldn't concentrate on a damn thing that was going on in the movie.

"Kid's falling asleep in here." I jumped awake at Emmett's call minutes later. I had been. I didn't like that thought, so I stood up.

"No I'm not." I grumbled.

"Leandra," Alice came back into the room, "The guest room is just up the hall. If you're tired-"

"I'm fine." I sighed, "When am I going home?"

"Not tonight, so you might as well sleep." She replied, "Get some rest, Leandra."

This was frustrating as hell.

"Keeping me here isn't helping me." I told her, shaking my head, "You're only making it worse for me when I go back."

"You don't have to go back." She stressed again, "Just tell me."

"I can't do that." I was getting pissed. Really upset.

"You can." She countered, "But you won't. Why won't you?"

"I can't tell you that either." I denied instantly, "How many times do I have to say that?"

"You can." She repeated, "Leandra, he can't get to you here. Just tell me. That's all you have to do."

"You're not hearing me." I shook my head, but I sat back down. I was tired, and she knew that, but if she thought that I'd break just because I was tired, she was wrong. It would take more than that. It would take more than just a few hours to get that from me, and I had a feeling she was starting to see that.

"I hear you." She assured me, "I just know exactly where you're at right now. You're afraid, thinking he's going to punish you for talking. You think he's going to know you told the second you tell, but I'm telling you. He won't ever get to you again if you just tell me."

"Yes he will." I sighed, "You don't know him. You don't know what he's like. You don't know what he can do, and as much as I wish I didn't, I do know him. I know what he's like, and I know what he can do."

"He won't-"

"I know you need me to talk before you even think about calling the cops, and that's why you haven't yet." I muttered, "I know you can't do anything, because you need to know I'll cooperate. I know you won't call them just to have them waste their time, because you know I'll lie right to their faces, and you know they'll believe me. You need me to admit it to you, and you need me to admit it to them. I'm not going to. I never will, so you might as well let me go back."

"My, you are stubborn." She sighed.

"Thanks." I replied, "I know how these things work."

"Jack made sure of that, didn't he?"

"Yes." Finally! Something I could answer without giving too much away. She seemed a bit surprised at first that she finally got an answer from me, before she spoke again.

"He taught you."

"My whole life." I murmured carefully.

"Leandra," She slowly sat beside me, "What else did he teach you?"

I hesitated, biting my lip, "I can't tell you." She sighed, before I continued, "But I believe him."

I looked over, glancing at Carlisle as he entered the room. Immediately looking down again.

"You need to let me go back." I mumbled, shaking my head. I'd been too close to cooperating. Carlisle's arrival stopped that right in its tracks, thankfully.

"How about this.." She murmured, "Get some sleep, because it looks like you really need it, and we'll talk more in the morning."

"I'm fine." I sat back with another sigh. That was obviously a blatant lie, but if it showed my unhappiness, I was willing to do anything.

That was about it for the conversation. She didn't seem mad at me, or even irritated. She seemed so sad, like before. She saw my nervousness. My reluctance to believe in what she was saying. I wanted to believe her, but I already believed Jack, and I knew he wasn't happy. Pissing him off on purpose like this was as good as signing my own death certificate.

She left me alone after awhile, and I went back to watching TV. I didn't even remember laying down, but Emmett didn't rat on me this time. He stayed quiet, hardly paying much attention to me at all. Of course, me curled into an insecure ball on my side could have had everything to do with that.

Just closing my eyes to rest them wasn't so bad, though. Just for a minute. I could do that. It was definitely relieving to do so. Soothing my tired eyes, and easing the headache I was developing.

I never even realized how deeply I snoozed until I jumped awake at a thin blanket being laid over me. Whimpering in my sleepy state.

I laid in the same position I must have fallen asleep in. Laying almost completely on my stomach, my cheek against the couch. The TV and most of the lights had been turned off, leaving the now empty and quiet room lit, but dimly. I yawned deeply, trembling with the force of it.

"I'm sorry, honey." It was Esme, "I didn't mean to wake you up." I didn't even try to sit up or move. I was too worn out.

"It's not your fault." I mumbled, resting my eyes closed, "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

"It's late." She murmured quietly, "Would you like me to show you the guest room?"

"Can I stay here?" I asked quietly. I was comfortable where I was, and really didn't feel up to moving. If I were to move, I'd be wide awake again. I didn't exactly want to be in the way, either, but I had to ask.

"Of course." She replied easily, "Get some rest. We'll figure everything out in the morning." I nodded a little, already half asleep, "The bathroom is just up the hall, first door on your left. If you need anything at all, I'll be upstairs. First hall, third door on the left."

I doubted I'd need anything, or would even dare try to find her in the middle of the night with Carlisle around, but I nodded anyway. I was pretty easily managed. Just like a cat. Show me the litter box and the food bowls, and I pretty much fended for myself. If I could have fit under the coffee table, I'd have hidden myself away there.

Too exhausted to stay awake, I didn't even remember her leaving the room.

When I did wake up later, I had turned over. Curled into a ball on my left side, facing the back of the couch. It took me a minute to remember everything that happened yesterday, and for a second, I was almost afraid to believe I was anywhere but in my room. Considering I laid curled up completely covered by the blanket, head and all, I was a little afraid to pull back the blanket.

I went to move, but the pain was intense. My bruises all protesting at once, and not being used to sleeping here or in this position only added to the pain. I was stiff and uncomfortable.

"Ow." I whimpered quietly.

"Leandra?" I flinched a little, whimpering as the movement brought me pain, at Esme's voice beside me. Well, at least this is definitely real.

"Ow." I whimpered again.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" I forced myself to sit up, pushing back the blanket. Oh, I'm perfectly fine. I just feel like I got ran over sometime in the last few hours.

"Sleeping sucks." I mumbled, looking up at her. I stretched as deeply as I dared, sighing. I looked up at her, "Sorry for falling asleep."

"Don't be sorry." She replied, "It was perfectly alright. Did you sleep okay?"

"I'm surprised I moved at all." I admitted, "I don't even remember dreaming." Which was a good thing.

She smiled, "I'm glad."

"So what now?" I asked quietly, "Is Alice going to keep poking for an answer that I'll never give her, or will she let me go back?"

"For now," Esme answered, "It's breakfast time. What would you like?"

"I'm still full from yesterday." I laughed a little, surprised, "I don't eat very much."

"I've heard." She replied, "So I'm guessing you'd prefer something light?" I nodded a little.

"Can I come with you?" I asked, and she smiled, "I don't feel like getting pounced on yet." I gave a brief look around, glad not to see Alice anywhere for once.

"Of course." She told me, and I stood up. Carefully, of course, as any fast movement was out of the question when I felt like this.

I followed her quietly into the kitchen, checking over my shoulder like I expected to be plucked up at any second.

"This place is so big." I finally muttered as I sat down, "Much bigger than where I live. I think I could fit my whole house on the first floor. Then again, there's only three, now two of us living there."

"Does this house still seem familiar to you?" She asked, and I nodded a little.

"I almost forgot about that." I sighed, "I haven't thought much about it since Alice brought me back here the second time yesterday."

"She only means well, honey." She assured me.

"I think she might be more stubborn than I am." I shook my head, "That's definitely a first for me."

"She's just determined." Esme replied, "She's so sure that all you need is time."

"She just doesn't get that I _can't_ tell her anything." I muttered, "I would if I could. I even want to, but I _can't_." I took a breath, "To some people, things like this are possible. To me, it's impossible. Just something I can't do. I'm not trying to be a pain in the ass. I have no choice in it."

She sighed, "I think you're too busy worrying about everyone else to worry about yourself." I looked up, "Am I right?" I didn't reply.

"Rosalie said she wanted to go there yesterday." I said instead, "Why?"

"You heard that, huh?"

"It wasn't hard to hear." I admitted, which was true. Rosalie had been easier to hear than everyone else. Confirming my eavesdropping the day before.

"She refuses to tolerate any mistreatment caused by someone like him, Leandra." She explained, "Especially of children."

I pursed my lips, "And she's so sure."

"She's positive." She corrected, placing a bowl of cereal in front of me, "We all are, but without your cooperation, there isn't much we can do. Without your cooperation, there isn't much the police can do."

"I know." I replied, sliding the bowl closer to me, "I count on that."

"Don't you want to be helped?"

"Yeah." I murmured, "I do, but.." I hesitated, thinking hard about how to answer without giving anything specific away, "I believe him more than I believe anyone who tells me they can keep me safe."

"So he's threatened you?" She asked, and I hesitated again, "It's okay, sweetie. I won't say anything unless you want me to. I just need to understand." I believed her on that one.

"He's showed me." I murmured quietly as she came around the counter to sit with me, "I know what'll happen if I say anything at all. That's why I'm so careful. That's why it's impossible."

"What did he threaten, honey?"

"I can't tell you that." I mumbled, "I'm still not giving anything specific away."

"I understand." She sighed.

"I just.." I shrugged a little, "I don't want that more than I want to risk anyone trying to save me."

"I see."

"You don't know what he can do." I warned quietly, looking over at her, "I don't know how he does it, but he can get away with anything. I'm proof enough of that, so I'm not stupid. I normally always do everything he tells me to do, because that's the only way I know of to keep him happy. Or happy enough." I looked down, "He's going to be so mad."

"Is he influential?"

"What?" I didn't understand the term.

"Is he good with people?" She clarified.

"Very." I replied, "And he's the best liar I've ever seen in my life. Sometimes I can't even tell when he's lying or not. Sometimes, I don't even think he knows that he's lying. I try to be as good as he is, but sometimes, I mess up. That's probably why I'm here right now." I sighed, "I should have been better."

"I don't think it would have made a difference, sweetie." She admitted quietly, "To be completely honest, I know it wouldn't have." I looked over at her, "I just want you to understand that you don't have to be afraid. You don't need to question every motive, or doubt our sincerity."

"It just doesn't make sense." I murmured, "I don't know why anyone as amazing as Alice is, or any of you would ever want to help someone like me. She said it's because I don't see it, but that doesn't help me figure it out any easier."

"It's true." She replied, "We normally don't reach out like this, but with a solution so simple versus the benefits, it's the right thing to do."

"But it's not simple."

"I think Alice is starting to see that." She allowed, "This was bound to be difficult from the start, and she knew that, but she's such a caring person. She had to try. I think she might have underestimated how tough it could be to make any progress when someone is holding onto fear like you do."

"I'm not worth it." I muttered, "I've been saying that all along, and nobody's listened."

"You couldn't be more wrong, honey." Esme murmured, offering a sad smile, "The fact that you insist so much that you're not worth it is reason enough to prove that you are."

For the oddest reasons, hearing that from her made me want to cry. I'd never had anyone tell me that before, and though it did make me want to cry, I didn't want Esme to see it, so I turned away. Looking down at my hands on the counter.

Once I was sure I could keep from crying, I looked back over at her.

"I have to go back." I told her, "It's not because I want to, but I have to go back. Just so he knows I was good. I have to go back."

"I know." She sighed, smoothing my hair down my back. I wasn't used to the gesture, tensing at first. I hadn't felt that before, but to her, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. I looked back and up at her hand, looking to her next. She smiled at me, which eased that nervousness.

"I'm not used to that." I explained quietly.

"I'm sorry." She replied, moving her hand away.

"But it's not bad." I told her, and she smiled again.

Taking the hint, she did it again, and for a second, I considered what it would be like to get used to that. Just allowing myself a second to think about how it felt, how comforting it was. Just allowing myself one moment to think about how much more I preferred the comfort to the pain. I'd always thought I would, but now it was real.

But that didn't help. I still had to go back. It was nice to daydream, but reality couldn't be ignored. Reality. Jack. My mother's husband, my stepfather. My burden. The one that held the leash, the key to the cage. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get away from it. Not because I didn't want to. I couldn't. It was impossible.

I sighed sadly, looking to her again. She read my expression easily.

"Alice went about this all wrong." She spoke again, her smile fading with sadness, "I can't blame her a bit, but it would never have worked out going about things this way." I shook my head, agreeing with her, "I think she's starting to see that too. I'll go talk to her."

Finally, someone was hearing me.

"Thank you." I told her quietly, and she patted my hand, smoothing my hair once more as she stood up.

I sat there alone for just for a minute, before Emmett's arrival took my attention. He seemed almost hesitant to approach me, but it could have been the way I looked at him. He offered a small smile, which I tried to return, but it definitely wasn't my best.

"I'm surprised you didn't book it during the night." He told me conversationally.

"Nah." I shook my head, looking back down at my bowl, "I'd probably get lost trying. Besides. I was too tired to even try."

"You couldn't get lost." He replied, taking the open seat beside me, "Just follow the driveway to the highway." Despite sitting next to me, he still seemed to manage to keep his distance. Oddly enough.

"I'm not the smartest person around." I reminded him, "I'm actually pretty stupid."

"Now, that I doubt." He muttered, "Come on, shorty."

I shrugged, chasing the cereal around the bowl with my spoon. I didn't know what else to say at that point. I'd already said everything I needed to say. Several times, actually. I was even starting to get on my own nerves with every lie that left my mouth.

"So you remember this place, huh?" He asked, and I looked over again.

"Sort of." I mumbled, "It's weird, and really hard to explain."

"Try?" He requested.

"Well," I sighed, "It's like.. Well, you know how sometimes you wake up with the feeling like you forgot something important? Or like.. Like there's something you're trying to remember, but it takes it a minute to come to you?"

"Yeah." He smiled a little.

"It's like that." I replied, "Except it's probably a million times more confusing and it's taking its time coming back to me. Running into things and people I dreamed about only makes it more confusing, instead of helping it along."

"I get it." He nodded a little, "See, that wasn't so hard to explain, was it?"

"It makes it easier when people don't laugh at me." I admitted.

"It's not a joke." He replied, "Why would I laugh at you? I think it's actually pretty cool."

"You do?" I asked.

"Hell yeah." He said, "I can't do that. Not many people out there can, shorty." Well, when he said it like that..

"I still don't think I can." I muttered, "It's a little hard to believe."

"Even with the evidence right in front of you?" He asked, "Or I should say, in there." He lightly poked my forehead. I shook my head away from his finger, leaning away a little.

"Even then." I sighed, "I think I just need more time, though. My mind keeps trying to make up reasons, but none of the reasons it comes up with make sense."

"That's because you already know the reason." He told me, "You just won't accept it."

"Maybe." I allowed with a shrug, "It's just things like this never happen to me. I've never really had any worth to anyone before, so someone telling me I can do this amazing thing.. I guess it scares me."

"Hey, imagine how I feel." He replied, "You know me from a dream you had. How scary is that?" I couldn't help smiling a little. The way he said that was funny.

"I don't know you-know you." I pointed out, "You're just familiar."

"And the others?"

"Same." I sighed, "Talking to you now doesn't help me remember before. God, that sounds so crazy." I covered my face.

"No it doesn't."

"Who knows?" I focused on my bowl again, "Maybe I am nuts."

"I really doubt it."

"It wouldn't be impossible." I grumbled, "Not with the shit I've seen." He stayed quiet for several seconds. Giving me time to stand up and round the counter to the sink with my bowl. I couldn't eat. My stomach was in too many knots.

"It's not over, you know." He spoke up, and I looked to him again. Hesitating briefly.

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly.

"Nobody's giving up on you." He replied. He sighed as he stood up, "I've seen Alice determined before, but this is a whole new level."

"I can be just as determined, you know." I muttered.

"I believe it." He chuckled.

"Think I can make it out the front door without anyone noticing?"

"No." He replied, "I'd notice."

"Sure, you'll notice." I shrugged, "But would you say anything?"

"You have this way of turning everything around." He was amused, "Sorry, shorty. If I didn't say anything, Alice would skin me. She's gonna save you if it kills her."

I watched as he turned before I sighed to myself, "It might just kill one of us."

He paused, "What was that?"

"Nothing." I shook my head, turning on the faucet. If only they knew.

"No." He came back over, "What did you just say?"

"Nothing." I repeated.

"Before that."

"I didn't say anything before that." I kept my eyes down.

"I heard you say something." He insisted, sitting back down.

I shook my head, rinsing out my bowl even more thoroughly.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating this is?" He asked.

"Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to not be listened to when I _do_ say something?" I asked, "And you wonder why I don't bother to explain?" I hesitated, before I looked down, "Sorry."

I really needed to learn how to keep my mouth shut better. Being opinionated only led to pain.

"For what?" He asked.

"Talking to you like that." I muttered, laying my now clean bowl gently in the dish rack beside the sink, "I normally don't. I'm sorry."

"You know, shorty." He sighed, leaning his arms on the counter, "You seem like someone with a whole hell of a lot to say." I shrugged a little, "Why don't you say it?"

"Because I'm not that stupid." I replied, "I know what talking back gets me, and it's nothing good. Why bother?"

"Are you this secretive all the time?"

"Most of the time," I muttered, leaning on the counter myself, "I don't have to be."

"You're pretty good at running people around in conversational circles." He pointed out.

"I've had practice."

"I can tell." He replied, chuckling a little.

With that, I attempted a small smile and moved away. Stepping back around the counter and heading for the living room. I hesitated a bit, stopping a few steps away from where Carlisle and Esme stood talking. They looked over at me.

"When am I going back?" I asked, not missing their worried glances at each other, "What?"

"Oh, boy." Emmett sighed, passing me. Watching him took my gaze out the window. Out in front of the house, I immediately spotted the two police cars outside in the driveway. I jumped back a step.

"No." I whimpered, "No. No, no, no. You said you wouldn't call them!" My voice broke in my sudden panic, looking to Carlisle as he sighed at the knock at the door, "Why'd you call them?"

"We weren't the ones to call them." He replied, "It's okay, Leandra. Stay calm. It'll be okay."

Esme offered her hand, and I couldn't resist taking it. If they didn't call them, then what the fuck did they want?

"Carlisle." Alice and Jasper both descended the stairs at the same time, watching him head for the door. I traded Esme's hand for Alice's as she made it to my side, watching toward the door.

"Leandra," Alice spoke up quietly, and I looked to her, "Just tell them the truth."

"I can't do that." I gasped, "I can't talk to them." My mind was already working, however. They could probably get into trouble for me being here. I didn't want them to get into trouble. I didn't want Alice to face trouble, which was why I was here at all, but depending on what they were here for, they could be my ticket out of here without Alice following me.

She could probably see me thinking hard.

"Don't lie." Alice repeated, turning me to face her, "You don't know how important this is right now, but you will. Don't lie. Just tell the truth." I shook my head.

"Leandra?" Carlisle called ahead of himself, and I knew he was leading the two cops inside. I sobbed, trying to keep the tears back as I stepped to the side. Hiding behind Alice.

I _hated_ cops. After what Jack told me about them, I hated them. I couldn't stand them.

"I'm awfully sorry about this, Dr. Cullen." One of the cops was saying, "I know how much of an inconvenience this is." Jasper beside me sighed almost silently.

"It's not a problem." Carlisle replied, "She's right in here." I watched their approach, peeking out from behind Alice, trying so hard to control my trembling.

"Calm down, Leandra." Jasper muttered to me, "You'll be okay."

"I can't." I whimpered.

"There you are." One of the cops smiled at me, "Leandra, I'm Officer Moore, but you can call me Nick. This is Officer White."

Good to know, I thought bitterly.

"You can call me Gabe." The second cop smiled at me, and I wanted to hit him.

"Hi." I said instead. What did they want?

"You know, your dad is pretty worried about you." Nick told me. Jack? Jack had to have been the one to call them if he was being mentioned.

"He's not my dad." I replied on instinct, "He's my stepdad."

"My apologies." He chuckled, "Your stepdad is worried about you. He gave us a call when you never came home last night." _What_?

"I forgot to call him." I muttered after a second of thought, "I'm sorry. I should have."

"Leandra?" Alice murmured, but I ignored her.

"I just came over to spend time with Alice." I continued, looking up at her and her 'what the hell are you doing' look, "I didn't think I'd spend the night. It just sort of happened." I threw a tense laugh in there at the end.

"I see." Nick nodded, laughing a little as well, "He seemed so convinced you were kidnapped. Quite upset, actually."

"No." I denied, "Not at all. I just forgot to call." I paused, "How'd you know where I was?"

"We traced the phone number Mr. Wallace had given us this morning." Nick answered, "The number from the call he'd received a few days ago. I almost didn't need to look it up." He smiled, "I recognized it almost right away as Dr. Cullen's number."

"Oh." I nodded, looking down, "You didn't tell him, did you?"

"No." He replied, "Unless it's an issue, there wouldn't be a reason to let him know where you were."

"Good." I muttered.

"What happened to your cheek, sweetheart?" Gabe asked, frowning a little.

Alice tried again, her voice quiet, "Leandra, don't-"

"The cabinet door." I laughed instead, "I forgot it was open, and ran right into the corner of it the other day." Immediately, he seemed to believe me, given his smiling laugh.

"You have to be more careful." He told me, "It looks like it got you good."

"It did." I nodded, "And I know. I'm usually more careful. I guess I was just distracted that day." Sighing heavily, Alice turned away from me to pace a few steps.

Nick sighed as well, "Come on then, honey. Your stepdad is waiting for you at home."

I looked to Alice, as if to say that this really hadn't been a good idea, before starting forward. I would gladly lie to the cops rather than let them get into trouble for trying to help me. I'd gladly lie to anyone, especially if it meant I could find a way back without her insisting on following me.

All it would take was one good pin, and raising my shirt over my back, but I felt confident that Alice wouldn't do that. She wanted me to come to this on my own. Hence, the constant questioning all night. She knew full well she could prove it if she really had to, but she wouldn't force me like that. That would just make me hate her, and she knew it.

"Leandra, wait." She called ahead, and I paused, turning to look back at her. She strode forward and hugged me tightly. I grunted quietly at the force of it, wincing into her side. As if giving me a small reminder of what I'd just done.

"Anytime." She murmured softly, and I looked up at her. The offer _still_ stood? Even after I just lied through my teeth to the two cops standing in their living room? Even after I'd just gone the unfair way? I glanced to Carlisle, and he nodded gently, confirming what she said.

"Anytime." I repeated, letting them know I understood.

I took time to thank Esme with a light hug as well, spotting Rosalie and Emmett on the stairs behind Jasper. Ever-so-slightly, Rosalie shook her head, but her eyes were on me, so I knew she probably thought I was out of my mind. Esme released me with a hesitant whimper, and I knew she hated this too.

"Take care, sweetheart." She told me, and I nodded.

"I'll try." I murmured, sighing.

I wondered how many more times I'd need to shove this family out of the way of my problems. It was getting exhausting, and it definitely tested me.

Nick chuckled as I made it to his side, "You may have one less fan in town if he finds out about this, Dr. Cullen. It won't be hard for him to look up your number himself." Why didn't he do that anyway? Maybe in case I'd already squealed, and sending the cops here first would give him time to get away? Who knew?

"I understand." Carlisle replied, "I know how worried he must have been."

Jack wasn't worried. Not about me.

It did surprise me, though, that Jack would ever voluntarily talk to the police. For any reason, much less about me unless he had a reason behind it.

I should have felt lucky Nick let me ride in the front seat of his car instead of in the back, but that didn't make me feel any better. I didn't bother looking up as we left. I was honestly scared out of my mind, but I'd had a feeling I would have to face this the second I let Alice take me away the evening before.

Jack was waiting outside the house as we pulled up, slowly stepping down the porch steps as I climbed out. His eyes were stones, so I knew he was pissed. I hardly looked at him, the fear already creating a cement ball in my stomach.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" He demanded of me, but lifted me off my feet in a too-tight hug the second I reached him. It was painful and made it hard to breathe, but I didn't dare complain.

"It was just a simple misunderstanding." Nick told him, "It happens all the time, believe it or not."

"She's just not usually like that." Jack sighed in return, finally letting me sit back, "Thank you for bringing her home."

"Just doing my job." Nick smiled, "If that's all, then I guess I'll be going. Just remember to call home from now on, young lady."

"Yes, sir." I mumbled, nodding a little.

The second the front door was closed, I braced myself as he dropped me onto my feet. My heart pounding a thousand miles a minute as he grabbed my shoulder, turned me around to face him and shoved me back against the wall with a loud thud. I held my breath, standing stone-still, waiting for him to start beating on me.

"I hope you're happy." His tone trembled in his anger, "I really fucking hope you're happy."

"I'm sorry." I whimpered, and he snorted.

"Who was it?" He demanded, "Where did you go?"

"They never told you?" I asked.

"All they'd tell me was that they knew where you were, and they'd bring you home." He replied, "Where'd you go? You were with someone." I backed up, pressing further back against the wall.

"I-I.." I couldn't think straight with him watching me like that.

"Where'd you go?" He asked again, and I flinched as he hit the wall beside my head with his palm. I whimpered, covering my head. It was stupid. Beyond stupid to not answer him immediately, but I couldn't. I didn't want them in trouble. It wouldn't be hard for him to find out anyway, but he wouldn't get that information from me. I didn't spend the night before standing stubborn just to rat them out now.

"Fuck it." He finally barked, "It doesn't matter anyway."

"It doesn't?" I had to ask.

"No." He grumbled, "We're going to be a day late because of you, but fuck it." Wasn't he going to beat the shit out of me? "I just want to know one goddamn thing." It sure sounded like it.

I waited, watching as he stepped closer, "What'd you say?"

"Nothing." I answered immediately, "I didn't say anything. I swear."

He reached out, grabbing hold of my chin and forcing my face up. His jaw clenched, "Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Then explain the bruise, you dumb bitch."

"The cabinet." I replied, "The door was open, and I ran into the corner of it." He blinked, as if surprised. His anger lessening a bit as he inspected the bruise. I knew with the shape of it, it could just pass as believable.

"Oh," He muttered, "Good one." He hesitated, holding me there, "And whoever you told this to.. They believed you?"

"Yes." I murmured, "Every word."

He paused while I studied his expression.

"You better hope to God you're right." He growled, "You know how stupid it would be for _any_one to come sniffing where they shouldn't."

"I know." My voice hardly made a sound. I trembled in his grip. He inspected me, probably seeing right through me. He was too good at seeing passed any attempt I made to lie.

"But that's already happened, hasn't it?"

"I-I was good, Jack." I whimpered now, seconds from tears, "I promise I was good."

"Hasn't it?" He asked again, and I turned my head. I couldn't look at him anymore. Far too terrified to even try. He continued, "What did I say? Hmm? What did I say would happen?" His voice was too soft, and I hated it.

I couldn't reply.

"You'll disappear." He assured me, "Don't you worry about that." I started to cry. I couldn't help it, "Don't you worry." He patted my cheek roughly with each word, before he let me go. I dared a look, hardly opening my eyes as I looked forward again at the sound of his keys jingling a few steps away. I watched him yank a lock off a hook on the wall, and I knew immediately what that was for.

I had just enough time to duck, and attempt to run as he grabbed for me again. He caught a hold of my hair, though. Reminding me why I should have cut it. Just chopped it all off.

I whimpered desperate apologies the entire way through the kitchen, and out the back door. Down the steps, across the yard. Them getting increasingly louder and more pleading the closer we got to the box.

"I'll get you out of here tonight. You're lucky I don't keep you in here for a week, you stupid little bitch." Was all he said to me as he gripped my upper arm painfully, digging his fingers into my skin to the point where I could feel each individual bruise I'd get.

His other arm lifted me around the waist, even as I kicked and fought, and he dumped me roughly into the small wooden structure, slamming the lid shut loudly. I heard the lock go on before I could even recover from landing nearly head first onto the soil below me, and started to cry harder. I knew it was stupid, but I tried pushing on the door anyway. Of course, it didn't budge.

It was dark in here, daylight only making it through in a few spots, so I couldn't look around myself yet. I knew there had to be at least a few bugs or spiders in here. Not to mention the smell of damp earth and mold nearly choking me. It wasn't a very big box. Not enough room to stand in, but I could kneel up and move around if I had to.

I hated it in here. It terrified me, and he knew that.

He walked away. What I could hear over the sound of my cries, was his chuckle and seconds later, the back door slamming shut. I couldn't help it. I curled into a tight, upright ball and my tears continued. I hugged my knees, and they muffled my cries as they squeezed from me.

God. It wasn't that I didn't want to take Alice's advice. I wanted that more than anything. I saw the truth in what she said. I wasn't stupid. I knew the things he said and did to me weren't right. _This_ wasn't right. I knew that. I'd always known that, but I just _had_ to keep going through it.

It wasn't that easy. Not when Jack had everything he needed to come through on his threats. Nobody could help me when he constantly bragged about being able to get out of anything. I believed him, because I knew him. I knew what he was like. I knew what he was capable of.

It hurt _so_ much. Knowing I'd probably die, and they'd never know what happened to me. I wasn't dumb. I knew an afternoon and evening in this box wouldn't kill me. It was what would happen when he came to get me that night that scared me so bad.

Death wasn't something I was confused about. I knew what it meant, as Jack made sure I understood it completely, but I couldn't deny that it scared me. I sobbed hard into my jean-covered knees, holding onto them for dear life. I was _so_ stupid. I should never have agreed the night before.

I should never have talked to Alice that day. I should have just let Rachel go forward. Every stupid choice I made led me here. On the verge of losing my life because I just wanted to be seen. I should have known better.

I'd never get to apologize to them. I'd never get to thank them any more than I have. I'd never get to thank them for trying. For being so nice to me. For wanting to help me, even if I was a lost cause. For trying to give me some sort of hope when nobody else would bother.

I held so tight to myself that I shook. I just needed something, anything to hold on to, and I was the only thing I had.

When I had no more tears left to give, I sat there quietly. Staring at my knees almost numbly. My fingers lightly balled in my pantlegs. Just to hold on. I just needed to bide my time. Hold on until that night, but it was hardly mid-morning. I couldn't have even been in here an hour yet.

I recalled my three days spent in here a little over two years ago. Every day felt like three days in itself, so I knew how slowly time would pass for me this time. I whimpered to myself, looking around myself in the dark. Sniffling in an attempt to clear my eyes of any renewing tears.

There were plenty of things in here I could use to get myself out of here, but I wouldn't dare. A shovel and other tools of the sort.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered to no one. Maybe hoping Jack would somehow hear it, but I knew better. I at least had the comfort of knowing when he'd come for me, and what he said earlier told me that we'd still be leaving, but I was right back to the same question.

Where would he be taking me?

Dragging me out into the woods to kill me there? Bury me? Set me on fire? Leave me half alive for some animal to finish the job? Drown me in a lake? Throw me off a cliff? Choke me? Stab me?

Every thought made my panic and trembling worse.

I used to always wonder how Jack would choose to end my life, and 'make me disappear' like he always promised to if anything like this had ever happened, but I never actually had to really worry about it. Not like this. Not this way.

**A/N: I know some reviewers that will probably be a little irritated lol  
>I knew the whole time that this wouldn't change much. Sorry. :(<strong>  
><strong>THANK YOU! To my reviewers, anyhow! I love reading your thoughts. :D<strong>  
><strong>I had a little bit of trouble with this chapter. It took me longer than I thought it would, but I made it through it.<strong>  
><strong>Seven (hopefully) will be easier, considering it's not as new as this one was. :) <strong>  
><strong>Until Seven, my friends! :D<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I laid on my side, my cheek pressed to the dirt. Curled in a tight, trembling ball trying to keep myself warm.

How long had I been out here? The fact that I was honestly confused about that told me it'd been too long. It was dark now. Pitch black in the box around me, no longer daylight, and really quite cold for the time of year. Maybe it was just me.

I rolled over, slowly trying to keep my sweater down when my fingers found something I hadn't known was there. Peeking just a bit from the back pocket of my jeans, was the card. The business card with Carlisle's number on it. I pulled it out, recognizing the feel of the laminated square little piece of paper. I could just barely make out the writing on it.

How did it get there? Then I remembered. The hug Alice had given me before I left their house gave her plenty of opportunity to slip it into my pocket without me, or anyone else noticing. My fingers trembled in the cold as I held it up to look at it.

It was amazing to me. Just looking at it brought me comfort and relief I never expected. Just seeing it here made me feel better about where I was. Like even though they weren't here with me, they were here. I was alone, but I wasn't.

I had to question, though. Would I ever call the number printed on the card? I knew what it would mean if I did. It would mean I'd finally had enough, and I would be willing to cooperate.

I didn't know if I'd ever be brave enough to do that. After all I'd lived through, I doubted anything at this point would ever be too much, and was fully convinced that I'd never find my limit. That I'd just keep going through it like I was taught.

And by the time I did have enough and find my limit, it'd be too late for anyone to do anything. Or it would be too late for anyone to want to do anything.

And if I did ever get away, did part of me care what happened to Jack? Even after all he'd done to me? Oddly enough, I did. There was a small part that did care about him, because he was all I had for so long. Bigger parts of me also hated him, and feared him. Wanted to get away from him, but I also did care about him.

I'd given it so much thought, and fought with that small part of me repeatedly over the years, but had given in to accept it by now. It was just how it was. I was horrified over it, and hated myself for it, but what else was new? I wasn't a stranger to self-hatred, either.

I folded the card, and stuffed it back into my pocket. Just to be sure it stayed hidden. Curling my arms to my chest, my legs hiding my arms, I tucked my head and closed my eyes. I might as well try to get some sleep before Jack came to get me.

I wished I could at least hear the crickets tonight. To give me some sense of company, but as it was, the only thing I heard was the lonely sound of the slight breeze through the thin spaces between the boards of the box, and the occasional rustling of leaves outside with that same breeze. Silence.

I wasn't sure how long I laid there, until I jumped painfully at the sound of the back door opening. With a hitched gasp, I forced myself up. Scrambling up off my side, kneeling as upright as I could in the box. Immediately crying now.

Please, I begged in my mind. Let me out. Please let me out.

Each of Jack's steps from the porch came desperately slowly, as if he were taking his time. Enjoying the sound of my pleading cries. Across the ground until I heard him stop outside the box.

"What do you say?" He kicked the box, and I cried louder at the sound.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered through the wood, "I won't do it again."

"Yeah you will." He grumbled, but I heard the lock click open anyway. Seconds later, the door lifted open, and I stood clumsily to my feet. He studied me, "Damn, you look like shit." He gave a laugh, "I love this thing." He patted the wooden door and stepped back as I attempted to climb out. Tripping in my haste, and hitting the ground heavily.

I had to lay there for several moments, just to keep from throwing up. Nausea turning my stomach against me, making my head spin coldly in the fresh air I could suddenly breathe. I hated this feeling. He stepped around me, circling me where I laid.

"I bet you're freezing." He pointed out, "It's pretty cold out here tonight."

I didn't see the kick coming. His heavy boot landing against my stomach made keeping my nausea back impossible. Just once was all it took for me to lose my breath in a loud cough and the contents of my stomach at the same time, choking audibly on each attempted breath in.

With that one kick, I knew what he was saying. I'd fucked up. Badly.

He forced himself to stop at just one, stepping back. Away from me before he could keep going. I sobbed into the dirt, hiding my face with my forehead pressed to the ground. Both arms clutching my tight stomach, in case he decided to come back for another kick. My trembling breath didn't hide the pain in my sobs, despite my effort.

"Let me tell you something." He spoke instead, "I don't know where you got it into your stupid fucking head that you're worth more than I give you, but that shit stops now. You were warned!" I flinched at his raised tone, "I told you exactly what would happen if you ever pulled the shit you pulled yesterday. I fucking told you!"

I just sobbed, not bothering to reply. Anything I tried to say to that would just piss him off more anyway.

"You thought you got away, didn't you?" He snapped, "Huh? Thought you got away, and you'd never have to face the consequences, huh?"

"No." I answered shakily, "I was going to come back. I tried-"

"Like I'm supposed to believe that." He scoffed harshly, "You're pathetic. I don't even know why I try with you. Get your ass up."

I felt his hand close on my arm, but I didn't even try to fight him as he jerked me to my feet. Jarring every bone in my body as he swung me up, and shoved me toward the door. My knees and palms hit the ground again right at the bottom step of the porch, but recovered as fast as I could. Reaching for the railing to pull myself back to my feet, ignoring the pain in my shoulder now.

"I'm not sitting for hours to smell you." He growled, "Get your ass in the house and clean yourself up. You're disgusting." I hesitated to take deep breaths, but scurried forward as he slapped the back of my head, "Go on! Let's go. Move it, stupid." I wrestled open the door and scrambled inside the house, him right on my heels.

"Hurry it up." Jack barked from behind me, which only made me move faster, "I don't have all night, so make it quick."

I nearly tripped on my way into the bathroom, but saved myself by grabbing the door. I shed my clothing in probably record time. At war with myself over not wanting to stand in the freezing cold water, but also _really_ not wanting to piss Jack off even more.

I couldn't help crying. The water hurt so much. Scrambling to get everything done while trying my best to dodge the water until I had to endure it, but that wasn't anything new.

"Good enough." I jumped at his voice filling the bathroom less than a few minutes later, "Get out." I grit my teeth through one last rinse and jumped out. Sliding a little on the smooth floor, but running passed him.

"Hey." He called at me, and I turned in my bedroom doorway. Getting a rough towel tossed into my face.

"Thanks." I told him, already drying my hair. I was actually prepared to get dressed while still wet. Just to avoid him yelling at me even more.

What was the big rush? He was in a huge hurry, and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't figure out why. Sure, we were a day late, but he barked orders at me like the house was going to blow up at any moment.

Not giving me a chance to breathe, much less stop and wonder about anything. I was still very disoriented from my time in the box, but I had to shake that off if I wanted to somehow stay at least somewhere near his good side.

He threw my old clothes at me, "Hurry it up."

I watched him turn, and remembered to pull the card from the back pocket of my dirty jeans before tossing them in my 'to be washed' pile. I replaced the folded card into the back pocket of the jeans I wore now, trying to catch my breath and shiver violently at the same time.

"Hurry up!" He was back in the doorway.

"It's been thirty seconds!" I couldn't hold that back, no matter how much I should have.

"Don't take that goddamn tone with me." He shot back, "It's your fucking fault we're late. Get moving!"

I took a deep breath, yanking my light sweater over my head and grabbing a balled pair of socks and my shoes on my way to follow him. Fighting with my wet hair the whole way. He grabbed me, though, right outside my bedroom and shoved me back against the wall. What the hell had I done now?

I looked up at him, and he looked down at me in the sudden still moment in all the movement.

"How long's it been?" He asked, and I frowned a little. I didn't know what he was asking. He got irritated when I wouldn't answer, "How long?"

"How long since what?" I asked in reply, and he sighed in frustration.

"Since you've eaten, stupid." He clarified, "How long has it been?" He must not have noticed anything odd when I threw up earlier. I silently thanked myself for deciding against eating very much that morning.

"Five- No, six days." I answered immediately. Admitting I'd eaten anything sooner than when he decided I could was a very good way to piss him off.

"You didn't eat wherever you went?" He frowned.

"You told me not to." I answered immediately, "So no. I didn't."

He seemed to appreciate that answer greatly. I could tell by the way his hand loosened significantly, allowing the circulation back into my arm.

"I'll get you something later." Jack replied, "You've gone longer." I had. He sighed, giving me a nod and taking a fist full of my sweater. Tugging me away from the wall with a quiet yelp from me.

He ignored that, though. Dragging me through the house, out the front door as he slammed it behind him. I took a few seconds to breathe, trying to pull my socks on as he locked the front door and started forward again. I hesitated until he turned back around to reach for me.

"Just wait a second." I whimpered, which he ignored. Gripping my sweater again, and pulling me along with him down the steps. I gave up trying to put on my shoes and socks, just carrying them along with me. Running barefoot through the damp yard to the truck hurt the bottoms of my feet, but I literally had no choice but to keep up. It was either that, or be dragged behind him.

He yanked the drivers side door open violently. The bags were already in the backseat, I noticed, as he practically tossed me into the truck head first. I was getting so tired of being thrown around.

"Ow." I gasped.

"Shut up." He grumbled in response, "Stop bitching. You're lucky you're still fucking breathing."

"Lucky." I muttered sarcastically. Gaining a full open-handed slap, and a pretty effective boost out of his seat and onto the passenger side floorboard.

"Watch the tone, bitch." He sat down as I struggled to right myself. I grunted in discomfort, but I was alright, "Get in the back."

I immediately did as he said. Scrambling my way between the front seats. Settling into the small open spot in the back passenger seat on the backseat bench, the bags beside me actually making me feel more secure.

We left the house behind quickly, practically tearing up the dirt of the driveway.

"Where are we going?" I could ask that now that I wasn't afraid of him hitting me. He'd have to stop, or risk hitting a tree.

"I already told you that." He replied, "We're going to make you disappear." Yet, he promised food later? I found that odd.

"Am I going to die?" I had to know.

"I'm still considering that." He growled, "So shut the fuck up."

I fell quiet, deciding not to press him.

I stared out the window at the passing trees, letting my mind drift for once. Back to Alice, where it had been going a lot lately. I wondered if they worried about where I was.

It was amazing to me that somehow, the fact that I remembered them was enough to grab their attention to _that_ degree. Alice had told me she liked me. I doubted she knew how much that meant to me. She'd never know how much that meant to me. She'd never know how much it meant to me that she tried as hard as she did. Even if it did result in me being locked away in a tiny box for most of the day.

It would take me awhile to figure this out, but I felt like they would wait. I hoped, anyway. What Alice said while I was eavesdropping was probably right. She was right, even if she couldn't convince herself of that. I knew what she meant now.

If they pushed me, I'd push back. The whole night before proved that. I wasn't moving. I wasn't budging, even if it would have been the smart thing to do.

"You know," Jack spoke up, taking my attention again, "If I wanted to, I could have the whole lot of them thrown in jail." My heart dropped, "Yeah, I looked up that number." Fuck.

I didn't know what to say to that.

"Kidnapping is a serious crime, you know."

"I went on my own." I mumbled quietly.

"I don't give a fuck." He scoffed, "The point is, they had no right to take you anywhere, much fucking less keep you all night. A week or two in jail would teach them to keep their fucking distance. Worse if I decide to find a bruise or two, and point the finger their direction. One of them would take the blame for that."

"They didn't do anything." I whimpered, leaning forward, "It was my idea."

"Then you best be glad we're doing this now." He snapped, "Before I lose my fucking patience with them, and you ruin their lives. You don't want to get them into trouble now, do you?"

"No, sir." I replied instantly.

"That's what I thought." He fell quiet for a moment, "What's the nosy bitch's name? The one that called that day? She's the one I'm focused on, but I know that wasn't her number."

"She's not a bitch." I muttered, "She's my friend."

"I don't give a shit if she was queen of the fucking world," He was getting pissed, "What's her goddamn name?"

"I won't tell you." I mumbled, hardly daring to breathe. He and I both knew he could easily get it out of me if he really wanted to. I watched his hands, slowly leaning back out of his reach. His hands, clenching tight to the wheel, were one of the things I feared most about him.

"Fuck it." He said again, "I'll figure that out on my own, but I can tell you that you'll never fucking see any of them again. Do you hear me?"

He obviously didn't know I had the card securely in my pocket. If I lived long enough, I'd just give them a call when we got back. No big deal.

"Yes, sir." Keep him happy. At least as happy as I could.

I still hadn't the slightest clue where we were going, but I knew by now not to ask any more questions. So I just went with it. Settling back in my seat carefully. That was all I could do. Despite how I would have preferred to stay, anywhere was better than in that box. Especially considering Jack had the heater going.

Jack didn't seem to mind letting me sleep. For a little while, anyway.

The radio was on low, playing some old rock song. Listening to him singing along with it under his breath, and the quiet roar of the partially open window was the white noise I needed to sleep. This was normal. I knew this.

Opening my eyes for a final time, I looked up out the window. The interstate was bare this time of night, aside from truckers or another random car. I tried to wait. I tried to see any sort of mileage sign, but I couldn't stay awake for very long.

Smelling the cigarette smoke that managed to waft back at me, I actually did manage to sleep. As much as I hated him, he was the only family I had. As much as I hated him, I couldn't help feeling something like comfort when I was with him.

He was familiar, and I felt like I knew his behaviors well enough to know when I needed to be cautious. He seemed satisfied for the moment. Content, almost, now that we were going wherever we were going.

I couldn't remember the dream I'd been having when I felt him tapping, nudging my leg with his hand.

"Hey. Wake up." He muttered, and I sleepily opened my eyes as I whimpered awake, "Get up here. Sit with me for a minute."

I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes while doing as he told me to do. That almost didn't work, as I nearly tripped myself on the passenger seat. My foot getting caught on the seat back. I had to try again.

We were stopped somewhere, which only then registered to me. The radio was still on, but the truck was off, and the parking lot we sat in was a gas station. He must have already had to stop for gas. He probably didn't fill up the truck before we left.

He'd parked away from the light. It was dark on this side of the building, and it was eerie here at night. The area empty of anyone but us.

I yawned, climbing over the center console. His hand actually supporting my lower back on my quest between the seats. He flipped up the center console, creating a seat in the middle for me to sit down in right beside him.

I continued rubbing my eyes, whimpering again in my sleepiness. I was definitely feeling the last several hours. I knew it'd take some time to feel warm again.

"Here." He pulled a bag up from the floorboard, reaching into it, pulling something out. He gave me a small smug smile, and I realized what he was offering me. It was a bar of chocolate. I gasped a little, looking up as I didn't hesitate in taking it.

The last time I'd had anything like this was when I'd stolen it from someone at school.

"Thank you." I immediately said, and he grunted in response. Nodding.

I carefully unwrapped it as he sighed, setting the bag back down. Continuing on with his cigarette. Looking to the clock on the radio, it said we'd already been gone for two and a half hours. Two and a half hours from home, I wondered where we were.

"Later," He said, "We'll stop and get something to eat." I nodded, knowing he wouldn't tell me twice. Maybe he really was trying. Of course he was. Had he not been, I'd have been dead already.

I nibbled eagerly on the chocolate, not wanting him to think I was ungrateful in any way. This was such a rare thing.

"When we get to where we're going," He spoke again, "I want you on your best behavior." He paused, looking to me, "You know what that means, right?"

"Don't speak, don't move around, and don't look at anyone too long." I answered sleepily, and he chuckled.

"Good." He nodded, "That's right." I felt a very slight pang of relief. I'd done something right, "You'll be meeting someone important, so don't go running your mouth. Got it?" He was taking me to meet someone.

"I won't." I replied, "I promise."

As long as he held the offer of food up over me, I would have done my best to do a backflip if it meant making him happy. It happened so rarely, I knew never to let the opportunity pass. He reached over, and I glanced up at him as he started lazily running his fingers through my hair. Almost like he was petting me. I waited for the violent pull, but it never came.

This wasn't so bad. He wasn't yelling at me. He wasn't hitting me. I eased ever so slightly, adjusting how I sat. Closing and resting my eyes tiredly.

"There will be kids there." He continued, looking to me again, "About your age." I waited for his point, "Unless they talk to you first, don't say anything to them, either. Got it?" His fingers continued running through my hair. It felt a lot nicer than when he was trying to pull it all out.

"I won't." I repeated, "Nothing."

"But don't be rude." He added calmly, "Or I'll tan your hide." I shook my head, "I'm testing you, kid. Don't disappoint me, especially so soon after the last one. You know I hate being disappointed." I shook my head again, more vigorously this time. I did know he hated being disappointed.

He watched me for a few moments, until he sighed. Flicking the cigarette butt out the window, he reached over and picked me up. I stiffened in response.

"H-Hey, wait.." I mumbled, snapping my eyes open and looking around wildly, wondering what he was doing until he settled me on his lap. Thoughts of sleep flew out the window as he adjusted my weight, me facing away from him.

I didn't want to ask questions, so I just concentrated on the chocolate I nervously nibbled on. This was new. I attempted to move, to crawl back over to where I was sitting, but he righted me easily. Keeping me square in the center of his lap.

"Relax." He told me firmly, "You're fine." If he thought that tone of voice was soothing, he was mistaken. With both his hands on my shoulders, he pushed me back down, and held me there. I didn't try moving again, despite how much I wanted to.

Wide eyed, I trembled a little at first, waiting for what he was going to do.

As it turned out, he just wanted me to sit there. After he was sure I wasn't going to bolt, he removed his hands, giving my shoulders a light squeeze before doing so. Despite how light the squeeze was, it still made me wince. What was he doing?

For several minutes, I sat there stiffly, waiting for whatever this was to be over. Was I a lap warmer now? I didn't like the thought of what I was seated over. That was just about the only reason I didn't like this. He wasn't moving, or hurting me. It just made me _very_ uncomfortable.

"This isn't easy for me, you know." He grumbled, and I turned a little, looking back at him over my shoulder, "I know you don't believe me, but I didn't want to have to do this. Why couldn't you have just done as you were told? Was it really that damn hard?"

I didn't know what he wanted me to say. I chose to face forward again instead.

"Was it that damn hard?" He asked again, softer now, but I wasn't sure if he was still talking to me. He got quiet, and I stayed quiet. Just sitting still. The truth was, his confession struck me as a deeply personal thing, and anything I'd have to add to it would take from it. It also scared me. He was obviously dreading something, but what?

It turned out, cooperation was all he was looking for, and just going with it was the right thing to do, because after only a few minutes of sitting there, he sighed deeply. Startling me out of my thoughts, as the silence ended with the sound.

"Alright." He mumbled, reaching up and placing his hand on my neck, lightly shoving me sideways. I tumbled off his lap, sprawling ungracefully back onto the seat beside him.

Nothing had happened. It was like he just got bored of me sitting there.

I glanced up at him as I righted myself, confused. He gave me a calm look, not angry at my puzzled state. Reaching out, he grabbed the pack of cigarettes and shook out two.

"Get used to that." Was all he said. His bitter tone wasn't angry. Just unhappy. Hey, if that's all he did now, was have me sit on his lap, I would be happy. If cooperating with that meant less pain for me, I'd do it.

He gave me no explanation, and I didn't ask for one. I just took the lit cigarette he offered, sitting beside him in silence, just curled into a small, insecure ball against the passenger door. We didn't speak while I smoked. He glanced over at me now and then, watching me watch him. I didn't like new things.

"Would you relax, for fuck's sake?" He finally snapped, "You'd think I'd just threatened to kill you by the look on your face." I looked down. I wasn't entirely sure he hadn't. I didn't know what that was about.

"I don't like that." I mumbled after a few seconds.

"Well, tough shit." He replied immediately, his tone telling me that he was surprised I'd actually voiced my opinion, "You'll probably be doing a whole lot of things you don't like over your lifetime with what I'm planning for you." He turned his gaze out the window, "Get fucking used to it."

I didn't bother to reply. I was getting tired again. So I tossed what was left of my cigarette out the window.

"Go back there." He told me, and I tensely got moving, "Go back to sleep."

I made sure to take my chocolate with me, settling back into my spot. I watched him start up the truck again. What that was all about was beyond me, but whatever it was hadn't hurt me, so I didn't care as much. I was confused, but I wasn't about to piss him off by asking about it.

Was that going to happen all the time now? He'd never really done that before, and when he had, it'd been so different. He hadn't made me sit on his lap since I was four. I didn't like it back then, either, because even back then I knew there was always something wrong with doing that.

This time was different, though. That something wrong wasn't there this time, weirdly enough. Oh well, I figured. That's his business.

He started the truck, and we got going again. I took a breath, remembering the card in my back pocket. Would he see me back here? Not if I was careful. I subtly slid my hand into my pocket, and with a breath-taking stab of fear, I realized it wasn't there.

I checked the other pocket, in case I mixed them up, but it wasn't there either. If he found that, I wouldn't make it back. I scrambled around as much as I could, searching all over for the small square. Leaning forward and shifting around the old receipts and things on the floor of the backseat.

"What the fuck are you doing back there?" Jack barked from the front, "Didn't I tell you to go the fuck to sleep?"

"Trying to get comfortable." I lied.

"Well, get comfortable." He grumbled.

The sudden relief I felt when I found it hiding partially under the passenger seat in front of me was more than I'd felt in a long time. The card must have slipped out when I hopped over. I picked it up quickly, hiding it against my leg right as Jack turned to glance at me.

He looked forward again almost immediately, so I could hide the card better. It was so relieving to look at it again, and see that it really was in my hand again. I smoothed the crease out, holding it protectively in my lap.

After about a minute of looking at it, I reached over and unzipped my bag as quietly as I could. I couldn't risk losing it again. This would be my lifeline if I ever needed one.

Inside the bag, against the left side was a small net pouch to stuff things into. I slid the card, words hidden, into the pouch, and made sure my clothes were piled up over it. At a glance, if he were to get one, he'd probably think it was a label or something. Zipping it closed just as quietly as I'd opened it.

In a way, this was a little exciting. Like my own little secret that he had no idea about. He knew about them, sure, but he didn't know that I had my own way of contacting them if I needed to. That was something only I was in on. I didn't get that very often with Jack. He was aware of everything.

Every bruise on me, every scar. The small birthmark I had on the left side of my chest and right down to the freckle I had on the bottom of my left second toe. He knew me as well as he knew himself. Head to toe, he knew me, so having something he didn't know about was a new experience for me. Almost completely making up for my day in the box. Almost.

As exciting as it was, I'd do as he told me. I closed my eyes once more.

I slept for a little while longer after that, and I opened my eyes to bright sunlight out. It was just barely morning, and the sun on my face felt strange to me. I'd opened my eyes just as he was taking an exit off the interstate. Somewhere in a place called Eugene. I recognized that as being somewhere in Oregon. No wonder it was sunny.

Having slept in the cramped backseat all night, sitting upright on a stiff bench, my muscles protested. Igniting the pain in the bruises I had, and now that I was aware of it, they hurt triple fold.

"Ow." I whimpered, and he glanced back at me. Noting the fact that I was now awake.

"Stop bitching." Was all he told me as he came to a stop sign. I rested my tired eyes a bit, waiting for more instructions.

He decided to stop at a gas station diner to eat, but I didn't mind where it was. My guess was he didn't want me dying while we were meeting whoever I was going to meet. He was usually more careful than that. Especially since he didn't know I'd eaten much more recently than he thought.

He filled up the truck, and pulled me out by my hand. Practically tugging me across the parking lot to the small diner. I had trouble keeping up. I looked up at him, noticing the way he didn't even look at me. His stern blue eyes focused on where we were going instead.

I yawned, and shivered. For it being sunny, it was a little chilly here, and I was cold. I didn't like him holding my hand, so I tried to pull my hand from his. He still didn't look at me, only gripping my hand tighter the second I moved my hand in his. I hated when he did this. Pretending he was anything but someone who I lived with, and someone who tormented me constantly. Him holding my hand like he was my dad was such a big lie, it made me want to throw up.

This trip wasn't turning out half bad, though, despite the mystery the night before. It was sunny here, wherever we'd ended up, and it showed through the window. It was hard to see, as my eyes weren't adjusted yet, but I ate. Whatever was in front of me, I ate it.

"Here." He said, sliding his glass toward me, "You're going to want to stay awake."

"What is it?" I asked, peering into the red colored clear plastic cup at the brown, bubbly liquid inside.

"Just drink it." He muttered through clenched teeth. Choosing not to piss him off this early in the trip, I hesitantly took a sip through the straw. This was something I'd never had before, and considering my glass only held water, I was expecting it to taste like water. How wrong I was.

This was sweet. Very sugary, and the bubbles almost burned my mouth with how sharp it was. I'd tasted beer before, but somehow, this was sharper. Sharper, but not near as bitter. So this was what soda was like. I wrinkled my nose a bit, looking up at him.

"Go ahead." He told me, firmer now. So I did. The bubbles took some getting used to, but once I had, I found I didn't mind it so much. It tasted okay.

"Oh, you're going to have one heck of a drive home, sir." The waitress had come by again, laughing as she noticed me drinking from his glass.

I knew how it went.

Looking up, she'd noticed me. That was bad, so I had to do everything I could to become less of a fascination. I smiled sheepishly up at her, slowly sliding the glass back over to Jack. She laughed again, shaking her head.

She looked to him again, and I looked away. I really deserved some kind of medal or award. It was just so easy to squash suspicion or divert attention.

"She's precious." The waitress commented, smiling sweetly at Jack. He looked to me. She just wouldn't stop noticing me. I grit my teeth. Looks like it's going to be the entire act this time.

"Isn't she?" He chuckled. He put his arm around me, hugging me into his side like he often did. False show of affection. Lesson number one. I reached up, holding onto his arm. Mostly to try to keep him from smashing me, but to the waitress watching, it looked for all the world like I cared about him too.

"It's so nice to see a father spending time with his daughter." She smiled, "I have a little girl at home, and let me tell you. I'd love for her to have such a dedicated father." Single mother. I looked up at her, then to Jack. I suddenly wondered if this was about the same way he met my mom. He laughed, refusing to meet my eyes.

Jack really was a charming guy. He could charm his way out of or into anything, just by smiling at the right person in the right way. I tuned out their conversation as he gently released me. I took his glass again as I scooted over a little, sipping from it steadily now as I looked out the window.

My thoughts held fast to thoughts of my mom now. I wondered strongly if she'd have changed her mind if someone had warned her.

Jack held her attention now, and I couldn't help listening to her giggles. I didn't like the sound. It meant she was falling for it. The same act he gave all the women. Leading them easily to believe he was such a great guy. I hated the way I helped him. If she only knew.

I stared out the window. Watching the busy parking lot outside. My eyes had adjusted a little more, and I could really take in the scenery. It was just a little less green here than home, but the way the sun shined brightly on the trees beyond the parking lot was actually really pretty.

I didn't remember ever being so far from home before, and it left me feeling oddly lonely.

As I sensed the conversation beside me winding down, I paid more attention to them. Jack stood up after placing a rather large amount of cash on the table, giving her a smile as I struggled out of my seat to follow him.

"Have a good day." The waitress called after him as he turned, heading for the door. I hesitated just a second, looking up at her. She met my eyes and gave me a smile.

"Take care of her." Was all I said to her. Her smile faded slightly, watching me as I turned, and jogged to catch up to him.

We hadn't stayed long. Back on the interstate before an hour had even passed. This time, I paid attention to the direction we were headed. We were going south. Obviously, since we were in Oregon, but it was still news to me. Even more south?

I was allowed to stay up front this time as we continued on. He obviously knew where he was going, as he didn't even need a map. Taking exits and on-ramps, merging on the interstate and picking lanes carefully like he'd made this trip a thousand times before. He knew right where he needed to be.

"We'll stop tonight for the night." He informed me and I tore my eyes away from all the other traffic around us, looking over at him. That was all he said, but I could tell he was tired. I still didn't understand what his big rush was, but I wasn't going to point that out. I just didn't want to die because he was too tired to pay attention.

I figured out quickly why he had me drink that soda. It was difficult to sit still, much less to sleep. I was wide awake. More than I had been in awhile.

Sometime around six-thirty in the evening, he took an exit, and I was never more relieved. I understood the rush now, as sitting in a seat for so long was quickly taking its toll on me. Worse than sleeping in the back. My butt and my hips were in so much pain, and as much as I knew moving around would help that, there wasn't much I could do.

Outside the motel, I took a little too long grabbing the bags from the back, so Jack took hold of both my back pockets and yanked me backwards. Getting me out of the way so he could grab them instead.

We found our room, and with my bag in my hand, I was herded in first. He shut the door behind him, and immediately pulled on the chain lock. Looking around the room, I hated the sight of just one bed. The tiny room didn't even have a TV in it.

"Get clean, and get to sleep." He told me, "Early start tomorrow."

Pulling his shirt off, followed by kicking his shoes off, I waited as he waited for me to confirm. Intimidated as he pulled his belt loose.

"Where do I sleep?" I asked hesitantly, and he paused, seeming confused.

"Where do you think?" He snapped.

"On.. The same bed? As you?"

"Do you see any other fucking beds?" He asked, and I shook my head, "Then what would that tell you?"

"To sleep on the floor?"

"Don't be stupid." He muttered, "If I wanted you to sleep on the floor, I'd tell you to sleep on the goddamn floor. Are you done with the stupid questions?"

"Every question I ask is stupid." It was my turn to be confused.

"Exactly." He muttered, tossing his belt to the side, "So how about you shut the fuck up for five minutes?"

I nodded, letting him know I understood him now. I half hoped, that with as tired as he was, that he wouldn't be interested in me that night.

"Jack?" I asked quietly, watching as he laid down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Still wearing his jeans, thank God. Thoroughly ignoring me, he didn't reply, and I stood there until I heard his quiet snores just a few minutes later. I had questions.

I was feeling brave, I guess, so as I took my shower, I wanted to try turning just a little bit of hot water on. Just to see what it felt like. I really wasn't looking forward to the cold of the water, but I was worried he'd know.

I didn't, though. Too scared, and the thought of Jack finding out made me refrain from doing so. So I suffered through the cold, because I just knew he'd know. Somehow.

I quickly crawled under the thin blanket beside him, trembling from the cold. I was thanking myself for deciding against the hot water, as my crawling into bed must have woken him up. He turned half way to face me, pressing the back of his fingers to my ice cold cheek, and chuckled sleepily.

"Good." He told me, rolling over again until his back was to me. I curled tighter in the blanket, my mind already busy.

How did I know that was going to happen? It had happened before, too. With the card. Had I not moved it into the bag, he'd have found it when he grabbed my back pockets.

Knowing not to do something, to avoid getting onto Jack's bad side. I guess I'd always had that skill, but could that be considered part of the gift Alice was talking about?

I always figured that was brought on by being trained the way I was from the time I was little. Always staying out from underfoot, trying to avoid problems before they happened. They always happened anyway, but they'd be worse if I didn't try to avoid them. There was no doubt that dreaming about Alice was odd, especially the night before I met her, but could that really have anything to do with me having some sort of gift? An ability?

The only gift I had was knowing when I was about to get beaten. Was that how I always knew to get moving before he did? With that question, it opened up the idea. Maybe Alice wasn't so crazy after all. Could it be possible, just a little bit, that I found her for a reason? Was there some sort of way for two people with the same gift or ability to find each other? She said she saw me coming.

It was just so hard for me to believe she knew I was alive, much less my name. Very much less actually liking me. Someone like her knowing me seemed wrong to me somehow, like I never deserved such a friend. What I'd ever done to earn her friendship, I never knew. All I knew, was that I was already looking forward to going home, so I could talk to her even more.

I didn't hold what punishment I got against her. It wasn't her fault. She was just trying to help me.

Confident Jack would leave me alone, considering his breathing told me he was out cold, I let my eyes close.

Whenever I knew Jack was nearby, asleep or not, I never slept very deeply. Some part of my mind always half awake, waiting for something. Though tonight, I did. I wasn't waiting for anything. Probably exhausted from the trip so far, so I just fell asleep. I wished I knew where he was taking me, but so far, it hadn't been that bad at all. Aside from how painful it had been sitting still for so long.

When I opened my eyes next, it was to the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. Dim morning light coming through the thick curtains over the window. He'd left me alone, surprisingly. He never bothered me. Not even him moving to get up woke me.

I stayed in bed, snoozing lightly as I heard him get out of the shower. A short while later, I clearly smelled the scent of his cologne. I always cringed when I smelled that. I hated the smell of it.

"Come on." He called, and I jumped. I hadn't heard him come out of the bathroom, "Get up. Get dressed."

I whimpered into my pillow with a yawn, looking over at him as he stood there, a balled up t-shirt in his left hand. He already had his clean pair of jeans on, and the belt he discarded the night before, now in place was the first thing I saw, since he hadn't put his shirt on yet. I always tensed when I saw that. If belts could speak.

I felt like I knew that belt as well as Jack knew me. Every crease, every wrinkle in the leather. I'd been acquainted with that thing many, many times. The sound it made was loud, even when it was sitting still. Purely from the memory of seeing first hand what it could do.

I waited for him to cuss at me for a brief few seconds, until he gave me an incredulous look, and I decided not to push it, and started getting up.

"Put your new clothes on." He instructed, "We'll get there before tonight."

I did as he said, and a hairbrush landed beside me on the bed. I assumed Jack had thrown it at me. With a sinking heart, I realized he'd had to have gone into my bag to get that. Looking up at him, he didn't seem mad, so I wouldn't freak out yet. I just had to bide time until I could look.

I took the hint, brushing out my hair as he pulled his t-shirt over his head.

"Cover that," He pointed at my face, "And meet me out at the truck." With that, he lifted his bag, and left the room.

He was trusting me in here alone? Don't disappoint him, I told myself. This had to be another test. Like the diner was. Maybe he actually didn't _want_ to kill me, and was giving me another chance?

I finished brushing out my long hair, kneeling beside my bag to put the brush away, when my eyes landed on the card tucked away. I sighed in relief, relieved at the fact that it was still there. Hidden but in plain sight.

Slowly, I pulled it out. I smiled a little, reminded of my friends yet again. I sighed, wondering again if there would be a time when I'd ever need to use the number on the card. Just knowing it was there, however, made me feel better. Knowing the offer still stood.

Nervously biting my lip, I tapped the card against my fingers, looking over my shoulder at the window in the room. Jack was waiting on me.

I put the card away again, safer this time. I stuffed three pairs of socks in the net pocket with it, effectively burying it, and zipped my bag back up before climbing back to my feet. I set off to cover my face, hoping I wouldn't need to do this much longer.

Thankfully, I didn't have any new bruising on my face to worry about.

Slapping me open-handed pretty much guaranteed me a little bit of swelling, but no bruising. He'd have to hit me a lot harder than he did for that to happen. Open-handed slaps spread the force of the impact to a much wider area, lessening the breaking of blood vessels under the skin. Making it hurt, but not damage or really display.

Punches and kicks, however, were a different story. Those were dangerous. Those could break bones on someone as small as I was with as strong as he was. I'd gotten to be an expert on bruises through the years.

I did just as he said to. Coming back out, he was already seated in the truck. The radio on, and the slightest bit of relief entered his usually glaring blue eyes as I came back out.

Dropping my bag into the now dry bed of the truck beside Jack's, and climbing in. He handed me another bar of chocolate as I sat down, settling into the front passenger seat. I couldn't help feeling like a dog being trained, but if it meant I stayed on his good side, I didn't mind it so much.

Since we skipped breakfast, he stopped for an early lunch at an actual restaurant this time. Somewhere just outside the California border, I found out. I sat beside him, between him, and the window. Now and then glancing up at him.

Were we going to California? Was that where he was taking me? Unless he was hauling ass to Mexico, where he wouldn't have to worry about being arrested, and dragging me along with him. I'd heard of people doing that when they were in trouble with the law.

I'd have been just as happy to be left on the side of the road somewhere while he ran off.

I was still getting used to eating again, so I couldn't eat very much. I was still tired. Nervously looking around me. I still didn't know where we'd end up, but I knew. I had every right to be nervous.

Something about this trip wasn't right. I could feel it, and the way Jack treated me now told me so. He was being too nice, which told me he had something planned. I'd known he had something planned from the start, but it made me nervous now.

I just wanted to go home.

When we got going again, I was seated up front once more. Watching him. He had yet to sit me on his lap again, so I couldn't help wondering why he would tell me to get used to that, if he didn't do it again. I wasn't looking forward to finding that out. If I could get away with not having to, I would.

We entered California, signified by the 'Welcome to' sign.

I didn't like how nervous I was today. On edge, and it was the first time I really realized how much a cigarette eased those nerves. Instead of just smoking to settle my empty stomach, I used smoking as a way to calm down.

"What the fuck?" Jack grumbled, glancing over at me, "You trying to kill yourself? Christ. Slow down." I was on my third cigarette in an hour. Sixth in two hours. He yanked the pack from out of my reach, and stole the cigarette I just lit. Pausing one last time to slap me on the back of my head, "Dumb ass."

Just like he said, we pulled to a stop outside a house later that afternoon. The house sat at the end of a normal looking street, so I was pretty confused. This was obviously the place he was meaning to go, but it wasn't anything like I thought it'd be. For someone running from trouble, I expected a tiny hut or box somewhere inconspicuous.

The house itself was very nice. Pretty big, but not too big. Two stories high, with quite a bit of impressive architecture. White stone, with dark brown accents and very large windows. It even had a little fence around the front lawn, and a three car garage.

I was intimidated by this house, not moving to get out of the truck. He took my shoulder, turning me slowly to look at him.

"Remember what we talked about." He told me firmly, "This is it. Don't disappoint me, you little bitch. Come on."

God, what did he have planned for me? Maybe Jack just didn't want to be the one to do the killing.

He climbed out of the truck, and I nearly cried as I followed him. Squinting in the late afternoon sunlight as we both stepped around the truck and headed for the front door. I inspected the house quickly in the time I had to look at it.

The door opened before we even got there, a rather large man greeting Jack loudly. I jumped, actually stepping closer to Jack in fear.

"Nice to see you!" The new man called, laughing as he stepped forward. Greeting Jack with an enthusiastic hug, "And who's this?"

He pulled back, looking down at me. I made a whimpering gasping noise, stepping behind Jack. He was big, and his voice clearly matched. He wasn't heavy, just big. Tall, and pretty well built.

I eyed him as I eyed everyone new I met. With distrust. He sure didn't seem the type to kill people for others, though, but then again, maybe that's exactly what he wanted me to think. I narrowed my eyes.

The man only laughed, "Sure is a shy little thing, isn't she?"

"Remember Gina?" Jack told him, "Well, this is her kid. Leandra."

"You never mentioned she had a kid." The man seemed puzzled, looking at him. He seemed nice enough, but I really wasn't sure, so I looked up at Jack as well. Waiting for some sort of hint as to what to do.

"I didn't think it was that important." Jack laughed.

"A secret kid?" He got in response, "It's kind of a big deal. You didn't kidnap her, did you?" He laughed, finding that funny. I wasn't so amused, and neither was Jack, though he forced a laugh as well.

The man's eyes fell back down onto me as he leaned forward a bit. Probably to be more on my level, but it didn't help much, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Leandra. My name's Mike." He held his hand out, and Jack gave me a nod, telling me to not be rude.

I hesitantly placed my hand in his, not liking the contact. Thankfully, he was gentle. Giving me a kind smile and chuckling as his hand closed around mine in greeting. He didn't shake it, or pull me anywhere, just held my hand like that for just a moment.

"She's got to be the cutest thing." Mike smiled, releasing me. Was this the important person I was meeting? He didn't seem so bad. I was usually pretty good at being able to tell.

"Is my dad inside?" Jack asked, and again I was taken off guard. I looked up at him. Shocked. He had a father?

"He and Heather went to the store." Mike answered, "Had to pick some extra things for dinner. You know how much the boys eat." Who was Heather? And who was this Mike guy? What the hell was going on?

I followed Jack closely as he and Mike stepped inside. Looking around. I had to look up to see it all, the inside very impressive. The stairs to our right were carpeted, but there weren't very many of them.

The floor was a dark colored hardwood, with a very wide open floor plan. Ahead of us to the left was the living room, with very fancy looking furniture, and a tan colored rug situated under the dark wood colored glass coffee table.

The ceiling in this area was high, but it looked like the second floor was only situated on the right side of the house, given the lower ceiling off toward the kitchen. It was a little weird for me to see the ceiling like that.

"Uncle Jack!" I flinched at a shout further into the house, and stepped away from him. Landing beside Mike as I heard and saw two boys running straight at him from the living room. Jack laughed, accepting their hugs.

I'd never seen him act this way. Never.

"Damn," Jack chuckled, "You two gotta quit growing." The smaller of the two seemed my age. Taller than me, but not as much as the other one. Dark brown hair on the both of them, and there was no question they were related to him. Given their color of blue eyes. Seeing him so happy to see them had me tilt my head a bit. More confused than I'd been the entire trip.

"Leandra, these are my nephews." Jack's tone changed. Subtly, but I heard it clear as day, "Zack, and this is Josh." He touched their heads as he said their names. Zack was the smaller one, and Josh was the older one, "Guys, this is Leandra. My wife's daughter."

"Hey." Josh greeted, smiling and waving. I bit my lip, waving a little in return. Thankful I didn't have to touch them.

"She bunking with the boys?" Mike asked, and immediately Jack shook his head.

"Nah, she prefers to stay with me." Jack replied, "Isn't that right?"

"Yes, sir." I murmured quietly without missing a beat. He approved, given the look in his eyes. That wasn't entirely a lie. I wouldn't know what to do without him. Not here. He was giving me the option to stay with him, which I would have preferred in new places like this.

"Lucky there's a couch in your room." Mike chuckled, "Well, why don't you help me start dinner, Jack? Let the kids get to know each other." I was given a warning with Jack's eyes. Again, subtly, but I saw it.

"Sure." Jack finally agreed, sighing, "Leandra, go get the bags from the truck. Take them upstairs. Third door on the right is our room." I nodded, immediately turning.

"Be nice to her, you guys." Mike called after us, "Don't roughhouse."

Unfortunately, the boys followed me. Probably as curious about me as I was about them. I climbed onto the side of the bed of the truck, pulling Jack's bag to me first before grabbing mine, and pulling them out. I struggled with the weight of both, but Josh took Jack's from me easily. I looked at him.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

"No problem." He smiled, leading the way back inside. That was it for conversation until the bags were safely in the room. I sighed, worn out. This room was actually pretty big. One king sized bed was centered on the far wall. A white, plush couch opposite it.

Now what was I supposed to do? He never told me what to do after doing this. I felt very uncomfortable standing here with the two boys. I'd never been one to get along with kids my age.

"Well, how old are you?" Josh asked, obviously curious.

"Nine." I answered immediately, my voice quiet.

"That's how old Zack is too." Josh replied, leading the way from the room, "I'm eleven."

"Cool." What else was I supposed to say to that? Congratulations for getting born two years before I was?

We made our way downstairs silently now.

"Why can't we roughhouse with you?" Josh asked, peering over at me. I was learning quickly that Josh seemed to be the one to ask all the questions. Zack seemed as quiet as I was, but just as curious as he watched me like I watched them.

"I don't know." I replied, "Ask your dad."

"Wanna come watch TV with us?" Zack offered quietly, and I shrugged. That seemed better than trying to make conversation with too-personal questions. I only tolerated that from Alice. Not these two.

"Sure." I replied.

I chose to sit at the far end of the couch. Josh on the other end, Zack in the chair. I wasn't as tense as I was before, thankfully. I just didn't know what to make of these two. They hadn't been mean yet, and that was strange to me. I sat there, nervously nibbling on my thumbnail as I glanced over at the two of them now and then, and I knew they did the same thing to me.

This definitely didn't seem like the type of scenario I'd imagined myself to land in. Not after doing what I'd done. Not with how mad Jack was at me, so I felt a little dazed. Constantly stuck in a haze of confusion.

I could see Jack in the kitchen from where I sat, so that helped a little, but all that did was confuse me even more. I didn't know what to expect here. I didn't know what to make of this situation.

We only managed to sit there for about ten minutes before the front door opened again. I stared toward the kitchen, watching as Jack was greeted enthusiastically by an older version of himself.

That must be his dad.

Same color dark brown hair, maybe a little lighter from age, but this man didn't even look that old. Definitely not old enough to have a son Jack's age. At least he didn't show it. I might have mistaken him for his slightly older brother, had Jack not mentioned his dad earlier. His hair was a little longer than Jack's was, but just as neatly kept.

He obviously took good care of himself. He stood just a little shorter than Jack was, but seemingly just as strong. I wouldn't be able to tell that, though, until I got a better look at him. I couldn't tell just yet, looking on from across the house.

There were differences, obviously, between Jack and this man but even I could see the resemblance from where I sat. I didn't realize how interested in him I'd become, until Josh laughed.

"That's grandpa." He told me, confirming it, and I glanced to him.

I had never really given it much thought. None at all, really. I knew he had to have a family, but I really hadn't expected this. This was something I never had to think about before, considering the way Jack always liked to keep me hidden away.

The woman that came in with the older man came our way with a sigh. Maybe this was the Heather Mike had mentioned earlier?

"Hi, mom." Josh greeted quietly as she patted a resting hand gently on his head, looking to the TV briefly. I looked at her now. The first, and only thing I had a chance to really notice was her long hair, brought back out of her face in a messy ponytail that left her longer bangs loose. She seemed tired, the evidence in the slightly darker skin under her eyes.

Her eyes landed on me, and I looked away, but even as I did so, I saw something in her eyes that made me nervous and sad at the same time. I had no clue why.

"Oh." She spoke, "Who's this?"

"Jack says that's his wife's daughter." Zack answered, "Her name's Leandra." I glanced up at her, curious. Her blue eyes met mine, and she seemed to understand. At first glance, she seemed unhappy. Given the frown on her face, and the way she studied me for a moment, before she turned.

"Jack." She called, her tone also suggesting she wasn't happy. I watched after her, watching her head for the kitchen. She pulled Jack off to the side by his arm, arguing heatedly with him. I watched her insecure posture, her arms crossing over her stomach the way I always crossed mine. I hoped I hadn't done anything wrong. I really hoped I hadn't.

The older man caught my gaze, and smiled. Coming over. Nervousness at his approach clawed its way out in a quiet whimper.

"You must be Leandra." When he spoke, it was forced polite. Almost condescending in the way it sounded, "I'm Ken." Thankfully, he gave me a name to use. I was not calling this guy 'grandpa'. Far as I knew, or cared, I didn't have one.

He offered his hand, and since Mike hadn't bothered me, I took it. I was pulled to my feet, however, and lifted with a squeak. He held me in one arm, hugging me with the other.

"We're family, kid." He told me with a friendly chuckle, "No need for silly hand-shakes."

Resisting the urge to shout in pain, I bit my lip, waiting for him to get done with me. I didn't like him, but I was stuck. I had to grunt, squeezing my eyes shut. He was hugging me too tight, but I grit my teeth and dealt with it.

"Dad," Heather sighed, "Let her breathe." She called him her dad, and given the way Jack's nephews called her their mom, that meant one thing. She must be Jack's sister. She looked younger than him. From what I could see through my pain, anyway.

I needed to get it together. I was so mixed up, I didn't know which way was which.

Ken chuckled, releasing me with his hugging arm. I sat up straighter in his arm, looking at him. He really was an older version of Jack. There was no question whether or not Ken was his father.

I didn't like being held, though. Not by him. Not by anyone.

I glanced behind him, finding Jack coming over. A quiet warning in his eyes to keep my mouth shut. I did, knowing full well this was a test as well. This must have been the important person I had to meet.

"She's beautiful, Jack." Ken seemed really pleased to meet me, which was a good sign. It meant I wasn't in trouble yet, "And you've been hiding her all this time?"

If this was the important person, I knew I'd better be on my best behavior with him. I held Ken's gaze for as long as I could, eventually looking down. I might not have liked him, but that hardly mattered any.

I soon discovered why Jack had done what he'd done. Why he told me to get used to sitting on someone's lap.

Sitting down, Ken kept hold of me, sitting me on his lap. Just the way Jack had done. This stranger doing this made me even more uncomfortable, but he seemed to either not notice, or not care. Whenever I'd try to move subtly, or get loose, his arms around me would tighten, holding me there and bouncing me a little.

I looked to Jack, hoping for just a little bit of a break, but he went right on smoking his cigarette by the window like he didn't even care. Not even giving me a glance. Heather, however, kept her eyes on me like she was afraid I'd steal something. Nobody else seemed to think anything of it, so I tried to relax, but it was difficult. It was hard to, considering how tight he held me there.

Every now and then, he'd shift under me, but that was it for the movement. I still didn't appreciate this.

While I sat there, I did some thinking. Catching up in my own head.

Ken was Heather and Jack's father, and Heather was his sister. Mike was Heather's husband. Josh and Zack were Heather and Mike's sons. It was unsteady, but I was beginning to catch on. Mike and I were the only ones here not blood related to these people, but Mike was more related to them than I was, given Josh and Zack's relation to them.

"What are you feeding her, Jack?" Ken finally brought attention to me, also bringing my attention back to where I sat, "She hardly weighs anything."

"She doesn't eat much, dad." He replied, "Her appetite has been shit since her mom left."

"Who would leave a gem like this?" Ken asked, peering around to try to see my face. I looked away, biting my lip, "Lucky she has you, Jack."

Just let me go already! I hated this. I hated lap sitting in general. I always had, but this was really testing me. I looked to Jack again, finally meeting his eyes. I tried for a subtle, incredulous look, but it probably seemed desperate.

"Very lucky." I murmured quietly, striving for points. Jack gave no indication on whether or not I'd earned any. Choosing only to look away once more. I bit my lip again, sighing.

I was deeply uncomfortable, and Jack was no help. Though I did try for freedom a few times, I was afraid to move too much. Afraid, and anxiously aware of exactly where I was at that point, I never knew I could ever be as aware of myself as I was right then. Keeping even my breathing to a minimum.

I wanted him to let me go, but he kept me there for what felt like hours. When he finally did let me go, it was because I'd had enough and told him I needed the bathroom.

"I'll show you where it's at." Jack offered, standing, "Come on." I followed him easily, glancing back at Ken's eyes following me. I was shaking, nearly in tears over that, and I needed a break.

Once we were out of hearing range, Jack sighed. Pulling me to a stop, he turned me to face him. I looked up at him, waiting for whatever he had to tell me. I hoped it went in my favor. I knew he had to see how shaken up I was.

"You're doing great." He told me, glancing back in the direction of the living room, "Just keep it up. I know he's grabby, but he won't bother you too much." I sniffled, nodding, "He just wants to hold you, so you let him. Just thank me for saving your ass by making you sleep in the room with me."

"Thank you." I muttered easily, and he nodded. I didn't know what he meant by that, but I wasn't going to ask. I actually was grateful.

"Go on." He gently pushed me toward the bathroom. Gently for him, anyway. I stumbled a little, but was otherwise fine. I took my time in there, actually wondering if I would throw up or not. I didn't want to go back out there, and fought with myself each time I attempted to move for the door.

When I finally came back out, I tried to avoid Ken's gaze. I tried to avoid him noticing me, but he saw what I was doing right away. Smiling as he took my wrist and pulled me back to him. It was right back onto his lap.

This was going to be tough.

**A/N: That one was interesting. So much added and fixed, but worth it. It needed it.  
>THANK YOU! To my AWESOME reviewers! :D THANK YOU! I can't say THANK YOU enough. <strong>  
><strong>I'm not sure how long eight will take to come out. I know this version is coming out longer, but that's the whole fun of Re-Vamping stuff, right? More room to play around.<strong>  
><strong>Hope you enjoyed this one, and as always..<strong>  
><strong>Until Eight, my friends! :D<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

I did my best to calm down, and I was getting the hang of it, but the tension always stayed there. The same level of self-awareness that was so new to me.

The oddest thing was, Ken gave absolutely no indication that he noticed my discomfort at all. Like it really was no big deal. He just carried on conversations like I wasn't being pinned to his lap.

I breathed deeper now, trying to force myself to calm down.

He didn't seem to care, so why should I care so much? He didn't seem like a bad guy. Maybe he just liked kids. Or maybe he just liked contact. I couldn't imagine the boys wanting to sit with him like this. Boys were different than girls when it came to affection from adults. I noticed that practically every day at school.

Maybe this was just the same as the boys showing off their scraped knees and bruises, versus girls crying over the same wounds. Maybe Ken just wanted me to feel comforted or accepted. Maybe he wasn't so bad.

It got a lot easier when I allowed myself to think of it like that. Just because the experience was new, didn't necessarily make it bad. I still didn't like it, but I didn't want to rip his face off and run away anymore, either. I didn't like it, but I allowed it. Not that I had much choice, though.

He seemed to notice when I stopped resisting as much. Loosening his hold enough to be partially considered comfortable, which helped me to not feel so much like a tethered animal.

I could almost imagine that I wasn't sitting where I was.

So there is where I passed my time until it was time to eat, gaining a few brief moments of freedom, so I ate as slow as I could. Without it seeming obvious, that was.

Soon enough, it wound up just me, Jack, Ken and Heather left at the table, so I knew I'd have to hurry up. Mike and the boys had all wandered off by then to watch some TV before bed, but Heather seemed reluctant to leave with them. Despite her being done already. It was just me, and the three of them, and all three of them watched me. It didn't take too long before I started to get nervous.

"Leandra?" I looked over at Heather as she spoke, watching her stand up, "Think you can help me with the cleaning up?"

"I'll help you." Jack offered before I could reply, and I knew better than to insist.

"Jack." Her tone wasn't an appreciative one. She sounded irritated, actually. I looked over at her, confused. He could probably do a better job of helping her than I could. I was sure to break something or screw up. I'd rather he be the one to do it. Aside from the fact that them leaving left me alone with Ken.

Jack smiled at her and stood up to follow her. Taking my plate as he rounded the table, heading for the other side of the kitchen. She hesitated, but eventually followed him with a slight glare. It was a good thing I wasn't that hungry. Especially as Ken and I sat there alone now. His eyes on me, my eyes on the table in front of me.

"You sure didn't eat much." He pointed out, and I glanced up at him.

"I'm not that hungry." I replied quietly with a small shake of my head, which was the truth.

He hummed in understanding, "Tired from all that traveling, no doubt."

"Very." I sighed, slowly leaning back, "I've never been so far from home."

"I'll bet." He smiled a little, which seemed off to me. He seemed like a nice enough person. He added, "Don't worry. Soon enough, I'm sure you'll feel right at home here."

I doubted it.

Standing up, he offered his hand to me with a sigh. I hesitated only a few seconds before forcing myself to take it. I'd gotten this far today without pissing Jack off. I didn't want to risk it. As far as I knew, he still thought I was doing well. He almost never told me that, so I didn't want to fuck it up.

I stood up, glancing back at Jack on our way out of the kitchen. He stood there, watching us with a clean plate in his hand. I couldn't read his expression from where I was, but I really, really wished I could.

I tried really hard not to, but I couldn't help relaxing on Ken's lap. Both of us seated in the chair, his arms around me and with as tired as I was, it was hard to stay tense. As much as I wanted to. The living room was dimly lit, which didn't help things any.

He didn't hold me as tightly, probably knowing I was getting more comfortable there than I had been all day. I didn't want to be comfortable there, but something about knowing I had no choice, on top of how tired I was made that happen.

It still bothered me, but Jack wasn't going to help me out. Given the way he just walked right passed us, not even a glance to me on his way into the living room with all of us. Heather paid more attention to me than he did. Taking a subtle double-take at me leaned back against him, his hand lazily running through my hair in the back as he slowly rocked the recliner. Hardly moving, but just enough.

I looked to her, but her eyes were on Ken. She said nothing, though, as she fit herself on the couch between Josh and Zack. I let my eyes close, resting them. I was so tired suddenly, it took me off guard.

When it was finally an acceptable time for bed, I woke up from my snooze and followed Jack almost eagerly up the stairs. More relieved than anything to get away from Ken.

I paused in the bedroom, glancing around, shaky and nervous. I didn't know what to do now, so I waited for instructions. Now what?

"I'm gonna take a shower." He told me, "Go to sleep. I won't be long."

I vaguely noticed him lock the bedroom door. The action so swift, I barely saw it. Honestly, I didn't know what to make of that. Was he worried about someone coming through the door? Or was he just being cautious?

I was in my pajamas and nearly half asleep, curled in a ball on my side by the time I felt the bed dip behind me. He didn't seem to mind that we'd be sharing a bed. Just like at the motel, but even though he always hurt me while in the same bed as me, I felt more creeped out by Ken than by him at that particular moment.

Tonight was different, however. He laid down behind me, and must have felt my trembles, because he sighed and brought his arm down. I lifted my head, surprised a little as he fit his arm against me, his palm flat against my stomach, and he scooted me over. Holding me there. My back against his side, curled into a ball. Hesitantly, I hugged onto his arm as I laid there on my side, hoping he wouldn't mind.

"He won't get ya." He muttered, deep annoyance in his tone, "Just sleep."

Jack had always been possessive of me. Always. It was rare for a week to go by without him telling me that I was his in one form or another. His problem. How it was his job to teach me, to beat me. How lucky I was to have him.

That had never changed, but this felt more like protection. What made this different? He never tried to comfort me. For as long as I'd known him, he'd always done everything he could to make my fear worse. This was so strange, and so weird to me. This wasn't exactly comforting, but it was as close as I'd ever gotten to it with him. Oddly enough, I'd rather be pinned to him than Ken.

Jack had never mentioned anything about his side of the family. I might not have liked Ken much, but I liked Heather. She seemed nice when she wasn't watching me like a hawk. Josh and Zack were nice, too. They didn't treat me like something gross. Mike would take some getting used to. He was likable enough. I wondered if I would ever have a real chance to get to know him.

I closed my eyes, drifting off.

As I was falling asleep, my thoughts drifted to Alice, and I wondered if she saw where I was now. I wondered if she saw me laying there. I hoped she had, and that when I got home, she would calm down.

The very next morning, I woke up sharply.

Sounds of arguing downstairs. I sat up in the bed, looking wide-eyed at the door. Jack was still sleeping. During the night, he'd rolled over, so I was free to move. I slipped out of bed as quickly as I could. Leaving the room, and jogging down the stairs until a hand caught my arm halfway down. I gasped, and turned sharply.

It was Josh, and he shook his head.

The raised voices were in the kitchen, and I clearly recognized them both. Heather and Ken argued, loudly, and we stood there silently. Both of us leaned over the railing, looking back toward the kitchen.

"Really, dad?" I heard Heather's attempt to keep quiet, "Again?" She wasn't doing well with that attempt.

"Oh." He replied sharply, "Would you just stop?" This was obviously something that had been brought up before.

"I saw that yesterday." She argued, "I mean it, dad. Leave her alone. Or I swear-"

"What?" He demanded, "What are you gonna do?" His voice took on the condescending, lowered almost growl I recognized in Jack. I'd heard it so many times before. From where we were standing, it was difficult to really see them, but from what I could see, he had her backed against the sink, and her head was turned. Away from him.

"I swear to God," She continued, "I will slit your throat while you sleep." I flinched back at those words, looking up at Josh in fear, "I swear on everything I am that if you touch that girl, I will put you down, you sick son-of-a-bitch." Her lowered voice shook. Trembled as if she were afraid, but she meant every single word. The heat, venom in her voice was clearly audible.

I looked back up at Josh, and his lack of reaction to what she said told me this wasn't the first time he'd heard it.

"I told you yesterday what she means to me." Heather continued, taking my attention back toward the kitchen, "Don't do that to her." Distracted for a split second, I had to wonder. What did I mean to her?

"I'm not doing anything." Ken's voice had eased, "Don't you worry about her. Besides. If you wanted a daughter so damn badly, maybe you and that husband of yours should get busy. I could have another granddaughter by January. Jack's given me one. Now where's yours, young lady?"

"It's not like that, dad." She growled, "Stop it." She shoved around him angrily, and I ducked back before she could see me watching, "And you'd never see her anyway."

Josh nodded up the stairs, gesturing for me to follow him.

I let him take my hand, following him back upstairs. Our steps silent on the stairs, thanks to the thick carpet on them. We ducked into the other guest room across the hall from Jack's and mine, and I looked to Mike already sitting up in bed, a magazine in his hands.

Zack stretched out, lounging on the bed next to Mike. Tossing a pillow up, and letting it fall back down and hit him in the face.

"Keeping her out of it?" Mike asked conversationally.

"Yeah." Josh answered, sighing. He looked to me again, "We just stay in here until we know it's over. Mom and grandpa fight like that all the time. It's only gotten bad a few times." I was freaking out.

"Why would she say that?" I was suddenly in tears, upset. I didn't know why hearing what she said had upset me so much. Maybe it was because I'd only heard Jack say those kinds of things before. Never anyone else. I should have been used to it, but hearing it from Heather bothered me. It shook me.

"Hey." Mike instantly set his magazine to the side, "Come here." He was obviously worried, and he gestured me forward with open arms. I didn't trust Mike as far as I could throw him, but he seemed nice enough, and Jack had told me that if someone wanted to hold me to let them, so I stepped forward.

Still crying, I let him pull me to him. I climbed up onto the bed with him, and he pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his giant arms around me. Hugging me securely.

"Don't worry." He chuckled lightly, "She didn't mean it. She'd never do something like that, Leandra."

It was far easier to accept being held by Mike than it was with Ken. He had this sort of air of comfort about him. Like something big and fluffy. Not quite a teddy bear, but close enough. He wasn't scary, despite his size. He was fluffy.

"They say those things to each other all the time." He continued, "I've never quite understood her relationship with Ken, but I do know nothing like that would ever happen."

"You should go out there." I whimpered, "Make them stop."

"All that does is make things worse, darling." He explained.

"It's true." Josh added, "Last time dad went out and tried to break it up, they fought the entire day and half passed midnight. I'm not even kidding."

I half laid on Mike, the way he held me oddly sort of comfortable. My cheek against his chest with his arms enveloping me. My legs draped over his leg, and I was sort of cradled. It felt nice, not uncomfortable like it would have felt with Ken. I was quickly beginning to like him.

Was this what safety felt like? I recognized it from the dream, but the real thing was a lot better than a faded memory of it. I knew Mike was a good person. It was a strong enough feeling that I trusted. It was the same feeling I got from the Cullens. Something I recognized, and accepted.

As I slowly calmed down, I realized that it felt like I was constantly being reminded of the feeling I had in the dream. Why couldn't I just let it go? Why couldn't I just accept that my shitty life would only get easier if I just let the dream go? Because I didn't want to. I wanted to have something to hold onto. Just one thing.

I chose not to focus on those thoughts right then. I was trying to stop crying. Not make myself cry more.

"What'd she say this time?" Mike asked, looking to Josh.

"That she'd slit his throat." Josh sighed, sitting on the bed. Mike sighed as well, shaking his head.

"I wish she'd stop that." He replied, "I keep telling her that it's not good for you boys to hear that stuff. This is why." He glanced to me pointedly.

"She didn't know we were there." Josh shrugged a little.

"I'm fine." Zack pointed out, "I know she wouldn't, so I don't care. I'm getting hungry, though. Think they'd stop fighting long enough for me to grab a cookie or something?"

"No cookies for breakfast." Mike corrected, chuckling, "And wasn't dinner enough last night? You can hold on for a little while longer. They'll cool it soon."

"It's okay." Zack sighed, sitting up as he moved closer to where I laid, peering over his dad's arm at me, "Like dad said. She'd never actually do anything like that."

"You didn't hear her." I whined, "She meant it."

"She always means it." Zack replied simply, "After awhile, you'll see. She won't do it."

"Dad," Josh murmured, gaining his attention, "She said something to him. About Leandra. That's probably why she's so scared."

"What'd she say?" Mike asked, "It couldn't have been anything that bad."

"She told him not to touch her." He answered, "And to leave her alone. What'd she mean by that?"

Mike fell quiet for a moment, and I looked up at him. He met my gaze with concerned confusion, as if he understood what Heather had meant, but he didn't understand why.

"I'm sure she didn't mean anything by that." He assured me with a small smile, gently smoothing my cheek with his hand before looking to Josh again, "But I'll talk to her about it. Don't worry." Josh nodded, satisfied with that.

A knock at the door had all of us looking that way. Please, I thought. Let it be Jack. Let it be Jack.

"Yeah." Mike called, not letting me go yet. The door opened, and Ken peered in. A cheerful smile on his face as if Heather had not just threatened to kill him. I whimpered quietly, and subtly, Mike held me tighter. Ken's eyes found me first, before slowly, he looked to the boys.

"How'd I know you boys were up?" He asked, "Go get dressed. I'll take you guys out for breakfast."

Zack jumped up, jogging from the room excitedly. Josh followed, glancing back at me as he left the room. He had heard, as clearly as I heard, Heather tell Ken to leave me alone. I had no doubts that Josh didn't know what she meant by that, but I had a feeling that I did, and I didn't like it much.

"You too." Ken chuckled, waving to me, "Come on. Let's go."

I reluctantly crawled away from Mike, and climbed off the bed. Instantly missing his warmth. Ken watched me as I passed, and I knew he had to have noticed the way I shrunk a little under his gaze on my way out the door. Maybe it was instinct, or what I'd heard. Maybe it was just the fact that I knew he was the one that raised Jack. I didn't know, but I didn't like him. Heather obviously had reason to worry. Maybe I should listen to her?

I scurried across the hall, straight into the room I shared with Jack.

He was still sleeping, so I crossed the room and jumped onto the bed. Actually crawling over Jack to get back to my side of the bed. Jack startled awake, sitting upright and looking down at me as I laid on my side, curling into an insecure ball.

He grumbled, "What the fuck?" He wasn't pleased, but that could have had something to do with crawling over him, kneeing him in places he probably didn't appreciate.

"I don't want to go." I replied quietly, "Not with him."

"Who?"

"Ken." I answered, partially muffled by the pillow as I curled into it, "He wants to take me, Zack, and Josh somewhere." He sighed a heavy growl, flopping back down as he reached up to rub his eyes.

"Just fucking go." He told me condescendingly, "Good God. Did I raise you to be such a wuss?"

"Yes." I replied, rolling over to look at him.

"Bull shit." He growled, "Get the fuck up."

"I'm scared."

"You should be." He snapped, "Because in about three seconds, I'm putting you through that wall. Get the fuck up."

"I don't want to go."

"I don't really fucking care." His voice was a light sneer, that at any second could get heavier.

"I don't want to go anywhere with someone like him." He paused mid-eye-rub, before looking over at me. Our eyes met, and I could see his resolve not to hit me fading. I recognized him a little more than I did the night before.

"Someone like him?" He asked quietly, and I instantly pursed my lips, recognizing his tone even more, "How about this." He sat up, throwing the sheet back. Standing, he turned and grabbed my arm forcefully. Flipping me onto my back like I didn't weigh a thing, and leaning over me on the bed.

"You get up, get dressed, and you will go." I hated this tone, "You'll go with him, and you'll smile like you're at fucking Disney Land, or so help me, I will beat the shit out of you until you're black and blue." His growling voice made my breathing hitch, and I squeezed my eyes shut, cringing into the mattress, "Am I clear?"

"I-I just meant.." I whimpered, "I-I only meant-"

"Shut up." He snapped, and my voice died in my throat, "What did I just fucking say?"

I nodded vigorously, letting him know I understood, and he waited.

"Good." He said, standing. Cheerfully whistling a tune, he made his way into the bathroom. Slamming the door behind himself.

Okay, so there went that feeling of protection. Note to self. Don't insult his father.

Sniffling, I forced myself up and out of bed. Finding suitable clothes, I pulled them on as slowly as I could as Jack left the bathroom. I wondered how long it would take for this bruising to go away.

With him standing there, I could feel him watching me. I was doing as he told me, so he wasn't pissed yet, though he probably knew I was taking my time.

I'd chosen a light pink long-sleeved shirt. It might have been thinner than most, but it still could be considered a sweater. It hid everything well, though, and Jack made sure of that before I even left the room.

I was beginning to get used to this nervously nauseous feeling. It was the oddest feeling. It wasn't the normal nervousness I'd come to know. This was different.

I waited downstairs by the front door with the boys, and I seemed to be the only nervous one. Jack had followed me from the room, talking quietly with Ken before we left. Jack was being firm, given the expression on his face. I wished I could hear what was being said, but Josh took my attention instead.

I hadn't been particularly talkative since seeing him in his parent's room before.

"You sure are quiet." Josh pointed out, "Are you shy or something? Is that why you have to share a room with uncle Jack?" I stayed quiet, "Come on, kid. I'm not gonna bite ya."

"That's not funny." I finally mumbled, glancing up at him, "Don't you know biting hurts?"

"I know biting hurts." He laughed, surprised I finally spoke to him, "I live with Zack, remember? He bites me all the time." This kid didn't seem so bad, "So we're like.. Cousins, right? Or what?"

"I guess." I admitted, "I don't really know."

"Cousins." Zack answered from my other side, "Not blood related, though, since Jack isn't her real dad. Or is he?"

"No." I said, slightly offended. He seemed surprised at my tone, so I added, "Sorry."

"Do you live in Forks?" Josh inquired, "How come we've never met you before?"

"I don't get out much." I mumbled, and he smiled.

"Well, that's too bad." He said, "Because you're cool. Quiet, but cool. I like you."

It wasn't often I had interaction with boys around my age. Most of the ones I went to school with ignored me, or looked at me like I was a rock on the ground, but these boys didn't. And for the second time in just a few days, someone had told me they liked me.

What the hell was I doing differently?

I looked away then. Passed where Jack stood talking to Ken. Heather in the kitchen, watching me over the coffee mug held tightly in her hands. Her eyes held an expression I wasn't sure about. One I hadn't seen before. Like a desperate form of slightly panicked confusion. Like she couldn't figure out what I was, but really wanted to. Like she couldn't believe I was real.

I watched her right back. Studying her from across the house just as she studied me.

"You guys ready?" Ken asked, coming back over. Obviously a rhetorical question, given the way he pulled the door open for us. I made sure to fit myself in behind Josh, but in front of Zack as we all filed out the door.

The outting wasn't too bad at first. Breakfast was almost boring in how uneventful it was. Zack flung a piece of bacon across the table at Josh who managed to catch it in his mouth, but that was it. Ken only let them try once, and I understood that. We were out in public. Acting like animals was generally frowned upon here.

I kept to myself as I sat there beside Ken. Glancing up at him as he sighed, and started petting my head. Much the way he had the night before. Lightly brushing his fingers through my hair, gently massaging all the way to the back of my neck.

I wanted to tell him to knock it off, but he wasn't hurting me, so I allowed it. Guaranteed, if I were to tell him to knock it off, Jack would make sure I'd be hurting later, so I grit my teeth and sat tensely. I didn't particularly like this. It made me feel weird.

Ken didn't bother me again as we walked around after breakfast, looking through shops along the busy street. I stood between the boys, listening to them argue about the pros and cons of the color orange. Zack liked it, and Josh was trying to talk him out of it. Such boring conversation was what I was quickly learning to like. The kind where I didn't have to say anything, but glance back and forth between them as they spoke. As hard as I tried, I couldn't completely ignore Ken's gaze on me, however.

We wound up at a grassy park around noon, and I was quickly beginning to get too warm in the shirt I wore. It was one thing wearing long-sleeves around an air conditioned house, but completely different to wear them out and about. Especially here. This place was much different than Washington. Drier, warmer.

The sun beating down on me was harsh and bright. Very warm for this time of year, and much warmer than I was used to. I gave in, and sat on the other end of the bench Ken sat on under one of the only shade trees around us. It was a small bench, however. Only enough space between us for one more person.

"Looking a little flushed there." He pointed out, reaching over and lightly pinching my cheek. I glanced over at him, leaning away. Wordlessly he watched me as I watched him. Until he spoke again.

"You know," He spoke up, "I've been hoping to get you by yourself. I wanna talk to you." I glanced up at him, watching as he lit a cigarette, "Let me ask you. Do you think my son is a good father?" I didn't know how to answer that. I didn't know Ken well enough to know whether or not being honest would get me beaten later.

"Come on." He said, chuckling, "Just tell me. Between us." I still hesitated, "I won't say a word."

"No." I mumbled, "I don't."

"Why not?" He asked curiously. I was quiet again, biting my lip. How was I supposed to be honest with him when his son was pure evil? I knew nothing about this guy. He could be just as bad.

He waited, watching me, until I figured out how to answer him. Glancing around, nobody was watching us, so I reached over and stole the cigarette right out of his hand. Watching me as I took a drag, he seemed surprised, until understanding came to his face. I took another, holding it back out to him.

"I see." He said, taking it back from me, "He starves you." I looked up at him, "Keeps you dependent. That's smart, but also a very stupid thing to do." I frowned, looking down. I was a little surprised, to say the least, that that one action told him everything he needed to know. Not to mention the fact that I'd never heard anyone talk about Jack that way before.

"Why's it stupid?" I had to ask. He leaned over to lower his voice, keeping his eyes on the boys playing several feet away, but I watched him. Very consciously aware of how close he'd gotten.

"Because that's the easiest way to get caught." He replied quietly, "Anyone with eyes can tell something's not right."

"How'd you know he doesn't feed me?" I asked, and he glanced over at me.

"I recognize that move." He gestured to the cigarette as he leaned upright again, "Heather used to do the same thing."

For the oddest reason, his confession chilled me. As soon as it registered to me, I looked up at him in shock. He was saying he had treated Heather the way Jack treated me. That completely shook me. Heather? The same Heather that I had met yesterday? His own daughter Heather?

He smirked at my expression, finding it amusing. He obviously knew then that I'd figured out what he was saying, as he hummed his confirmation, giving me a nod. I wondered how much worse Jack's abuse was than Ken's.

It certainly explained why they fought all the time.

I really didn't like him. I thought, maybe for a second, that if I talked to him, I'd feel better about him. I was wrong. Every thought through my head was telling me to get as far away from him as possible. I was starting to see why.

"She started smoking at about twelve." He explained, as if it were no big deal, "First I've ever seen a nine-year-old smoke, though." He chuckled. He seemed so relaxed about the subject, but I was still reeling from it.

"Seven." I mumbled, and he looked over, "I started smoking at seven."

"Shit." He found that even more amusing, "And nobody's said anything to you?"

I thought back to Edward. That day, at the school. Edward and Jasper catching me, and the promise I made to him. I was grateful, even still, that Edward hadn't made them call Jack. If he'd had to come get me because I was in trouble for anything, it would have been a whole lot worse.

"Not until recently." I admitted quietly.

"So I hear." I'd obviously stumbled upon a subject he wanted to touch on, given the change in his tone. It was subtle, but the difference was there. I didn't want to hear any more.

Suddenly, frying in the heat didn't seem so bad to me anymore. I went to stand, but he caught my hand. Tossing his cigarette to the side, and pulling me back down. I landed on his lap with a whimper.

I actually gave a little struggle, but his hands around both my arms were too strong. Holding me easily, so it really was over before it even started.

"See," He sighed, locking his arms around me and settling me more comfortably on his lap with a little bounce, "I wasn't done talking to you yet."

Okay, I really didn't like this guy. I sat tensely now, not quite struggling, but resisting as much as I could. Staring straight ahead at where the boys ran around. If they noticed anything off, they sure didn't show it. Not one glance our direction.

"I know the way my boy treats you, and well.. He's my son. He's my only son." He continued, reminding me of where I was, "So I'm willing to help him any way I can. You see, his problem.." He paused, reaching up with one hand and clearing my hair from my shoulder. I only got about halfway into a struggle before he had a hold of me again. Ending that one, once again, before it had even started.

"Now, I still wasn't done." He chuckled, but I heard the stress in the sound, "His problem is that he just doesn't understand what he's dealing with. He doesn't really know what he's up against, or what he's doing. He says there's been trouble, you see. People noticing you."

Each time he paused to take in a breath, my fear grew and I wanted so bad to cringe away from him, but there was very little room to do so. I just looked down, focused now on my hands clinging to his clasped hands against my stomach. Pinning my arms, and the rest of me while he was at it with his arms.

The sound of him breathing grated on my nerves, because it was right in my ear. His voice was a quiet gravelly purr, attempting to be comforting, no doubt. I didn't know what he was capable of. Not only that, but my instincts were telling me to be afraid of him, and I had no choice but to listen to them.

"That's going to stop now." He almost growled.

"Yes, sir." I had to try.

"No." He laughed, "I'm telling you. It's going to stop." It wasn't an option, and it wasn't up to me, "Because if I have to get my son out of prison because you couldn't keep your stupid, slutty mouth shut, I'll kill you."

He just got several thousand times scarier. My eyes squeezed shut, in some form of attempt at defense, but that didn't stop me from being able to hear him.

His voice quieted, getting darker, "I will. Jack isn't the only one capable of pulling that off, you know. Who do you think allows him to pull it off? Who do you think taught him all he knows about kids like you?"

I gasped a quiet whimper, trembling on his lap. His arms tightened around me, squeezing me back against him until I started to cry. Not hard enough to really hurt me. Just hard enough to scare me. My soft, silent sobs giving away how scared I was. His arms around me, I knew I was trapped. I wasn't going anywhere until he decided I could.

"Do you know why you're here, dear?" I heard the smile in his voice, unable to force myself to look at him, "Do you?" I shook my head, "Really? Ask me why you're here, and I'll tell you." It took me a moment to force myself to speak.

"W-Why am I here?"

"Because there's been trouble." He chuckled as if it was obvious, "We're still working out the details, but it looks like you're going to be staying here with me." That shocked me enough to turn my head and look at him. Unshed tears in my eyes, others drying on my cheeks, "Just for.. Say, a year or so. That'd be fun, right?" Instantly, I shook my head. Disagreeing vehemently. I really didn't want that.

"No? Don't you like me?"

"I want to go back now." I whimpered quietly, "Can we go back now?"

"See, he doesn't want me to have you." He continued as if I hadn't said anything, "He wants to keep you, but he also knows that's a very stupid thing to do." That line again, "He knows how incredibly stupid it would be to keep you there, and let those that have noticed you notice you even more." This whole thing was starting to make more sense now. I was beginning to understand.

"He called me." He told me, "A few days ago, and he told me that you've been causing some trouble. So I told him to just take a few days. Come here, and bring you with him."

That was what suddenly made him bring me here. As much of a relief it was to finally understand, it didn't make me feel any better. He wasn't going to kill me at all. He was giving me away. Letting his dad take me in, since he lived so far away. That's what Jack had meant by 'making me disappear'. They'd never find me here, so to them, it'd be like I really did disappear.

"He also told me about the other day." He continued, "Running away? I won't stand for that."

I didn't dare reply.

"I'll keep you just long enough for those who noticed you to forget all about you." His tone was quiet, calm now, "I'll keep you safe with me, and if he wants you back in a year, he can have you. Maybe." I didn't like the way he said that, "If not, well.. Then I'd be more than happy to keep you. I never thought I'd have another chance. One like you, I can only imagine what you'll grow up to be like."

"B-But I don't want-"

"Look." He murmured, "Honestly, it's not up to you. You have no say in where you end up, little girl. If I keep you, it'll be on my terms. You will follow every single rule I lay down, or so help me you'll regret the day you were born." He was even better at scaring me with soft talk than Jack was.

He loosened his hold to a more tolerable level once Josh noticed my tears. Finally looking our way, and tugging Zack to a stop.

"Say a word." He murmured into my ear as the boys started over, "I dare you." Just the way his voice sounded now chilled me enough to keep me silent. I wasn't going to anyway, but now I knew how stupid of a move it would be.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked, flopping down to sit beside us, "Leandra?"

"She got stung by a bee." Ken excused, stroking his fingers through my hair, "She'll be alright." I nodded, agreeing to what he said. He chuckled, hugging me to him now. A lot gentler than he had before. Back to the same old, harmless guy I'd met the day before. Like he hadn't just told me that Jack was considering giving me to him like a pet he didn't want.

"Where?" Zack asked me, "I wanna see."

"You were stung last year, stupid." Josh said, quickly putting that request to rest, "You've seen a bee sting before."

"Don't be mean to him." I spoke up, gaining all three of their attentions, "Please."

"Well." Ken chuckled, standing and letting me fall to my feet, "I suppose on that note we should be getting back. Your parents must be missing you three."

I took a few seconds to close my eyes and breathe, but that didn't calm me down any.

Ken took my hand, and I sniffled. Having no choice but to follow him. We left the park behind, but the fear I felt there stayed with me.

So while this trip had started out fine, it was sliding downhill quickly. Instead of having only Jack to fear, I now had Ken. And to me, Ken seemed even more dangerous than Jack. Probably because he was new to me, and I hadn't a clue what to expect from him. Not knowing was probably what scared me more than Jack.

The moment I got back, I went in search of Jack. I went looking for who I knew. I went looking for familiar. Not only scared, but I just needed to know that he wouldn't give me away.

I would promise whatever it took for him to just keep me. To not give me to some stranger. He knew Ken, but I really didn't. I'd promise anything it took, anything. I'd promise to be good. To never talk to Alice again, if it meant I didn't have to stay here. I'd never go to school, I'd never leave the house. Just to keep him from giving me away.

That thought hurt me most. That he was even considering just giving me to someone else. How could he do that? Didn't I matter? In some small, insignificant way? I had to mean more to him than that.

I didn't know if Ken was just trying to scare me, which was what actually scared me. I wouldn't know until I could confirm it with Jack, but how would I do that without pissing him off?

I found Jack sitting in the living room beside Mike. Heather in the chair, all three watching TV and chatting. Instead of going to Mike, or to Heather, I chose to squish myself in between where Jack sat, and the armrest of the couch. Probably pale, still trembling. Looking up at him, seconds from more tears. He looked back down at me, rolling his eyes slightly.

He sighed, chuckling tightly as he pushed me from the spot. I tried to catch myself, but I wound up on the floor.

"Aw, Jack." Mike chuckled, "That wasn't very nice."

Ken came in, shaking his head at me on the floor, "Come here, honey." He reached for me, and I instantly backed away. Scooting back across the floor until I hit Heather's leg. She sighed, as if annoyed, but looking up, her eyes were on Ken. Reaching down, she helped me up until I sat with her.

"No." I whimpered, and with that one word, everything seemed too still. Too tense. Like someone had flipped a switch, and the mood before was gone. Replaced by a firmness that nearly suffocated me.

Ken hardly looked at me, the smile staying on his face as he shook his head at the floor, but I could tell what I'd just done had pissed Jack off. I looked to Jack nervously, wondering if he would dare beat me here. Maybe it would be better living with Ken. I whimpered almost silently, holding Jack's gaze stealing my breath.

"What'd she do, Jack?" Mike noticed this time, "I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad." Jack finally looked away from me. Glancing to Mike, then back to me. It was enough to let me look down.

"Leandra? Why don't you and the boys go play?" Heather suggested after a few tense, silent moments, "Josh, Zack, take Leandra and go outside."

Zack seemed less than thrilled, "But-"

"Now." She said, and Zack sighed as they both stood. Trembling, I followed. Scooting after them as fast as I could. In a situation like that, I had no idea who to listen to, but Heather gave the only instruction, so I followed it. Glancing back over my shoulder, I spotted Heather on her feet now, but she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes were on Ken.

I saw her differently now. Before, she was just someone who I thought didn't like me. Now she was someone strong. To have made it this far? If she was abused even remotely like I was, and she still managed to get older, get married and have two kids, what could I do?

Stopping in the kitchen to grab a bag of chips, Zack led the way out the back sliding-glass door. I kept my eyes down, unsure. I was still very shaken up, but once the door closed behind us outside, I felt better. Like I could breathe again. I'd let them handle it. Until later, when I'd have to face the obvious disrespect I'd given Ken.

"Well," Josh spoke up, "What do you guys wanna do?"

"What the heck was that back there?" Zack asked, stepping out onto the warm grass.

"They probably just want to talk." Josh replied, "You know how it goes." He looked to me, "You okay?"

"Not feeling very good." I whimpered, seconds from tears. I couldn't help it. I was so scared.

"You're not allergic to bees, are you?" Zack asked, falling to his butt on the grass.

"No." I mumbled, "I'm not." I actually had no idea if I was or not. I'd never been stung by one before.

"She'd have shown it by now." Josh shook his head, "A long time ago. That's probably why grandpa had her sitting with him." I looked down. They had no idea. I took a deep breath, sitting down beside Zack.

As warm as it was out here, the breeze felt nice. The sun warming my hair and face did too. I'd seen sunlight before, but not like this. This was brighter, warmer than even the sunniest days in Washington.

"You ever been to California before?" Josh asked, plopping down on my right side. Was it that obvious?

"Nope." I replied, "I've never left the state before."

"Wow." He muttered, "That must suck." I surprised myself to find I was smiling a little. The way he said that was pretty funny. Zack sighed, unrolling the bag of chips he'd swiped from the kitchen.

"How can you be hungry?" I asked, "We just had breakfast."

"Yeah, like three hours ago." He replied, surprised, "Besides. This is just a snack." I shrugged a little, allowing that.

"He can always eat." Josh told me, "I can too, but he can out-eat me."

"Must be nice." I sighed, "Two bites of something and I'm full."

"That's why you're so small." He said, "If you ate more, you'd grow more."

"Maybe." I mumbled, looking down at my hands in my lap.

Zack grinned over at me, holding up the bag, "Want some?"

"No thanks. I'm not really hungry." I replied quietly, shaking my head a little. Zack shrugged.

"More for me, then." He said, "Josh doesn't get any."

"Why not?" I asked, frowning.

"Because they're mine." Zack answered, "That's the rule."

"That doesn't seem fair." I mumbled, but before I even finished saying that, Josh darted forward. Somehow making his way over me, to attack Zack and yanked the bag from him. Probably smashing all the chips inside it as he gripped it. Now literally sitting on a struggling Zack, he pulled out a couple chips and threw them into his mouth. In the sudden movement, I was startled into standing up and moving back a step.

"Those are mine!" Zack shouted beneath him.

"Mmm!" Josh replied, "That makes them taste better!" Watching the two of them, I took another step back, but struggling now not to laugh.

"Come on!" Zack grunted, fighting to get up. I snorted a little, covering my mouth. The scene in front of me actually very funny. Just as Zack was almost loose, Josh took a few more chips, and crumpled the bag.

Tossing it at me. I caught the bag instinctively, surprised.

"Run." Josh told me, and I did as he threw himself off of Zack, and followed me. I had no clue what I was doing as I led the way through the back gate, and up the beach. Josh right behind me, and Zack following.

I caught on, understanding the game now. Running faster, I found it was fun to run without someone behind me wanting to beat me. All Zack wanted was his chips back, and given the way he laughed, he wasn't mad. He found this game just as fun as Josh and I did.

I wasn't scared of these two, as funny as it sounded. I didn't know what had come over me, to be honest, and I hadn't realized how I had been laughing. This was so much better than being scared all the time. This made it possible to forget, for just a minute, the situation inside the house.

Glancing behind me, I noticed Zack right on my tail, so I looked to Josh. He held his hands open, and I took the hint. Tossing the bag to him right as Zack caught up to me, and I jumped out of the way of his grabs.

Josh continued on with the bag of chips, and Zack's sights were on him now. I stopped running, completely out of breath as I watched them. A small smile on my face.

I had never been included in anything like that before, so it puzzled me, but not in a bad way.

I'd never really had anyone actually want to spend time with me before. All the kids my age at home always avoided me. Maybe it was the way I avoided them, but I never knew how much fun playing could be. Even though it was brief, the feeling lasted. I didn't mind it.

"You coming?" Josh called, shoving Zack's face briefly into the sand, and I had to decide. Did I want to play it safe? Or keep running with them? I was already pretty warm, given my long-sleeves, but I didn't care. Jack had told me not to be rude. Declining would have been rude.

So I followed.

We always stayed in view of the house, but they ran up and down the beach now. It seemed like they were constantly tackling and wrestling each other. They kept me out of that particular activity, not that I minded much. Zack accidentally ate sand on at least three occasions, which gave Josh enough time to get away.

I followed at my own pace, constantly trying to catch my breath. I was too hot, though. My throat dry, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.

I had to stop, though. I'd started to feel too dizzy, and it was hard not to throw up. I kneeled down on the sand, sighing as I struggled to catch my breath.

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, noticing how I'd stopped. He came back over, frowning, "You okay?"

"I don't know. I don't feel so good." I mumbled, and he looked around.

"Let's go inside for a minute." He suggested, "You're probably way too hot." He offered his hand, but before I could take it, I yelped as he was tackled. Literally flying to the side, and hitting the sand with Zack as they both grunted. I looked over, watching as they wrestled. A deeply confused frown on my face. Didn't that hurt? I'd have cried if I were tackled like that, but Josh just wrestled free like it didn't even bother him.

Boys were weird.

"Say uncle!" Josh demanded, sitting on Zack's back, twisting his arm. I couldn't stop watching. It was like a train wreck. Why did boys have to play like that?

"Stop it, guys." I mumbled, "Come on." Both Zack and Josh looked back at me, and for a second, I worried they'd somehow gotten the idea that I was up to wrestling like that.

"Uncle Jack." Zack laughed as Josh climbed off of him. I rounded, looking up at Jack standing behind me, "Don't worry. We weren't roughhousing with her."

"Good." Jack seemed fine now. Not a hint of his earlier anger to be found, "Now, Zack, you really have to work on your tackling. That was weak. Good try, though. Nice effort." Jack stepped around me, and I scooted back.

"Leandra." I looked back at Heather's voice at the gate, "Come here for a second."

Slowly, I stood up. Resting had helped the dizziness, but it was still there. I came to stand on the other side of the gate, looking up at her. She hesitated for just a second, studying me a bit before speaking, "Can we talk?"

"Sure." I mumbled, and she gestured toward the house.

I stepped through the gate, and she followed me inside. I wondered what on Earth she'd need to talk to me about. I wondered how much trouble I was in for doing what I'd done earlier. I wondered just how much like Jack she was, and whether or not her hits hurt as much as his did.

Closing the door behind herself, she gestured to the kitchen table. Taking the hint, I sat down with a sigh. It was much cooler inside, and I appreciated it. Grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge, she turned. I tensed. Was she going to throw them at me?

"I'm sorry." She said, gently setting the bottle on the table in front of me, "About this morning." I was quiet, reaching out and taking the bottle of water, "Mike told me you overheard." I bit my lip. Nodding a little.

She sighed, sitting across from me, "You have to understand. I've never had the best relationship with my father." Now I understood why.

"Then why do you come here?" I had to ask, looking up. She looked down, probably thinking, "Why do you still see him?"

"My sons." She said, "See, growing up, it had always been Jack to get the most of our father's attention. He was treated like.." She sighed, thinking, "Like royalty. Always the best of everything. Then, there was me." I waited, listening, "Remembering how wonderfully our father treated Jack, I knew my boys would be okay. I didn't want them to miss out on knowing their family, as screwed up as it was. I couldn't be selfish that way."

It was quiet for a moment, before she spoke again.

"I tried, at first, to keep the boys from knowing my brother or my father." She said, "Mike never understood, especially after I accidentally let slip how much my father could help us out financially, but after awhile, I couldn't hide from it anymore. When Josh had just turned three, and Zack was about a year old, Jack found us. We'd been living in Seattle, and I thought that was far enough away." She laughed a little, "I was wrong. Of course, Jack being Jack, he told our father where I was hiding out, and that was it. It really wasn't like we could afford to just pack up and leave without some sort of help.

"Jack was so great with them when I finally let him see them, and they loved him so much, I couldn't keep them from him anymore. Josh talked about him almost non-stop." She smiled a little, shaking her head, "Uncle Jack this, and uncle Jack that.. He was happy. Almost immediately after that, we moved to Forks."

She paused for a breath, staring down at her hands wrapped around the bottle of water, "It was hard for me, and sometimes it still is, to see my father. I don't get along with him, but my boys do, and that's what matters most to me." From what I could tell, she was nothing like Jack was. I was paying close attention to her voice, and the way she moved. She gave me no indication that she was anything like either of them. She'd tried to get away, but couldn't.

Her gaze grew sad.

"I've met your mom." She admitted quietly, "And I've met you." That threw me off for a moment, "You've met the boys before."

"I don't remember." I admitted, shaking my head a little.

"When you were about two, your mom and I met at a park one day." She said, "Your dad had been bringing you to the park for quite some time by then, but that was the first time I'd ever met her. I'd brought the boys, because they were just so energetic, and that park was within walking distance, so I thought it was a good place. She brought you. We got to talking, and I guess I just liked having someone to talk to." I knew that feeling, "We met at the park almost regularly after that." She paused, keeping her eyes down as if she were ashamed, "That was how Jack met her."

I sat there, stunned for a moment.

"He followed me to the park, wondering where I kept taking 'his' nephews, and it just happened to be on the very day I met your mom. I watched, and I knew what would happen, and I wanted to warn her about what kind of man my brother was. I really did.. She was too infatuated with him, and I can see why, but waiting for the inevitable really killed me."

I was quiet for a moment, before I decided to ask, "You knew my dad?"

"I have." She nodded, "Quite a few times, Chris would come to the park after work. Just to spend time with you where you were most happy."

"Was he a good guy?"

She was quiet for a second, before she nodded, "Yes." She answered, "He is. I could tell by the way he interacted with you, that he loved you very much." I looked down, suddenly reminded of the waitress the other morning. How easy it was for Jack to fool her. That's probably all it was. An act.

"Chris just worked so much back then, and hardly had time for his family." She explained, "But Jack somehow always made time to be there. I saw it coming, the way he wormed his way into your mom's life, so it really was no surprise when Gina told me she was getting a divorce."

"I never gave much thought," She continued, "And I suppose I really should have. Jack never mentioned you again, so I just assumed your dad had taken you in the divorce." I was quiet now, keeping my eyes down, "How wrong I really was, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. Leandra, this is the hardest thing I've ever had to admit to anyone. How I'm the reason their family fell apart. I'm so sorry, sweetheart." Her sincerity and honest guilt made my heart hurt.

"You're really brave." I couldn't help telling her, and she smiled a little at me.

"Thank you, honey." She sighed, "But bravery is not what this is." I looked down. It was quiet again, until she finally spoke up again, "You were a surprise to me, Leandra." I looked back up, "I honestly never thought I'd see you again."

That didn't surprise me.

"It worries me." She said, "To find out that he's hidden you from us for so long." She waited, probably waiting for me to say something.

"I never knew about you either." I finally mumbled, "Or Ken. I never knew he had a family."

"I see." She nodded a little, "Well, I'm not surprised you don't remember. You were just a baby back then. I lost contact with your mom. She just sort of disappeared, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. Jack.. He holds onto people. Possesses them." I knew that better than anyone, "I'm proof enough of that."

"I wish I could remember." I replied quietly. We studied each other for a moment, when she finally sighed again.

"I don't have a lot of time to talk to you." She said, "In fact, I'm surprised we've been alone this long, but I want to ask you something." I had a feeling I already knew what it was she wanted to ask, "How does Jack treat you?"

There it was. This had to be another test. Dammit. I just wanted to trust her.

I looked down, "Fine." I made my voice as convincing as I could.

"Knowing you back then, and seeing you now, Leandra.. The change is painful to see." I looked back up, keeping quiet, "I know how hard it is to trust anyone associated with him." She wasn't convinced in the least, "Believe me, I know, but I can tell you that at anytime, you can trust me. You can trust me, and you can trust Mike." She smiled a little, "I chose well when I picked him, I promise you. We'll be here awhile longer, so if you need anything, please feel free to come to us."

I didn't know what to say, so I nodded.

"Now, about today." She murmured, "Getting back here with him. I'm only guessing here, but you were shown my father's true colors." I bit my lip, "But you were never really fooled, were you?" Unable to help it, I shook my head, "I'll do my best to stand between you two. As often as I can." I appreciated that, "I don't know why Jack brought you here, but that doesn't mean your trip here has to be completely miserable."

"I know why." I mumbled, "I know why he brought me here." She waited. How could I tell her, when just the thought confused me? I didn't even know how to say it. I didn't even completely understand it, so I didn't know what not to say.

Before I could answer, though, the back door opened again, and Jack carried a struggling Zack over his shoulder into the house. Josh following, laughing at his brother's predicament. I looked down, shaking my head a little. Heather sighed.

"Feeling any better?" Josh asked, pausing by the table, "Not going to pass out again, are you?"

"Wait, what?" Heather asked, looking to me. That was obviously news to her.

"I didn't pass out." I corrected him, frowning. I didn't like the way he was trying to bring attention to me. That was obviously on purpose.

"Almost." He said, "You were pale." He looked to his mom, "She got too hot."

"It's no wonder, with that shirt on." She frowned, "Jack, doesn't she have any cooler shirts she can wear?"

"I can get her one." Zack offered from over Jack's shoulder.

"She's fine." Jack played it down, "Aren't you?"

"I'm fine." I said, "I just can't run around."

"It won't take long." Zack offered again, "I know right where one is."

"Yeah." Heather stood up, "Zack, go find that shirt. Leandra, come with me."

"I really am fine." I insisted, staying seated. I looked to Jack as he let Zack down onto his feet. He wasn't going to help me. This was one time he really needed to.

"What are we doing?" Mike entered the room, narrowly missing being run into by Zack. He dodged him, turning to the side in the doorway as Zack zipped by him. I was quickly getting overwhelmed.

"I'm getting Leandra a shirt so she doesn't pass out again." Zack answered, already through the living room and starting up the stairs.

"I didn't pass out!" I called after him.

"Come on, honey." Heather insisted, holding out her hand. I shook my head.

"I'm fine." I replied, "Everybody's freaking out for no reason."

"Oh," I closed my eyes at Ken's voice, "Meeting in the kitchen?"

"Got it!" Zack called ahead of himself, and I listened to him descending the stairs, "Don't worry, Leandra! I'll save you!" A loud thud in the living room told me he tripped, "Crap." Ken turned, looking back. Zack was obviously fine, given his running footsteps continuing a few seconds later.

"Leandra, overheating isn't something you want to play around with." Mike spoke up again as Zack made it back into the kitchen, delivering the shirt to Heather.

"I know, but-"

"Jack, you know better, man." Mike chuckled, "You know how hot it gets here. Why'd you let her take a shirt like that?"

"B-But-" I tried again.

"Here." Ken chuckled, starting forward. I stood up quickly, stepping around the table. Away from him.

"No." Heather looked to Ken, "You stay there. Leandra, come with me." She repeated, gesturing to me.

"Oh," Ken chuckled again, "Really?"

"Stop it!" I finally shouted. I'd never shouted before. Not like this, so my shouted voice sounded weird to me. Startling myself, I blinked in surprise. Recovering, I spoke again, "I like my shirt. I don't want to change out of it. J-Just.. Leave me alone, okay?"

I walked away. Dodging Heather, and Josh, I went to leave the kitchen. Headed for the living room, but Jack caught me with a deep sigh. His hand around my wrist, his other hand yanking the shirt from Heather. Tugging me from the kitchen, into the first floor bathroom. I whimpered as he pushed me, following me into the tiny space. Closing the door behind himself, he turned to look at me.

Giving me no chance to stop him, he pulled my shirt above my head and I fought my way out of the sleeves. Dropping it on the floor. I whimpered as he looked me over briefly.

"Damn." He muttered, "I did a number on you, didn't I?" He turned me around to face him, gathering the other shirt in his hands, he pulled it roughly over my head. This was one of my new t-shirts. A bigger dark blue one, so it was a little baggy on me. Coming down to almost mid-thigh, the sleeves fell just passed my elbows. Turning me around, he made sure I was completely covered. Which I was nervous about.

"There." He said as I reached up, clearing my now messy and loose hair from my eyes, "Now they can quit bitching." He bent down and lifted my old shirt, before he turned, pulling open the door again. Leaving me standing there for a moment in surprise.

I wandered out, still a little surprised at how quick everything had happened. A little dazed actually, looking down at the shirt I wore now. I was so used to wearing sleeves and a heavier material than this, a shirt like this made me feel naked.

Everything seemed to calm down from there.

"There." Mike chuckled, "Don't you feel better?" I didn't bother answering him. Ken slowly shook his head, a disappointed smile on his face. As if what had just happened had proved his point earlier.

"Can I go back outside?" I asked quietly, and the boys seemed to perk up. Smiling.

"Just take it easy, kiddo." Mike said, "Come back inside if you start feeling like that again." I nodded, letting him know I would. Just as a precaution, I carried my bottle of water with me. I now understood how convenient they could be.

To my surprise, Mike came outside with us for a while, to wrestle a little bit with the boys. Of course, letting them win. I noticed how easily he could have picked up Zack and toss him a good distance, but he didn't. He was a strong guy, but he let the boys wrestle him down to the sand like he wasn't any stronger than I was.

After a good thirty minutes, he feigned surrender, and chuckling, climbed back to his feet as they turned on each other. This time it was Zack that had gotten the better of Josh. Zack was learning.

Mike sighed as he came to my side, sitting back down in the sand with me. Reaching over, he put his finger against my upper arm, and pushed me a little. Just a little shove, hardly moving me. I looked over, confused, but his hand was already back to himself. Resting in the sand in front of him.

"What?" He asked, "I didn't do anything."

"Yeah you did." I frowned, still confused. I shrugged, looking back down at the sand running through my hands. Yet another little shove came, and I caught his hand this time, "Aha!"

"Caught me." He chuckled, and I couldn't help laughing a little as well. I released his wrist, looking back down.

"So." He started, "How is old Jack as a dad?" I paused, my small smile instantly fading.

"Fine." I answered immediately, concentrating on the sand again. I wished people would stop asking me that. I understood that he was rather popular, but damn.

"I know he's great with the boys." He commented, "What I just can't figure out, is why he never brought you by to see us. You've been hidden for.. What? Five years?" He must have never been there at the park with Heather.

"Six." I mumbled, sighing.

"Six years." He corrected himself, "And you seem very mature for your age." I didn't know what to say to that, "I haven't seen you step out of line once, but the way Jack watches you, it's like he's expecting you to burn down the house or something."

"I'd never do that." I murmured, shaking my head.

"You're a good kid, Leandra." He replied, "I know you wouldn't. You might rob a bank, or steal a car, but never burn down the house." Obviously a joke.

"Thank you." I smiled a little, appreciating the first part of what he said.

"But." I hated that word, "There's something about you. You don't act like any nine year old I've ever met before. You act more like some twenty-five year olds I know." I didn't know what to say to that.

"What's your story, kiddo?" I looked up at him, confused, "I know you've got one, and I know it's got to be a big one."

"Leandra." I sighed, looking down at Jack's voice calling from the house, "Come here." Why couldn't he just leave me be for longer than thirty seconds? I stood up beside Mike, and turned. Walking back toward the house, I sighed quietly.

"I'm being good." I murmured quietly to him.

Not bothering to reply to that, he took my wrist in his hand and tugged me inside. The way he held my wrist now told me something was off. It worried me, because it hurt. He hadn't done that in a few days, and I whimpered as I followed him. Ow, ow, ow. He was pissed about something, and I had a sinking feeling I knew what it was about.

"Jack?" Heather had noticed.

Through the kitchen, and up the stairs. Straight toward the room I shared with him.

When we got up to the room, he pushed open the door, and dragged me inside painfully. It wasn't that he had dragged me all the way up here that made me pause. It was the fact that everything in my bag was now in a pile on the floor. Everything except one thing.

Sitting on the bed, on the dark blue comforter, was a little white card that I knew he'd found. Slamming the door behind himself, he threw the lock, and crossed the room. His breathing racing in his anger as he lifted the card. Holding it up, looking to me pointedly.

Uh-oh.

**A/N: Well, this one was fun.  
>I did appreciate being able to revisit Heather's talk with her after getting out the story about Leandra's past. That actually was fun. :D<strong>  
><strong>A million huge, gigantic, massive THANK YOU's to my AMAZING reviewers of last chapter! :D <strong>  
><strong>I hope you guys enjoyed this one. I know a few are probably disappointed about how things are staying the same, but there are only so many places I could switch things up, and to be honest, I wanted to keep this part the same. Giving my brain a bit of a break before the inevitable changes in the next stories with just editing and adding, instead of having to come up with all new scenes. I hope that made sense.<strong>  
><strong>Well, nine I'm pretty enthusiastic about as well as ten, so I won't try to put out an estimate on when it'll be released, due to the coming days (which I'm not too big of a fan of), but we'll just see how that goes, shall we?<strong>  
><strong>Until Nine, my friends! :D<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**ImPORTANT NOTE: A few significant mentions of abuse in this chapter. Read with caution if you're sensitive to those types of mentions.**

**Chapter Nine**

It took me a moment to realize what had happened.

Without even knowing what he was doing, Zack had gotten me into trouble. By dumping everything from my bag, he'd either emptied the card out as well, or uncovered it for Jack to look twice at. Which was bad. Very bad.

Jack didn't say a word. Probably waiting for my nervous mind to come up with some sort of explanation.

"Um.." Was all I could manage.

"Really?" He finally asked, and though his voice wasn't shouted, I took a step back. I thought hard, "Where'd you get this?"

"I found it." I mumbled, hoping he'd believe me.

"You found it?" He asked pointedly, and I nodded, "Really?" He was giving me a chance to change my lie. I wasn't about to, however, "Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not." I replied, "I'm not."

"You know how much I hate it when you lie to me." His quiet voice was anything but calm anymore, "You just happened to find a card with the exact same number on it that called me that day?" Stupidly, I nodded. It was true. I did find it. I found it in my pocket. I just never told him about it.

"Now explain to me. Why did you decide to bring it with you?" He'd never believe that I didn't find it until we were already here. It'd be stupid to expect him to.

"I-I don't know-"

"Why didn't you just.." He stepped closer, "Throw it away?" I was quiet, "Why the fuck do you have this?"

"I found it."

"Bull shit." He snapped quietly, "You brought this as a back-up plan. Didn't you?" He'd figured it out. Having a secret wasn't fun anymore. It wasn't. It was scary now. I suddenly remembered why it was stupid to keep things from him.

I stayed quiet. The pressure squeezed me, and I knew I needed come up with something. Soon.

I bit my lip, keeping my eyes down as he asked again, "Didn't you?"

That was the second, and I knew without a doubt if he had to ask a third time, it wouldn't be pretty. I kept silent, however, nervously clasping my hands behind my back. I didn't feel comforted by the fact that there were others in the house. Not with the anger I saw in his eyes.

I was nervous, but more protective of them. If he knew about them continuing to help me, that put them in danger too. I worried for them. Although, it would be pretty funny to see him try to hurt Emmett. That didn't make me laugh, though. I didn't want them anywhere near him.

He wouldn't give up as easily this time.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, and that hardened his gaze. His eyes narrowing just a bit, his tone getting just as tight.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked, stepping even closer. I was quiet again, stepping back. Whimpering as my back hit the wall beside the door, "Huh? What are you sorry for?"

"I-I.." I couldn't make my voice work, even if I could think of what to say. His hand came up, slowly grasping and tightening on my neck. My tight breathing shook again, which I was sure he wanted to hear.

"Jack?" Heather was knocking at the door now, "Open the door." He glanced to the door, tightening his clenched teeth.

Spinning me, he dragged me across the room. Away from the door now. Probably so he could talk to me without Heather overhearing, but I wasn't focused on that. I was more preoccupied with the increasing difficulty to breathe. Jack was quiet, as was I. We looked at each other now. His jaw clenched in anger, his eyes reflecting it as well.

"What are you sorry for?" He asked again. I knew what he was worried about.

"I didn't tell." I whimpered quietly, a single sob leaving with my whispered voice, "I didn't. I was good. I swear I was good." As much as I could whimper, anyway.

"Are you telling me this guy doesn't know anything about what I do?" He asked, holding up the card, and I averted my eyes, "Leandra?"

"They figured it out." I whimpered as his hand tightened, "I didn't say anything, I even denied it."

"Jack?" Heather again, "Leave her alone."

"And just what did they figure out?"

"They figured it out." I sobbed, "I didn't say anything. They figured it-"

"Figured _what_ out?" He growled through his teeth.

My silence this time pissed him off, given the too-tight way he held my neck in his hand. Completely cutting off my breath for just a moment, "You stupid little slut." My hand came up, trying to pry his hand off my neck, but he captured it with his other hand and threw it off of him. I squeezed my eyes shut, my hand replacing itself. I couldn't help it.

I fought a little, but that just made him hold tighter. Pushing me back against the wall beside the window with a quiet thud. I shook now in a handful of fearful sobs.

"That's the last fucking straw." Jack muttered, crumpling the card in his hand, "That's it, you dumb bitch." I watched as he tossed the card away from him, and it fluttered into the corner. I tried to tell him to let me go, but I couldn't make a sound. Tears continued to scatter down my cheeks, though. I couldn't look up at him.

He suddenly moved, shoving me harder back against the wall before releasing me, allowing me to fall. Stepping back, away from where I laid on my side against the wall. He was still standing there, watching me as I dizzily pushed myself up. Looking up at him. It bothered him to look at me. I could see that in his eyes.

Heather knocked louder on the door now, "Jack? Dammit! Open the door!"

Neither of us spoke now as I rubbed my sore neck. Looking up at him, I didn't dare look away now. The moment I did, I'd probably get kicked. At the very least.

"That's it." He finally muttered again, pointing at me, "_You're_ the reason.." He trailed off, falling silent again, "It's _you_.. I didn't want to have to do this, but now I'm sure of it. _Now_ thanks to you.." He trailed off again.

"Jack!" Heather shoved harder at the door, but the lock held.

I flinched as he suddenly turned around with a growl of anger. Striding back across the room.

He yanked open the door, and I stayed there, watching as he left. Pushing passed Heather standing in the hall, and I heard him start heavily down the stairs.

He was mad. I knew that much, but he'd never been too mad to hit me before. That's the feeling I got from that. Heather's presence outside the door hadn't done anything to stop him from hitting me. It was his anger level that stopped him. I'd never seen him that mad before without him doing something about it.

What did he mean by that? That's it? What was it? Heather peeked in as I shakily climbed back to my feet, using the wall to brace myself on. I walked over, lifting the squished card in the corner beside the bed.

"Are you alright?" She asked, and I nodded a little.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, smoothing out the card. It remained wrinkled, but it was otherwise fine. I was actually surprised he let me keep it. What did that tell me? Maybe he just forgot about it?

"What happened?" She asked, stepping in.

Instead of answering, I stood up, and moved to my bag now. Kneeling beside it, I started to put everything away, almost numb. What was that? I didn't recognize anything about the tone of his voice, so I had no way to figure out how much trouble I was in later.

I knew he was mad. That was clear, but it sounded different. I was scared, which was probably easy to see, but she wouldn't know why.

Heather helped me. Kneeling next to me, folding everything with me, and I knew she could see my uncertainty when I glanced up at her.

"I won't try to make excuses for him." She finally said, "But I know he's got a temper. He's always had one." She watched me, "Show me a man that doesn't have a temper." She laughed a little, probably trying to cheer me up. I only glanced at her, no smile anywhere near my face.

She set the shirt she held down, "What happened?"

"This." I whispered, hesitantly holding up the card. She gently took it from me, smoothing it out a little more and looking it over with a small frown. I sniffled a little, "He found it."

"This is yours?" She asked, looking to me, "You know Dr. Cullen?" I nodded a little.

"Alice." I mumbled, "She's his daughter, and she's my friend."

She was beginning to understand, "And he thinks..?" I nodded again.

"That's the only number I have, and I just wanted one friend." I couldn't help starting to cry. She reached over, hugging me tightly with a sigh, "But he's so mad."

"I'll tell him it's mine." She offered, and I looked up at her, "That I gave it to you."

"No." I murmured, "Then he'll be mad at you."

"I can handle it, sweetheart." She replied, "I think I'm the only one in the world almost immune to it." She sighed, looking at the card again, "I'll take this with me for now, okay? I'll give it back tonight." I nodded a little, despite the way I wanted to hold onto it.

"And, honey?" I looked back up at her, "You have more than one friend now. No matter what, I'm not losing track of you again."

I hoped she knew how much I held onto that. I began to understand what she meant about what she said the morning before, about what I meant to her. She must have been better friends with my parents than I thought.

"Stay in here." She murmured, hugging me tighter briefly before she released me, "I found it easiest just to give him space when he gets like that. Let me talk to him." That was all she said, patting my hands as she stood up. Leaving the room. Giving me my space as well.

I always felt shaky after he threatened me like that, but this was different.

Something was going to go wrong. I knew it. It wasn't over, and I knew better than to think it was. That had more to do with knowing Jack, though.

I came back downstairs after putting everything away, hesitantly in search of Jack. Almost nothing seemed wrong by just looking around, but I could feel it. Especially seeing Jack standing there talking to Heather. Ken sitting across the room with the boys.

Jack didn't seem to notice me right away. Lost in his conversation with his sister. As if I were suddenly invisible. I worried. Had I made up his mind?

Something had changed. I knew that the moment he glanced at me. Jack was angry, that much was clear, but Ken was pleased. He was happy about something, confirmed by his smile as I turned to look at him, and I didn't trust that smile one bit.

I tried to ignore it, the way Ken watched me all through dinner. I tried to ignore it, the way Jack acted like I wasn't even there. I didn't like this. The cold distance he gave me worried me.

He wasn't possessive. He wasn't protective. He wanted me gone.

That was it. That was what he meant earlier. That had to mean that he was going to leave me here. Once everyone had eaten, I sat there at the empty table, watching Jack and Ken again. They sat out on the back porch, smoking and talking. No doubt about me.

"Distracted, much?" I jumped at Zack's voice as he literally popped up beside me at one point, yelping. He grinned, "Scared you."

"Yeah." I muttered, "You scared me."

"What are you thinking about?" He asked.

"Lots of stuff." I sighed, finally looking over at him, "What about you? Where's Josh?"

"He's helping mom clean the kitchen." He answered, taking the open seat beside me. I looked over, noting that I should have seen that easily for myself. I was more distracted than I thought.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I told him with a sigh, "How much do you know about Jack?"

He immediately smiled, "Jack's the coolest uncle in the world." He replied, "I love my dad, but if I had to choose a second dad, Jack would be it. Why?"

"No reason." I shrugged a little, "Just wondering."

"Well, if you don't stop wondering, I think your head is gonna explode." He admitted, "Come on. Let's go sneak some cookies." I was pretty full from dinner, but I figured one wouldn't hurt. Anything to ease my tension and worry. So I stood up with him, following him.

"I hear you guys are leaving tomorrow." Zack added conversationally.

"We are?" That was a surprise.

"Even before us." He replied, surprised, "Dad has to get back, because he has work on Wednesday. He always says he doesn't like to navigate through idiots in a hurry." He looked over at me as we crossed the space into the kitchen area from the dining area, "Think we'll see each other again? Or is Uncle Jack going to hide you away again?"

"I don't even know." I told him quietly, "No promises."

"It'd be nice to see you again, I think." He added, "I kinda don't want to leave."

"You never want to leave." Josh overheard as he paused, three clean plates stacked in his hands. Heather placed a fourth on the pile.

"Well, I really don't want to leave this time." Zack corrected, "Leandra's going to disappear again." I looked down at that word. I wasn't the biggest fan of it.

"Not if I can help it." Heather added next.

I watched as she grabbed two small plates, and turned for the fresh plate of cookies on the far counter. How did she know what we were in here for?

"Think we'll see her again, mom?" Zack asked.

"We will." She replied with a small, comforting smile, placing one small plate of cookies in front of Zack. He immediately picked one up as she placed the other small plate of two cookies in front of me.

"Good." Josh gave a nod, and I smiled slightly.

"Thank you." I told her quietly.

"Thanks, mom." Zack echoed me, as if just remembering. She smiled appreciatively at him now, patting his head.

I watched my plate. I wasn't sure if I wanted these or not, to be honest. I felt sick. Not quite nauseous, but cold. Trembly, shaky.

"Really." Zack piped up around half a cookie in his mouth, his eyes on me, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I mumbled again, shaking my head.

"Mom, I think she's sick or something." Zack mumbled, looking to his mom. He leaned over holding up two fingers at me, "How many?"

"Stop it." I couldn't help laughing a little. Swatting his hand away as he gave me a grin in return.

"Leandra?" Heather spoke up, and I looked to her, "Come over here for a second, please." I watched her brush her hands on her jeans as she rounded the counter. I instantly hopped down from my seat, following her back toward the dining area. She wanted to talk to me.

She turned me to face her, glancing back toward where the boys stayed, both of them probably curious. I watched her reach into her pocket, lifting out the card.

I had to admit, I was reluctant to believe I'd get it back, but she handed it to me easily.

"I told him it was me that gave it to you." She told me quietly, "But honestly, I don't think it made a difference." I nodded a little, "Be careful with this, sweetie. Remember what I said. Jack holds onto people. No matter what it takes. No matter the cost."

I nodded again.

"I know." I mumbled, looking back up at her.

"I know you do." She wasn't fooled, "Just tell me.. Tell me it's not as bad as I think it is."

I stood silently, not sure how to answer. I would never confirm it, at least not to her, but I wasn't busting my ass to deny it either.

The silence was quickly smashed as I heard the back door slide open, both Heather and I looking over as Jack and Ken filed into the house. I scrambled to stuff the card into my pocket. Scrunching it in there, probably crumbling it worse.

"Leandra." Jack effectively killed that moment. He was calling for me. I went to turn, but Heather caught me.

"Leandra," She murmured, and I didn't miss the way her voice lowered. Jack continued on, Ken still following him. Leaving us in privacy once more.

I looked up at Heather again, and she continued, "I don't know what you're waiting for, but you won't get another chance like this. You won't get another chance like now. You have a way out, and it's paved right in front of you. I watched him overtake and destroy your mom's life. I won't watch it happen to you too. I'm watching, sweetheart. I'm watching, and I'm waiting. Don't waste this chance, Leandra."

I hesitated, slightly more nervous now. She had such confidence in me. How could I let her down? I'd have to.

"Goodnight." I mumbled, and she seemed slightly disappointed, but sighed with a nod.

"Goodnight, baby." The term affectionate, not condescending or mean, I appreciated it. No one but my mom had ever called me that, but it meant a whole lot more coming from Heather.

I turned, moving to follow Jack. Just like he wanted. Just like he told me to.

"Night, guys." I called to the boys.

"Night." Josh and Zack returned at the same time.

I found Ken and Jack in the dim living room, finishing up a discussion. Words I really didn't want to hear.

"Now, you can't be complaining." Ken grumbled quietly to him, "You know this is best."

"Yeah." Jack replied bitterly, "Yeah, I get it."

"You'll get used to it." Ken assured him, reaching out as I neared hesitantly. He took my shoulder in his hand, two of his fingers finding and lightly petting my neck as he tugged me to his side. I was in on it now. I knew what this was.

Had he been saying earlier that he didn't want to have to leave me here? Was that what he had meant? It sure made sense. A couple of papers in Ken's other hand took my attention. I recognized just the top page, which was my birth certificate. The official typing across the top announcing that. Certificate of live birth. My name on the first line.

Why would he have that? Unless he was planning on keeping me longer than a year.

"Come on." Jack growled at me, taking my wrist. Still reeling from what I'd seen, I didn't resist much as he pulled me away from Ken, nearly shoving me forward toward the stairs.

I actually hoped Jack would address what happened earlier, though. I was trembling on my way up the stairs. I couldn't help it, not with Jack directly behind me. I didn't think he'd hit me here, but I could be wrong.

Once in the room, the door closed firmly, I was shoved forward. Hitting the bed with a bounce, I flipped over and looked up at him.

"Go to sleep." Was all he said to me. He went to leave again, but I stupidly spoke up.

"He wants to keep me." I pointed out quietly. I needed to know what was going on, or I'd lost my damn mind.

"And?" He barked, "Whether or not he gets to keep you is not up to you."

"You won't let him keep me, will you?" I asked pleadingly, more scared than I had been in awhile. At least over something non life-threatening. I didn't want to stay here. Just leaving my life behind? As shitty as it was, I really didn't want to spend a year, maybe more, with Ken. I didn't like Ken. I didn't know him, and I sure as shit didn't trust him to keep me alive.

"Why wouldn't I let him keep you?" He countered, "You're nothing but trouble. Something I never signed on for. Worthless, and weak. You're pathetic." His words hurt more than I was sure he knew, "Why the hell would I want to keep you around? I should have shoved you at him the first chance I got."

He was getting more and more irritated the more he spoke. I looked down now, my eyes closing. Fighting back the tears, but losing. All I wanted was to be wanted. All I ever did was try to do as he said.

"Stop your crying." He barked again and I shrunk a little, looking down, "You should be glad he wants you. You're lucky I don't just drop you off in the middle of Mexico somewhere." Hadn't I just been considering him doing that? "Let someone else profit off your ass. My dad raised me just fine. You'll be no damn different."

He'd decided. What he just said proved it. The way his ice blue eyes bored into mine also told me. He had decided. That's what had changed. I didn't want this! Had I known this was a possibility, I probably would never have taken the card with me. Or at least hidden it way better, but the way it was found, there wouldn't have been many good places to hide it.

He crossed the room, seeing I was still crying. I whimpered, scooting back the way I had done to Ken just a few hours before. Before I could retreat much further, he kneeled on the bed beside me, and caught my neck yet again. Pulling me closer, I gasped a little in my fear.

"You're pathetic." He repeated, frowning at me, "I'm actually relieved to be rid of you." He sighed in annoyance, looking away briefly before returning his gaze to mine, "I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon, and you won't be coming."

"No." I cried, "You can't do that." I hadn't anticipated the slap. It was a harder slap than I'd gotten from him in a few days, and my cheek stung with the pain.

"Shut the fuck up. You don't tell me what I can and can't do, little girl." He growled, closer to me now, "You don't say what I do. You don't say what you do. I say what you do. My dad says what you do. Stop crying." This was the second time he had to tell me. I whimpered, struggling to do as he told me. He shook me a little, his hand tight around my neck, only succeeding in drawing a sob from me.

Why was I fighting this so much? Sure, Ken was creepy and cringe-inducing, but he hadn't really hurt me yet. Not like Jack had.

Maybe because I didn't want to be stuck here for a year, while Alice forgot about me. I couldn't let that happen. My hands came up, gripping onto his wrist as he shook me again. I shook my head, struggling to keep my tears under control.

He'd had enough.

Pinning me roughly to the bed by my neck, I coughed until I couldn't.

"Stop crying." He growled, squeezing my neck in his hand. I remembered this. I really didn't want to go through this again, but I had little choice either way. Reaching up, he roughly wiped my face with his free hand. Clearing the tears from my cheeks. My tears only renewed as I struggled for breath.

"I should just kill you now." He said, "Then you'd be nobody's problem, but I won't. You don't belong to me anymore. You're not mine to kill. You're his to do whatever the hell he wants to with you. You're his problem now."

I had to be more than that to him. More than just some problem, but I knew better than that. I stopped struggling, knowing that was what he wanted. I stopped resisting, and sure enough, he released my neck a few seconds later.

"I don't want you anymore." He told me, "You're his problem now. I'm done dealing with you." I laid there, gasping for breath as he climbed off of me, "Since your bitch of a mother left, I don't have an obligation to give a shit anymore. Why should I keep you when this is easier on me?" A few more sobs left me, and I sat up.

Stupidly, I spoke up.

"You can't leave me here." I coughed a sob, "You can't."

"Watch me." Was his reply.

"I'll tell." Threatening him. Now I knew I definitely had lost my mind. That sure stopped him in his tracks. He paused, slowly turning to face me.

Even more stupidly, I kept talking, "I-If you leave me here, I'll tell. I swear I will, Jack. I'll do it. I'll tell everyone everything you did to me."

I realized my mistake a second before he reached me, and I struggled. Scrambling to get off the bed, but he caught my lower leg. Pulling me back onto the bed, and flipping me back over onto my back. He gripped my face in his hand painfully, and I knew if he applied just a bit more pressure, he'd really injure me. I could feel the strain as it was. He leaned over me, looking into my eyes as my hands reached up, trying to pry his fingers loose.

"No you won't." He murmured, "Because even someone as stupid as you are knows when something they do will get them killed. Trust me. You won't say a word to anyone." I couldn't reply to that. He knew me too well, "Not. One. Person." Each of those three words had a patting sort of slap against my cheek behind it.

He released me, and climbed back off the bed as I tried to recover from the pain. Once he was far enough away, I sat up. Panting, and tears still spilling from my eyes. I watched him closely, watching as he pulled open the door.

"Watch me." I challenged, and he paused yet again. Looking back at me. Instead of coming back over, though, all he did was shake his head and leave the room. Closing the door behind him.

Now what?

First things first. I moved for my bag, yanking open the zipper with trembling hands before digging the card out of my pocket. Looking it over, sniffling and blinking tears from my eyes. I wouldn't let them go. Even if it was for my own good, and theirs as well. I couldn't.

I carefully hid the card, now folded twice, into a balled up pair of my socks. Burying that pair of socks at the bottom of the bag. I'd know which pair it was, but Jack would probably assume Heather had kept it.

I chose a set of dark gray and white dotted pajamas. I liked this set, because the bottoms had a zippered pocket in the back. I thought that was neat, so I bought them.

He came back into the room before I'd fallen asleep, but it wasn't brought up again. By either of us. I laid there, sniffling on the bed. Considering my options as he settled on the bed behind me.

Maybe Ken wouldn't be so bad. Sure I hated him, but he hadn't even really hurt me yet. He just scared me. He didn't hurt me. Jack had. Why was I struggling so hard to stay with him? Maybe it was more than being afraid of Alice forgetting about me. Maybe it was because Jack was all I had left of everything I knew.

My mom had already left me. Maybe I didn't want Jack to as well. Maybe I just didn't want to be abandoned by everyone I knew. First my dad, then my mom. Now Jack? What was so wrong with me?

I only wanted to be wanted.

He offered no comfort this time when he laid down. He acted as if I weren't even there, which was highly preferable to the alternative, but it meant he'd already let me go. I could feel it.

As I laid awake that night, staring around the moon-lit room, I considered ways to get Jack to change his mind. I could beg, but that never got me the result I wanted. What I said earlier had given me an idea, though.

Maybe if I pissed him off even more, he'd want to be the one to correct me? I would have to piss him off a lot for that to happen, clearly. It didn't take much to piss him off anyway, so that wasn't an issue.

Thinking harder now, I listened to his deep breathing behind me, and I came up with an idea. It was stupid. Very stupid, but I had to try. I needed to piss him off to change his mind. I wasn't about to just let myself be given to Ken like that. I wasn't about to just let myself be given away.

There was one sure way to piss him off.

I slowly rolled out of bed, standing in the dark room. Searching for something that would work. Looking around the room, I spotted Jack's belt hanging on the wall by the door. This was just stupid enough to work.

Crossing the room, I slowly reached up and struggled it off the hook, the buckle hitting the floor with a thud before I could catch it.

Wincing, I looked back at where he slept. Waiting for him to move, but he didn't. His breathing resumed. I sighed, looking at the cold leather in my hands as I slowly crossed the room toward him. How could something so harmless hurt somebody so much? Just holding it made me tremble lightly, inspecting it between my hands. It felt too heavy, but I couldn't let myself think about that.

Could I do this? I stopped by his side of the bed, looking at him laying there. I gathered it the way he always did. Wrapping it around my hand, leaving a tail at the end, my hand able to hold a lot less than his could. I brought it back, and paused. Thinking about what this would do.

Before I could swing it down across his face like I wanted to, he suddenly moved. His sudden movement scared me, and I yelped.

Reaching out, he grabbed me by the waist and spun me around as I dropped the belt. Slamming me down on my back onto the bed, near his feet. Being laid across the bed so suddenly stunned me, and he pinned me there. His hand over my mouth, he straddled me. Sitting across my stomach, pinning me in place with his knees.

"Lesson one." He murmured in a growl, "Make sure I'm asleep before ever attempting that again." I whimpered behind his hand, writhing a little. Adjusting his hold over my mouth he pinched my nose closed, and punched me in the stomach. Despite his hand tightly in place, the air rushed out of me around it in a cry, but I couldn't breathe in. The pain was intense, and I couldn't make a sound. His hand too big on my face.

Fighting under him, I struggled to breathe. Squeezing my eyes shut around the involuntary tears. Releasing me after a few seconds, his hand released my mouth. I coughed hard, fighting for another breath in. His knees squeezed me, not letting that happen.

Unfortunately, he only released me for a rough, jarring slap.

"If you ever try that again," He growled, grabbing my face in his hand, "You've got a lot worse than that coming. I promise."

He got off of me, probably making sure I didn't die right there. Letting me get a breath in. I arched a little in an attempt to breathe in deeper than I was capable of right then, but eventually settled back down, coughing that breath back out as I rolled slightly.

With a sigh, he laid back down. Making sure to kick me in the head as he did so, "Now go to sleep, you stupid bitch."

After a few intensely painful moments, I rolled up and crawled weakly to the other side of the bed.

"Oh, no." He chuckled as I laid down, "You fucked up." Sitting up, he took my arm violently in his hand, and pulled me off the bed. Pulling me over him and onto the floor, "You get the floor, and don't let me catch you on the couch, either."

I whimpered as he released me, letting me fall to my knees. I hadn't quite gotten the strength back in my legs. I kneeled there, rubbing my bruising arm as I looked up at him. Watching as he laid back down with a chuckling sigh.

"Moron." He muttered.

So there I laid, curled into a ball on the hard floor once I fully regained my breath. Blinking slow, silent tears from my eyes.

My plan had failed, horribly, and I didn't have another one, so I gave up for the night. I was cold, and I knew I deserved this. The pain was intense, but nothing I hadn't felt before. I knew I'd live, but it was a very hard lesson to learn.

I woke in the morning to Jack kicking me on his way passed me to the bathroom. I rolled a little with the force of it, so I knew it wasn't an accident. My back protesting at the point of impact, and not just the bruises.

Thanks to my horrible night on the floor, I was tired. More tired than usual, and sore. I sat up, climbed to my feet, and crawled onto the bed and sat with my back to the door. I hoped sitting here was at least acceptable.

Blinking tiredly in the bright morning light, I sat there almost dazed for a minute. I raised my shirt, looking over the new bruise I had on my stomach. It wasn't as bad as it could be, but it did hurt a whole lot. Deeper than the skin, it ached.

I looked back up, glancing over as Jack came back into the room, reaching down to lift the belt off the floor where I'd dropped it the night before. Inches from me. I let my shirt drop, not daring to move a muscle otherwise. I watched him closely, nervously biting my lip.

Glancing over, he noticed me watching him nervously, and he smirked. He chuckled, standing upright. Shaking his head, he turned. I thought he was going to ignore me again, so when he headed for the door, I looked down. Until I felt the pain.

He'd turned around, and gave me one good slap across my back with the belt. The sound echoing in the room as my skin erupted in pain. In what felt like a split second, he was there behind me. His hand back over my mouth, pinning my head back against his chest.

"Hold it." He threatened instantly in my ear, "Don't make a sound. Not one. Don't you dare." I held my breath where it threatened to leave me in a howl as he released my mouth. Testing me even more. Testing me to my limit. He obviously had more confidence in me than I thought before.

Biting my lip painfully as I laid to the side. He let me, watching. I let out the breath that tried to burst out in a only quiet sobbing whimper. The pain making my head spin, and my stomach turn. I sobbed again, the sound drawn out, but quiet. I shook, trembled, but didn't dare make a louder sound than that.

"Ow." I panted quietly through tears, and he chuckled.

"I'm impressed." He said, and he stood up. Seconds later, I heard the door close. Seconds after that, I was in harder, breathless tears. Rolling slowly a bit to muffle the sound in the blanket. Why did living have to hurt so much? I could feel the burning pain of the new welt raising over the older ones, aching deeply. Just like the new bruises he'd given me the night before.

I stayed laying there, sniffling to myself quietly.

I should be happy. I should be glad he stopped at one. I listened to the loud conversation downstairs. Jack's voice let nothing slip about the morning's activities. His laugh gave nothing away, until I couldn't hear it anymore.

Taking several deep breaths, I realized how lonely I was. How much I wanted someone to understand. To be able to talk to someone.

I thought about Alice yet again. She said she already knew. I could talk to her, I considered, just not mention where I was. All I wanted was to feel like someone cared about me again. Someone from home. Someone who could help me if I needed it. Heather was great and all, but she wasn't who I wanted. Someone like Alice wanting to be my friend was a very addicting feeling.

I didn't have to be alone. I didn't have to suffer alone.

Forcing myself up, I hoped I had some time before I would be bothered. Glancing across the room, right to where I knew Jack's cellphone sat on the bedside table. He never grabbed it, as I could plainly see it sitting there.

I made a quick stop to my bag, and was incredibly relieved to find the card still sitting inside it. Still crinkled, but there it was.

I pulled the phone to me, sitting stiffly on the bed. Suddenly feeling even more lonely fueled me as I turned the card over in my hand. I dialed the number carefully.

I sat there for a second, staring at the number on the small screen. Hesitating in pressing the 'call' button. What was I even going to say? That I just called to chat? Get her hopes up for nothing? Admit how pathetic I really was, and just wanted to talk to her? And that's even if she was with Carlisle. He'd probably be at work or something.

Damn.

Before I could call, however, the door opened. I darted to my feet. Standing there, I hid the phone and the card behind my back. Hastily clearing the number as Ken held my gaze. I slowly, very carefully slid the card into the back pocket of my pajama pants I wore, hoping he didn't see me move. Zipping it closed, just in case.

"Jack took the boys and their parents to lunch." Ken informed me after a few very tense seconds of silence, "As a sort of goodbye thing. Come on downstairs." If he noticed anything, he wasn't saying anything.

"When will he be back?" I asked quietly on my way passed him. He was quiet as he turned with me, sighing and taking my shoulder painfully in his hand. I winced, squeaking, but was otherwise silent. He noticed Jack's phone still in my hand, and he took it from me. Holding onto it himself.

"Leandra." He scolded, his tone half amused, "Now that you're mine, we can set a few ground rules." I hesitated, looking up at him.

"Ground rules?" I asked.

"Basic rules." He clarified, "The rules upon which every other rule will be based." That made sense, and I nodded a little. I looked down, though, as he started down the stairs with me. Just so I didn't trip or miss a step.

"They're pretty easy." He continued, "Don't speak, don't ask questions unless expressly told to. Don't whine, don't cry, don't bug me. You'll go to school, and you'll come home. Dinner at five, and bed by nine. Every day."

All of these sudden rules made my head spin a little. I was half surprised he was offering food every day. I nodded, letting him know I heard him. We reached the bottom of the stairs, and he led me toward the living room.

Those rules weren't much different than the ones Jack had set for me. They didn't seem so bad. Not so hard to live with. We stopped walking, and I looked up at him.

"If you're to go anywhere, I want to know where." He added, "Anyone you talk to, I want to know who. Names, numbers. Friends are okay. No boyfriends. Not ever." I shook my head at that one. I doubted I'd ever want one anyway.

"Follow these rules, and we'll be okay." He continued, setting the phone down on the table, "Don't follow these rules, and we'll have a problem. I don't like having a problem." He was no longer trying to be comforting,

"See, I'm not stupid. The way Jack went about things was stupid. I'm surprised nobody noticed you sooner, but that won't happen here. You're stuck with me, sweetheart, and I know ways to punish you without leaving a mark."

His tone scared me now. He meant every word, and I knew I had every reason to be afraid of him.

I realized then how small I was compared to him. I'd known it before, but somehow, his gaze made me feel even smaller as he turned me to face him. In a split second, I went from cooperative, to wanting to run. Just as I had with Alice, but this was out of fear, instead of self-preservation. I knew the difference.

I wasn't afraid of Alice, but I was afraid of Ken.

I tried to take a step back, but his hands captured my head, near my neck. Leaning down until he could stare straight into my eyes. I had no choice but to return his gaze. Even if it scared me. I gave a quiet whimper, trying to turn my head to look away, but he kept a tight hold. He waited until I stopped any attempts at freedom to speak again.

Just the way he looked at me made my skin crawl.

"But make no mistake, darling." He murmured softly, "I'm not against leaving marks. You know what that's like, don't you? Being beaten within an inch of your life? Follow those rules, and you won't be. Break those rules, you'll face the consequences."

I gave a brief, tiny struggle, but he just held me even tighter.

"To keep my son out of jail, I'll take you in." His tone was soft again, but still just as dangerous. Giving me a small nod, "You don't want him in jail, do you?" I was quiet, my breathing trembling along with me, "Do you?"

"N-No." I murmured, and he smiled a little. I bit my trembling lip briefly.

"Good." He said, his smile still in place, "That's good, because.." He paused, holding me tighter as I whimpered and tried to pull away again. His thumbs rubbed my cheeks almost softly, "It's very easy for someone like you to go missing around here, and I'm a very good liar. I can do the things I will do, and I will do them, because I know how, and there's nothing you can do about it. I'll be making sure that not one person will ever believe you. They'll turn on you so fast, you won't know what fucking hit you. If you follow my rules, we won't have a problem, and there's only one thing I'm asking of you in return."

I was alone with this lunatic. With one fleeting thought, my fear tripled. This was how it would be when Jack left without me. He was going to leave me here. I couldn't help the sob, watching him smile.

I couldn't speak now if I wanted to. A strong tremble drew a whimper from me. Until suddenly, he pulled me closer, and his lips pressed to mine. In a startled reaction, I fought, but he held me there easily. My strength no match for his. His hands managed to knot in my hair, effectively cementing me to the spot.

My struggles only seemed to make him hold me tighter. I kicked and thrashed, but it did no good. My legs wouldn't hold me anymore, but he held me up. His kisses were painful, and I cried now. I squealed in protest as I felt his breath on my face, seconds away from loudly bawling. I sobbed against his lips, unable to do much else.

Jack never kissed me. Not once, so this scared me.

My legs were still useless in holding me upright, so when he finally shoved me away from him, I fell right to my butt. However, once I realized I was free, I turned over and raced across the room.

"You better pray they forget all about you, honey." He kept watch on me, "You're mine now and I won't stand for that." I crouched a little, retreating as far as the wall would let me. Tears streaking down both cheeks, I looked up at him.

I sobbed quietly, my hands pressed to the wall behind me. Almost willing it to disappear, and to let me out of this hell. I didn't know what else to do. I was pretty much cornered. The only way out was passed him.

This trip suddenly meant something different. Jack had been planning this from the start. Ensuring I was no longer his problem. Did he know what his dad was like? Did he know what leaving me here would be like for me?

"One more thing." He told me, bringing my focus back to him, "Don't run from me." I just sobbed. I would run. I'd run as fast as I could. I wasn't going to just stand there.

He took a step, and that's all it took. I ran.

I bolted, scrambling passed him. Just out of reach of him, so he couldn't grab me on my way by. I had to find some sort of safety. That's all I wanted. I even gave thought to trying to hide under the couch as I passed it, knowing full well I'd never fit.

That's when the chase started.

He gave a sighing groan of frustration as he rounded to follow me. In my panic, I fumbled up the stairs, stupidly by-passing the front door, which I hardly stopped to realize.

I made it to the hallway, but he was faster. He plucked me up like I weighed five pounds, spinning me around and lifting me under my arms. Off my feet, holding me up easily.

"What did I just say?" He shook me roughly, and though he was chuckling, he was mad. I knew that, "Don't you know how to listen, girl?" I whimpered as he shook me harder, until he dropped me. My legs tried to buckle, but he caught me again. Capturing my face once more. Kissing me for the second time. Harder this time. I screamed against his mouth, terror stealing my rational thought. Twisting and fighting again. Fighting this time did even less to free me than it had before. His grip on my head, partially down my neck was hurting me.

I didn't like this!

Something sort of snapped in my mind, and before I could even think twice, my teeth sank into his lip. I only had time to barely bite, before he was away from me. He pushed me back, and I landed against the wall with a light thud. I stood there for a second, petrified to the wall. Viciously trembling, quaking from head to toe. I was shocked my legs could hold me up with how badly I shook. I peered up at him, covering my mouth with my trembling hand.

He wasn't bleeding, but I knew if I had bitten him any harder, I would have drawn blood. It was obvious he was shocked, staring at me. Until his eyes narrowed.

"You little bitch." For a second I was stuck there, "You little bitch!" That got me running again. Shoving passed him and back down the stairs, listening to him slamming his hand against the wall as he rounded to follow me. Jack was more like him than I thought. I didn't stop to think about that, though.

"How I've missed this!" He laughed behind me, but even the laugh was intensely angry. I nearly fell down the stairs in my haste, not touching the step for longer than a second as I yanked myself down. Squeaking in fear, skidding down the carpeted steps. Rounding quickly at the bottom of the stairs, I tore back through the house. My heart in my throat, I ran as quickly as I could toward the back door.

Until my hair was grabbed, twisted violently and I was pulled to a very painful stop. Literally jerked off my feet, backwards and his other hand clasped around the back of my neck briefly.

I choked on my fearful cries now, half crawling and half being dragged behind him as he pulled me back toward the living room. The pain was intense. Tearing, pulling at my hair in his large hand.

"You kids think you're fast." He chuckled angrily, stopping by a closet in the hallway. Slamming the door open with my hair still in his fist. Reaching in, he grabbed something, slamming the door closed again after him.

Dragging me, whimpering and crying, into the living room before dropping me onto the carpet. I attempted to scramble up, crawling away, but he only had to take one step to catch up to me. He wasted no time.

I heard it whistle through the air, before it hit me. It wasn't a belt, but something much thinner. It was more pliable than any belt I'd ever felt, but the pain was deeper as it curled over me and I collapsed to the floor on my stomach.

It wasn't a belt, but a bunch of rope, coiled in his hand.

I only got six good whacks, curled in on myself until he was done. Trying to make myself smaller, trying to make it harder for him to hit me. I breathed heavily, my arms shielding my head as I cried into the carpet. He stood back, watching me as he tried to catch his own breath. The effort he put into hitting me, and the chase having stolen his breath.

"I didn't want to do that." He finally said, listening to my cries, "You left me no choice."

Kneeling beside me with quiet sigh, he took hold of my arm and flipped me roughly over onto my back. I gasped at the pain, and couldn't move right away.

I refused to look at him, so he reached down and gripped my face in one hand this time. Turning my head to look up at him.

I held my breath to stop my crying, whimpering at each breath out. At some point, while looking into his eyes, I suddenly thought of what I was doing before he came into the room. I thought about who I was about to call. I took another, deeper breath, holding it for a moment before my cries restarted.

"Have you had enough?" He asked, and that only reinforced my thoughts of Alice. The way he asked that was like a trigger, reminding me of the last words I'd had with Alice. He didn't even know it, but he'd just made up my mind for me.

The answer to that was clear. They could help me. If I could get away, they could help me. I wouldn't have to stay here, but I was scared.

"Have you?" He asked again, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. I whimpered, rolling back over and pushing myself up a little. Not sure what else there was to do.

I couldn't help it, though. I tried to hold it back, but I soon dissolved into harder, panting tears. I just cried, and he must have taken that as surrender. He sighed, setting the rope to the side and reached for me.

I cringed away, but he caught me easily. Standing up and lifting me with him. I couldn't struggle yet, still trying to catch my breath that pain had stolen, while crying at the same time.

"If you'd just followed the rules," He murmured, "I wouldn't have had to do that. You really left me no choice." He was being easy with me again. His tone quiet, almost caring.

Sitting on the couch, resting me across his lap, he sighed again. Deeper this time, as if content. He held me now the way Mike had the morning after we first got here. His arms tight around me, though, felt nothing like Mike's. I felt trapped again, and I realized I had every right to.

If I was going to do this, I needed to do it soon. Pain or not, I wouldn't get a chance later if Jack got home. I had to decide right now. It was either stay with Ken, or get away. Stay, or go?

That should have been something easy to decide, but fear was a huge factor in keeping me there. It always had been. It still was, but when that fear turned a little, becoming a fear of what I'd be going through that night, that was what I needed.

"Are you going to behave yourself?" He asked, and I looked up at him, "I don't want to have to do that again." His hand smoothed over my cheek, and I knew. It was now or never.

He pulled me closer, about to kiss me again, and that was it. Fuck no. There was no chance to consciously decide. I just did it.

Another snap in my mind answered for me, and without waiting, I turned my head, biting onto his wrist. Going with instinct. Fight or flight. The second the pressure of his arms released, I rolled away from him. Landing on my feet off his lap.

I flinched as he shouted in anger and probably pain, grabbing for the cell phone sitting on the coffee table in front of us before racing back toward the front door.

The door that opened just as I reached it.

I didn't stop in surprise. I wasn't about to stop. Shoving passed Heather, nearly tripping in my haste. She tried to catch me, to steady me, but I fought away and continued on.

I didn't stop to wonder why they were back so soon.

"Leandra." She called in surprise, watching after me. I raced out the door, jumping from the small porch, landing on the grass and continued on. Passed Jack, and passed Mike. Passed the boys. I didn't stop.

"Leandra." Josh called after me, "Wait up. Where are you going?" I didn't wait. I didn't stop running. I raced up the street into the early afternoon light.

"Leandra!" Ken called after me, and that only made me run faster. Thoughts of what would happen when he caught me only pushed me faster. That was something that had always happened with Jack, but he always caught me before I even had a hope of getting away. I wouldn't waste this opportunity.

"Leandra, stop!" Heather called again, and as much as I hated upsetting her, I continued.

"Leandra." Jack's voice actually did have me stumble to a stop, right there in the middle of the street, "Don't you take one more step." My panting panicked breathing shook, trembling along with the rest of me. Threatening more tears and throwing up in each breath.

I had a choice to make right then. I realized that I'd just been faced with a decision. A life altering one that would send me one way, or another, depending fully on what I chose to do in this moment.

Do one thing, get one result. Do another, get a completely different result. Exactly like that day, but far more intense. A decision I had to make right on the spot.

"Turn around." Jack barked, "And get your ass back here." I whimpered, standing stock still. Slowly, I turned. Looking back at them from where I stood up the street, "Come here." Everyone watched me now, and I felt the pressure. It really did feel like the whole world was watching me. Watching, waiting for what I'd do.

Stupidly, I sobbed, and I shook my head. For once, I was telling Jack no. I wouldn't. I couldn't let myself go to him.

"What did you do?" Heather suddenly demanded, her eyes on Ken standing on the porch. I wasn't paying attention to them right then, though. My eyes were on Jack's eyes on me.

"No." I spoke, and my voice shook just as much as my breathing did, "No!"

"Leandra!" Jack's command was heavier now, and I flinched. Squeezing my eyes shut, I realized. I'd had enough. This was what it felt like to find my limit. To finally have found out what it meant to have enough. This was what I needed to find to realize I needed Alice's help. I needed help.

I couldn't go back to Ken. Not with what waited for me. I shook my head, still refusing. Jack only managed to take two steps before I got moving.

This was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do, but instead of going back to Jack, I took first one step backwards, then another. Realizing that was harder than what came next, when I found I could move again. Even if I went to him now, I would still be in so much trouble. More trouble than I was tempted to go through right then.

I spun, and I started to run again. I heard him growl, and that was the last I heard. I stopped listening to what was going on back there. Glancing back, I saw he wasn't chasing me. He was running back inside.

I didn't look back again. I had to hurry. In my mind, I was thinking about how long it would take for Jack to get into his truck, and chase me down. He'd have to walk back inside, and find his keys. They'd taken Mike's SUV out that morning, for the extra room.

In case Mike decided to hunt me down as well, with a whimper, I ran faster. Rounding first one block, then another, I bought myself a few more minutes if I was lucky, but I was still headed the same direction. I had a head start, and I wasn't about to waste it.

I thought hard as I ran, my thoughts racing as fast as I was. The cell phone held tightly in my hand. This was it. I could never go back.

Jack didn't want me anymore, that was fine, but I wasn't going to stay with Ken. I knew, even then, that there was no way I could stay. This would have happened eventually, and I knew I'd learn to hate in that house. As okay as Heather seemed, I didn't want to become her. I had to get away now, before I learned to listen to Ken. That was nothing but a trap. Ensuring I'd always stay stuck there.

I wasn't going to be raised by Satan's father. I wasn't going to stick around, just to see what else Ken had planned for me. I could still feel his lips on mine, and his breath on my face. The memory of it made my stomach turn, and it was all I could do to keep running, and not have to stop to throw up.

I couldn't do that. I couldn't stand it. The fear of remembering what he did pushed me on. Passed the ache in my lungs, passed the pain of the pavement against my bare feet.

I choked on a sob as I ran. Tears painting my cheeks as I realized. I was not only running for my life, but from my life.

The decision I just made was the single step I had to make for myself. Without even really knowing it, I'd decided to turn my back on everything I knew before. And for what? Alice had told me to call when I'd had enough, and I was praying harder than I ever had before that she didn't go back on that now. This had to be the very definition of blind faith. I had to trust not only her, but her family as well. I had to trust them to come through without knowing if they really would. That was a very hard thing to do.

My life, right then, was hanging on whether or not they could do something to help me. As much as that thought scared me, I hesitantly hoped.

"Please." I sobbed to myself, my breathing racing harder than it had in awhile, "Don't turn me away."

I needed her. I needed them. I didn't know if they could really help me or not, but it was the best chance I had at getting away. My only chance. Without them, I'd have no choice but to go back, and hope at only a brief beating or worse. If Jack didn't kill me for what I just did.

I could never do this alone.

My bare feet slapped against the pavement with each running stride, and I didn't slow down. Even when I reached the main street several blocks away. I ran across the busy street, narrowly missing being hit by at least three cars.

Just run, I told myself. Run, and don't stop. Run. Don't look back. Keep running. Get away. Stay away. Don't stop running.

I didn't stop running. I had no idea where I was going, but I just ran until I found myself somewhere Ken would never look for me. Where his house was situated, wasn't far from the center of the city. It really didn't take me long to reach a very populated area. Which was just what I was looking for. I hoped that maybe he'd think I had kept running. Not stopping to look until he was much farther away than I was.

Nobody stopped me, thankfully. Nobody seemed to think a kid running down the street in her pajamas and bare feet was odd. I preferred it that way. Fuck them.

Most people in my situation would have kept running. They wouldn't have known to stop. The best thing someone could do in my situation, though, was finding the most coverage you could as fast as you could, and stick to it. Being out in the open, continuing to run was dangerous.

The first safe, covered place I found was a dark alleyway between two buildings on the corner. I didn't waste it. I crouched beside a dumpster about halfway down the alley. Closest to the brick wall, just struggling to breathe. It was shaded down this far, and I knew it'd be difficult to see me if he were to come looking. Which I had no doubts he would. The thing was, there were so many places I could be in just that area alone. They had an entire city to search.

Crouched there in my thin pajamas and bare feet, I had no other choice. I was out of options, and at my wits end. Scared, and now all alone, I had one option. The broken glass beside the dumpster stabbed into the bottoms of my feet painfully, until I laid a piece of cardboard box leaning against the wall down and perched on that.

I shakily pulled out the card scrunched into my pocket. Relieved somehow to find it there. Flattening it out over my knee, I dialed the number, already starting to cry again. My fingers shaking so hard, and my teary eyes making it difficult to see, I had to start over twice. I was trembling so roughly, my teeth chattered. I wasn't cold, though. Even if it was a little chilly here in the dark alleyway.

It was a very big relief to hear Carlisle's voice as he answered. I couldn't speak at first, too scared to make a sound. What if he'd already forgotten about me? What if to him, that offer had expired?

"Hello?" He had to ask again, as I hadn't spoken yet. That's about when my sobs started again. He seemed to recognize the tone of them, though. Speaking, "Leandra?"

"I've had enough." I sobbed to him, "I can't stay anymore. Please." I'd meant to ask for Alice, but I couldn't wait that long. I could barely hold onto the phone. How he responded now was what my life depended on. Every sobbing breath I took held onto his response.

"Leandra, calm down." Carlisle instructed me, the comfort in his tone more than I'd ever heard before. Recognizing it was instant, like he'd comforted me before. I almost couldn't breathe, conflicted. I wanted to listen to him, but I just couldn't.

"Just breathe." He told me, "Tell me where you are, and I'll be there." Was he telling me he was going to help me?

"You can't." My sobbing voice hardly made a sound, "I can't stay anymore. I need you to come get me but I don't know where I am." I wasn't thinking straight. I meant that I didn't know where I'd run to, but that was too much to explain right then. Tears flooded down my cheeks. In my heightened fear, I almost forgot how to speak, "You can't, but I need you to come get me. Please."

I had to be hard to understand, but I couldn't calm down. I coughed two more sobs, looking around. I was just steps away from openly bawling, and I knew I had to cool it. I had to be quiet, or I was going to blow it.

"I'll be there." He told me firmly, and I gasped for breath for a moment, "Tell me where you are. That's all I need to know." The familiarity of his voice took me off guard for a moment. Long enough to clear my thoughts enough. Just enough to realize he'd just told me exactly what I needed so badly to hear right then.

"California." I sobbed. I managed to sob out the name of the city, and begged him, "Don't let them find me, Carlisle. Please don't let them find me." He couldn't stop that from happening any more than I could, but I needed to tell him. To somehow let him know how afraid I was. I was terrified. So scared of everything.

"I'm on my way." He told me, the same firmness in his voice, "Stay put." I sobbed in relief now, but not enough to calm down. I couldn't relax until he was there. How long had it taken us to get there? He continued, "If you find a cop, go with them."

"No." I shook my head, "He knows them. He has to know them." I recalled his threat. Telling me that he could do whatever he wanted, and from that, I took that he meant he would never get into any trouble.

"Leandra, he won't-"

"You don't know him." I cried, "I don't trust them. I trust you." He was quiet now, and I wasn't sure if I'd pissed him off yet, "Carlisle?"

"I'm coming to you." He repeated, "Be careful, Leandra."

I sniffled hard, nodding, "Okay." I struggled so hard to get myself under control, "Okay. I-I'll just... I'll j-just stay right here. I won't move, okay?"

He kept me on the phone, and despite how I still looked around paranoid, I talked with him. I slowly calmed down enough to breathe, and uncurl slightly from my crouched ball. I quieted down, something I never thought I'd ever be able to do. I listened to him when he told me to just stay calm, and I never even realized just how tight I held onto each word he said.

"Should I move?" I whimpered at one point, "Find another spot?"

"No." He replied, "Stay where you are, okay?"

"Okay." I sniffled, "I'll stay."

"Are you outside?" He asked, and I nodded. Then realized he couldn't see me.

"Yeah." I answered, "I'm hiding between the two bars on one of the main streets." That didn't tell him much, but I'd give him more information when I was brave enough to look for it. For right then, I was still too scared to move.

"Actually." Carlisle spoke again, "Yes. Move. Find another spot, but be careful."

"Okay. I'll try." I mumbled, sniffling as I pulled myself to my feet. Trembling where I stood, looking back toward the street. I hated the idea of moving out into the open. Even for the tiniest amount of time it'd take to find a new hiding spot.

With the phone in hand, I managed to dart back across the street, making it to the tiny alley between the general store and a restaurant on the corner. It wasn't much better, but it was better than where I was.

"I'm cold." I mumbled without thinking. There wasn't much I could do to fix that, aside from finding a building I could hide out in and hope the people inside didn't call Jack. I didn't trust anyone but Carlisle and the rest of the family. Everyone else could go straight to hell.

The battery on the phone started to die around three that afternoon, roughly four hours after I first called him, so I had to hang up and save what was left of it. I used that time to snooze until I got a call at about seven-thirty that night. I waited to see what number it was before answering.

"Hello?" I asked, the first ring not even through yet.

"Where are you?" Carlisle asked, "I need to know where you're hiding." I gave him the name of the street, and the store I was beside. I hoped that was enough, "Give me three minutes." And apparently it was enough. He hung up again. I followed suit, now peeking around the dumpster, toward the street. I waited, my breath coming in trembling gasps. Each car that drove by I looked for some hint that it was him. Or Jack. I was so afraid that Jack was going to find me before Carlisle could.

It didn't even register to me how Carlisle had made about a sixteen hour trip in about eight. I didn't care. All that mattered to me was the fact that he was there. He came, just like he said he would.

Cold from hiding in the shade for so long, and shivering from the fear I still felt, I didn't know what to think when I saw his car pull up. I couldn't think anymore. It pulled up outside the alley beside the curb, and I stood up from my place beside the dumpster. I had to make sure, though, so I waited. I recognized the shiny black paint, the pitch dark tint on the windows. I cried, suddenly trembling triple fold as I saw him stand from the car.

It was Carlisle, no doubt about it. The same one I was so scared of just a few days before. All I could think about was that he was there. He climbed out, rounding the front of the car in a hurry. I didn't hesitate now.

I ran forward the moment he took one step into the alley, and I hugged him. So relieved to see him. I just needed him to know. I wasn't trying to bother him, but this was just too much for me. I was alone, and I was tired. More scared than I'd ever been before. I needed him to know how much this meant to me. That someone who had no idea who I was would come through when I desperately needed him to.

Sobbing silently into his side, taking deep breaths before sobbing them out. Tears flooding down my cheeks, falling from my chin nearly constantly. I couldn't stop them any more than I could stop being so scared.

"I tried." I cried, "I tried to be brave, but I can't."

"Leandra." He sighed, "You are brave."

"No I'm not."

"I understand how much courage this has to take." He replied and I was quiet now. He let me cry for only a little while before he spoke again, "Alright. Come with me. I'll get you something to eat, and we'll discuss what comes next, okay?"

Sniffling, I nodded, reluctantly pulling back. He took my hand, and I paused, looking up at him. It didn't bother me for him to take my hand. Instead of leaving my hand limp for fear of him thinking I was resisting, I held his hand in return. I trusted him.

Despite how cold my hand was, his was even colder. That was significant enough to me that I paid attention to it. Even through the mind-numbing fear. Looking up at him, I was both desperately grateful, and intensely cautious.

He came through. That was all that mattered to me right then.

**A/N: Finally lol  
>Why was that chapter more intense than the one I edited it from? To me, it felt that way. Whoo.<strong>  
><strong>THANK YOU to those that left their thoughts on previous chapter! :D THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THAN- You get it. ;)<strong>  
><strong>I know I'm coming out with these pretty fast, but I can't help it. :) I've had them partially edited for awhile, especially the ones like this one that needed it. Badly. <strong>  
><strong>Anyhoo. Ten shouldn't take long.<strong>  
><strong>Early Merry ChristmasHappy Holidays to all. I hope you enjoy yourselves, and stay safe. :)**  
><strong>Until Ten, my friends! :D<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Carlisle led me to the car, opening the back passenger door for me.

Inside the car was warm, and I wasted no time in climbing in. Eagerly crawling, scrambling across the seat until I got to the middle. I didn't want to be out in the open for longer than I had to be. Just the sound of the door closing gently behind me making me jump.

"Oh, honey." Esme's sad tone greeted me as she turned to look at me. I hadn't expected her to have come along as well, but I didn't mind. I liked the thought that she would want to come with him to get me. Not that I could focus on that too much, though.

My wide eyed, tired expression had to bother her, but I couldn't help it. I trembled roughly, both scared and cold. Drawing my legs up on the seat, I lowered my head. Resting my forehead on my knees. A muted, muffled sob was all I was capable of.

"I want to know." Carlisle said as he climbed into his seat, "I want to know what I'm taking you from."

"Y-You mean, like.. W-What he does? What they do?"

"Yes." He answered, "I want you to be honest with me, Leandra." He paused, "No, I need you to be honest with me. No lies, no avoiding the answer." He knew me too well.

"I can't anymore." I mumbled, shaking my head and ignoring the two tears that scattered down my cheeks, "I don't want to lie anymore."

"I'm glad to hear that." Carlisle sighed, "But first, we'll get a hotel room. You need a chance to calm down before anything else. We'll stay the night there, and depending on how you're feeling, start home in the morning."

I nodded, sniffling. As long as he didn't make me go back to Jack right away, I didn't care what we did. Forcing myself to breathe, whimpering at each strong tremble.

I waited in the car with Esme as Carlisle went in and paid for the room at a hotel just up the street. I was silent. More nervous than I'd been in a long time. Curled into a tight ball, biting my lip. Esme watched me, a pained expression in her eyes.

By that time, I'd just started to realize what I'd done. I knew it before, but it started to really dawn on me. It was huge. Almost too huge for me to wrap my mind around. I'd turned my back, just ran away from everything. In taking one step, I'd essentially just jumped right off the cliff into something I had no idea about.

I didn't know the next move, or the move after that. I didn't know what was going to happen to me, but I did know one thing for sure. Jack was probably more pissed than he'd ever been. I couldn't lie my way out of this one, as it was both him and Ken that I'd literally run from just hours ago.

Carlisle came back out, effectively reminding me that I wasn't done yet, and opened Esme's door for her. I wasn't particularly eager to move immediately, so I hesitated as Carlisle opened my door for me as well.

"It's alright, honey." Esme was the one to try to get me to come out. Holding her hand out for me.

"They're going to find me if I come out." I whimpered, and her eyes softened.

"No they won't." She assured me, "And even if they do, we'd never let anything happen to you."

I had no choice but to believe her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't spend all night out in the car. So I scooted closer to the door, and let her take my hand. Standing shakily, I instantly hugged onto her side. Squeezing my eyes shut, so I wouldn't have to see them when they did find me.

I sincerely hoped this was acceptable. Wherever she went, I'd go too. I wasn't letting go until I was sure I was safe.

"Go ahead inside." Carlisle told her, "I'll be right behind you."

I held tight to Esme, both arms around her waist as we headed for the door. Shivering all over again. I couldn't calm down. There was just so much I had to be worried about. Even more if Mike had decided to search too.

"He's gonna see me." I whimpered, "I just know it." She held me closer to her side, almost as if she were shielding me as she glanced around. Even walking the few short steps to the hotel was nearly too much on my already rattled nerves. The trip through the lobby was a quick one, thankfully.

I was only paranoid, however, and we made it up to the room without a problem.

True to his word, Carlisle had followed us. Carrying a single black bag. Probably with their clothes in it. As curious as I was, I couldn't focus on that.

"I'll be downstairs." Esme offered once I was inside the room, "I'll get you something to eat, sweetheart."

I looked up at her gratefully, letting her step away, before looking around the room. Two queen sized beds took up most of the space, and the one closest to me was calling my name. I didn't protest as Esme left, closing the door quietly behind her.

I was beginning to feel safer. Just being inside somewhere, without anyone and their dog being able to see me, made me feel better. The light on in the corner made the room feel warmer. It wasn't too bright, but just enough to give me slight comfort. Quiet, calm. Much different than the way I'd spent the entire day.

I really didn't know what to do, though. Standing there with Carlisle, I continued to tremble. I knew he was watching me, but I didn't look up at him. Trying to calm down.

I tried not to imagine how pathetic I had to look to him. Trembling, probably filthy. Having to call for help from someone two states away. Someone I didn't even really know. Someone I'd just flat out lied to just a few days before about this same exact thing.

Things had just gone so wrong so quickly, I almost couldn't believe it. It was like the ground wasn't solid under me anymore. Like everything was different now, and I knew that it was, but how much different would things be?

The heat chose that time to turn on, and the sound of it clicking on was just enough to startle me. Jumping, yelping quietly. Stupidly, I started to cry again.

Hating how sensitive I was, how silly it was to cry over the heater turning on. After the day I'd had, however, it was all I could do. The slightest things would instantly raise my stress level to maximum height, until I'd tell myself I was okay.

After spending the entire afternoon like that, it was hard to break myself out of that.

"I know." Carlisle's tone was quiet. Not at all annoyed, or irritated. He placed the receipt papers on the table, and reached for me. I let him take my wrist, much gentler than anyone had all week, pulling me to him. Since I was too scared to move, he had to move me. He hugged me into his side, which I allowed and returned.

I just stood there, hugging him as tight as I could. I was both confused and torn, breathing through uncontrollable sobs.

I wasn't used to this. I wasn't used to relying on someone else, and them actually coming through like this. I squeezed the tears from my tired eyes, sighing a yawning sob.

I just wanted things to be okay. I wasn't asking for much. I didn't want everything in the world. I only wanted okay.

"Do you want to sit down?" Carlisle asked, and I instantly looked up at him and shook my head. Declining as I forced myself to step back, away from him. I was just fine with standing. At least until I asked what I needed to ask. He seemed to find that reaction concerning.

"It's okay." He assured me, and again, I shook my head.

Taking a breath, I decided to just go for it. A tense few seconds of silence passed, until I spoke.

"Are you gonna make me sit on your lap, too?" I asked, looking up at him. I waited for his answer. My fearful eyes met his deeply concerned ones, and I already knew his answer, but I had to hear it first.

"Of course not." He answered quietly after a moment of obvious surprise, "Leandra, none of us would ever make you do anything like that." Hearing him promise like that, using those words, I accepted it.

"I know it's stupid to ask that." I sniffled, looking down again, "B-But I had to be sure. I'm so confused." He didn't reply to that. Only watching me as I studied my hands.

"Leandra, is that what he did?" He asked after a moment longer of silence.

"I thought Alice could see?" I looked up again.

"She refused to tell me." He replied, shaking his head. That surprised me. Even after everything, she still kept it to herself? "All I know, is that it's bad." I looked back down at that word.

"It's worse than that." I corrected quietly, "It's worse than bad, I think."

"Leandra, please be honest with me." He requested, "Either way, you're not going back."

I sighed, turning away. I sniffled a little as my hand found the edge of the bed.

"You can't let them find me, Carlisle." I whimpered, "And if I tell you, you can't tell them I told you."

"You'll be fine." He assured me, watching me as I sat on the side of the bed slowly. Wincing a little as I did so. Warming up, I definitely felt the effort I had to put forth just that morning. My bruises hated me, and that was enough to make me hate breathing.

"You have to promise." I corrected, shaking my head a little, "He can't find out I said anything. It's bad enough I ran away. He's going to be so mad.." My whimpered voice trailed off, and I looked down. Squeezing my eyes shut. Carlisle had heard that before, though.

"Leandra, he's going to know when they arrest him." He explained, sitting down in one of the chairs at the small table. Keeping his distance, no doubt trying to keep from scaring me. I did appreciate that, but his words had taken most of my focus. I looked to him, instantly trembling again.

"Arrest him?" I asked, "Like.. Send him to jail?"

"If the abuse is bad enough, yes." Carlisle nodded.

"No." I shook my head, "That can't happen."

"What were you expecting to happen?" He asked quietly.

"I-I don't know." I mumbled, "Isn't there a way you can help me without him finding out?"

He was quiet for a moment, probably thinking.

"Leandra, why are you afraid of him finding out?" He finally asked, and I glanced over as Esme returned, closing the door behind herself.

"Because I don't.. I-I don't want to die."

That was the first straight answer he'd ever gotten from me about the whole situation, and it was clear after admitting that, that they had underestimated Jack before. Esme paused setting the white plastic bag she held on the table, looking to Carlisle. Neither of them said anything for a moment.

"Where did you get an idea like that, honey?" Esme asked, concerned.

"He told me." I answered, "He told me that if I ever told anyone about what he did to me, and if he ever found out, he'd kill me." She stayed quiet, so I had to keep going, "I'm sorry I lied before. I'm sorry I never said anything, but.. I didn't want him to find out about me telling. I couldn't."

Esme's frown stayed, "Are you sure-"

"I know what it means." I murmured, "Jack showed me when I was little." I looked down in their surprised silence, "And now, there's Ken. He's just as bad. Maybe worse." I hesitated, "He told me that if Jack ever went to jail, I'd be the one he'd come after. I don't want to die, but if either of them ever find out I told, they'll kill me. That's why they can't know. That's why I couldn't tell you before."

I could tell by looking up that I had even more of their attention. To them, this just got a whole lot more serious. To me, it always had been, but they didn't understand before. Now they were starting to.

I looked down, sighing.

"I never should have run." I mumbled, "I'm going to be in so much trouble. I-I don't even know why I did. I was just.. So afraid."

"Can you tell us about it?" Esme asked quietly, sitting beside me. I looked to her, sighing again as I leaned forward. Drawing my knees up and wrapping my arms around them. There wasn't much choice. It was either tell them everything now, or go back. I wasn't going back.

"There's so much to tell." I murmured after a moment, "But you can't tell him you heard it from me. Even if he's in jail, he won't stay there. If he even goes at all. He can't know I said anything."

"Start with today." She suggested, "What made you finally decide to call us, sweetheart?" That seemed pretty easy to answer.

"I don't want to live in California." I admitted, looking to her.

"You don't have to." She assured me, shaking her head a little, "Was Jack going to move here with you?"

"No." I answered, "He was going to make me live here with Ken."

"Who is Ken?" She asked, something she hadn't asked before, and I bit my lip. Just the thought of him made my heart drop uncomfortably.

"Jack's dad." I mumbled, swallowing nervously, "I don't like him. That's why Jack brought me here. He was going to go back home, but I would have to stay here with Ken."

"Why?"

"Because I'm too much trouble." I whimpered, resting my chin on my knees, "Ken said it was because I was noticed." I paused to gather my thoughts, before I continued, "I couldn't stay there with him, though. I thought if I tried, I might like him at least a little more than Jack, but I just couldn't." I hardly noticed the tear that scattered down my cheek, "I couldn't. I got scared, a-and I ran, and if Jack ever finds me again, I'm done for."

I was getting upset again. Words coming out in a rush, but it told them I was willing to talk now. A lot different than before.

"Okay." Carlisle sighed, "Leandra, I want as honest of an answer as you can give me." I looked his direction now, remaining in my insecure little ball, "We're just going to focus on one thing at a time, okay?" I nodded a little, taking a deep breath, "What does Jack do to you?" I looked down. Silent now. How was I supposed to tell him that when he knew what it would mean?

"I don't know how to say it." I mumbled after a moment, my voice hardly making a sound.

"Straight-forward." He replied, "Just tell me."

"I-I.." I stopped myself. I'd been telling them 'I can't' since I'd known them. There was no time for that anymore. I had to give him something if he was going to help me, but it was _so_ hard to. Even knowing the alternative.

"He hits me." I found myself blurting, "All the time." Briefly, my fear tried to shut me up, but somehow, I pushed through it. Carlisle needed to know, so I forced myself to talk, "He hits me. Beats on me."

He waited, concern entering his eyes.

"S-Sometimes, it's not so bad." I continued, squeezing my eyes shut so I didn't have to look at him, "Just.. A slap here or there, but other times, it's.. It's hard. He loves to use his belt." I glanced over at Esme, and I bit my lip, "I still have bruises from the last bad beating, if you have to see them. I-I have proof."

"Eventually," Carlisle allowed, "I may want to look at them if it's alright. Just to ensure you're okay." I nodded a little, and went on.

"We fight." I mumbled, "W-Well, I mean.. It's not really fighting. Not really. He yells, and I run. He hates it when I run, but I can't help it. I get so scared, but it just makes it worse for me when he catches me." I paused for a breath, "That's why Alice said what she said that day. I couldn't show her clean skin like she wanted me to." Carlisle nodded a little.

"What else, Leandra?" He asked gently after a few moments of silence, "What else does he do? Why did you ask me that? Before?"

I had to take a minute. I was thinking, trying hard to come up with some way to get him to forget about that. Falling quiet, knowing full well what he meant.

He had to try again, "Leandra, he did more to you than hit you, didn't he?"

Just by hearing him ask, my nervousness exploded. Increased triple fold, and because of that, it was much harder to keep from crying yet again. I was a wreck. I didn't know how to say it, so I stayed quiet. He'd found a subject I wasn't willing to budge on.

"Leandra?" He prompted. Receiving nothing but silence.

If he ever needed me to be quiet for any length of time, it was easily achieved by asking me about this. Nothing but silence remained now, and I couldn't change that. I focused on the comforter I sat on, nervously tugging on a loose thread. Focusing on that, instead of the question I knew they needed me to answer.

I didn't know what it was. I knew it was rude to act this way, but it was the only way I knew of not to have to answer. I wasn't exactly pretending like I didn't hear him, because I did hear him, and I knew he knew I heard him.

"Leandra, honey. It's okay." Esme tried now, and I glanced to her before looking back down. I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. My voice just wouldn't work. I was tired, and I was scared. Though I knew they weren't impatient in the slightest, I knew they were waiting.

I was positive it would take all of their patience to get this answer from me.

After several intense minutes of silence, he sighed.

"Why did you ask me that, Leandra?" Carlisle asked again, and though that was the same question he asked before, it was worded differently. That helped.

"I had to make sure." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"Why?" He asked, and I hesitated, "Do I give you that impression?"

"No." I answered immediately, "No. You don't."

"Has someone done that to you before?"

"Yes." He already knew that, though. He needed more. I sighed, "Ken. He liked when I sat on his lap. I didn't, but I didn't have a choice, because Jack told me I had to do whatever he wanted, a-and I thought if all I had to do was sit there.." I trailed off, looking down. I stopped myself again before a real explanation could get going, "T-Then it wouldn't.. Be so bad.."

I felt sick. Nauseous. Already, without even saying anything. It was quiet for another few minutes. He was obviously waiting for me to make the effort, but I was so afraid.

"I need you to be honest with me." He finally spoke again. Still gently, but I looked up.

"I haven't lied." I told him.

"No, but you're avoiding the answer." He pointed out, "Why?"

"I'm scared." I replied honestly.

"I know you are." He allowed, "Is that the only reason?"

"Mostly." I mumbled, and he nodded.

"But you don't have to be afraid anymore." He told me, "Part of you knows that. You know you're okay now. Don't you?" I nodded a little. I did know that, but that didn't make it any easier. His tone softened, "Then answer me. Please."

I was trying to, but it was harder than I thought it would be. He was giving me all the patience in the world, yet here I was. Stalling like I expected him to beat me.

"Leandra." Carlisle took my attention again, "Please." I was quiet, hesitantly meeting his gaze. I didn't see anger there. He wasn't mad at me, only deeply concerned. He was worried about me, "Can you tell me? I promise. No matter what you say, you'll be alright."

The pressure I was putting on myself made it really hard to breathe, my heart reacting. Pounding roughly, too fast. I was nervous, fearful.

"I'll try." I murmured after a minute more of silence, "But can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything." He replied.

"Don't hate me?" That request shook from me, my trembles making the words quiet. Barely audible.

"Why would I hate you?" He asked in return, and I looked down again.

"Because I hate me." I mumbled, "And if I hate myself, then it shouldn't be that hard for you to hate me too."

"Why do you hate yourself?" Carlisle asked, and I glanced over as Esme sat closer beside me.

"Because of what he does." I was fully aware of how stupid that sounded, "He always told me that if anyone ever found out, they'd hate me for it. I never used to care. Not really. People usually hate me anyway, but I care if you hate me. That matters to me."

"Honey, that isn't possible." Esme assured me, and I looked to her, "No one would ever hate you. I promise." I took a deep breath. Her quiet tone did wonders for my nervousness, "Would it be easier to tell me?" I thought about it.

"Not really." I admitted, "It's not easy at all."

"We understand that, sweetie." Before she even finished saying that, I started to cry again. This was definitely harder than I ever imagined before.

"I think we should take a break." Carlisle murmured, standing.

Before I could think too much about it, I forced myself to answer him. I _had_ to get through this. The sooner I got through this, the sooner he'd stop asking about it, and maybe understand a little better about why I had to call him. Before I could stop myself, I spoke.

"I asked you what I asked you," I mumbled through my tears, and I knew by the way he looked to me that he was listening, "Because Ken liked it when I sat on his lap." I hesitated, "I-I know why he liked it so much. I know why he'd hold me there. I know what I sat on. Jack taught me what it.. What it's for. Jack taught me."

I had yet to look at him, my cheeks warm with embarrassment. Esme wasted no time in reaching over, hugging me into her side. Just that action was enough to comfort me enough to keep talking.

I continued quietly, "I didn't want to. What Jack does, I didn't want to do. Not _once_. Not one time." He was quiet, slowly sitting back down, "He comes into my room at night, and I know that what he does, he shouldn't do. I know it shouldn't be that way, but it is that way. I know it's wrong, what he does. I know it, and if I knew it, then he had to know it, but that never mattered to him."

That should be enough. That was the only way to say it without saying it. I fell quiet again. I couldn't even look up. I couldn't look at him. I was too afraid of what I'd see.

"Alright, Leandra." Carlisle murmured, and I kept my eyes down. He didn't _sound_ disgusted with me, "I understand."

"It's alright, honey." Esme offered gently, which really helped more than she knew, I was sure.

"There are two questions I have to ask." Carlisle sighed, "First, I need to know." He was careful now, his voice reflecting that, "What exactly would Jack do to you? I have an idea, but I need more of an answer if you can provide one."

"I can't say it." I whimpered, biting my lip.

"Okay." He replied quietly, "Okay, Leandra. The details can wait." That eased me. He wasn't going to push me on this, which I appreciated. Without the pressure there, it was easier for me to consider how to answer without actually saying it.

"It wasn't just hands." I admitted after a few moments of silence, clearly feeling and hearing how my emotion quieted my voice as I shook my head, "It wasn't just.. T-Touching.." That word made me want to puke, "I wish it was just that, but it wasn't."

That answer bothered him. Given the way he stood up slowly. Esme hugged me tighter, so I knew she at least wasn't upset with me. They didn't say anything, which both worried me, and eased me. It was strange.

"I didn't want to." I had to make sure they understood that part. As a response, Esme smoothed her hand over my back. I was still having trouble breathing. Even more so as I waited.

"Can you tell me the last time that happened?" Carlisle asked, and I sighed. That was much easier to answer.

"The last time was.." I trailed off, thinking, "A few days ago. The night before I went to your house. Not anything since then."

"Alright." He sighed after a moment, "Thank you for telling me, Leandra. I appreciate it." I sniffled, and nodded. He didn't think any less of me. He wasn't disgusted by me, or ashamed of me.

"Not since then." I murmured, shaking my head, "I think it's because he was going to give me to his dad. I think that made me off limits." That actually made a lot of sense to me, considering the things Jack told me over the last day or so.

"That's the worst of it." I murmured, finally looking up shamefully. He might not have been ashamed of me, but I was ashamed of myself. I didn't even know why, but there was no denying that emotion was there, "There's a lot more to it, but that's the worst of it."

"Honey, are you sure he was actually meaning to give you away?" Esme asked, and I finally looked to her. I nodded a little.

"Ken told me." I answered, "Jack told me, and Jack gave him my papers. My birth certificate and everything. Ken said I'd stay there for a year, and if Jack wanted me back by then, then he might get me back."

She and I both looked to Carlisle at his sigh.

"I'll be needing to know the basics and smaller details later on, but for right now, there's just one thing I want you to do." He told me quietly, and I waited, "Just rest now. Relax and calm down."

"I don't know how."

I watched as he moved to the bag sitting on the floor, and opened it. Lifting out a warm set of pajamas.

These pajamas were a really pretty blue color, and looked a little too big for me. They weren't very heavy looking, but not as thin as the set of pajamas I was wearing currently. He set them on the table, noticing me watching him.

"These are for you." He explained gently, "Go ahead and get clean, and I'll be right back in a moment, okay?" I pursed my lips, sighing, but I nodded anyway.

I hesitantly stood, finally moving away from Esme.

"Esme, a word?" Carlisle wanted to talk to her alone. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I was still shaking, still feeling the ache of nauseating nervousness in my stomach. I was sure that's why he wanted me to calm down. I was too worked up, but a shower wasn't going to help that.

By the time they came back in, I had already taken my cold shower, and was too close to falling asleep to move. Much too tired. I shivered under the blanket, colder than I had been before, but my mind needed sleep too much to let that keep it awake.

"Honey." Esme was concerned at how tight of a ball I was curled up into.

"The water is colder here, I think." I mumbled, leaving my eyes closed. I felt the bed dip, looking up at Carlisle beside me. He gently placed the back of his fingers against my cheek, and I kept my eyes on him. Tensing. He frowned, sighing.

"What do you mean by that, sweetheart?" Esme asked, sitting by my feet.

"The water." I mumbled, finally looking to her, "From the shower."

"Did the warm water not work?" She asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I don't know. I'm not allowed to try it." I answered, and her confusion melted away, replaced by an upset sort of concern as she turned her horrified gaze to Carlisle.

Trembling like this hurt. I was tense. More tense than I had been before. I closed my eyes again, curling tighter into my ball. I always hated the warming up after a shower. It hurt so much.

"Come here, honey." Esme stood up, gesturing I do so as well. I hesitated, watching her, "It's okay." Slowly, I uncurled, whimpering as I kicked the blanket off of me, and my shivers restarted full force.

She led me into the bathroom, and I stood there, watching her restart the water. This time, instead of a shower, it was a bath she started.

"I don't like baths." I admitted quietly, and for a moment, grew nervous at giving my opinion.

"I think I can imagine why." She sighed gently, "It's alright, sweetheart."

Biting my lip, I watched as she fixed the temperature of the water with the hot water. I hadn't had a bath in so long, as I switched from baths as soon as I could. A cold shower was more tolerable than sitting submerged in cold water.

After a moment, she looked to me, "There you go. That should be a little better." I waited, unsure. She gestured me forward, "Come on, honey. It's alright."

"I've never been allowed." I replied quietly, standing there shivering and hiding my hands behind my back, "Are you sure I won't get into trouble for it?"

"Why would you get into trouble for using hot water?" She asked, concerned.

"Jack." I mumbled, "He always told me that I never earned it, so it's always been cold showers for me."

"Well," She said, "I think you've earned it long ago. Give it a try, honey." I hesitated, until I curiously stepped forward.

"Am I allowed?" I had to make sure, looking up at her as she stood up.

"Of course you are." She told me, and I nodded, stepping closer to the tub. Slowly, I reached my hand out, and touched the water. Jerking back at first when the temperature wasn't at all how I expected it to be. The warmth that surrounded my hand made me shiver, and I smiled a little as I replaced my hand.

She gently smoothed my hair, turning to leave. I turned, following her a little.

"C-Can you stay?" I asked quietly, and she paused, "I'm a little nervous."

"Of course." She gave me a comforting smile, and I nodded.

I hesitated for just a few seconds. Realizing that I was about to show someone else what Jack did for the first time. I waited, steeling myself. I'd already dug my own grave by telling them, why not show them too?

I turned my back to her, and carefully lifted my shirt over my head. I paused at her quiet gasp. Glancing back at her, noticing her deeply saddened gaze. I felt bad.

"Sorry." I mumbled, pulling the shirt all the way off. Freeing my arms, "It's like that all over."

"Oh, honey." She murmured sadly.

"It's bad." I nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. I should have warned you."

"No, honey." She replied, "No. It's not your fault." I watched as she turned, opening the door just a bit. Probably calling Carlisle in. I sighed, standing there and waiting. As much as that unsettled me, I wasn't going to say anything. I was far too tired to put up much of a fight anymore anyway, even if I wanted to.

To be honest, I sort of expected this reaction. For the first time, I was actually showing proof of Jack's actions. That bothered me, it really did, but I trusted them. I had no choice but to trust them.

Sure enough, he took one look at me, and came in.

"They were worse before." I mumbled as he kneeled behind me, already pressing along the outside of the bruises gently, "They've healed a lot." There wasn't a lot of room for him to press without having to press on another bruise. I hardly had any clear skin anywhere. He put hardly any pressure, so it didn't hurt. Not really.

"I can see that." Carlisle murmured, concerned.

"They don't hurt as much anymore." I continued, keeping my eyes on the wall, "Only now and then. When I move or breathe wrong." I suppressed the urge to cringe away, biting my lip. He never pressed too hard, though. Hardly adding any pressure, and after only a few minutes, he stood and stepped back.

"Jack did that to you?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded, turning to face him.

"It depends, though." I said, "The older ones are from awhile ago. Couple days. The skinnier ones are from today." I turned a little, trying to see my own back in the mirror. That was difficult to do without stretching the bruises, so I gave up with a sigh, "Ken did those ones today. They're not so bad."

"There's nothing I can do about the bruises." He murmured, "But I can give you something for the pain-"

"No thanks." I mumbled, tensing and shaking my head, "I don't need it."

"Are you sure?" He asked, and I nodded.

"I don't like taking stuff that makes me sleep." I replied, "Last time I did that, I woke up hurting more than before I went to sleep." His eyes closed briefly, and he hung his head for a second. As if having a hard time with that. I pursed my lips, looking away.

"If you change your mind," He finally told me, "Please don't hesitate to ask." I nodded a little. I probably wouldn't, but I wouldn't say that.

I waited until he left before removing the last piece of clothing on me. Esme stayed with me, thankfully, keeping me company.

The warm water certainly took some getting used to, but it was a very, very welcome and pleasant change from the cold. I settled into the warm water, surprised at how much this didn't hurt. How sitting in water actually felt good.

I finally figured out what it meant to be completely clean, instead of 'good enough' clean. Taking my time washing my hair along with the rest of me without having to rush through it.

After my bath, I sat cuddled with a pillow on the bed. My tired eyes on the floor as Esme gently brushed out my clean hair. For as long as I could remember, I'd never had anyone do this for me. For once, I wasn't just someone's beer bringer, or someone's problem.

Just like the warm water, this would take some getting used to.

Now that I was calm, I could think. I felt better now that they knew, as weird as it sounded. I felt better, relieved that I didn't have to hide anymore. Not with them. I didn't have to pretend that I was okay. I was cautiously learning that it was okay to not be okay.

"Leandra." Esme murmured, "You never said exactly what made you run away today."

"Ken." I answered quietly, my voice partially hidden by the pillow, "He made me run."

"What happened?" She asked, "What did he do?"

I was quiet for a minute, knowing it was pointless to try to stall anymore. The sooner I answered her, the sooner I could go to sleep.

"I found out last night," I explained, "That Jack was going to leave me here. Because he found the card Alice gave me. With your number." I looked to Carlisle, "I kept it hidden for as long as I could, but he found it, and he was mad." I trailed off, getting my thoughts straight.

"Jack took the others out, so Ken could talk to me alone." I continued, "He told me.. That I had all these new rules to follow, and I didn't think the rules were so bad. It wasn't that that made me run." I paused again, hesitating.

"What was it?" Esme prompted, and I realized why it was so hard not to answer her. The tone she used was quiet, caring. Like she honestly wanted to know, so she could comfort me. It was strange to me, but I remembered it from that day. The day I first met her.

I kept my tired eyes down, my heart skipping a beat as I clearly remembered how scared I had been just a few hours ago. I was so worn out, I couldn't stall much longer. I just wanted it over with, and I hoped that once I told them, I wouldn't be asked about it again.

"He kissed me." I mumbled, those three words threatening to make tears spring to my eyes. Before they did, though, I yawned instead.

"Pardon?" Carlisle asked, and I glanced to him nervously.

"He said.." I mumbled, "That because he was willing to take me in, there was something he wanted from me in return." I avoided their gazes now, "And he kissed me. It scared me, because that's something that Jack's never done before. So, well.. I ran. I couldn't get away right away, but I tried." I paused, "I bit him."

They were quiet now, so I continued.

"I don't think I've ever run so fast."

"You're okay now, sweetheart." Esme finally said, "No one's ever going to hurt you again." I didn't miss the way she looked to Carlisle, or the subtle hint of danger in her gentle tone. It was faint, very faint, but I knew Carlisle had heard it too. Given the way he returned her gaze.

I knew I had a long road ahead of me, but for right then, I was even too tired to be hungry anymore. Esme understood, letting me know that what she'd gotten me to eat would be there when I woke up.

It was as if the warm water had stolen every bit of energy I had. Crawling back under the blankets, my eyes already closing. Barely opening enough to look to Esme as she brought the blanket further over me. Sitting beside me on the side of the bed.

"Get some sleep, honey." She murmured, and I yawned, "We'll be here when you wake up." I nodded, letting my eyes close. I felt safe right where I was. Something about having the blanket so snug around me, and having Esme sitting so close made that possible. I'd have someone sitting up. Watching me to make sure nobody could get to me. I'd been fighting on my own for so long, it was impossible not to instantly appreciate that.

I was almost immediately out cold. There was no pausing to think before falling asleep. There were no nervous fidgets, or trying to get comfortable. My eyes closed, and that was it. My overwhelming day only ensuring I didn't waste any time falling asleep.

I must have rolled over in my sleep, because when I opened my eyes, it was dark in the room, and I was facing the opposite way, on my other side. When I'd fallen asleep, the room had still had a light on, so this change was disorienting.

I still hated the dark. I doubted that would ever change. It felt too suffocating, and there was always some sense of paralyzing anticipation there. Like at any second, something would grab me. I struggled to see in the dark, my panicked breathing quiet, but painful as it was choked off.

I sat up, a strong tremble chilling me as my heart skipped a beat. I absolutely hated the dark. Especially the pitch dark. It reminded me too much of home, and that just wouldn't do. I was afraid, but too afraid to move.

Only one almost silent sob had a chance to leave me.

"Leandra?" Esme's voice was quiet, coming from the bed beside mine. It was quiet, but it startled a quiet yelp from me. For just a second, I wondered how she knew I was awake, as I sat there silently, hardly even rustling the blanket.

That no longer mattered seconds later, and just like before, being startled made me cry. Large tears started from my eyes, followed by many others. Sobs squeezing from me before I could stop them.

I heard her climb out of bed, and take the two steps it took to get to my bed, sitting on the side of the bed again. Hugging me to her side, I felt so stupid for crying, but I couldn't stop it. My cries only picked up, so when she pulled me onto her lap, I didn't mind it too much. I knew it was Esme, and I knew she just wanted to calm me down.

This way, she was able to literally hold me. Unlike before, she'd only hugged me. This time, I was seated sideways across her lap, her arms around my shoulders as my head rested on her shoulder. Holding me securely, but not tightly. A little like Mike had done before, but this was different. If I thought his embrace was comforting, this was a thousand times more so.

As comforting as her embrace was, that did almost nothing to ease the fear. I trembled roughly in her arms. Reduced to a tiny trembling ball of tears, just because the light was gone. I felt so stupid, but I couldn't stop it.

"I'm sorry." I cried quietly, and I felt her shake her head.

"No. It's alright, honey." She assured me, "You're okay."

I kept my cries as quiet as I could, struggling to keep from choking on them too loudly. As stupid as it was, I had expected Esme and Carlisle to be awake when I woke up. Even despite the late hour. Esme didn't sound tired, though, which comforted me.

Eventually, with her arms around me, I calmed. Nobody had ever done this for me before. Just held me. Letting me lean against her, she kept telling me that I was fine, and I knew I was. To believe someone like that was enough to comfort me. Not to mention how calming her voice was.

It was still dark in the room, and I quickly began to realize how tired I still was. I barely noticed when I started to tremble again, but not from fear. I was a little cold.

I focused my eyes on the small dim light from the smoke detector on the wall. Blinking tiredly, unable to keep from yawning as my breathing evened out. Left over emotion shook my exhausted yawn.

This was a new thing, letting her hold me, but it was something I didn't want to let go of. Not to lay back down anyway, so I closed my eyes right there in her arms. Just to rest them, but I couldn't help falling asleep right there.

I startled awake at the sound of the door closing, and I was alone. I was laying back down, back under the soft blanket.

I wasted no time, looking around in the very dim light provided by the approaching dawn outside the window. It wasn't quite light in the room, but it was brighter than it had been before. That didn't ease me this time, though.

Just the sound of the door could set me into panic, and I scrambled out of bed, running around the next bed over before jumping onto it. Taking the free five inches or so between where Carlisle laid and the edge of the bed.

I squeezed my eyes shut, whimpering. I knew I'd woken him up, but I couldn't help it. I heard the sound of the door, and I was instantly so sure that Jack had found me.

I curled into a tiny ball, my knees literally under my chin as I laid on my side. My arm covering my head.

I whimpered again, hoping Carlisle wouldn't be mad at me. I half expected to get yelled at like I'd gotten from Jack the other morning when I'd done this same thing. I waited to be shoved off the bed, onto the floor. I waited for him to get mad at me. I waited for the harsh words.

"Leandra?" He asked quietly, "What is it?" I couldn't answer him yet. Waiting for the moment Jack would drag me off the bed and start beating me for running away. Given the way Carlisle only sat up behind where I laid, I knew he wasn't mad.

Carlisle sighed, probably understanding now.

"You're alright, Leandra." He told me, and I flinched slightly at the comforting way he stroked my hair. Just once, before he sat up completely.

He waited with me, watching as I slowly began to believe that I was alright. My tight ball loosened ever-so-slightly as he watched, until the door opened again, and I was right back to the tense, trembling and defensive ball of me that I was before.

"She's okay." Carlisle assured who I assumed was Esme, "She came over as you first left."

"Oh, honey." Esme's voice beside me had me look to her, "I'm sorry I wasn't quieter." I couldn't reply yet. Her eyes softened as I met her gaze, so I knew she wasn't mad either. She looked up, probably to Carlisle, "Alice called. She thinks we should stay a little while longer. To give Leandra a chance to adjust to us and rest a little more before putting her through the long drive back."

"I agree." Carlisle replied, "I was considering the same thing." Hearing Alice's name helped. I knew her, so I felt better.

I closed my eyes again, listening to them talk quietly.

I'd always noticed the little things. Probably because I was a little thing myself, but I noticed things most people didn't. Recalling last night, and just now, I noticed something that I hardly gave any thought to, but was puzzling just the same.

Last night, when Esme had woken up, when she spoke her voice held no hint that she'd been asleep. I remembered observing that. Now, Carlisle's was the same way. Normally, when Jack or my mom would first wake up, their voice would be heavier. This wasn't the same.

I shrugged off that mystery, however. Maybe because of me, they didn't get the best sleep the night before.

"I'm sorry." I started to cry. This time, feeling bad for what I'd done.

"No, honey." Esme murmured beside the bed, "No. You're alright." I uncurled only long enough to hug her. She comforted me easily by returning the embrace, sighing sadly.

The rest of the morning progressed. Slowly, I became less tense, and was able to finally eat something.

Esme and I got to talking, and I found I liked it just as much as I had before. I must have expected it to be temporary or something, but she still didn't treat me like something stupid. And after admitting all I had the night before, that was a very big thing to me.

Carlisle kept his distance, observing from afar, no doubt.

I started to realize how much easier it was to talk to someone without having to think about each response carefully before I said it. Of course, I had my moments of, 'Oh God, what have I done?'

It was odd, feeling fine one minute, and panicking the next. Or panicking one moment, and the next, calming myself. This was the best way, I'd tell myself. I had to do this. There was no other option, I'd tell myself.

Moments of sitting there staring at nothing, imagining the punishment I'd get for doing this. Moments of locking myself in the bathroom for half an hour, just staring at myself in the mirror. What the hell was I doing?

They gave me my time. They assured me that they understood. I wasn't trying to back out, like I had been before. I was just mixed up. Unsure how to feel, and lost. Relieved and scared. Nervous and panicky, but learning how to calm down. It was a very uneasy place in my head.

About the third panicky fit I was in the middle of, Esme had an idea. I laid on the bed, my head buried under three pillows while the rest of me curled into a ball.

"Leandra?" I didn't move at her quiet voice.

"I'm done for." I cried into the pillow.

"No you're not." Esme tried to tell me for the thousandth time, "Leandra, I have someone that wants to talk to you."

I sat up quick enough to send two pillows rolling to the foot of the bed, suddenly upright and looking around. She only meant on the phone she held out. I breathed out deeply, slouching a little in the sudden break of tension.

Hesitantly, I took the phone from her. Before I could even say anything, the other person spoke up.

"Leandra?" It was Alice, and I smiled, despite the nervousness.

"Hi." I spoke quietly.

"I hear you're having doubts."

"Not doubts." I replied, nervously picking at the comforter beside me, "I know I had to do it. It's just.. All my life, I've been told not to tell anyone. Now that I have, I don't know what to do. I know I had to do it, but it feels wrong to me."

"I can tell you right now that you made the right decision, Leandra." She murmured.

"You think?" I hesitantly started to hope.

"I know." She replied, "I know you're probably confused, but you couldn't be in better hands. I promise."

"Okay." I sighed, nodding a little.

"I also wanted to let you know that there's no chance he's getting you back this time." She continued, "Not like last time. I've already had a conversation or two with the ones here that need to know, and they'll be patiently waiting for you to come back. They'll want a word with you."

I whined hesitantly, dread coloring the sound.

"I know." She heard, "But it needed to happen. Precautions are needed in cases like this. You'll be okay. For now, just focus on adjusting. And calm down."

"I'll try." I mumbled, "I just don't know how to feel anymore."

"That's normal." She replied, "This is a big change, Leandra. It'll get easier when you get here, but for what it's worth, I'm _so_ proud of you."

"You are?" I had to ask.

"I am." I heard the smile in her voice, "You don't even realize yet what you managed to do, do you?"

"I guess not."

"You will." She assured me, her tone still smiling, "Just try not to worry so much. Try not to panic, or freak out. You're _safe_ now."

"Okay." I agreed with another sigh, "I'll try."

"Okay." She accepted that, "I'll see you when you guys get back. Can I talk to Esme again?"

I told her goodbye, and handed the phone over. I curled back up, but not as tensely as before. I knew, and I trusted Alice. She'd been the first one there, so I listened to her when she said things like that.

I snoozed a little while Esme spoke with Alice. Not quite awake, but not quite asleep.

It wasn't until the evening that they chose to leave at all, and I had to admit, I was glad they waited. Letting me get out all my nervous, panicky fidgets and paces before even deciding to go anywhere. Pacing would be hard to do in the backseat of a car.

I had to take another shower before we left, and I was hesitant until Esme told me that I could still use the hot water. Then I practically ran into the bathroom myself.

This time, she let me adjust the temperature of the water myself. Probably to get used to it. Considering it was only my second time using it. Probably since I was a baby. I quickly figured out that I shouldn't be too stubborn about the cold water. Hot water hurt when the balance wasn't right. Especially when I wasn't used to it.

I'd burn myself, laugh, and try again. Adding just a little more cold, before burning myself again. Then I figured out it'd be easier, and less painful, to just make it cold, and lessen the cold gradually instead of adding it gradually.

When I got out, I towel dried my hair the best I could get it, but it was still damp, and I was given a new set of clothes.

Though I had just gotten new clothes with Jack, I liked these even more. My new clothes fit just perfectly, and it felt so strange to have these near strangers taking such great care of me when I'd never had that before.

A t-shirt that actually fit me, but also showed off the deep bruising of my upper arms. I expressed my discomfort with showing that in public, until Esme gestured to a sweatshirt I had yet to realize was mine. This one was big on me, by two sizes, so of course I loved it. They really had thought of everything. Right down to the socks and the shoes I wore now.

"From here," Esme told me, "We're just taking you home where you'll spend the night. Then we'll call Charlie." I let her take my hand, despite how nervous I was, "We'll stop at a hotel a little later, because I know how uncomfortable traveling straight home would be for you."

The ride from there actually eased me a bit. Something about leaving that city behind helped my heart slow down, and my breathing even out a bit more comfortably. This back seat was a whole lot more comfortable than Jack's, as it actually had padding.

I didn't try talking. I didn't want to talk at this point. Only answering questions when Esme needed to know something. Was I okay, was I hungry, did I feel okay. I was thinking hard, though. My thoughts refusing to slow down as I stared out the window at the night scenery.

However, I was asleep by the time we did stop sometime around early morning. Half asleep as I was lifted from the backseat. I shifted a little, only moving enough to get comfortable and wrap my arms around Esme's neck. I didn't even have to open my eyes to know it was her.

The temperature change going from outside to inside the hotel was enough to wake me up a little more. Despite how I really didn't want to wake up.

"Isn't she cute?" I heard the desk clerk ask quietly. Probably to make small talk as Carlisle paid for a room.

Before I could stop it, I sighed. Frowned, and sat up.

"Ow." I whimpered. The way I had been held was starting to hurt. That was probably not a usual reaction from sleeping kids that walked through here, so the clerk's concern was justified. I didn't want him to be concerned about me. Not with Carlisle and Esme with me.

I looked up at him as Esme gently let me on my feet, "I was asleep too long in the backseat." I smiled a little, "Sore now."

Instantly, his concern was squashed, and he smiled back at me. It fading once he took in the healing bruise across my face I hadn't had a chance to cover, and the concern was back. I didn't have a chance to cover it up like I normally did.

"What happened there, sweetheart?" By now, I gathered he was suspicious of Carlisle and Esme, so I just shrugged a little. I needed a new lie. New place, new lie.

"Baseball." I laughed as if nothing in the world was wrong, "Josh threw it too fast for me to catch."

"Josh your brother?" The clerk asked, and I shook my head.

"Cousin." I corrected, "He didn't even want to let me play. I guess that's why they say girls aren't very good at sports, huh? He felt so bad." The clerk chuckled, shaking his head. As if scolding himself for ever doubting.

"Here you go, Mr. Cullen." The clerk went about his business. I looked up at Esme, taking her hand in mine. I hoped she didn't mind. I was a very convincing liar when I needed to be, and taking Esme's hand told the clerk I trusted them. I had to show as well as tell. That was the key.

"Put some ice on that." The clerk suggested to me before we walked away.

"Believe me, I have been." I smiled, "Thanks."

That smile instantly faded the moment the elevator doors closed, and I started to cry.

"I hate lying to people." I explained at Esme's worry. That, and I was tired. I was twice as emotional when I was tired.

This room didn't look much different than the old one, except I wouldn't be spending nearly as much time here as I had there. I just wanted to fall asleep. I hated traveling.

"Honey," Esme said as I fell onto the bed, "You've still got to eat something."

"Have you guys eaten?" I asked, looking over at her. She smiled comfortingly at me.

"It's not us we're worried about."

"I'm more tired than hungry." I admitted quietly. Letting my eyes close.

"Alright, sweetie." She murmured, "Get some rest." I didn't even move enough to put my head on the pillows. I laid sideways across the bed, already so close to falling asleep. Tears drying on my cheeks, I sighed.

I woke slightly to being moved. Laid rightways on the bed, and my shoes were removed. With a gentle smooth of my hair, Esme let me rest. I rolled over onto my side, but that was it.

I squinted my eyes open a little later, noticing that the bright, afternoon daylight outside was closed off behind the thick curtains. I'd been covered with a light blanket, as the bed I laid on was still made.

I laid there in bed. Comfortably on my side, the light in the corner on, just so it wasn't so dark. I appreciated that. Very much. Then I started listening.

Esme stood talking with Carlisle a few feet away from the bed. His arms around her, comforting her.

"We need to figure this out, because I don't know what else she can go through." Esme was upset. I had upset her. She'd never said anything, or even looked like she was upset. I felt bad as she went on, "How can anyone treat a child that way?"

"I know." Carlisle sighed in response.

"Nine years old." She murmured softly, "Just a baby. It's unimaginable. We don't even know it all, and it's already appalling. It breaks my heart."

"About that.." Carlisle sighed again, "We're going to have to ask her about it soon. She'll need some sort of practice with talking about it if she's going to open up at all to the police."

"I'm trying." She replied, giving a gentle nod, "I can't imagine it's going to be easy to get her to open up about it without Alice here, at least."

"I'm not too sure about that." Carlisle said, "She seems to be building an attachment to you."

"She wouldn't be the only one." Esme admitted, sighing herself, "It's so difficult not to return that attachment."

"I'm sure the vision she's had isn't helping that any." He added, seeming concerned, "No doubt she'll begin remembering things once everything starts settling down."

He was referring to that dream. He called it a 'vision'. Was that what it had been? It finally made sense to call it something besides just a dream, because even I knew it wasn't just a dream.

"Alice isn't too concerned about it." Esme offered, "She's actually pretty optimistic. I'm sure she'll help her with it."

"Until then?"

"We let her come to it in her own time." She told him, "No sense in rushing these things, Carlisle. No matter where she ends up, Alice won't leave her. You know that."

I let my eyes close again, continuing to listen to them. Somehow, hearing their quiet voices comforted me. I liked it. It assured me that I wasn't alone.

"I'm only worried." Carlisle murmured, "She seems so reluctant to trust."

"She's still adjusting." She explained, "She just needs time, I'm sure. Leandra obviously trusted you enough to call you. That says enough in itself. She's been through too much, and she's been practically alone too long to completely trust immediately. I can only imagine how scared she must have been if it was enough to push her right out of her fear and right to us."

Carlisle sighed, "There's more to it than what she's told us. I know there is."

"In time." Esme reminded him, "We know plenty to get her away from there. She wants to trust, and she has more to say. I see that much, but she did call. It's a start."

"One step at a time." He sighed.

"One step at a time." She agreed.

It was such a new thing for me to realize. How a conversation could go from him comforting her, to her easing him so effortlessly. Smoothly returning support from him to her, without really even trying. It was actually comforting to me. To know that sort of thing was out there. I'd never seen anything like it before.

"If she needs an attachment," Esme added gently, "I'm more than happy to be it, because I know I won't let her down. I think she deserves to know that, and I have to admit. It's becoming very difficult to trust that on anyone else. It's becoming very difficult to trust her safety in anyone else, given how little her own family has been known to protect her."

"I was worried about that." Carlisle replied just as gently with a soft sigh, "My only hope is that she's not sent too far. For your sake as well as hers."

I figured it was rude just laying here listening in, without saying anything. As much as I appreciated finally being let in on their thoughts of me, I didn't want their thoughts of me to sour.

"Is Jack going to be home when we get there?" I asked quietly, opening my eyes again and watching as they turned to look at me.

"No, honey." Esme assured me, "Not our house." She moved forward, sitting gently on the side of the bed. I stayed curled, looking up at her.

"Oh, I'm not going home?" I asked, surprised, "I'll be going to your house?"

"Well, there'll be nobody to watch you at your house." She replied quietly, "Your mother isn't there."

"Fuck her." I grumbled bitterly, surprising Esme.

"Honey." She scolded lightly, "You shouldn't use that kind of language."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I don't mean to. I just hate her."

"Why?"

"Because she left." I replied, "She just left me there. Jack was right. She never wanted me." I sighed, looking to my hand curled in the blanket under my chin, "How come nobody wants me?"

"That's not true." She murmured.

"I've never been so bad. I'm not really a bad kid. I mean, I don't run around burning things down, and I've never hurt anyone. Not seriously. Ken will be okay." I paused, "My dad didn't want me. My mom didn't want me. Jack only wanted me around so he could hit me, but even then, he was going to give me to his dad or drop me off in Mexico."

"Did he say that?" She asked, and I nodded.

"He told me I was lucky he didn't drop me off in Mexico, and let someone else profit off my ass." I muttered, "I'm not too sure what he meant by that, but I think I have an idea."

She took a breath, looking to Carlisle, "That man infuriates me."

"Sorry." I mumbled, and she looked to me again.

"Oh, honey." She sighed, "Sometimes life is complicated." She obviously didn't know what to say. I couldn't blame her.

"But why does it have to be complicated for me?" I asked, "I never did anything wrong. Jack blames me for everything, but I know at least some of that has to be made up. Sometimes, though, I'm not too sure."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I had to have done something to deserve what life I got." I explained, "I've asked Jack what I did so wrong to make him hate me so much. All he says is that it's because I was born. He says that I was made unwanted, born unwanted, and I'm going to die unwanted. He tells me that all the time."

I hadn't realized how sad my tone was, until I could see it in her eyes. I pursed my lips a little, deciding to try to fix it. I didn't want her to be sad, oddly enough. I knew the more I admitted to her, the more sad she got. I wanted to fix it.

"I guess some people just get the short end of the stick sometimes." I sighed and rolled over onto my back. Looking up at her where she sat. Closing my eyes briefly, before looking back up at her, "As shitty as my life is, I am glad for one thing. Something I would never trade for the best life in the world."

"What is that, sweetie?" She asked.

"Dreaming about you guys." I replied, "If I hadn't of dreamed about you guys, then Jack probably would have.." I trailed off, "I don't know. Sold me to someone or he would have dropped me off in Mexico, like he said. If he didn't think to give me to Ken, he'd have gotten rid of me some other way, and I wouldn't have had anyone to call."

"He wouldn't." She murmured, stroking my hair. I looked up at her, still not used to the comforting gesture, but appreciating it all the same.

"You don't know him very well." I mumbled. She glanced across the room to Carlisle, his eyes on us, but I needed to express one more worry, "I don't want to go to someone who'll do that. There are lots of weirdos out there, you know. I got stuck with one of them, so who knows who I'll go to next?"

She gave me a soft smile, "You don't need to worry about that today, honey."

"I know." I murmured, yawning as my eyes closed, "I'm scared, though. If I have to go somewhere, I'd rather just stay with Jack. Or Ken, or whoever gets to keep me. At least there, I know what to expect."

She was quiet, and I jumped lightly at the sound of the heater turning on. I jumped at every unexpected sound. Opening my eyes, I looked back up at Esme's sad gaze. This time, however, I didn't cry. I must have been calming down.

"Something's different." I mumbled, and she seemed confused, "I don't know how to explain it, except that something's changed. It's not the same. I've felt it for awhile now." She was quiet, "Is that part of the gift thing Alice was telling me about? How I'm just not okay with something?"

"I can ask her for you." She offered and I nodded.

"I think I'm remembering." I admitted almost silently, "I think I'm starting to remember things. Things about the dream."

"Like what?" She continued to smooth my hair, which I appreciated. She had a way of doing it that made me feel a whole lot better. Like the gentle movement could reach all the tension I had.

"I trust you." I mumbled, "A-At least a little. It means I knew you. In the dream, I mean. I knew you. I knew you'd be there. I knew Carlisle would come. I know there should be a memory there, but it's hard to get to. I know you don't think I'm weird."

"Of course not." She replied, shaking her head.

"I'm not used to that." I continued, "I'm not used to trusting anyone I just met. Not like that. Not like anything. I hate everyone I first meet, but I can't with any of you. It's impossible. That has to mean something, right?"

She was quiet, knowing I still wanted to keep talking.

"I think I'm starting to remember." I sighed, repeating myself, "I remember you. I remember Carlisle, and everyone else, but I haven't seen who I remember the most."

"Who's that, honey?"

"The only one I think I remember actually seeing. I don't remember much about him except.." I paused, "No, you'll think I'm nuts."

"Not at all." She assured me, and I looked up at her, "Go on."

"His red eyes." I admitted. I waited the several silent seconds, and I watched as she glanced to Carlisle yet again. Probably to make sure he was still listening, "I remember him. I think it's because of the feeling I get. I'm afraid, but for different reasons I think than I should be. I don't like him much, whoever it is."

"If you remember anything else about him, it might tell us who you're talking about." Esme told me quietly, and I sighed.

"I'll try." I murmured.

She didn't think I was nuts. She believed me. Just like that, she believed me.

I fell back to sleep at that thought, knowing Esme would stay there. Something I never had was the confidence that someone would stay. Somehow, I just knew. I knew she wouldn't leave my side as I slept. Neither of them would.

When I woke next, I sat up instantly. At first, I thought I was alone by the way I didn't see anyone around me. Then, I found Carlisle sitting in the chair in the corner. Reading a rather large book.

I watched him for a moment, curious. He glanced up, noticing me watching him, and I looked back down. Finding my hands suddenly more fascinating.

"Are you alright?" He asked, and I frowned a little.

"No." I answered quietly, and he set his book to the side. I listened to him stand, and I knew he was coming over. Crossing the room to sit on the side of the bed, I hardly glanced at him, "Where's Esme?"

"She'll be back in a moment." He answered, "She only went to get you something to eat."

"I'm not that hungry." I mumbled, "It hurts too much." He was quiet, so I figured I'd explain, "Sometimes the healing part hurts as much as getting the bruises. Just in a different way."

"How often would he hit you?" He asked, "Was it always that way?"

"Not always." I replied, "Just a lot. When I mess up, or piss him off. When I just annoy him, it's not as bad. I do mess up a lot, though. Most of the time, the old bruises don't have enough time to heal before he gives me more or makes them worse."

I was far more cooperative now, and he was seeing that. He'd given me my space up until now, letting Esme be the one to interact with me. Even I could see how that helped.

"Carlisle, there's a lot you don't know." I admitted after a minute of silence, looking up shamefully. Confirming his earlier thoughts during his conversation with Esme.

"I'm starting to see that." He nodded a little, "But I'm willing to try to help you, if you're willing to be helped." I looked down, "You don't need to fear me, Leandra. I promise you."

"I know." I replied, "I'm just.. Really confused."

"And that's understandable, given how much you've been through lately." He explained, "We'll get you through this."

"Why did you come?" I had to ask, "You didn't have to. I'm nobody."

He sighed, "I won't lie. I don't pretend to understand much about this situation, between Alice and yourself, but I also won't attempt to stand against it. I trust Alice's judgement, and when she tells me someone is in need, I take her word for it."

I stayed quiet now, studying his expression with continued confusion of my own.

"And I also meant what I told you before." He added, "You reached out, Leandra. I do understand how much courage that has to take for someone in your situation, even if you're convinced it was only out of fear. I can assure you, that took amazing amounts of courage, and I wanted to show you that even though you've been shown differently before, there are still reasons to hope."

"Maybe that's why I'm confused." I murmured, "I've never had any reason to hope before."

"Never?"

"Well," I shrugged lightly, "There was hoping my dad would suddenly decide to care about me again, but if he hadn't bothered to see or talk to me since he left, why bother? My mom ignored me every day, so she wasn't much hope. I couldn't tell anyone, or expect them to bother their own lives long enough to look at me, so there went that. The only thing I learned to hope for was that Jack was in an okay mood that day, or I could finally find a hiding spot good enough to keep him from finding me. That one never worked."

I took a breath as it was his turn to study me, "It's not that I'm afraid of you. It's not that. I'm not. I just.." I trailed off, shrugging lightly again.

"You've just been given far too many reasons not to trust." He added, and I sighed. Finally, there was an explanation to how I felt.

"Exactly." He did understand, which relieved me. I didn't want him to think that I didn't like him.

"I can't blame you for that." He told me, "Nobody can. You've earned the right, more than I'm sure you know, to reserve judgement. Until you can see for yourself that you're in good hands, I can't do much to sway your opinion, and that's okay.

"I want you to take your time. I want you to come to see this for yourself. The amount of trust you have shown me so far is more than I could have asked for, so I thank you for that. I thank you for your honesty, despite all the reasons you had not to give it."

I didn't know what to say to that. Though I had no choice in being honest, and we both knew it, he thanked me for it? He was thanking me for calling him? For asking for his help? He spoke, acted like my life somehow mattered to him, and that was a new thing to me.

We both glanced over as Esme returned, smiling a little as she closed the door quietly behind herself.

"But until then," Carlisle continued, taking my attention again, "I strongly believe that you deserve all the kindness we can give to you, because it's been withheld from you for so very long. We'll figure this out, Leandra. For now, all you have to focus on is getting some rest." I nodded, looking down, "We'll make it home tomorrow, and from there, it's one step at a time."

I felt much better after talking to Carlisle a little more. I was indescribably glad it hadn't turned out like Ken. The way I had been expecting myself to like Ken better after I talked to him, only to be proven so wrong. This was different. I already sensed that Carlisle was okay, and talking with him only helped me see that a little more.

Maybe that's why I'd been putting it off? I didn't want to find out he wasn't good. Now that I didn't have to worry about that much anymore, I felt a little better. It did help.

**A/N: Aww. :D  
>I really, really like how this edit came out. This was one of the chapters bugging me the most. I guess when I wrote the original, I didn't know how to word things right, but I think I fixed it, so yay for that.<strong>  
><strong>THANK YOU to those AWESOME reviewers! You know who you are. :) You've made me one happy authorperson! **  
><strong>Eleven will be out soon, but no current estimation. <em>Hopefully<em>, we can move on soon. That part may take some time, because I need to make that longer. We'll see what comes of it, though. :)****  
>Oh, and I know I said it yesterday, but here it is again for those reading today.<strong>  
><strong>Happy HolidaysMerry Christmas! :D Have a happy/fun/safe/exciting/lovely holiday!  
>Until Eleven, my friends! :D<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

We made it to their house the next evening. Carlisle had started us off very early, and drove straight home now. We didn't stop this time, but I was allowed to lay down and sleep in the backseat. The warmth was just enough to ease me, and the motion of the car allowed me to sleep, but not sleep deep enough to dream, so that was actually a plus.

With the tint on the windows as dark as it was, the sunlight didn't bother me. Until the sunlight faded behind clouds, and as evening approached, faded completely. Before I knew it, I'd snoozed the entire trip away.

However, I was moody. Uncomfortable from sitting for so long, and emotional. Scared, but knowing I couldn't go back now if I wanted to. I was uncertain, but not about trying to believe Carlisle. He knew what he was doing, even if I didn't. I was just along for the ride, and whatever happened from this point on was up to him.

I stepped into the house easily this time, no hesitation anywhere in me. I let myself be led into the living room to find the others. I wasn't as shy this time, even if I clearly knew I had to look like crap from the long drive. Nobody seemed mad that I had to have Carlisle come save me. They seemed just fine with me being there.

Alice stood and moved forward, hugging me.

"Hey again, shorty." Emmett was the first to say anything to greet me, and I took a shaky breath. I appreciated that, as it gave me more of a sense of how he was feeling.

"Hi." I mumbled in response. The least I could do was talk to him.

"Tough morning?" He had to ask. I couldn't help the renewing tears welling in my eyes as I nodded. I took a breath, wishing I could just stop crying. Instead of proving to them how much of a baby I was. I couldn't help it though. I was still in so much pain, and that, on top of being so scared just broke my heart.

Since I couldn't stop it, I stopped trying to stop it. Hugging onto Alice tighter, I squeezed my eyes shut as tears escaped. She accepted the hug easily, sighing.

"I know." She told me, "You're alright now. You did the right thing. You're so brave."

"I didn't want to call." I mumbled into the sleeve of her jacket, "I couldn't help it. I didn't want to live there."

"He was going to leave her with his father." Carlisle explained, "That's why he took her so far away."

"Just leave her there?" Emmett asked, surprised. Alice must have been the only one filled in on that particular detail. She didn't seem the least bit confused as she hugged me.

"Why?" Rosalie asked this time, "Why would he just leave her there?"

"Because I was noticed." I answered, turning to look at her, and she looked down to me, "He said I would stay there for however long it took for people to forget who I was."

I let go of Alice, stepping back.

"What's going to happen?" I had to ask quietly, looking up at her.

"Tonight, you'll stay here." Carlisle answered, and I looked back at him, "Tomorrow, I'll give Charlie a call. The police chief here. He'll come by and he'll ask you some things, and find a family to take you in."

"I won't go." I mumbled, "I would rather go back to Jack."

"Leandra." Alice sighed, and I looked down. I knew. 'Don't start that again' and all that.

"Sorry." I replied, sighing shakily.

"Why?" Jasper's voice had me look to him, "Why wouldn't she do all she could to get away from him?" He was directing that question to Alice, probably, but he was looking at me.

"She says something is different." Alice answered, "And that scares her." So Esme had talked to her. I hadn't been sure there for a moment, but given the fact that she knew, it told me she had. It was quiet for a moment as Jasper's eyes narrowed slightly in confusion, "Something like this must have happened in the dream she had, and it's different now."

"And she still can't remember what it is that has changed?" Jasper asked, and Alice shook her head.

"Well, let's think about it for a second." Jasper continued, "She knows us. She trusts us, without even really knowing why. Even despite the way that she doesn't trust her own trust." He paused, "Perhaps in this dream, we were the ones she went to?"

"That's highly unlikely." Carlisle murmured, and I looked to him.

"I don't think it's so unlikely." I mumbled, unshed tears in my eyes.

"Are you sure?" Alice asked, and I nodded.

"What else can you remember about it?" Jasper asked me quietly, and I looked to him.

"Not much else." I admitted quietly, taking a calming breath, "It's still there, though. Just waiting, I think, for me to get back to sleep like I was sleeping that night, but that's going to be hard to do."

"Why?" He asked almost hesitantly.

"Because I was really hurt that night, and I don't even remember sleeping." I replied, "I remember.. The night before that, and I remember laying there on the floor. I remember waking up, but almost nothing in between, but I know I dreamed."

"Carlisle," Alice spoke up again, "A word?" I sighed, watching her turn. Leading Carlisle into another room. It started again. I wanted to tell them that they didn't need to leave the room to talk about me, but to me, that seemed too much like trying to boss them around.

"I don't mean to bother anyone." I murmured almost silently, "I should have just stayed home that day."

"You're not a bother to anyone." Jasper replied, "Not at all."

"Like making Carlisle drive two states away just to pick me up wasn't a bother." I mumbled doubtfully, "I had to, though. I'm sorry."

"Esme has been keeping us updated." Jasper told me, "And I believe you. I wonder if Jack knows that what he attempted to do was illegal."

I looked up at him, frowning.

"Everything about what Jack does is illegal." I reminded him, sitting back down. Emmett found that funny.

"She's got you there, Jasper." Emmett pointed out, and chuckled.

"No, what I'm saying is giving you to someone else in an attempt to hide you and what he does was illegal." Jasper clarified.

"Is there anything in that about giving me to someone worse?" I wondered, mostly to myself as I looked down, "He was so mad when I ran. I've never done that before. I've never run from him, and I've never told him no."

It was quiet for a moment, so I spoke up.

"I don't know what to do." I admitted, feeling vulnerable, "I know you, but I don't. I trust you, but I don't. I'm just confused, and I don't know how to fix it." I let out a pair of sobs, looking down as he studied me.

"Leandra, do you think you still would have called us had he not tried to make you stay?" Jasper asked, and I thought about it.

"I wanted to stay with him." I mumbled, "I don't know why, but I really didn't want to be left there with Ken. I-I mean, I know why now, but I didn't then. So.." I sighed, "No, probably not."

He was quiet for a moment, glancing to Emmett and Rosalie beside him before looking back to me, "Leandra, can I be honest with you?" I nodded, looking back up, "Where do you think you would be in.. A year? Two? If you had not called, what do you think your life would turn out like?" I averted my eyes, biting my lip.

I knew exactly what he was asking, and I had the answer to that, but I really didn't want to explain that just yet. In a year or two, I probably wouldn't be the same. I just knew I'd be a whole lot worse off than I was right then.

"With the ability you have, I know you're learning how to use it." He pointed out, "Your gift, your ability is all about the future and the way it can always change. What you choose to do now can, and will affect what happens tomorrow, but you know that. There are so many ways things can change, and what you're experiencing now is due to the decision you made three days ago."

I looked back up, interested in the way he was explaining this. It made more sense this way, and someone was finally explaining it to me.

"Just the same way as the others you know are experiencing what they are, or will, because of a decision they made. It's all subjective in the way it turns out. You have the ability to know what steps will lead you here," He gestured to the left, "Or here." Now the right, "And who will be beside you here or there. Do you understand?" I nodded, "It's not up to you to control the decisions of others. That's their business, but you can control your own. You're starting to see that."

Okay, I liked him. I felt a lot better, and I sighed. Nodding. Letting him know he was right. I looked up at Esme beside me, and she smiled down at me.

"We can't give her away." Jasper finally said, looking to Esme, "Not with a gift like hers, and definitely not if she could potentially remember crucial information."

"What?" I asked, sniffling, "Like, stay here? I couldn't do that. I couldn't bother anyone that way."

"Jasper is right." Carlisle's voice surprised me. I looked back at Carlisle and Alice returning, "We have to keep her here."

I sniffled again, surprised at how easy it was to be comforted by that statement. I suddenly felt better, and it showed. Hearing him say it didn't make me as uneasy, as if what he said was law.

Hell, if it was this gift thing that kept me from having to be sent to strangers, I'd take it. I'd gladly take it.

"Do you feel better?" Alice asked me, and I sighed. Unable to lie, I nodded.

"Her gift is decision based." Alice turned, looking toward the others, "Originally, Carlisle had been planning on letting the state take her, and that's when she resisted. That was unacceptable to her, because more than likely, in her vision, she stayed here. Like you said, Jazz."

"I wish I could remember." I mumbled, sighing.

"It could just be hard for you because you're so young." Alice offered, and I pursed my lips.

"And what about Jack?" I asked again, looking up at Carlisle, "Is he going to get into trouble if I talk to Charlie?"

"Definitely." Jasper answered, and I glanced to him, "Leandra, he deserves to."

"I know he does." I replied, "But I'm afraid. Nobody knows what he can do, and nobody is listening to me. He's good at getting away with what he does."

"All you have to do," Alice spoke next, "Is be honest. Tell Charlie everything."

"Everything?" I asked quietly, looking up at her, "Nobody wants to hear that."

"The more you can tell him, the better. I promise." She replied, "Let him take it from there."

I gave a hesitant sort of whine, looking down.

"I don't even like thinking about everything." I replied, "Why would he want to know it?"

"Trust me." She said, "He'll want to know."

"The more he knows, the less likely it is he gets away with it, Leandra." Jasper explained further, and I sighed. I definitely felt the last few days.

"He'll get away with it anyway." I mumbled, "Because you don't know him like I do. Or his dad. That's part of the reason why I ran." I shrugged a little.

"I don't blame you one bit, shorty." Emmett replied, and I glanced to him.

"I'm not that short." I huffed, looking down. Though the name he gave me wasn't all that bad, and I didn't really mind it, I thought I'd point that out. It was definitely better than some of the things Jack called me.

Emmett seemed to find that amusing.

"Until you're taller than me, shorty, you're short." He chuckled, and I knew he wasn't trying to be mean. That helped. It lightened my mood significantly, and I couldn't help smiling a little.

Rosalie beside him turned, heading for the stairs.

"Excuse me." Carlisle followed her, and I glanced over, watching as he left the room.

"I don't think I'll ever be taller than you." I admitted shyly, and he grinned.

"I know." He said, "And what does that tell you?"

"That you'll always call me shorty?" I asked, unsure.

"If you insist." He replied, and I smiled a little more, shaking my head. I yawned, looking down.

"That's my cue." Esme laughed quietly behind me, "I'll make you something quick to eat, honey." She seemed only too thrilled to keep offering things. I didn't have the heart to tell her I really wasn't hungry. She'd done so much for me, the least I could do was eat whatever she made.

"So." I jumped a little as Emmett flopped down beside me, staring over at him with widened eyes, "How was California? Other than the creepy old bastard."

I had to actually bite back the laugh that threatened to leave. Emmett was making it increasingly difficult to stay afraid of him.

"Emmett." Alice wasn't very happy. Probably unhappy with his choice of words, or the fact that he brought Ken up at all, but I didn't care. He made it seem silly to stay nervous around him. I glanced up, watching as Alice crossed the room to stand beside Jasper.

"What?" He asked innocently, "Okay, okay. Other than the creepy old guy." He fixed his previous words, and the look he gave her was enough.

This time, I did laugh. Just a little bit, but it was a laugh. He grinned at me, and I couldn't help smiling in return. I wouldn't trust being alone with him, especially given how much bigger he was than me, but I was starting to not mind him so much.

"It was fine." I answered quietly, "Besides that, I mean."

"Do tell." Emmett seemed intently fascinated, and for a second, I was thrown off. This was something nobody had asked about yet. Always curious about what happened, instead of what else happened.

"I liked Heather." I offered, and he nodded.

"And she is..?"

"Oh." I said, "Heather is Jack's sister."

"The plot thickens." He commented, still listening.

"I didn't think she liked me at first." I admitted, "But I guess she was okay. I mean, it was her fault Jack met my mom, but I don't think that's actually her fault."

At Emmett's prompting, I was able to tell him about Heather and Mike, and their boys. Effectively distracting myself from everything that had gone wrong. That was much easier to talk about, and I found I was a lot less tense while talking about them than I had been since Carlisle had come to get me.

"So." Emmett said, "She said she would stand between you two, but was gone that day?"

"Yeah." I answered, "I mean, I get it. I actually forgot that she said that until just now, but I don't blame her for having to go along with Jack. Jack gets what he wants. That's what he does. It's impossible to tell him no on something he really wants."

"I'll tell him no with a fist to his face." Emmett grinned and immediately, I shook my head.

"That would probably just piss him off." I looked down, "But anyway, they weren't gone very long."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, they got back right as I was running away. Like she forgot something, or something."

"She was probably coming back to check on you." Jasper offered, and I thought about it. Maybe.

"She was so mad at Ken." I added, "I wasn't paying much attention to that part, though. Jack was telling me to get back inside, but.." I sighed, "It was like.. I couldn't. I normally listen to him. I never just.. Not do whatever he tells me. I learned a long time ago never to piss him off like that. He gets really creative, I guess, when he's angry."

"Creative?" Emmett prompted.

"Well, like.." I thought for an example, "Like when he told me to make you guys forget about me. He told me that if anyone kept noticing me, he'd put me back in the box, and he did for a day."

"What box?" Jasper asked this time.

"Alice saw it." I said, "That shed looking thing in the back yard? Where I got the shovel from?" She sighed, nodding, and I looked back to Jasper, "It's this little shed thing in the back yard. It's really small, but smaller on the inside. I was in there for three days once when I was seven.

"I really didn't want to go back in there, but I didn't want to make you all forget about me either. When I got back to him that morning a few days ago, he put me in there until we left that night." I looked down, "I hate that thing so much."

"That's why you insisted that day." Jasper murmured, understanding now, "That's why you refused to admit it." Silently, I nodded, "Edward mentioned you had good reason, but he never mentioned what that reason was."

"How would Edward know?" I found myself asking, frowning. Alice patted his arm around her, and they looked to each other for a few seconds.

"Excuse us for a moment." Jasper murmured, heading for the kitchen. Alice followed, and I watched as they left.

"Okay." I agreed quietly, confused. I noticed that it was just Emmett and I sitting there now. How was it possible that even with all the people living here, a room could be empty?

"Umm.." I mumbled now, looking toward the kitchen. I wanted to go find Esme, but I didn't want to be rude, and follow Jasper when he wanted to talk to Alice.

"You're nervous." Emmett pointed out from where he sat.

"A little." I replied, still watching toward the kitchen.

"You'd have a better chance of being mauled by a bear than of me bothering you." He said, and I looked to him, "Trust me. I might pick on you a little bit, but I'm harmless, shorty. I promise." It confused me how he used that example. I really did pick up on the little things.

"A bear?" I asked, and he smiled.

"Yup." He said, "A bear. A big ol' mean bear."

"How do I know you're not the bear?" I asked, and he was quiet for a moment, studying me a bit with a surprised expression. Suddenly smiling wider, he chuckled, shaking his head, "What? You're as big as one."

"This is fun." I was a little lost at how funny that seemed to him. It was a simple question. Why would that entertain him so much?

Thankfully, Esme called for me a few moments later, and I jumped up. Emmett stayed behind, continuing to laugh to himself.

"I think I broke Emmett." I muttered worriedly as I stepped into the kitchen with Esme. Eying the plate she placed on the counter.

"He's always been broken." Alice laughed a little. Jasper seemed fine now, which was relieving.

"Are you guys going to eat too?" I asked, hoping they'd at least keep me company.

"We had a big lunch." Alice answered, "You go ahead."

"I'll go fix Emmett." Jasper offered, stepping away from Alice, and heading back toward the living room. I frowned a little, sighing. Looking up at Esme, she smiled at me.

"What about you?" I asked, "You haven't eaten all day. Aren't you hungry?" She laughed a little.

"Oh, honey." She sighed, setting the plate in front of me as I took a seat at the counter. I liked sitting here.

"What?" I asked. Why did everyone think the things I asked were funny? I sighed, but didn't press it.

I yawned several times while sitting there. Despite having snoozed in the car all the way back here, I was more tired than anything. It probably had more to do with the emotional few days I'd had.

"Once you're finished," Esme said, "I'll show you your room." I would have a room? That was difficult to understand.

"I could just stay on the couch." I offered, "Like before."

"We have the room." Esme assured me, "It's not a problem, sweetie. I'd prefer you to be comfortable."

"It's the least you deserve." Alice murmured.

Alice followed us from the kitchen, and up the hall, and I couldn't help noticing the way she watched me.

I wanted so badly to understand. I wanted to remember, but I really couldn't. The answer further from my mind as I stood there in the doorway, looking over all I saw in the room that was meant to be mine.

It was unmistakable. I'd been here. I knew this room.

"Is this the right room?" Alice asked, watching my expression. I nodded slowly and she smiled.

"I thought so." She added, looking to Esme, "This was hers. It had to be."

"I wish I could remember it." I whimpered, "This is so weird."

"I know." Alice murmured, "You'll get it."

I sighed, frowning a little as I looked around my room. I knew she was right, that I would get it. I just didn't know when.

They allowed me a moment to look around the bedroom. A soft night light stood on the long dresser against the far wall, and I smiled a little at it. Curiously, I pulled open the door beside me. It was a closet, given all the clothes hanging on the bar inside.

"Those are yours." Esme told me, and I couldn't help being surprised.

"All of it?" I asked, looking up at the clothing. At least seven or eight pairs of shoes sat in a neat line on the floor of the closet. Three pairs of tennis shoes, others different.

"Sure is, honey." She smiled a little, "There's more in the dresser."

"There's more?" I couldn't stop asking questions, or hide my shock, "I've never had this many clothes."

"I heard." She replied sadly, watching me as I slowly pulled open one of the eight drawers to find it full of jeans. Different color denim, all without a hint of a hole in them. I closed the drawer quietly, opening another. Peering in curiously. I couldn't tell what this drawer was, so looking harder, I pawed through the fabric. Pajamas. Pajama shirts, matching sets, shorts. All kinds of clothing sat in there.

Looking around the room again, the window on the far right wall was open a little, allowing a comforting breeze into the room, fluttering the curtain over the window. Not a single hole in any of the walls, or stain on the flawless carpet.

Even the bed was something out of a magazine.

Instead of the cold metal bars that made up my headboard at home, this one was a soft wood color. Four poster, but not overwhelming. Matching footboard, with a soft aqua blue colored sheet and comforter set.

Touching the soft bed with my hand was a feeling I hadn't anticipated. It wasn't like the hotel rooms, or laying in Jack's bed, but this was mine. For as long as I was here, anyway. Somehow that made it even more comfortable.

Sitting down, it was almost painful how comfortable this was.

"This can't be real." I whimpered. I couldn't believe it.

"Alice decorated." Esme explained, "I didn't mind it. She also did most of the clothes shopping for you."

"I estimated your size." Alice admitted sheepishly, "Comparing the size of my coat on you, so I hope everything fits okay." That would explain the pajamas and clothes I'd already been given.

"You knew I'd be here before I even called." I understood. She just smiled gently, answering wordlessly at first.

"I knew," She finally murmured, "The second you met Ken. I knew it was coming." I looked down.

I sat there for a good while after Esme and Alice left. Just trying to adjust. This was so weird to me. The light was off, but the night-light kept me from worrying. Probably a last minute addition, but I appreciated it all the same. It illuminated the room just enough. It was perfect.

I wished so much I could explain this, but there was no explanation. Each one I thought of didn't explain it. Maybe this room reminded me of my room at home? Not even close. This room was nothing like the one I lived in at home.

The furniture was nice, not falling apart. It all matched, and the bed was soft. And big. There were real curtains over the window, instead of a plain bed sheet. It looked and felt like a real bedroom, instead of just some place to suffer. That was the difference.

Maybe I'd just seen a room like this before? Nope. Never. It was more than recognizing the way it looked. It was more than that. I felt like I'd been here. With how familiar this house, and these people were, I had to think.

They had to be the reason I woke up that morning hating the fact that I had. They had to be the reason I remembered this place, and the reason I felt so safe. There was no other explanation. It would take some getting used to, but I had to accept that.

I wasn't alone anymore.

I liked the idea that if I needed to, I could find everyone just up the hall, or upstairs during the night. It comforted me, knowing someone could be there when I needed them. Not passed out drunk, or only there to hurt me.

Jasper was right, though.

I didn't trust my own trust. If I learned to trust my own trust, it would be easier on me, I knew. I would try, because they deserved it. Maybe here, I would learn about my supposed gift. It'd proven itself, I guess, but it was hard to believe. I doubted that Alice would let me stay skeptical very long. With her having the same gift as I had.

There was so many confusing things about this. Things I had to get used to, but it was more than that as well. There was more to these people than I knew, but I couldn't figure it out.

I fell asleep early that night. Even in a brand new bed, I didn't wake up once. Even if I knew I should. I definitely wasn't used to having all this room. My bed at home was a twin sized bed. Hardly any room, but somehow, two people managed to fit in it at a time.

I refused to think about that as I woke up. Laying in bed, I chose to wake up slowly.

I was nervous today, but I knew that had more to do with the visit from Charlie later. I really didn't want to do this. I was scared, and I just knew talking to him would be a big mistake, but they had to call him.

I knew enough to know that not calling him was a big mistake. Kidnapping and all that stuff. Like before. How would I go about telling him that I wanted to be kidnapped?

Esme slowly opened the door, and I looked to her from where I still lay. She gave me a smile, and I looked back down.

"I can't." I mumbled, "I can't talk to Charlie."

"Yes you can, honey." She walked in, sitting beside me on the bed, "I know you can. Carlisle will be there with you."

"Is he here now?" I asked quietly, and she nodded.

"The only one we're waiting on is you." She told me, and I bit my lip, "Sweetheart, he knows how hard this is on you. He knows you're scared. He knows enough to understand that much, but he needs you to tell him everything."

"What if I mess up?" I asked, "Or.. I don't know.. Forget something or something?"

"You won't." She assured me.

She managed to get me out of bed, and walked me from the room.

I was afraid. Despite knowing how I didn't have to be, I was afraid of Charlie. The Police Chief that looked my way from the living room. I didn't know why I didn't have to be, but the moment I walked in, and he looked at me, I was at war with myself.

Just as with the two cops I'd seen that day, I tensed at just the sight of him seeing me. I hated cops so much.

"I thought you said she was nine years old." He said, surprised as he looked to Carlisle. He was expecting a bigger kid, obviously.

"She is." Carlisle nodded, and Charlie looked back to me. I was momentarily distracted by a rather large yawn. Even with getting as much sleep as I had the night before, I was still tired. I really didn't want to do this, and that probably had everything to do with how tired I was. I hesitated as Esme tried to start forward.

Nobody was listening to me.

"You're alright, Leandra." Charlie told me, and that didn't help any. I knew he knew what he was here for, and no doubt, he was only here to make my life harder than it needed to be.

Despite that, however, I let Esme lead me closer. She led me to Carlisle's side, and as much as that comforted me, I couldn't keep holding her hand. She was obviously not allowed to stay. Probably to minimize distractions, but I wasn't sure. I was just convinced Charlie wanted to be cruel.

I sat quickly on the couch, curling into a ball. As far from him as I could possibly get.

Charlie sat in the chair adjacent to the couch, and immediately started on how Carlisle should have gone to him first. How he should have contacted the police there, instead of contacting the police here and taking his time bringing me back.

"I didn't do anything wrong." Were my first words to him. I could only hold his gaze for a moment, "Neither did Carlisle." He sighed, lowering his brown eyes to the packet of paper in front of him.

"The law says-"

"Fuck the law." I interrupted him and he looked back up, shocked, "There are two kinds of people that break the law. The people who break the law to help someone else, and the people who break the law to hurt someone else. I would rather be with the first types of people, because I've seen what the second type of person can do to someone like me. So instead of getting mad at Carlisle for helping me, get mad at Jack for hurting me."

He was quiet for a second.

"I'm sorry." I finally said, "I didn't mean it."

"You're okay, Leandra." He assured me, "Just relax. I'm not here to get anyone in trouble that doesn't need to be, okay?" He was quiet, watching me as I watched my hands on my knees, "Just relax." Like that was possible.

Carlisle slowly moved, sitting down in the other chair, the one closest to me. For a brief moment, I half wondered why Carlisle was allowed to be here and Esme wasn't, but I figured I didn't care much about that.

"Carlisle's not in trouble." I muttered, giving Charlie a light glare.

"He's not." Charlie shook his head, "I was only mentioning it."

"Good." I looked back down, "I wouldn't have talked to the cops there anyway. You're lucky I'm talking to you."

"Thank you for that." Charlie replied, and I shrugged, "I was told you had a certain.. Distrust for the police?" How could I not? I replied only with a glance his way, which I could see told him he was right.

"Can you tell me why that is?" Truthfully, this was already the most I'd ever had to talk to a cop. He seemed like a friendly, nice enough person. I was harder to convince than that, though. I shook my head a little, answering him.

Instead, I focused on a faded, rounded scar on the side of my wrist. Choosing to make that more interesting than anything Charlie had to say.

"Well, that's okay." Charlie assured me. I glanced back up as he looked to Carlisle, "Are you sure she wouldn't be more comfortable talking to a woman?"

"That wouldn't matter." I grumbled, "You're all the same."

"I see." Charlie nodded a little at my answer, "That's okay, too. I'm told I'm more likable than them anyway." I caught a small, amused smile before I could let it slip too much. I was funny. I chose to look away instead. I didn't want to like him.

"Leandra," He spoke up again, "I'll be honest. I know you know what I'm here to talk to you about."

"I know." I murmured, shrugging a little like it didn't matter to me, but it really did, "And I know that I have to tell you. Right?"

"Well, it would be highly preferable." He replied, "Without you telling me about it, I can't do much to help you out."

"Is there any way to tell you without getting him into trouble?" I asked after a moment.

"Why wouldn't you want to get him into trouble?" Charlie asked quietly.

"Because." I mumbled, but he waited, "Because I don't trust you to keep me alive."

I glanced up, and could clearly see that he had no idea before just how bad it'd been. Alice told me I had to tell Charlie everything. Everything was a _lot_.

"You don't need to worry about that." Charlie finally replied, "We'll find him, and we'll hold him for as long as we can." I blinked in surprise.

"You mean you don't have him yet?" That was news to me.

"Well, no." He said, "We had to wait until today."

"You're not going to find him." My tone was matter-of-fact, and I knew it had every reason to be that way. I shook my head.

"Yes, we will-"

"No." I said, looking up, "You won't. He's had a head start. You gave him a chance to get away, and he knows you'll be looking for him."

"How would he know?" Charlie asked, curious.

"I told him." I admitted quietly, "I told him that if he tried to leave me there, I would tell everyone everything." I sighed, "I was trying to threaten him, but it didn't work. You can bet, though, that he's long gone. He was probably long gone the second he figured out he wouldn't find me and shut me up."

He didn't seem too worried, but with the new crease in his brow, I knew that news concerned him at least a little.

"We'll just handle this today." He finally said, "Is that alright? It's just a few questions." Hesitantly, I nodded. Taking a breath.

The first few questions were easy. My full name, birthday, where I lived, and things like that. I answered those easily. I had a sneaking suspicion, though, that those questions were first just to make me think the rest of the questions wouldn't be so bad.

However, the next few questions were very, very difficult to answer. I wouldn't make myself answer those ones. Jack's name, I could give him. I could give him Jack's birthday, but didn't quite remember the year.

Then came the question I expected. What did Jack do to me?

The next hour, we were getting nowhere. Quickly. I either stayed silent through his repeated questions, or I skirted around them. I didn't know how to be honest with someone I didn't trust.

There was no way I was spilling anything to Charlie, but just like the night I was essentially interrogated by Alice, the pressure was hard on me too. I knew he was wasting his time. I had to wonder, though, when Charlie would understand that too.

At the end of the hour, I looked up as Esme stepped into the room, clearly feeling how tired I was. I didn't like this. Not in the least, but I appreciated her coming to check on me.

"How is she doing?" She asked, and Charlie sighed.

"Not very well." He replied, "We've gotten nowhere."

"Might I suggest something?" Carlisle asked, glancing to me. I closed my eyes, resting my forehead on my drawn up knees. I was so tired. I didn't want this stranger knowing everything. Gently, Esme sat down beside me. Charlie must have agreed to let her stay.

"Leandra." I looked up tiredly at Carlisle's calm voice, "Can you talk to me?" I nodded, sitting up straighter with a wince, "Can you tell me everything?"

I closed my eyes for a yawn.

"I just want to know all you can tell me about him." Carlisle explained quietly, "Everything you can think of." I was quiet for a second, "Remember how much you told me before?" I nodded a little, "I need more than that. Let's just go over that again, okay? But give me specific details."

"My mom met Jack six years ago." I started, and he nodded, letting me know that's what he meant, "About. I don't remember exactly how long ago, but I know he's hit me since I've known him. Jack's always hated me. He'd always tell me that he had to. He'd always say how much I deserved it, because I just kept fucking up. After awhile, it was just easier to believe him than to keep wondering what I did."

"Go on." Carlisle urged when I went silent. He slowly sat up straighter, and I knew both he and Charlie were listening to my every word. I glanced to Charlie, but he didn't say anything. I chose to look at Carlisle instead. He was the one I was talking to. Not Charlie.

"They always say that grown-ups shouldn't hit kids." I mumbled, "So I knew that wasn't the way it was supposed to be. What they don't tell you, is how someone like me is supposed to stop it. Not when I'm so small, and not when there's nothing anyone can do."

I paused, knowing he wouldn't urge me again.

"I'm not stupid." I murmured, "I don't care how many times Jack's told me that I am. This isn't easy for me, and even though he says so, I'm not forgetting what he told me would happen if I told. I'm not supposed to be talking about it, and I know I shouldn't be saying anything."

"What did he tell you would happen, Leandra?" Charlie asked this time, and I glanced to him. No matter how much I wished, I couldn't pretend he wasn't here. He seemed particularly interested in that answer, so I sighed.

Here went nothing. It'd be easier to explain what I meant than giving a straight answer.

I took a breath, "He caught a rabbit one day. Out in the woods, when I was like four. I remember it, because he let me pet it." I kept my eyes down, "He let me hold it, and I remember how soft its fur was, and I remember how scared it was. I couldn't blame it, because I always felt the same way when Jack caught me."

They waited, listening.

"He told me that to prove his point, to show me what would happen if I ever told because I was so stupid, the rabbit had to die. I didn't really know what that meant back then, but I just knew it was nothing good." I paused for a breath, "Nothing he ever said meant something good. I told him no, that he didn't have to do that. I didn't want the rabbit to die because I was so stupid. He could show me another way."

The room was silent now, and I didn't dare look at either of them.

"I tried to tell him that he didn't need to do that," I went on, "But he told me it had to happen. That if I was just a little smarter, and wasn't as stupid as I was, he wouldn't have to." I hesitated, "So he killed it. Right there. He made me keep holding it while he took a knife, and he stabbed it in the side of its neck."

No one said a word, listening to me as I paused. The silence seemed longer than it was. Probably due to how busy my mind was.

"He made me watch it. He made me watch it die. He made me hold it while it died, so I could see up close what happened." I took another breath, realizing my voice had gone quiet, "He told me how he'd do the same thing to me if I ever told anyone. He described it. How at any time, I could be that rabbit. Telling me how I should thank him. Every second I kept breathing was another second I should be grateful. I remember that rabbit every day, even without him reminding me."

I was quieter now. For a little longer.

"So." I sighed almost silently, "That's why I never said anything. That's why I lied to Carlisle at first. I was scared."

"And for.." Charlie spoke quieter now, "Very good reason, I'd say." He stopped himself from saying anything more, shaking his head and writing on his stack of papers.

While sitting there, gathering my thoughts, I looked up at Carlisle. If I wasn't sure before, I suddenly was now. There was something about him that made him different than anyone else. Carlisle was different. I couldn't remember what exactly it was, but I couldn't deny that I really, really wanted to. I wanted to remember why he was different.

Vaguely I noticed Charlie look back up. Carlisle gave me a nod, and that was all I needed.

"He hits me." I finally spoke up again, "He beats me. Almost every day, for some reason he makes up. He'll tell me to do something, and when I get done doing it, he'll tell me he told me to do the opposite. He makes up reasons." I glanced over when he moved. He was writing on the third page of that packet of papers he held.

"When you say he beats you..?" Charlie prompted quietly, looking back up. I stood up, and without missing a beat, lifted my shirt over my back. I stayed standing for a several moments, letting him view my entire back. I let my shirt drop, and sat back down.

"He beats you." He understood now, given his tighter tone. Writing that down.

"It was worse before." I mumbled, "I'm always bruised. I almost never see my skin without something wrong with it. He uses stuff, like belts and stuff to hit me with because he found out a long time ago that he can do too much damage with his hands. I'm just too small."

I paused, glancing up to see Charlie's horrified gaze.

"What all does he use, Leandra?" Charlie asked quietly. His tone was soft and calm, even if his expression gave his emotions away.

"Belts, ropes, boards." I shrugged a little, "Whatever he can find." I knew he needed more, so I sighed, thinking harder, "Rocks, and stuff like that, but he prefers his belt. I think because it makes a certain sound and it echoes when it hits me."

I was quiet for a second.

"Um.." I hesitated, "He yells, but that's not really bad, is it?" I looked to Charlie, "The things he yells at me, though, are easy to remember. Especially when he's really mad, because he really means the things he yells at me."

He stayed quiet, and I watched him write that down as well.

"He doesn't feed me, unless it's to get me to do what he wants." I mumbled, "That's probably why I'm so small. He feeds me whenever he wants to. Keeps food from the house, so I don't cheat."

"How long does he starve you for?"

"It depends." I replied, "Most of the time, he won't go longer than three days before he brings me something. Five days if he's irritated at me, and longer if I keep pissing him off. I get what I can from school, but that's not enough sometimes." He nodded again, writing that down, "I've been eating more lately, though." Why did I want to throw that in there?

He looked to me again as he paused his writing. He knew there was more.

I sniffled, hesitating, "He, um.. He locks me in my room. Days at a time. Or he locks me outside. He chains me up outside sometimes, but he hasn't done that for awhile, though." I paused for a heavy sigh, my hands curled up in front of me, between my folded up knees and my stomach, "There's so much he does."

"He chains you up outside?"

"S-Sometimes." I nodded a little, "But he-"

"How?" Charlie asked.

"Well, he wraps one end of a chain around a tree in the backyard, and locks it there. He locks the other end around my neck, and goes back inside." I muttered, "That's how."

"And he just leaves you there?" His tone was still even.

"Once for a couple of hours." I nodded, "I don't remember how old I was then. A couple years ago, it was all night." I looked down, giving a short, humorless laugh.

"How old were you?"

"The last time he did that?" I asked and he nodded, "Five or six. I know it was awhile ago. I'd tried to run away, so he wanted to make sure I'd stay while he worked that night. That was before we had the box, so he couldn't just toss me in that."

"Box?"

"A small tool shed." I clarified, "In the backyard. He locks me in that when I piss him off enough."

He took a deep breath, and began writing again. I gave an apologetic look to Carlisle. I felt bad about revealing all I had so far. He didn't really understand before what I was so afraid of. Sure, I'd told him basics, but this was going beyond that.

I sat there for a few minutes this time, waiting for Charlie to get done writing whatever he was writing. We all sat silently again, and just for something to do, I looked up at Esme beside me. She offered a supportive smile and a small nod. I appreciated that.

"Okay." Charlie sighed, "Continue when you're ready."

How'd he know there was more I hadn't said? I looked back down, my fingers finding the string to the sleeve of my pajama top. Was I going to keep stalling? Probably. Everything else was fine to talk about, but I couldn't talk about this one thing.

"Just the major things, Leandra." Charlie urged, and I shut up for a moment, "That's all I'm looking for specifically right now."

"A-And, uh.." I could barely make my voice work. Charlie waited, and I knew he wouldn't rush me. I had to say it, "Uh.. He.."

This was harder than I thought it'd be. Every time I'd try to speak, to say a word, it'd get stuck, and I'd give up for a second. I'd give up, but then I'd remember that I couldn't give up, and that I had to tell him.

The truth was, what Jack did to me at night was so much worse than beating me. It hurt me, and it hurt me in a different way than the beatings did. I didn't know how it was possible, but by doing what he did, he could hurt me both physically and emotionally. Both at once, and by managing to hurt me both of those ways at once, it hurt me mentally as well. Beating me was only physical, but this. This was so much worse.

By admitting what he did to me, I would be admitting how ashamed I was. By admitting what he did, I just knew Charlie would turn around and blame me. Or laugh. Even if he hadn't done so yet.

The longer I stayed quiet, the more pressure I felt, and eventually, it was too hard. I started to cry. I couldn't do it. I couldn't admit to Charlie what else he did, because by doing that, I'd be admitting my own guilt for not stopping it. I'd be admitting how weak I was, how stupid I was. I couldn't do that.

"You have what you need, right?" I sobbed, looking over at Charlie, "That's it."

"Leandra, he needs to know everything." Carlisle told me, and I looked to him, biting my lip, "Just tell him what you told me."

"I can't." I mumbled, shaking my head, "I can't say it."

"Take your time." Charlie assured me, and I looked to him again, "Nobody's rushing you, honey. If you need a break, take one. I've got all afternoon. All night, if it takes that long."

I sniffled, nodding. I appreciated his patience. More than he knew. I took a breath, letting back out in a sob.

"Charlie, a moment?" Carlisle stood, and I watched after him as he led Charlie from the room. I sobbed there on the couch for just a few seconds.

"Can I have some water?" I asked quietly, looking up at Esme still beside me. Immediately, she stood up.

"Of course." She replied, "I'll be right back."

I watched her leave, before looking around me. Nobody else was in the room, so I saw my opening. As much as water did appeal to me, I couldn't resist this opening.

I stood up with a deep sniffle, heading quickly for the side door. I slipped out, closing the door quietly behind myself. Jumping off the last two steps, I landed on the gravel and headed straight for the trees. As much as landing did hurt my sock-covered feet, I didn't let that slow me down.

"Running away?" Jasper's call from the front of the house had me jump, stopping and spinning to look his direction. He was here? I hadn't been expecting to see him. I waited, unsure how to respond. Would he be mad? He sighed, stepping off the porch to head my direction.

I didn't say anything, waiting for him to tell me how much trouble I was in.

"You shouldn't run, Leandra." He told me once he reached my side, "I know how scared you are, but the longer you put this off, the harder it'll be on you." I took a shaky, emotional breath, "I know."

"No, you don't." I mumbled, looking down. To my surprise, he laughed. I looked back up, confused now. How was that funny?

"You keep underestimating us." He pointed out. He didn't argue with me, though. He sighed, looking around, "I suppose there's no point in trying to force you to tell him everything, but let me tell you this. The more you tell Charlie, the less chance you have of seeing Jack again."

"Or I could just run away." I added quietly, "I'll figure out how to live on my own."

"No, you won't." He replied calmly, "You don't want to do that."

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I asked, looking up at him, "I don't even get it myself. He'll blame me."

He answered, "The same way you told Carlisle. Charlie isn't here to blame you, Leandra. He's here to help you. Just the same way that we are." His voice was so calm, quiet in the way he told me these things. It was odd. As if his confidence was giving me a bit of confidence. That didn't ease my fear any, though.

"But I don't know that." I countered quietly, "I don't know him."

"You don't know us." He reminded me.

"I do." I corrected, "B-But.." I whined, turning to pace. I didn't know how to explain it.

"You're doubting yourself." He pointed out, "Don't."

"How can I not?" I asked, "I don't want someone like him knowing everything."

"Someone like him?" Jasper asked, frowning a little. I was afraid for a moment, remembering when I'd let that same phrase slip to Jack. For a moment, I feared I'd made him mad, but after a moment of only studying me, he didn't seem angry.

A tense, quiet moment passed as I glanced up at him. Until understanding came to his eyes, "You don't trust him because he's male."

I looked down, sliding my hands into my pockets to keep them warm. Shivering in both the chilly afternoon and the intimidation I felt from Charlie inside.

Jasper wasn't wrong, so I wouldn't tell him he was.

I didn't like him, but I knew he wasn't bad. That was a very confusing feeling. I didn't like Charlie because he wanted me to tell him things. Things I never told anyone. Not completely, and it went against everything I'd ever learned to tell him now. I'd never even really had the chance to talk to Jack about it, always fearing his reaction whenever I'd bring it up. How could I tell anyone else?

"I can see this will be a problem." Jasper finally said when I did nothing to deny it, "Leandra, not everyone is out to hurt you."

"I know that." I mumbled, glancing up, "I know you won't. I know Emmett won't. I know the others won't, but I don't know Charlie won't."

"Think about it this way." He suggested, "Do you think Carlisle would let him hurt you?" He had a strong point there. He knew it immediately.

"No." I finally replied, shaking my head, "He wouldn't." I bit my lip.

"Do you think I would let him hurt you?" He asked, and again, I immediately shook my head.

"But I'm still afraid." I muttered, "It's not just that. He's going to blame me for what Jack did, and I don't want that. No matter how hard I try, it won't come out right. There's no right way to say it."

"All you have to do, is tell the truth." He replied, "Don't worry about whether or not Charlie is going to believe you, or blame you. It's not his job to blame you. All he's asking for is the truth. That's all."

I glanced over at the porch, spotting Carlisle and Charlie standing there. Watching us just feet away. Both able to hear us talking. They'd found us. I briefly wondered how much he'd already heard.

I whimpered, looking up at Jasper again.

"I can't." My tears stung my eyes once more, and I knew he saw it, given the way his expression softened ever-so-slightly.

"Why?" He asked patiently, "Why can't you? If you know he's not going to blame you, and if you know you won't be the one in trouble for this, why can't you just tell him everything?"

"Because it'll make it real." I answered shakily, "Whenever it happened, I did everything I could to pretend it was just a bad dream. I did everything I could to just forget everything he made me do. Telling Charlie would just ruin all that."

"What all did he do?" Jasper asked and I gasped a sob. No longer hesitant with him.

"E-Everything." I mumbled incredulously, "At night, he comes in, and.. A-And.." I couldn't say it. Each time I tried, my throat would close. I wanted to be honest, but I couldn't say it. I was really trying. I felt so stupid, standing there trembling roughly. I wasn't hesitant, but it wouldn't come out.

"I can't give suggestions, Leandra." Jasper muttered, "You have to say it. This is one more thing you have to be straightforward with. What do you mean by everything?" I started to catch on. Just like what Carlisle tried to do. It was easier answering him than it would have been to answer Charlie, so I went along with it.

"_Every_thing." I repeated.

"I think I can imagine." Charlie offered from the porch, "I think I can let it slide." I looked to him, grateful, "Would I be right in assuming the worst, Leandra?"

"Yeah." I gasped, struggling back tears, "You'd be right." He shook his head, writing once more on the page. His writing seemed more tense now. Even from where I stood.

"I-It was like.." I continued, looking back to Jasper, "Like he didn't like seeing me, because it was always in the dark. Always when I couldn't see. Always in my room. Always at night. Always in the dark, but I said that already." I paused again, but this time, only to take a breath because my voice started to get too quiet. I knew Charlie had to hear this too.

"He always made me do stuff to him, or just lay still for him." I added, "If I fought, he hit me until I stopped fighting, so I couldn't just not do it. I didn't want to, but.." I sniffled, looking down, "I had to."

"When did it first start?" Jasper asked, his voice quieter. Less firm.

"Officially?" I sniffled, "About three years ago. That's when.. It happened for the first time."

"You were six?" He asked with a breath in, and I nodded.

There was a silence in the yard that squeezed me, made it harder to breathe. I vaguely saw Jasper glance to the porch, but I didn't look up. With the breeze, though, came a sort of comfort. It brought fresh air, rustling the trees across the yard. It made it easier to breathe, to calm down. I took a deep breath, sighing it out.

"Unofficially?" Jasper asked, quieter now.

"Since I met him." I mumbled in reply without missing a beat this time, "It used to be just him getting me use to it, I guess. I didn't know what that was, or what he was doing. It had never really hurt before, just bugged me. Until three years ago. It used to hurt all the time at first, but now I guess I'm used to it. When he's careful, anyway."

He was quiet now, and I didn't interrupt that. I took another breath, calming down even further. There was one thing I had to stress.

"I didn't want to." I mumbled, "I didn't mean to."

"Nobody is blaming you." Jasper assured me, "Nobody." I sniffled, and I nodded. I knew he wasn't lying to me, given the way Charlie looked at me. His gaze wasn't angry, or sickened. Not at me.

Charlie cleared his throat, and looked to Carlisle. Nodding as he turned to go back inside. Bringing his papers with him. I watched after them, reaching up and clearing my hair from my face. I hoped he wouldn't ask me to be any more specific than that. I hoped I wouldn't have to repeat anything I'd just said. Not ever.

I looked up at Jasper, noticing how he looked back down at me. His expression torn into sadness and anger. I wasn't scared, though. I found I trusted Jasper as much as I trusted Carlisle.

I was worn out, though. Like the pressure to explain my side had squeezed me too tightly, and now that a lot of the pressure was off and I could breathe again, I really felt it. I wanted to stay nervous, but I couldn't anymore.

"Did I really just do that?" I had to ask, "I really just told?"

"You did." He confirmed with a nod, "How do you feel?"

"I don't know." I admitted, "Like throwing up and crying at the same time." I wondered if that would tell him anything.

"You did the right thing." He told me, and I gasped a small sob, "Trust me. It was the right thing."

"Then why's it feel wrong?"

"Because what he did was never supposed to happen." He answered easily, "It never should have come to this. All you did just now was right his wrong, and he'll pay for his actions."

"No he won't." I mumbled, "I'll pay for them. I always do, but that's my fault."

"How on Earth is it your fault?"

"It just is." I frowned a little, looking back up at him, "It's just how it's always been. He does what he does, because he can and he knows he can get away with it." I sighed, shaking my head, "I know telling today was a big mistake, but I can't take it back now. Charlie already knows."

"It wasn't a mistake." Jasper replied, "It wasn't. You'll see. After this, it'll get easier."

"Am I really going to stay here?" I asked quietly, and he nodded. I sighed again, "That's hard to believe."

"Why is that?" He asked.

"Because." I shrugged, "That might bother you." He didn't reply at first.

"Why would it bother me?" He finally asked, curious.

"I don't know." I mumbled, "Just a feeling I get."

I glanced upwards, looking at the clouds as they started spitting rain, only gaining a drop on the end of my nose. I sighed, looking back at the house briefly. Honestly, I didn't know how to feel. Letting that secret out, especially to that stranger, wanted to bother me, but all it did was make my stomach hurt. I knew it would probably fully hit me in a little while, but for right then, I stood there numbly.

"I don't want to go back in there."

"You've done so well so far, Leandra." Jasper replied, and I looked to him, "Nobody's expecting too much from you."

"It doesn't feel that way to me." I murmured.

"You're almost done with him." He assured me, "Charlie just has a few more questions, and he'll leave you alone. Then comes the next step."

"Will you come too?" I asked curiously, and he seemed to debate for a moment.

"Sure." He finally said, "Come on." I hesitated just a second, but turned with him, heading back for the house.

"What comes next?" I had to ask, "After Charlie is done asking me things?"

"Your day isn't quite over with, Leandra." Jasper told me, opening the door for me. I waited for him to explain as I stepped inside passed him, "Next, comes the examination."

"What's that?" I had to ask, nervous again.

"That's where you're looked over." He answered, "To make sure you're okay, and to take evidence."

"I don't have any evidence." I replied instantly, "Can I just skip that part?"

"It won't hurt." He assured me, "It would make everyone feel a lot better, and certainly make your case against Jack much stronger. You want it stronger, don't you?"

"I guess so." I admitted, biting my lip.

"A stronger case is a good thing, Leandra." He told me, and I sighed.

"It won't hurt?" I asked quietly, and he shook his head. It was too easy to believe Jasper. Impossible not to.

"It won't." He replied confidently, and I nodded, sighing again.

"Leandra." Charlie spoke once he spotted me inside, "I just have a few more things to ask you." I slowly sat, my eyes on him, "Can you tell me anything about your father? Your mother?"

"My mom left, about a week ago." I answered quietly, bitterly, "I doubt she wants to come back. I wouldn't."

"Do you know where she might be?" He asked, "Her name?"

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, "Do I have to answer you?" He seemed confused, "I don't want her to know I'm okay. I want her to suffer."

"Leandra." Carlisle murmured in quiet correction. I looked down.

"Why should she get the peace-of-mind of knowing I'm alright, when she left me in the first place?" I asked in return, "She could have taken me with her. I hope she thinks I'm dead."

"What about your father?" Charlie prompted, and I shook my head.

"He left me too." I replied, "When I was little. He didn't want me either."

"Leandra-"

"Fuck him." I murmured bitterly, "I hate him."

I was being uncooperative. I was tired, and hurting, and thankfully, Charlie seemed to understand that. He sighed, nodding as he closed the folder in front of him. It wouldn't be that hard for him to figure it out on his own.

"If you find him, hit him for me." I requested, keeping my eyes down.

"Alright, Leandra." Charlie told me with a sigh, "That's it, I suppose." I had a permanent pout on my face, and I hated everything at that moment. If Charlie tried making me live with either of those people, I'd just run away.

"I'll meet you at the hospital." Charlie sighed, standing, "I'd prefer taking in the evidence at once." Carlisle nodded, standing as well.

I laid to the side, tiredly rubbing my eyes and sighing. This was too hard.

"Leandra." Carlisle prompted after a moment, and I glanced up at him, "Come on." He gestured that I get up, but I didn't. Instead I just closed my eyes, turning my face into the couch.

My uncooperative mood tripled three fold, somehow knowing I really didn't want to go through this. Yet again, I started to cry. I was so tired. Still in so much pain. It was all I could do to keep my sobs silent, and just sniffle quietly.

"Leandra?" I looked over at Carlisle's voice now beside the couch, meeting his eyes as he now kneeled, "Can you listen for a moment?" His expression and tone was kind, not annoyed in the slightest like I worried. He was patient, which was new to me.

I had a feeling that no matter how many times I was shown differently or how often I reminded myself, it would take a really long time to figure out that Carlisle wouldn't hit me. Maybe he was right. I was reluctant to trust.

Had I acted like this around Jack, I'd be hauled up off the couch so fast. Had I acted like this around Jack, especially where there was no one to see, he'd slap me around. Yell at me, curse at me. Toss my ass into my room. I normally knew never to act this way, but I couldn't help it this time.

Despite the fact that I knew Carlisle wasn't mad at me, I couldn't help feeling a little nervous. He had to see it, just looking at me and returning my gaze, how scared I was. Not just at how I couldn't help acting this way, but over everything. Everything I'd already said that day, and everything I had a feeling I had yet to go through. I was scared.

"Please, listen." He repeated, and I nodded silently.

"I understand how hard this is on you." He told me, "We all do. Nobody's forgetting that. All we're asking is for you to just be brave for just a little while longer. I know how scared you are. Believe me, I can see it." So he could see it. I couldn't imagine that it would be hard to see.

"The last thing I'd ever want to do is make that worse." He continued gently, "I promise you. There is nowhere safer for you than here, or with me."

"Just a little longer, Leandra." Jasper added from the side.

"Can you do that? Be brave for only a little while longer? I'll be there with you the whole time." That's right. He was a doctor, so he could be there with me. I'd forgotten about that part. I knew enough to know that no one else could be there, so he was my only option.

"I can try." I finally mumbled.

"That's all I'm asking of you, Leandra." He replied. I took a few more seconds to steel my nerves before I forced myself up.

I got dressed, and I had to leave the house with Carlisle. I couldn't help feeling nervous, as part of me knew this wasn't going to be easy. I knew it was going to be hard on me, but I had to try to be brave. I told Carlisle I would, and going back on it now was wrong.

I let him take my hand, glancing up at him. We stepped into the hospital, and I almost resisted, hating the way I grew even more nervous. I had to tell myself what I knew. It'd be okay.

It only took just over an hour, but by the time that hour had passed, I was three times as upset, and twice as tired as I was before.

I was weighed, measured. Questioned thoroughly. Blood was taken, and my bruises were accounted for. Every single one, which was a lot considering how far I'd always had to go to cover them.

I ached now in every single one of those bruises. Probably due to the healing stage I was just beginning, but also because they had to look them over. I was given simple Tylenol for the pain since I refused everything else. It wasn't that part of the exam that upset me so much.

Being completely honest with Charlie only got me one more exam I didn't particularly care for, which involved looking for proof of everything else Jack did. A nurse did that one, though, but it didn't make it any easier. It really was all I could do to keep myself from kicking her in the face.

"I know, sweetie." She'd tell me, "I'm almost done."

She was almost done three 'almost done's ago. I didn't care if she thought I was being brave. I didn't care if she knew how much this was bothering me. I didn't care about what she was looking for down there, or about what she'd found. I just wanted to get up. I wanted it to be over.

Naturally, I cried. Of course I cried. I couldn't help it.

I cried while getting dressed again when she let me, and I cried while storming from the room. Ignoring her calling me back. As far as I cared, she could go straight to hell. I found the closest plastic seat, and curled up on it.

"Leandra, honey." She'd followed me.

"It's alright." Carlisle was there, thankfully. Stopping her in the doorway and keeping her from following me completely.

I'd cooperated as far as I was willing to cooperate. I'd been poked and prodded as much as I was willing to tolerate. Anything more, I'd start fighting back.

"Did you get enough?"

"Oh, I got more than enough." She assured him, handing over a folder, "This girl deserves a medal. She did so well." Even with how I acted? That was a little comforting, at least. I was a little relieved she didn't tell him that I behaved badly.

Carlisle sighed, taking the folder from her. I stopped listening at that point. I didn't want to hear it. Taking a deep breath, I sat there, forcing myself to calm down while Charlie and Carlisle had a few last minute words with each other.

"You're sure about this, Dr. Cullen?" Charlie asked, and I looked up, "Taking in a kid like her isn't going to be easy."

A kid like her? A kid like me? The way he said that bugged me. Maybe that was why they said eavesdropping never paid off.

"I'm quite positive." Carlisle replied, "I think we've got it handled." Charlie sighed.

"Well, alright. If you're sure." He said, "Just fill out that paperwork before tomorrow afternoon, and it should be accepted. I'll tell them that you're applying for her, so there's no confusion or mix-up, and so they know she's taken care of."

"Thank you." Carlisle gave him a nod, "It's appreciated."

I stayed seated stiffly as Charlie sighed, turning to me.

"You're not going to find him." I murmured as he kneeled beside my chair, "I'm telling you that right now."

"Don't you worry about that." He replied, "Let us focus on that, and you just focus on getting better."

"I'm not sick." I corrected with a frown, and he chuckled.

"I mean feeling better." He said, and I sighed. I still didn't get the difference, but I nodded. He gave me another smile and stood up. I watched after him as he walked away. Shaking his head a little.

One thing was for sure. I didn't like cops any more than I did before.

Sighing heavily, I laid my head to the side. Closing my eyes. I was so tired at that point, there was little more I wanted than to just curl up in a ball and sleep for days.

I opened my eyes, looking over at where Carlisle stood. Looking over the folder with all my information in it. Along with copies of the evidence they'd taken from me that day. I was positive that there was now more paperwork on me than there had been my entire life.

Every time I looked at Carlisle, I tried so hard to remember why I trusted him so much, but that was easier to do when I wasn't made to focus on something else. It was the oddest thing, and I couldn't help wondering whether or not my sanity could be trusted, but I needed the answer to that so much, I couldn't just let it go. I couldn't just trust it. I needed a reason.

With a deep sigh and a shake of his head, he closed the folder. I looked down before he could see that I'd been watching him. Whatever was written in there bothered him. I could see that. I figured it would, but I was so used to it, I doubted anything in there would surprise me.

"Am I going to live?" I asked hesitantly, looking over again.

"Everything looks okay." He assured me, "We're just waiting on the test results, but I'm confident those will come back clean. I'm sure you'll be okay."

Damn.

"Am I done now?" I whimpered, unable to help the emotion in my voice, "I just want to be done."

"Yes." He replied, "I think you're done for now. Anything after this would just be routine. Check-ups, immunizations, things like that."

"I don't care about later." I admitted, "Just for today. Can I be done for today?"

"Of course." He murmured, "I'll take you back." I nodded immediately, standing up as quickly as I could.

I was taken home, and the first thing I got was a hug from Alice. I could get used to that. I was still pretty upset, so all the hug did at first was make me cry.

"How did it go?" I hadn't even seen Esme follow Alice over.

"About like that." Carlisle sighed sadly, gesturing to me and my continued cries, "I can't blame her at all. She cooperated fully, for the most part."

"Good job, Leandra." Alice told me, "That's it. You did great."

I couldn't reply if I wanted to.

I was allowed to have some lunch while I calmed down, but I couldn't eat much. Still too upset to want to, but I was assured that I could be left alone now. At least, about Jack for the time being.

There were new, more pressing issues now, apparently, and that was about what I remembered so far of the dream I had.

"I don't." I answered Alice, staring down at my plate of food, "I can't yet." I looked to her, "Why does it matter so much?"

"We just want to be careful." She replied quietly, "I think you know more than you even realize." I was quiet for a moment, "Tell me again. What all do you remember?"

"I woke up." I told her, "And I know there was so much more to it, but all I could remember, was the way I felt, and.." I paused, looking back down, "Well, the color of your eyes. Gold." She was quiet so I frowned, thinking harder, "I remember.. I remember here, but.. I remember being older." She perked up a little, smiling slightly.

"That's new."

"I don't actually remember it. I just remember being surprised when I woke up." I replied, glancing to Esme as she listened in as well, "And trouble." I looked back down, studying my hands on the counter, "I remember.." I paused, thinking hard, "There was so much. It's hard to think about."

"Is there any way you can maybe choose what to remember?" Alice asked, "Maybe instead of the most recent things first, try remembering further back."

"I haven't tried that yet." I admitted, glancing to her. I fell quiet for a minute or two, until I spoke up again, "Josh." I looked to her surprised, "He was there, too. And Zack."

"Where?" She asked, "And who?"

"Josh and Zack. The ones in California?" I prompted and she understood, "Jack's nephews. I remember them. From my dream, I think. Not as much as I remember you, but they're there. It's pretty mixed up. Maybe that's why I can't remember." I paused, "And the one with red eyes."

"Hold on." Alice said, and I looked to her, "Who?" That seemed to mean a lot to her.

"I don't know." I answered, "I haven't seen him yet, but I remember his eyes the most. Like I remembered your eyes, I guess. He's the only one I actually remember any part of what he looks like, but like you guys, I remember how I felt about him. I don't like him."

"I wonder why that is." Esme murmured thoughtfully, "You don't remember anything else about him yet?" I shook my head.

"I'm sure it's nothing." Alice told me thoughtfully, and it went quiet for a second.

"Can I have a cigarette?" I asked, gaining Alice's attention again.

"Definitely not." She replied, calmly but incredulously. I looked down, shrugging a little.

"Just thought I'd ask." I mumbled, scooting a leaf of lettuce around the plate with my fork. Resting the side of my face against my fist, I kept my eyes down.

"Leandra, I don't think you realize just how bad those are for you." Alice spoke again, and again, I shrugged.

"Jack let me." I replied.

"He very obviously didn't care about your welfare." She pointed out, "Things are going to be much different from now on."

"It already is." I mumbled, "I'm allowed to eat here. I'm allowed to sleep, and I haven't been hit yet."

"You never will be." Esme told me before Alice could reply. I smiled a little at her, looking back down.

"What if I really mess up?"

"Even then." She replied.

"I mess up a _lot_." I warned quietly.

She shook her head, "There's nothing you can do to earn treatment like that."

"Do you promise?" I asked quietly, hesitantly hopeful.

"I promise you, sweetheart." She answered immediately, "Nothing. The only thing you can expect here is kindness." I smiled a little at that word, "Patience, and understanding. You have my word on that."

I wanted to believe her. So much.

After lunch, I was allowed to sit in the living room with Jasper and Emmett. They both watched me now and then curiously, probably wondering how the exam part went, but I wasn't up to talking about it. The position I laid in probably told them that.

Right there in the chair, curled up and watching some stupid TV movie, I didn't even realize I was falling asleep. I fought my closing eyes as much as I could, until I couldn't anymore. After the day I'd had, I needed it more than I even fully knew.

"The shorty's growing on me." I woke slightly a bit later to Emmett's quiet voice, "Doesn't seem so bad to have her needing to stay."

"Emmett, human children are a big responsibility." Jasper's reply was quieter, "Especially human children with her sort of past. I don't think you fully realize just what she's been through." The word he used confused me. Human children, versus the easier single word 'children'.

"I was there. I heard all about it, but that was then, and this is now." Emmett replied, and his tone took on more admiration, "Look at her. Isn't she cute?" I frowned a little, adjusting how I laid, "I've always wanted a kid around."

"A past like hers isn't one easily recovered from." Jasper countered, "She's going to have problems."

"We all have problems." Emmett said in return, "She'll feel right at home here. You'll see."

"I'm just giving you a heads up here, Emmett. She's not going to have the same reactions a normal child would." Jasper murmured, "She's going to be more sensitive to different things. It's going to take work to get her through it. Work I'm not sure you're capable of putting forth. You can't play with her the way you could a normal child, you can't tell her the same things you could a normal child."

"I don't care." Emmett responded quickly, "I'll take care of her, then."

"If she'll let you." Jasper murmured, "She may remember you, Emmett, but she's desperately fearful, and with good reason. I can't blame her if she refuses any of our attempts for awhile."

"Why would she?" He asked, "I'm lovable."

"Lovable or not, she's been horribly mistreated." Jasper replied like it was obvious, "For years. That's going to set its mark on her."

"She doesn't have any damn mark set on her." Emmett argued quietly, "She's perfectly fine." I appreciated that.

"I only want you to be careful." He sighed in reply, "You may think you know what you're doing because you know Rose so well, but this is an entirely different situation. Just watch your words and actions carefully until we know her better."

"I'll take care of her, since you're so scared."

"I'm not scared." Jasper sighed, "I'm only concerned, and you should be too." Their bantering back and forth was really starting to bug me.

"I'm more than ready for that sort of responsibility." Esme's voice beside me had me opening my eyes. Rolling over a little, and looking up at her. I hadn't even heard her come into the room. She smiled down at me, "Would you like to take a nap where nobody's talking?" She tossed a disapproving glance toward Emmett, offering her hand.

I couldn't help it. I yawned and nodded. I let her help me to my feet. Sitting up, and scooting to the edge of the chair, I used her help to stand and followed her from the room.

Esme smoothed my hair back softly as I laid back down in the same bed I woke up in this morning, cuddled a pillow to me and closed my eyes. Comforting me greatly. With a soft sigh, I fell asleep almost instantly. I heard her leave the room, closing the door gently behind herself.

Waking up, I was disoriented at first. Pushing myself up with one arm, I looked around myself, dazed. What had woken me up? I didn't remember dreaming, but I felt like I always felt when Jack was around. The near panic, the fear. A sound still echoing in my mind, but I didn't know what sound it was. I was alone in the room.

Sniffling, I climbed out of bed, leaving the room to the smell of dinner cooking. I went into the kitchen, catching Esme's attention, as well as Carlisle's standing there as I rounded the counter and hugged Esme. Surprised, she returned the embrace.

"Are you okay, honey?"

"They won't find him." I shook my head.

"Who?" She asked quietly.

"Jack." I replied, "They're not going to find him." I trembled as I stood there, my arms wrapped around her. Just holding on. They couldn't find him. If they couldn't find him, they couldn't keep me safe.

"I knew this was a bad idea." I whimpered, just loud enough for them to hear.

"No, honey." Esme murmured, "They'll find him. He just wasn't where they looked. That's all it is."

"He's going to come for me." I mumbled, looking up at her, "I'm going to be that bunny."

"No, you're not." Carlisle spoke up this time, "I won't let that happen."

"I'm so scared." I admitted, looking up at him now, "I don't want to die yet. I don't want to die when things are just starting to go right for me."

"And you won't." He told me, and though I started to cry, I couldn't help trying to believe him. I trembled where I stood, looking around me.

"I don't want him to hurt you, either." I mumbled, looking back up at him, "He will."

"I'd love to see him try." I looked back at Emmett's voice on his way from the living room, "He's not getting anywhere near you while I'm around, shorty."

My tears finally started to fall. Esme embraced me tighter, which I returned. Unable to help it. I really didn't want to die yet, but I also really didn't want them to get hurt trying to protect me.

Heather's words the other day came back to me. Jack held onto people. No matter what, no matter the consequences. He was dangerous to more than just me. Jack destroyed lives. He got his way, no matter what it took. No matter who he had to walk over to get it. No doubt he knew I'd told. I had no doubt in my mind he knew all about what I'd done today. By telling, I'd just placed everyone here in direct danger too.

I cried into Esme's side, shaking my head. Why couldn't I have considered that before? The chance I'd been given for just a little bit of comfort must have been too tempting.

I was such a selfish person.

Despite the fact that I did put up a tiny fight this time around, I just told them everything. I gave it all up, in hopes they could help me, but I highly doubted they wanted to sign on for this kind of trouble.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed, shaking my head again, "I'm so sorry."

**A/N: This one took me a little while. I think it was because of the word count. I kept making myself stop, but it needed more lol  
>Other than how ridiculously long this chapter was, I hope you enjoyed it. <strong>  
><strong>THANK YOU to those that reviewed last chapter! :D They definitely made my day better.<strong>  
><strong>Chapter twelve may take a little more time than the last few. It's still only half done, but I'll be working on it. :)<strong>  
><strong>Until Twelve, my awesome friends! :D<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

That guilt never eased.

Though I'd already been here exactly one day, and I did start to realize that this was more than just some wishful dream, that guilt never eased. I tried to warn them, but each time I brought it up, they assured me I had nothing to worry about.

I did. I had plenty to worry about, but I found I was more worried about them than I was about myself.

"I know you probably don't believe me." I mumbled during dinner the following day, "But Heather knows what I'm talking about."

"Who is Heather?" Esme asked. She hadn't been in the room when I mentioned her before.

"Heather is Jack's sister." I replied, "She tried to help me while I was there." I took a breath, hesitating for a second, "I wonder if she knows I'm okay."

"I could let her know if you wanted me to." Esme offered, and I looked up.

"Could you?" I asked, my tone hopeful, "She lives in Forks, so it wouldn't be that hard. I don't know her last name, though."

"I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to figure out." Esme assured me, "If she lives here in town, there can't be that many here."

"I wonder," Carlisle spoke up, and I looked over at him, "If it could be the same Heather that works at the hospital."

That would be a pretty neat coincidence. It would definitely make sense for her to take the blame for having Carlisle's card.

"She never mentioned anything about her job." I admitted, "But she did seem surprised that I knew you. Like she knew you, too."

"How funny." Esme smiled, "Such a small world."

"Yeah." I agreed, but I didn't want to hope that it was her.

"I'll definitely look into it for you." He told me, and I nodded a little.

"Thank you." I appreciated his promise. It would be great if it was that easy to find her again. I knew she wanted to keep me from disappearing again, so it would probably be a relief to her too.

I had to admit that it was pretty sad that I wanted Heather to know I was okay, when I hoped my own mom thought I was dead. Even I knew that. I couldn't help it, though. I liked Heather. I didn't remember a time when I ever did like my mom. Sure, I cared about her, but I didn't like her. Those were two completely different things.

"She's the one there that told me I had an opportunity." I explained, "That I shouldn't waste it. She even tried to take the blame for giving me the card. It didn't do much, but she offered. That was plenty."

"That certainly sounds like the Heather I know." He nodded a little, thoughtful now, "She's always been very selfless and a genuinely caring person."

"She knew my parents." I just wanted to keep adding stuff, "She knew my mom and dad, before Jack came along and smashed that all to pieces. She knew me when I was a baby. I guess I used to play with her boys at the park. I don't remember anything about it, but she told me about it." I sighed, "I just don't want her to think I'm still out there somewhere, fending for myself. She's too nice of a person to have to worry about someone like me."

That obviously made Carlisle really curious, as he reached over and pulled his cell phone from his pocket. I couldn't help watching him as he dialed a number. Nibbling on a carrot, I watched closely.

He requested the hospital's Heather's number.

He obviously had better memory than I did, because he didn't even have to write it down. After a brief conversation with whoever he'd called, apparently being told that their Heather was on vacation until the following day, he hung up and dialed a new number.

I was pretty confident at that point that it was her, but I didn't want to hope. I didn't look down this time as he noticed me watching him. Too distracted.

I listened to the one-sided conversation as closely I could. I couldn't hear the other end, so I couldn't tell if her voice was the same or not. Carlisle kept it brief, though, quickly moving on to what he wanted to say. I grew more interested as he mentioned my name.

"I won't keep you." Carlisle told her, "But I just have one question. Just out of a certain amount of curiosity. Do you, by any chance, know someone by the name of Leandra?"

He paused, nodding a little. I wished he would give me some sort of hint about what she said. The suspense was killing me over here.

"I see." He nodded again, and I sighed, looking at my plate. Disappointed already, until he spoke again, "Well, she requested that I let you know that she's okay." I turned again, smiling a little over at him. It _was_ her. He continued, "She seemed concerned, so I thought I'd try, on the off chance that it was you."

He paused, nodding again.

"Yes, she's fine." Carlisle assured her after a minute, "She gave me a call, and I picked her up. It seems she'll be staying here for awhile, but I must ask that you keep that between us." He nodded again, as she must have agreed. Pausing for a moment before answering her, "Of course I can. I'll fill you in tomorrow, if that's alright with Leandra." I nodded, giving him my approval. He gave me a nod in return, acknowledging my nod, "You're quite welcome."

I looked to Esme now, my small smile still in place.

"How cool is that?" I had to ask. It was so funny.

"I'd say it's very cool." Esme replied, a smile of her own in place.

"Small towns." I muttered, "Everybody knows everybody." She laughed, and I added a small laugh to hers.

I'd probably just smiled more than I ever did here. I hadn't felt the need to, but somehow wanting to help Heather out a little, and ease her mind made me smile. Just the thought that Heather knew I was okay helped me feel a little better about what I'd done by calling Carlisle. My decision became a little easier to accept.

With that knowledge out of the way, I felt better enough to eat a little more than I was used to. Oddly enough. I didn't even know that had been bothering me. Carlisle was going to see her tomorrow. I wondered if there was any way I could get him to bring me along.

That problem solved itself that night while I'd be attempting to sleep. Cursing, I darted from my room, across the hall, into the bathroom.

For the third time in less than twelve hours, my nose dripped blood. Out of the blue, usually accompanied by a slight ache in my head. Not too much, but enough to spend minutes trying to stop. How was I supposed to get any sleep at all tonight if it kept doing this?

"Leandra?" Esme was at the door, "Honey, are you okay?"

"Uh-huh." I mumbled around the wad of toilet paper held to my face.

"Are you sure?" She pressed, not sounding at all convinced.

"Yeah." I replied. I didn't want to let on that anything at all was wrong. The last thing I needed was for them to worry. They'd already worried enough about me the last three days. I knew why she was worried, however. I was supposed to be sleeping.

Holding my head back, I grabbed another handful of toilet paper. Sighing.

"Do you want me to get Carlisle?" Esme asked from the other side of the door.

"No." I answered, "No, I'm fine. I'll be out in a minute." Wouldn't that be fitting? I could definitely do without any more examinations.

I didn't want to be in here too long, knowing she was probably waiting on the other side of the door, so I rushed it a little. Stepping out too early. I hardly had time to notice Carlisle was there anyway, having replaced Esme, when I clearly felt the blood flow restart.

"Dammit." I muttered, catching it in my hand and turning back around. This time, however, Carlisle followed me in.

"What happened?" He asked, turning me around and pulling my hand away.

"Nothing." I replied, surprised, "It just happened."

At his instruction, I sat straight on the side of the tub, and he corrected me. Apparently, holding my head back was wrong.

"Forward." He instructed, "Putting your head back doesn't help, and could make you sick." I did as he told me, letting him gently pinch my nose closed. I hadn't been doing that.

I sat like that for several minutes. I was embarrassed, but not enough to refuse his help. I just wanted it to stop.

"Am I going to die?" I mumbled around his hand, and he seemed to find that amusing. I did a little too, smiling a little along with him.

"No." He said, "You should be fine. Just a few more minutes. It looks worse than it really is."

Since my head wasn't back, the blood that still managed to flow filled my mouth, instead of letting me swallow it, so I had to spit it out into the toilet paper. It happened less frequently now, and soon stopped altogether. For a couple of minutes passed that point, Carlisle still held my nose.

"Okay." He sighed, slowly releasing me, "That should solve it." I slowly raised my head, sighing, "What caused this?"

"I don't know." I answered again, gently wiping off my upper lip, "It just started."

"Are you dizzy at all?" He asked, "Any unusual pain? Headaches? Pressure?"

"No." I replied, "I'm fine. Annoyed, but I'm fine."

"Why are you annoyed?"

"I'm not used to nosebleeds that keep coming." I responded, balling up the bloody bunch of toilet paper, "And definitely not on their own. I mean, I get.. Or used to get them a lot. Especially when Jack would hit me too hard, but I've never gotten any on my own before." I sighed, "And I'm tired. I want to go to sleep, but I don't want to bleed all over the pillow, either."

"Well, I want you to sit upright for at least an hour." He instructed, "Keep your head above your heart. We'll see if it comes back, and if not, then you can go ahead and go to bed, okay?" I nodded, "If it does, then we'll see what else we can try." I nodded again as he stood up.

It felt strange being taken care of like this. It was one thing when he was driving across two states to rescue me from a dark alley, but this was different. This was a little thing. Some minor thing that he helped me with. It was strange to me to be given instructions like this on how to help me, instead of told what to do and hurt in the long run. It was different.

Somehow, this meant just as much to me as the big things.

As it turned out, I was fine. The reason it came back the first two times was because I never stopped it the right way. Go figure. Sitting upright on the couch, my chin resting in my palm, I watched TV with Emmett on the other end of the couch. Yawning almost continuously.

"Aren't most kids your age dying to stay up all night?" Emmett asked, noticing my yawns.

"I don't know." I mumbled, shyly glancing at him, "I just know I'm tired." He was okay, but I was always surprised when I replied to whatever he said.

"Right." He said, "Busy day."

"Yeah." I agreed quietly.

"Tomorrow, you'll want to stay up all night." He suggested, and I glanced to him.

"Probably not." I replied, "Why?"

"I want a friend." He grinned, and I shook my head, looking back to the TV.

"Do you ever sleep?" I asked, "Staying up all night isn't all it's hyped up to be. I like to sleep."

"Sure it is." He reasoned, "When you stay up for the right reasons."

"There are right reasons?" I asked skeptically, "Like what? Watching some boring old movie?"

"Sure." He said, "Nothing wrong with an old movie."

"I guess not." I mumbled. I hoped I hadn't offended him somehow. I sighed, "I haven't watched many movies."

"You haven't?" He asked, surprised.

"Nope." I replied quietly, "I don't watch the TV at my house." He was quiet for a second.

"Um." He spoke up again, "Yes you do. It's right there, and you're watching it, silly." I was confused for a second, until I understood what he was getting at, "And you happen to be talking to the movie expert, shorty. I'll show you all the best ones." I smiled a little.

"Tomorrow, though." I suggested and he nodded.

"Oh, definitely." He said, "There's plenty of time." I looked up as Carlisle stepped into the room.

"How are you doing?" He asked, sitting in the chair closest to where I sat.

"It's still gone." I replied quietly, "Can I go to sleep now?"

"Eager to get away from me, I see." Emmett sniffed, "I see how it is. Here I was thinking we were getting along, but I guess I was wrong." I was surprised at first. I had offended him. For some reason, that thought really bothered me. I didn't want to offend him, but I was really tired. I couldn't stay up all night like he did.

"I-I.. Well, no, but.." I looked his direction now. Really not sure how to reply, "I mean.. I-I'm just-"

"Calm down, shorty." He chuckled, "I was just playing with you." I whimpered, seconds from tears.

"Try not to cry, Leandra." Carlisle could see how upset I was, "That would be the opposite of helpful right now." He gave Emmett a glance, but didn't say anything to scold him. That wouldn't be helpful either. I'd feel worse. I struggled, but managed not to by taking a deep breath. I just felt so bad. Emmett laughed, surprised as he watched me.

"Aw, shorty." Emmett said, the chuckle still in his voice, "I'm sorry."

When I was calmer, Carlisle checked the inside of my nose, which was quite humiliating, and he checked my eyes with a bright little light. He must have seen something right, because he sighed and nodded.

"You're okay." He said, standing along with me, "Just let me know if it comes back, okay? I need to know these things. I'd like to take you back in tomorrow morning as well. In case there was something I missed during the exams today."

"Back to the hospital?" I asked.

"I know you don't like it there." He replied, "I'm sorry, but in this case, it's really better to be safe than to be sorry."

"Okay." I agreed quietly. I didn't mind so much, knowing I was only going to get one thing checked out. It made it better knowing what I was going for, too. I could be cooperative. When I wasn't guarding my life, I was actually pretty laid back and easy to deal with.

If I hadn't felt it before, I definitely felt it now. He was actually concerned about me. He actually cared whether I was comfortable or hurt, or if I was okay. That was both a nice, and a tough realization to have. It confused me, and whatever confused me, I didn't quite like.

"Get some rest, shorty." Emmett smiled, and I nodded a little, resisting the urge to sniffle.

"Good night." I mumbled, unable to make my voice any stronger.

"Good night." Carlisle responded quietly. Emmett echoing him.

Heading back into my room, I gave one more glance behind me. Still quite confused, but I chose not to focus too much on that. It was one thing to know Carlisle wouldn't hurt me, but this was different. To know he actually cared one way or another was something I couldn't figure out how to feel about.

I climbed back into bed, sitting up for a few minutes. Wishing I could understand it.

I wasn't stupid. I wasn't. There were a lot of things I knew that other kids didn't know, but I was quickly finding out that there were also a lot of things I didn't understand. Things I obviously still had to learn. Like how to get used to kindness, or someone actually wanting to be around me. I had to learn how not to be alone. How to let someone help me.

How to just step back, and let someone else handle everything for once. I'd already done that, but I hadn't quite gotten it down yet. I'd been on my own for so long, it was a tough concept to grasp.

I had to learn how to let someone worry about me for once, without questioning their every motive for doing so.

I was actually glad I was going with him the next morning. I wanted to see Heather, too. I wanted to see her, to see proof of what Carlisle had done for me. Weirdly enough, I wanted it to prove itself, his gesture. Without even really knowing it, I was testing him and his sincerity.

Why I'd consider to test him, I didn't know. I knew for a fact that Carlisle wasn't anything like Jack, but how many times had I been wrong in the past? How many times had I been let down by those too busy to look? Now that someone had looked, and I couldn't take it back, why was I considering letting myself trust him?

He'd already gone through so much just for me. Someone worthless. He crossed two state lines just to pick me up. He made sure I was okay. He was allowing me to stay here. Gift thing or not, that was still a big thing to me. He'd supported me, helped me so much already, and continued to do so. He'd done more for me than any one of the ones around here, including Alice. So why did I continue to distrust him?

Laying down, I closed my eyes, and I let myself fall asleep to that question.

I woke the following morning, without a hint of the nosebleed's return. Thankfully, but Carlisle still wanted to bring me with him. Just to be safe. I didn't complain, remembering what he'd done for me yesterday.

Esme came along with us this time, just to give me someone else to keep me company, no doubt, while we waited.

I saw Heather before she saw me, and sure enough, I recognized her long dark brown hair instantly. I tried not to get too excited, but part of me wanted to.

I wanted her to know that I'd taken her advice, and that I didn't chicken out this time. I wanted her to know what I'd accomplished. I wanted her to know what I'd done.

"That's her." I told Esme, and she followed my gaze to the only nurse standing there, looking over a rather large folder. I smiled up at Esme, and she returned it. Heather caught sight of us about that time, and the second she recognized me, she smiled as well. She laid the thick folder on the counter, stopping to talk to another nurse who nodded, before she started our direction.

I wasn't expecting the tight hug she immediately pulled me into, but it wasn't bad.

"Look at you." She laughed, finally releasing me as I looked up at her, "Do you know how bad you scared me?"

"Sorry." I replied, "I wasn't exactly thinking about filling everyone in."

"No kidding." She laughed humorlessly, shaking her head with a sigh, "Do you know how dangerous that was?" Again with the questions.

"I didn't care." I shook my head, "If I didn't get away then, I never would have. You said yourself, remember?"

"I remember." She nodded a little, "I just had no idea what was going on. I didn't know if you had a way to call anyone, or what. When we couldn't find you, Leandra, that scared me so much."

"I'm good at hiding." I admitted. I glanced up as Carlisle turned to us again, giving Heather a friendly smile.

"Dr. Cullen." Heather returned his smile, "You're amazing. I can't thank you enough for helping her like this."

From there, we were all taken into a separate room. Just to talk with more privacy, where Carlisle could fill her in.

She nodded, listening close to his explanation, and his list of what steps had already been taken. She understood all the medical stuff better than I did. I was lost when it came to that stuff, so I just slowly smoothed my hands over the wooden table top.

"I see." Heather finally nodded, sighing heavily, "Had I known all this, I'd have killed him then. My God."

"It's been pretty difficult on her." Carlisle agreed, "I won't lie, but I am happy to say that she managed to cooperate more than needed."

"I'm glad." Heather nodded again, "I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen. I can't-"

He spoke up, "Please, call me Carlisle."

She smiled a little and nodded, "I'm sorry, Carlisle. I can't tell you where my brother has gone. I don't know. None of us do. I've had contact with my father once since we got back the other morning, but that was brief and he never mentioned a word about any of this or where he was. For all I know, he's gone too. I wouldn't doubt in the least that they both have ways of falling off the face of the Earth, and would use those ways in a heartbeat, but if I knew, I'd turn them both in just as quick."

"I know." He replied, "I only wish we'd managed to keep track of them."

"You mentioned something about her refusing to go to the police there?" She asked, and he nodded.

"I didn't want to." I answered this time, and she looked to me, "I stayed put until Carlisle showed up."

"You made the right choice, Leandra." Heather told me, "My father has been very close friends with half the force for a long time now. They'd have given him a call immediately, no matter what your excuse was." I whimpered, shuddering at the thought, "That's the first thing he did, was call them. Telling them to keep an eye out for you. I didn't find it odd then, because I'd have done the same thing. A city that large, you need all the eyes you can get."

"What did he say?" I asked quietly, "What did he tell you?"

"He told me that you just suddenly freaked out on him." She replied, "Even went so far as to show us the bite mark you'd given him." She laughed a little, "You sure got him good. Knowing him, though, I knew that was a lie right away, but I couldn't get him to answer me truthfully."

"He won't." I mumbled, shaking my head, "He won't answer you truthfully."

"Why not?"

"Because he probably doesn't want to die." I recalled her threats to him easily, and that seemed like a pretty good reason to hide the truth from her.

"Did he..?" Her tone had hardened. At first, I didn't understand, but her eyes told me what she was thinking.

"Oh. No." I shook my head, "He didn't have the chance to." I could see now that I'd just changed her entire view of that day, "All he really did was hit me. I'm fine, though."

"He'd better be glad I don't know where he's at." She said through a deep breath, "He's one lucky son-of-a-"

"He makes his own luck." I muttered, carefully leaning back in the chair, "So does Jack." She sighed, obviously trying to calm down.

"What really happened?" She asked me, trying to meet my eyes, "What made you run away like that?" I glanced to Carlisle, and he nodded. I was allowed to tell her this part.

"I didn't get a chance to tell you before." I replied, "I was going to. The day I got back, the first day you talked to me. I didn't get a chance to, before Jack came back inside and Josh freaked you out by telling on me like that."

She smiled a little, "I was only worried. You don't want to risk that, Leandra."

"I know." I shrugged a little, "But I didn't want to change shirts." I took a breath, "Anyway, the reason Jack brought me there at all, was so that he could leave me there. With Ken." Her expression hardened, but fell at the same time. Disbelief and anger hidden in her eyes. I continued, "He was going to go back home, but leave me there. Because I was noticed, he wanted to hide me, I guess."

"With him?" She asked, and I nodded, "You've got to be kidding me. Leaving you there with our father would be unspeakably cruel. Even for him, and he knows it. Jack knows what he's like just as much as I do."

"I ran that day, because I knew I couldn't stay there." I continued, "I wouldn't stay there. Not with him."

"I don't blame you." She replied instantly, "Not one bit. Dammit, Jack.." She sighed, trailing off before she took a breath, "I knew there was something going on in that head of his. I knew it."

"There always is." I agreed.

"Well," She murmured, "The point is, you're safe now." I nodded, agreeing with her, "You're staying with them, right?"

"She is." Carlisle confirmed, "So far, there hasn't been much luck contacting her mother or her father. I'm hesitantly hoping that doesn't improve, to be honest."

"I can't say I blame you much." Heather replied sadly, "Gina.. I don't even know where to begin wondering what happened there. Granted, I didn't know her as well as I knew Chris, so I can't say if that was a normal thing for her or not.

"Chris, though, he's what confuses me. The Chris I knew would never have just up and left Leandra like that, but I can't say it surprises me. I have no doubts Jack was behind every inch of that whole situation."

She paused for a breath, "If I do hear from either my brother or my dad, though, I'll be sure to let you know. I'll do my best, but no promises that they'll even bother talking to me."

"I understand." Carlisle replied, "It is appreciated, though."

She sighed again, and I sensed she was about to leave.

"Heather?" I spoke up, and she looked to me, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, honey." She replied, "What's up?"

"You know what they're like.." I muttered, "Right?" Her expression hardened a little, so I knew she knew what I meant.

"Yeah." She finally replied, looking down, "I.. Completely understand." She was afraid. I knew that tone. Those muted, quiet words, but loud with meaning. Had I scared her with just one question?

"I only asked," I added, hoping to fix it, "Because I don't think Carlisle and Esme believe me." Heather looked back up.

"Well," She sighed, "I can't say much on all of that, but I can say this." She looked to Esme, "Whatever she's told you about my brother or my father, you really should listen. Guaranteed, she's not making a word of it up or exaggerating. I'd just.." She took a breath, shaking her head a little, "Be careful. They're both pretty resourceful."

I wasn't entirely sure what she meant by that, but I had a feeling.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that." Carlisle assured her, "I'm confident that won't be an issue."

Heather gave him a nod, and she looked to me again, "I can't tell you how happy I am that you got away, sweetie. You'll be okay now."

I nodded again, thanking her silently. There was still more I wanted to ask, but I had feeling she didn't want to answer me with others around. I could understand that.

She had to get back to work by then, and I needed to get checked out more thoroughly, so we had to go our separate ways, but at least she knew where to go to get an update on me if she wanted to. I felt better about that.

Apparently, I was fine. Physically, there was no reason behind the nosebleed-from-hell the night before, so I was brought home before lunch. I followed Esme back into the house, but waited for Carlisle.

"Thank you." I said, looking up at him, "For talking to Heather for me." It was definitely something he didn't have to do, and I wanted him to know how appreciative I was.

"You're very welcome, Leandra." Carlisle replied as Esme headed forward to start lunch. Having pretty much skipped breakfast, my stomach was learning again to start telling me I was supposed to have eaten by then.

Normally, I was full and could make it comfortably through an entire day without eating before my stomach even bothered to complain. With eating more often, it was getting pissed faster. Suddenly, Esme's smaller portions for me were starting to make sense. Instead of letting me pack myself full of food to last a week, it was teaching me how to get hungry at certain times.

When would I stop being surprised that they knew what they were doing?

"How long have you known her?" I asked, curious.

"She was working there before we moved here." He answered, "She's always been very kind." I smiled a little. I knew she was a good person. Though I did have my doubts at first, purely for the fact that she was related to Jack, but it didn't take me long to warm up to her.

"It's hard to believe she came from that family." I muttered, shaking my head a little, "She's not at all like either of them."

"It doesn't surprise me."

"It doesn't?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"It's true," He said, "I don't know her past, but sometimes, being raised around that amount of violence can change a person for the better instead of for the worse. Heather has seen what suffering can do to a person, and only wants to help any way she can."

"How do you think it changed me?" I asked, even more curious now.

"I have no doubt in my mind, Leandra, that you're a good person." He assured me.

"Even though I'm still confused all the time?"

"Being cautious does not make you a bad person." He replied, "Your reactions are yours, and given the unique situation, completely justified. I've already noticed an improvement." I sure hadn't yet. Maybe he took me actually talking to him to be an improvement. I wasn't so sure, but I wanted to believe him.

I was calm for right then, but that changed in an instant.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed someone standing behind me, and there was no waiting to control my reaction. I jumped forward with a squeak, diving for the safe spot behind Carlisle. Before I'd even made it fully behind him, Emmett was trying to calm me down.

"Whoa, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "Calm down."

"It's alright, Leandra." Carlisle's sigh relieved my panic enough to let me start crying.

My heart beat too quickly, only fueling my tears. I felt so stupid for crying, yet again, but I couldn't help it. I hated being taken off guard like that. I was usually very good at knowing when someone was around me, but I had not expected Emmett to be there.

"I did not mean to make her cry this time." Emmett defended himself, "I'm sorry, shorty. I didn't mean to scare you."

I couldn't move yet. Looking up through tears, I could see that Carlisle had turned a little, looking at me in concern, but he allowed me to stay there. Allowing me to hide in my ebbing panic, and increasing shame.

I struggled to get my tears under control. I hated how I had so much to be scared of, and I proved it repeatedly. How just someone standing behind me without my knowledge could throw me into panic like this. Limb-numbing, sob-inducing fight or flight panic that took me awhile to recover from.

I just wanted to not be so scared all the time. That's all I wanted.

Maybe I just needed a little bit of time alone. To reset myself, and adjust a little to being here. That seemed like an impossible thing, given how many people were here. I always found I did a little better with time to myself. I definitely wasn't used to all this interaction.

Maybe that's what was messing me up?

I'd been hidden away all my life, and suddenly, I was being stuck around so many people all at once with hardly any time to myself. Being guarded for so long, trying to understand these new people and where I stood prevented me from adjusting to the house itself.

That was probably why I was always so upset. The problem I found, though, was how to go about telling them that, without seeming ungrateful or rude. I wasn't ungrateful. Not in the least, but I couldn't adjust without some sort of time alone.

"What happened?" Esme's attention had been taken, and I glanced over briefly as she made it to my side.

"I stood in the wrong place." Emmett admitted, and I only felt worse. It wasn't his fault. I didn't blame him.

It actually took me a moment to completely realize where I'd gone for safety. Without any thought at all, I'd sought shelter behind Carlisle. I knew for a fact that I'd be thinking about that a lot later on, but for right then, I filed it away. Just to focus on calming down.

Looking over, I noticed that Esme had kneeled down, and was trying to get me to come out from behind him. How long had she been kneeling there? I could suddenly move again, and accepted her hug easily.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered into her shoulder.

"Don't be." She replied gently, "No, it's not your fault."

"What happened?" Even Alice had overheard, and come to look.

"She was startled." Esme explained, "She's okay."

Weren't they supposed to be in school? What were they even doing home? That was probably why I was startled. I wasn't even expecting them to be here. She and Jasper stood a little ways behind Emmett, watching with just as much concern.

I hid my still crying eyes in Esme's shoulder, embarrassed beyond belief.

"What did I tell you?" Jasper was irritated at Emmett. I could hear it in his voice.

"It's not his fault." I immediately said, "Don't be mad at him."

"Jasper's gonna be mad anyway." Emmett replied, "He's not very happy. I guess it bothers him if I scare you, shorty. Who knew?" The look on his face had me cough out a laugh around my crying, which was strange for me. I'd never done that before. I still held onto Esme, but I found it a lot easier to calm down this way.

Thankfully, these sudden and continuing tears didn't restart my nosebleed from the night before. Carlisle really knew what he was doing.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett said, "Come sit with me. If you're there, Jasper won't kick my butt." I felt better enough to agree, so I sighed, stepping away from Esme.

"What about later?" I asked, "If I'm not around?"

"We'll worry about that later." He suggested, and I shrugged. I had to admit. I felt a little more important, being the one that prevented Jasper being too mad at Emmett. Even if he was a little unnerving, Emmett wasn't that bad of a guy, and it was definitely something to have a big guy like him want me around for his own protection. Even if I was just a small shield to him. A pebble.

"That was some noise you made, shorty." Emmett chuckled as he let me lead the way into the living room. He followed slowly, taking his time.

"I know." I mumbled, "I do that sometimes when I'm scared." To my surprise, Rosalie was sitting in the living room, waiting for our return. I came back to the question. Why weren't they in school? It was a school day, wasn't it?

Emmett was so casual about everything. Like nothing ever bothered him. He could bring up an embarrassing subject like a noise I made like it was nothing. I admired it.

I hesitantly accepted the seat beside Emmett, so I was stuck between where he sat, and where Jasper decided to sit. Just that was enough to only heighten that sense of importance, and I took my job seriously.

"What are you doing, Emmett?" Jasper asked as Emmett seated me beside him, and his tone also told me he still wasn't very happy. At least he wasn't as irritated anymore.

"She's protecting me." Emmett grinned in return, "Aren't you, shorty?"

"I guess so." I replied quietly, "Not sure how good I am, but I can always try."

"I think it's nice." Alice commented from where she perched on the armrest beside Jasper. That seemed to prevent Jasper from commenting any further, and I did see the tiny hint of a smile on his face as he shook his head and turned his attention to the TV.

"I'm really sorry I scared you." Emmett chuckled down at me, and I shrugged. Sighing a little.

"It's okay." I looked down, "It's not hard to scare me."

"Nah, you're tough for a ten-year-old." He told me, and I had to look back up.

"I'm nine." I shook my head a little.

"See, I already forgot you were so young." He pointed out, "That's how tough you are, mighty mouse."

"I don't think I am." I mumbled, "I'm anything but tough."

"I beg to differ." Jasper spoke up again, and I looked to him.

"Huh?" I asked. I'd never heard that saying before, and it confused me.

"It means that I don't agree with you." He explained, "Because you're wrong." I sighed, not really wanting to argue with him, so I just shrugged.

It was quiet now as I focused on the TV, and what was on it. Over time, I became less tense, and I found it easier to relax. With nothing else really planned for the day that I knew of, nothing to really dread, I found it even easier.

Emmett seemed determined to get me to like him. Reaching over, he took my hand, and after just a few minutes of being uncomfortable, it didn't bother me anymore. I held onto his hand now, frowning a little.

"Esme!" Alice seemed particularly excited over something as she jumped up from her spot before I could mention what I wanted to mention. I watched after her, watching her leave the room.

I shook my head, shaking it off. Maybe she just suddenly remembered something she needed to talk to her about. Though I was curious, I didn't think to ask. Instead, I looked back down at Emmett's hand in mine.

"Your hand's so cold." I mumbled, trying to wrap both of my hands around Emmett's. Just to warm it up. I didn't cover much area.

"Yeah?" He asked, looking over, "Well, yours is warm." His tone was joking as he turned my own statement around on me. I was starting to learn how to tell the difference.

"I'm just saying." I laughed a little, unable to help it, "Why is your hand so cold?"

"I don't know." He replied, "Maybe there's something wrong with me?"

"No." I said immediately, "You'd know it, and besides. Everyone else's feel the same way."

"Interesting." He murmured, smiling over at Jasper.

"Maybe there's something wrong with me?" I asked quietly, frowning a little. I thought about the way Jack's hands always seemed to burn me. Too warm, compared to Emmett's hand, which was freezing. Oddly enough, I found that comforting. I never had much contact with people in general, but every single one I did have contact with was warm, but I also hated all of them. I didn't hate Emmett, or Alice or anyone else around here. Maybe my mind just sort of made up the difference?

"There's nothing wrong with you, shorty." Emmett replied, "Nothing at all. You're perfect." I'd never heard that part before.

I didn't agree with him, but I didn't argue. There had to be something wrong with me if I was the only one with a different temperature. I knew there really was something wrong with me, but I didn't think it had anything to do with my temperature being different than everyone else's.

I didn't have much time to concentrate on that, as Alice came back in.

"There's a storm coming in." She grinned, and even if I didn't really understand, everyone else did. Emmett's instant grin told me that was good news. I was confused for a moment. Why would even more rain be reason to be so excited?

"I don't like the rain that much." I mumbled, "Is that a good thing?"

"I really don't know." Jasper was talking to Alice now, "Is that wise? Right now?"

"Bring the shorty with us." Emmett waved it off, "Maybe it'll jog her memory." He poked my head lightly, and I looked up at him.

"That's definitely not happening, Emmett." Alice declined this time, "And I think she'll be fine here by herself for a little while. Besides. It wouldn't be until tomorrow anyway."

"Oh." I perked up, that catching my attention, "Yeah. I'll be alright if you guys have to go somewhere." That's what I needed! I couldn't help agreeing with her. I needed this. I barely managed to hold myself back from begging them to go without me.

"Okay, I don't trust that eager face one bit." Emmett muttered after a moment, and I looked down, "I don't think we should leave her here alone."

"It's not like that." I replied, looking to him, "I'm saying I'll be alright. I won't touch anything or anything. I'm just saying that you don't have to worry about me."

He didn't seem convinced so I sighed, disappointed now. Laying back a little too roughly, which was a massive mistake. I was normally very careful, but this time, I wasn't. My back landing too roughly against the back of the couch, and I gave a quiet gasp. Wincing heavily and squeezing my eyes shut briefly.

"Ow." I whimpered, forcing myself to sit up again.

"You okay, shorty?" Emmett noticed that.

"No." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down. I took a deep breath, deciding to just explain, but where should I start? I leaned forward, to a more neutral, comfortable spot in hopes my bruises would stop screaming at me.

"You can go wherever you want to go." I mumbled, looking over, "I need.. I guess I need you to go. Just for a little while."

"Why?" I expected that. How could I explain it without seeming ungrateful? Briefly at a loss, I looked to Alice. She only gave me a nod. That wasn't much help.

"Well.." I took a breath, "I.. My whole life, I've been alone. I'm not used to being around people. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm not alone anymore, but.. I'm not used to it. Being around people makes me want to hide. If you want to go, I won't be any trouble. I promise."

"So.." He murmured, "You're saying you'd prefer it if you had the place to yourself for a little while?"

"Are you mad?" I had to ask, but something in my tone must have bothered him. He wasn't joking anymore, but worried now by the look in his eyes.

"No, shorty." He replied, "I'm not mad." He reached for me, probably to take my hand again, but I tensed. It was instinct to me, and normally uncontrollable. I didn't mean to. He sighed, "Shorty-"

"Emmett." Alice spoke up, thankfully. I looked over at her, hoping for some help explaining. She could just reach me from where she sat to Jasper's other side. She leaned over, and I tensed a little, confused as I felt her grip the back of my shirt in her hand.

I figured out what she was doing the second she moved, but I didn't protest anymore. They'd have to see it to understand, no doubt, just how far this distrust that Jasper mentioned went. Maybe it would help them understand me better. Maybe it would help them understand better the reason why I acted the way I acted.

I looked forward again, leaning on my folded arms across my knees. Allowing her to gently pull my shirt over my back, holding it bunched at the back of my neck. I trembled lightly, biting my lip and waiting for their reaction. They'd never seen these before, no doubt underestimating it.

I looked over at Emmett as I felt him gently take my shirt from Alice, holding it up himself.

"You're telling me," Emmett muttered, "That one man caused this?"

"Well," I replied, "That depends. The thinner, newer ones are Ken's doing. The bigger, older ones are Jack's." I took a breath, looking down, "He's told me a million times not to run from him. I did anyway." I continued, "If you look close, you can probably see the even older ones under those. The even older ones are a week older than the newer-older ones. I was so close." I sighed, shaking my head.

"This is what you've been hiding?" Emmett asked, and I nodded. Softly, he tugged my shirt back down, and I sat a little straighter again.

"Kids like me," I murmured, "We're forgotten about. Most die, I hear. Most don't get a chance like this. Some hold on, but we're forgotten about just the same. Believe me. I get that better than anyone. Being in new places scares me. I'm not used to this place. So if you want to go somewhere, I won't complain. It'll let me get used to being here a little more."

"Shorty," He spoke, his voice quieter, "I know it'll probably take you awhile to fully get this, but no. You never have to worry about this again."

I sighed, standing up. I didn't feel like staying to discuss it any further. I'd said what I needed to say. Stepping passed Jasper, his curious gaze on me, I passed Alice as well. Heading straight for my room.

I paused in the room, listening just passed the doorway as they hardly waited until I was in there before starting in on each other.

"Why didn't you tell me it was that bad?" Emmett was upset, "Why didn't you tell me back when I could have killed the bastard?"

"That's exactly why I didn't." Alice replied, "You're forgetting the reason why I didn't kill him myself."

"She's just a kid, Alice." He countered.

"A kid that needed to see that she's got more control over her own life than what that bastard has shown her." Alice argued, "Come on, Em. Think about what this will do for her."

"You kept that a secret from everyone."

"Damn right, I did." She murmured, "Had I told anyone else, they wouldn't have been able to handle it. It was more than just Bella keeping Edward from the house, you know. Edward chose not to stick around. He couldn't handle seeing it without doing anything about it. Not to mention the fact that Carlisle would have been obligated to step in had I mentioned anything specific. She had to come to this on her own. You know it."

"I still don't like it." He sounded pained, "She's just a kid, for crying out loud. Anyone who'd treat a kid anything like that deserves his damn head ripped off."

"I know." Alice replied, "Believe me, I know what you're getting at, but she's here now. That's what matters now. She's here, and she'll see soon that she's safe."

"How?" He asked incredulously, "After that, I'd be surprised if she ever trusted anyone else again."

"She trusts you." Alice reminded him, "She just doesn't trust her own trust."

"What's that even mean?"

"It means she's hesitant." She answered, "She wants to believe her trust, but she doubts it. Her doubt can't take that trust, though, which is a good thing. She's just a little conflicted, is all. Give her a little time."

Conflict meant having a disagreement. Conflicted was right. I didn't know how I was supposed to feel.

Moving away from the door, I sighed heavily as I crawled up onto the bed. Settling onto my stomach, cuddling a pillow to myself.

I jerked awake, not having realized I'd fallen asleep, at the sound of the door opening again.

"I'm sorry, honey." Esme told me even before I could turn to look at her, "I didn't mean to wake you so suddenly."

"I'm a light sleeper." I mumbled, turning myself over and forcing myself to sit up, "I'm just glad I woke up better this time than I did this morning." I must not have been asleep that long, "I don't even know why I sleep so much."

"You're recovering." She answered as she crossed the room, "Sleep is good for you. You can sleep whenever you need to, but you skipped lunch." I couldn't argue there. Going so long without being able to sleep whenever I needed to was catching up to me now.

"Any requests for dinner?" She asked.

She sat on the bed beside me, gently smoothing my hair down my back. I looked up at her, and she smiled a little.

"I wish I could remember you." I admitted quietly, "You sure seem like a person worth remembering."

"You'll get it." She assured me.

"What if I don't?" I worried about that without even realizing it, "What if I never remember?"

"Then that just leaves more room for new memories." I had to smile a little, looking down. She had this way of turning every single thing around into a good thing. She returned my smile, "So? Dinner?"

"Anything you make is amazing." I sighed, climbing off the bed. She seemed to like that compliment, standing up with me.

I only then seemed to realize, looking to Esme as we stepped into the kitchen, "Why has everyone been home from school?"

"To give you a chance to adjust to them, sweetie." She answered. That made sense. I nodded a little, "And to be honest, Alice is reluctant to leave you."

"Why?" I asked, gingerly sitting down.

"She's a bit protective of you. She just wants to be sure you're comfortable."

"She's already done so much for me." I shook my head, "She shouldn't have to keep worrying about me."

"I'm sure she'll relax as you do." She replied, and I nodded again.

"I'm trying." I murmured, "I swear I am."

"Oh, we understand, honey."

"Emmett seemed a little mad earlier." I admitted, "I just.. I don't want him to think that I don't like him. I do like him. He's.. He's been so nice to me. Everyone has. I'm just.." I trailed off. I didn't know how to really describe it.

"Conflicted." Esme offered, and I sighed.

"Yeah." I replied, "That."

"It'll come with time." She told me, "I promise it'll get easier. Whether you remember or not, it will get easier, darling." Her attention was taken to the doorway behind me, so I took the hint. I turned, looking back as well, spotting Carlisle there.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, and I looked down.

"Okay, I guess." I replied with a little shrug, "I hurt today, but I'm used to it."

"Would you like me to give you anything?"

"No thanks." I shook my head a little, "I'll live."

I knew I needed to get over this. I needed to get passed this aversion, but it was one of the hardest things to do. I didn't want to be nervous all the time, but I had no choice. Until I knew where I stood, it would be very hard not to be nervous all the time.

But he needed effort from me, too. They were all trying so hard for me. Why couldn't I try just a little?

"Actually," I mumbled, "Sure. You can give me something." He seemed surprised, but chose not to question it. Turning to head for the stairs, "Nothing that makes me tired, please." I had to throw that request in there. For my own comfort.

Esme was smiling to herself as I glanced to her before I looked back down. She obviously approved, but also chose not to mention it. I preferred it that way. Not making a big deal out of it.

I had been fighting this, resisting before, just like I knew I should. That promise. The promise I'd always made to myself came forward yet again. I was so afraid, so very scared of being disappointed or hurt that I should have refused to let myself get into a situation where I could be. What was wrong with me?

But I also couldn't deny that every time I thought of anyone here hurting me, my mind corrected itself. Like I knew differently. Like it was telling me not to be so stupid. That was the part I didn't trust. That was the part that conflicted me. That was the part I wanted to trust so bad, but I didn't trust my own trust in it. I needed to start doing that.

That was the same part of my mind that corrected me each time I bothered to hope that I'd be seen someday. Maybe that was why I didn't trust it? The usually doubtful part of my mind was telling me I didn't have to be afraid.

I sighed, hesitating for a moment as Carlisle returned. I looked carefully at the harmless bottle of Tylenol, hoping it was harmless. I took the single pill he offered me, also hoping this would help ease the aching pain enough to focus through.

I assured myself with thoughts that Esme was standing right there, so I didn't have to worry so much. Taking the pill easily now.

"Thank you." I told him, and he gave me a nod in return.

"That should help." He replied, and I nodded this time.

"Leandra," I looked up at Esme, "I couldn't help overhearing earlier." I knew what she meant. She was talking about the wanting to be alone part.

"Are you mad?" I asked quietly.

"Of course not." She replied, "I think it makes sense. It's very understandable, you needing your space. I suppose as prepared as we were, that never occurred to us."

"I'm just not used to it yet." I admitted, "I wasn't going to say anything."

"Why not?" She asked, "Honey, you can say anything that's on your mind. It would help, actually."

"I didn't want anyone to think I wasn't grateful." I replied, shaking my head, "That's not it. I'm more grateful than I've ever been in my life. For everything, but.."

"We understand." She assured me, "It'll take some time, but we have just as much to learn as you do." That made sense, "If there's anything at all you want to say, please don't be afraid to say it. Anything you want, we'll do our best. Requests, suggestions, concerns or worries, feel free." I smiled a little at her kind laugh.

"Well," I mumbled, "I know you don't like it when I cuss."

She winced slightly, "Words like that shouldn't come from someone so sweet."

"I can't help it sometimes." I admitted, "Sorry about that. I've heard words like that my whole life." She shook her head, obviously not approving. I had a feeling the more she learned about me, the worse that would get.

"Here, honey." She said after a few silent seconds, "I'll make you a deal."

"What kind of deal?" I asked.

"You'll have the whole house to yourself tomorrow afternoon." She informed me, "If that's what you really want?"

I nodded immediately, "I do want that."

"I trust you'll be okay on your own." I nodded again as she continued, "So you'll have that, on one condition. Take a bath while we're gone."

"A bath?" I frowned. It had been a day or so since my last one. Was this a more than once a week thing?

"You can use as much hot water as you want to." She assured me, "And if it somehow runs out, just wait half an hour. It'll be back." I laughed a little at the way she said that.

"I'm used to putting off taking a shower." I admitted, "For as long as I can get away with it. Do I stink?"

"No," She replied, "But it's important for your health to shower regularly. Especially while you're healing." I nodded a little.

"I'll try to remember to more often." I told her, and she nodded as well.

"Are you sure you'll be okay here by yourself?" She asked.

"I'm good at it." I reminded her, "Don't worry. I won't go looking or snooping anywhere. You don't have to lock any doors or anything."

"I'm not concerned about that." She placed a plate in front of me, "I'm more concerned about you getting lonely."

"I think better when I'm alone."

She sighed, "I understand. I'll be leaving a list of numbers for you, just in case."

I spent the majority of my time the following day hiding away, now that I knew they weren't offended by it. It felt nice to just exist for a few hours. I didn't have to be anywhere, or talk to anyone. My mind was busy, though, and it helped that I could go over everything that had happened without anyone asking if I was okay.

I used to do this a lot on the weekends. Though at home, I didn't have anyone I needed to hide from until Jack got home in the evening. Back before life changed so much. Back before everything started moving around me, and the ground was no longer solid, I used to do this.

Just sitting, tucked away somewhere as I thought. This was the most comforting of my time spent here, and it was nice. I could take deep breaths, and they helped again. I could cry, albeit quietly, but I could just cry. Not having to worry about anyone asking if I was okay, or if I was in pain.

I was in pain. A lot of pain. Every kind of pain. I was tired, hurting and insecure. Of course I was in pain, but I was no stranger to pain. I was used to hurting this bad, but I wasn't used to being scared like this. In this way. I was confused, fighting relentlessly my own thoughts and emotions. Constantly correcting my thoughts when they'd drift, and arguing with my reasons to correct myself.

It was nice to just sit and think, but the things I sat and thought about weren't so nice. Thankfully, my thoughts were silent.

Esme came to my room at around noon, to see if I was okay and asking if I was hungry yet.

"Not really." I mumbled, answering both questions with one response. She obviously caught on, sighing sadly.

"If you need anything, please let me know." That was the very best answer she could ever have given me. Because I was honest with them yesterday, she understood my need to sort through everything on my own, and I very deeply appreciated that.

"I will." I replied, my gaze grateful as I looked at her.

She left the room with a small smile, closing my door softly behind her.

I was awake later on when Esme returned. I was awake, and I could hear her, but she never demanded a response. She let me know that they were leaving me alone now, and if I needed anything, just give her a call. Letting me know that I could help myself to anything in the kitchen if I got hungry enough to eat.

"I'll be okay." I finally rolled over and murmured, "Don't worry about me."

"I just worry." She admitted.

"You don't have to." I replied, "Jack isn't here. That automatically means I'll be okay."

"If you're sure.."

"I am." I nodded a little, "Go ahead."

She finally left, but I could see how reluctant she was. I couldn't blame her. She just didn't know how practiced I was at being alone. I wondered how many times this would have to happen before she realized. I might have only been nine, but I was smart enough to know not to stick a whole drawer of silverware into the microwave or bake a dish towel in the oven on high for six hours.

I laid there for quite some time afterwards. Just laying on my bed, watching the curtains across the room. They were neat to watch, and to me, it was better than reading any book or watching any TV show. The curtains didn't try to take my focus from the thoughts already in my head.

My eyes closed on their own. No choice in it for me, but my thoughts continued for a few minutes after. Thoughts of where I laid now, versus where I'd been laying just a few days ago. It was so hard to believe that this was the right choice.

Everyone kept telling me how I'd made the right decision by deciding to call, but I still couldn't see it. I couldn't see how pissing Jack off, for any reason, was the right decision. I couldn't see how running from him, only to hide behind this family was the right decision.

The answer was there. I knew it, the reason why, but I couldn't reach it. Trying to recall what that reason was felt, to me, like trying to reach for something across the room. It was there, but I couldn't get to it without giving more effort.

It was the most frustrating thing I'd ever felt before.

When I opened my eyes, I realized I must have fallen asleep. I was now laying in the dark. Not meaning to fall asleep, I never turned my light on, so this really bothered me. There was still a bit of evening light out behind the thick curtains, but the amount of light peeking into the room was nowhere near enough to illuminate anything whatsoever. I sat up in my bed with a slight bounce, looking around myself in the pitch blackness. What had woken me up?

Was it a dream that had woken me up? Or was it something else? I didn't hear a sound around me.

That soon stopped mattering. The regular fear I felt in the dark came back, and I knew, all I had to do was just move a little bit. All I had to do was scoot over, reach out and turn on the lamp, but I couldn't move. Fear immobilizing me. I was so convinced that if I reached out, if I uncurled from my tiny ball for just a second, something would get me. I squeezed tighter into my ball, squeezing my own breath from my lungs.

However, I knew the longer I sat here, the longer I had to make sure I never moved again until the light came back. I was scared, but I knew I had to move.

Before I could dwell too much on it, I steeled myself the best I could and forcefully climbed off the bed. Standing up, I felt twice as vulnerable as I had before, so I did the only thing I could think of. Racing across the room as fast as I could. Fighting the door open, I jumped out into the hallway with a soft cry of fear. Just knowing something was behind me.

The hallway was dark as well, but not near as dark as my bedroom was. It took me a moment to realize that I'd actually been brave enough to run through the dark. I was safe now.

Looking back into the dark room, I reached over and turned on the hallway light. My panicked breathing had yet to slow down as I looked around the once dark room. The hallway light crawled into my room as well, lighting it just enough.

There was nothing in there out of the ordinary. Nobody waiting there to stab me if I moved wrong. Nobody waiting for me to leave myself vulnerable. It was just the room. Now void of anyone.

Slowly, I pushed the door further open, walking back inside. Straight to the bedside lamp. I sighed as I turned it on. Ensuring that didn't happen again. I would sleep with that on tonight. I stood there, calming down after what felt like hours of fear. That had taken a lot out of me.

I sighed again, rubbing my hungry stomach. I couldn't believe I'd gone the whole day without eating. That was probably what woke me up. Curiously, I started wandering. Leaving my room and looking around in the hallway, before slowly making my way toward the kitchen.

It was odd for me to not to see anyone.

My focus was taken by the plate of chocolate chip cookies I found on the counter in the kitchen. Carefully stepping closer, I bit my lip as I slowly peered over the edge of the counter at the plate. Heavily tempted.

Would anyone notice if any were gone? They were just right there. Nobody was around to ask, and nobody was around to tell me no. Esme had told me to help myself to anything, so I figured why not? I was hungry, but didn't really have the energy to actually make something. I'd deal with the consequences later on.

So I snagged one, and darted around the counter to sit in one of the seats there. Nibbling on the cookie eagerly, looking around some more. It was eerie here alone.

It was silent. Nothing moved, nobody watched me.

I found I was just as distracted out here as I was in my room. Sitting there, my thoughts returned to the conversation with Heather the day before. She didn't know where Jack was, but that didn't seem to surprise her. I wasn't sure if that was surprising to me or not.

It sure didn't surprise me that Jack couldn't be found. It didn't. I just wished I could know when he was coming for me. Not so I could avoid it, but so I could go on and meet him. As much as the thought of dying scared me, especially at Jack's hands, the thought of anyone else getting hurt because of me scared me even more. Who knew what Jack would do?

I shuddered at the possibilities, nearly choking on the small bite of cookie I'd taken. I moved to set it down, unsure if I wanted it anymore.

I froze, though, as the garage door opened suddenly. Stuffing whatever was left of my cookie into my mouth quickly. Chewing slowly with a wide eyed expression, I glanced sideways as Carlisle stepped inside first, followed by someone else, and Esme afterwards. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that I had eaten something.

I hoped they wouldn't be mad as their eyes found me. Especially after my behavior earlier. Hiding away from everyone. Though I knew they understood, it didn't help ease me.

"Leandra." Carlisle came to my side. He seemed tense, but not mad at me. I could tell that instantly. Telling when someone was mad at me was a skill I'd developed a long time ago.

"Hmm?" I couldn't exactly answer him.

"Go into your room." He urged, and I frowned a little. He never told me to leave the room. Nobody did. I wondered why that suddenly changed. Maybe he actually was mad? But he didn't seem to be. He wasn't angry.

I glanced behind him toward where Esme stood talking with the stranger that had come inside with them. He seemed even more tense than Carlisle was.

"Hey." I mumbled when I'd cleared my mouth. I looked closer as I climbed from my seat.

"Leandra." Carlisle tried to take my attention again, "Go."

"Who's he?" I asked, and the stranger looked my way. His gaze meeting mine. I partly recognized him, even as I jumped a little. I couldn't look away. From where I stood, I had to really look, "His eyes are red." I could see that much, and the confusion in his eyes confused me right back.

I'd gained Esme's attention now, and she stepped forward. Probably seeing that Carlisle had been unsuccessful in making me vacate my spot at the counter. I knew I should have listened to him, and done what he told me, but I couldn't help it. I had to stand there watching the stranger as he watched me, almost seeming afraid in his confusion. I couldn't get passed his eyes.

Naturally, I was afraid of him, but not for the same reason I was used to.

"Come on, honey." She took my hand. I kept my eyes on the stranger, though. Walking backwards as Esme attempted to lead me away, resisting ever so slightly.

"Esme, his eyes are red." I murmured as we neared my room.

"I know." She replied gently, "But-"

"I don't think he's the same one."

"He isn't?" That caught her attention, and thinking hard about it, I shook my head. I might not have remembered anything else about the one I remembered, but I knew that wasn't him. I was sure of it.

"Uh-uh." I answered, "Who is he?"

"We'll explain it to you later." She replied, "For now, we just need you to sit tight, okay?" Meaning, stay in my room. Stay where she put me. I nodded, watching her close my door behind her as she left.

The red eyed man.

He wasn't the one I remembered. How many people in the world could have eyes that color? I'd never seen anyone with eyes like that. Now suddenly, there were at least two? How many others? And how were their eyes that color to begin with? Maybe a weird light brownish color? No. There was no brown there. It made my stomach flip.

I waited in my room for as long as I could, but eventually, my curiosity got the better of me. Slowly pulling open my door, I peeked out. My door never made a sound, so I thought I was in the clear until Esme found me before I could even take a step out into the hall.

Coincidence.

She took my hand, hugging me into her side as she sighed. Something was wrong. I could tell that immediately. I looked up at her as she led me toward the kitchen, and into the bright garage. It seemed as if every light in the room was on, and it was busy. Everyone was here now, even Bella, who I hadn't seen since class that day. Something had obviously happened, and I'd missed it completely. Left clueless, and I wasn't even sure I wanted to know.

From there, she let me go, only to have Carlisle replace her with his hand on my shoulder. Everything was happening so fast, it was hard to keep up. In my confusion, I was very easy to move. It was easy to lead me where I needed to be led.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, looking up at him, "Did I do something wrong?"

"Of course not, Leandra." He assured me, but his tone wasn't very assuring. Well, something was bugging him, and I could only hope it had more to do with the red-eyed man than with me. If I was in trouble, he'd tell me, right?

There wasn't much chance to ask him much else, as he wasted no time in crossing the garage with me and insisting I get into the back of his car. Not quite pushing me, but urging me. The tension, which was already starting to get to me, told me I knew this. Listen to what he didn't say, and do it. Which I did so, confused but too surprised to even try to ask.

I climbed into the backseat beside Bella, she and I glancing to each other. We weren't alone in here either, as Jasper and Alice both took the front seats. Were we going somewhere? Looking out the window, we weren't the only ones preparing to leave. Everyone else was as well.

What the hell was going on?

"Whatever I did, I'm sorry." I spoke up, looking to Alice in the front.

"Leandra." Alice's quiet voice had me stay quiet as we got moving, "You're fine. It'll be okay."

She said that, but I didn't believe her. I whimpered, staying quiet as we took the driveway first. Outside the car was dark, and I couldn't see much outside my window. It worried me, left me with a chilled feeling. The rain was just showing up, and I watched as my window was slowly pelted with the thin drops.

I looked to Bella, "Why do we have to leave?"

"Don't tell her, Bella." Alice murmured from the front, "She doesn't remember yet." I sighed, but didn't push it. I only wanted to understand, but apparently that was too much. What didn't I remember? Was there something I needed to remember?

Looking back out the window, I watched. Calming now, into almost a daze as everything seemed to speed up, flying by as I slowly forgot about my questions. Calmer than I should be, it really didn't take long for sleep to find me.

I didn't understand what was wrong with me. Why I could go from scared, to calm so suddenly. Maybe there really was something wrong with me?

I knew I should be scared, and I knew I should be wide awake, but I wasn't. The only thing I could be was tired. Nobody spoke now, the car silent as we left the house far behind. I closed my eyes, much like I had when Jack had taken me, but this was different. Like we were leaving not just the family, but everything else behind.

As I slept, it seemed as if a permanent frown was on my face. I was awake enough to remember that much. I could concentrate enough to know something was there. Closer than all the others, but that's because this hadn't happened yet. I knew that difference. It was starting to give me a headache, trying to sift through my foggy thoughts like cards stacked in random piles.

Everything was different now.

We never stopped. We just kept going, continuing on through dawn, and morning. Through afternoon, and evening. Despite the physical pain of sitting so still for so long, I couldn't stay awake. It felt, to me, like I'd taken some sort of sleep medication, because right then, sleep was more important than being comfortable. I knew I hadn't though, which was pretty confusing to me. As confused as I could bother to be, anyway.

How tired I was reminded me a lot of the first night in California, relaxing on Ken's lap the way I had. This was slightly different than that, but this did make me wonder about that. Had Ken given me something? How suddenly it had come on there, and how sedated I'd felt. How deeply I slept that night. I knew the difference between regular sleeping and that kind of sleeping, but it never even occurred to me.

I filed that away for later. One of the many things I'd probably focus on while my questions went unanswered.

We got to a hotel, and I woke enough to know that Bella had fallen asleep as well. Alice carried me from the car, giving me time to wrap my arms around her neck weakly, but Jasper helped Bella to her feet. Now and then, he glanced back at us, paying close attention to where we were as he grabbed Bella's bag. I didn't have a bag, but that hardly bothered me right then. I just rested my head on Alice's shoulder, and fell back to sleep. Not even awake long enough to see the inside lobby of the hotel. I was just out.

When I opened my eyes next, I was curled in a ball on the couch of a rather large hotel room. A thin blanket draped over me, and a pillow under my head. I opened my eyes, staring at the back of the couch, blinking tiredly. It wasn't a particularly comfortable position to lay in, but I still didn't want to move. The couch was pretty hard and uncomfortable, which told me that if I'd been laying on this for very long, moving would hurt ten times worse.

My bruises still healing would protest the second I tried to move, if they were already yelling this badly already. I eventually did have to move, however. My limbs felt stiff, and continuing to lay there for any continued length of time was surely out of the question.

I took a breath, and rolled over. Uncurling, and whimpering quietly in pain as I tried to push myself upright as I did so. I couldn't help it, and it alerted Alice and Jasper across the room that I was awake now, given how Alice stood up.

"Leandra." Alice murmured, crossing the room to help me sit up. Thankfully, "How are you feeling?"

"Ow." I mumbled, unable to say much else. I was already so close to tears, having to explain anything else would have ensured that I cry.

"I'm sorry." She sighed sadly, "We thought Bella could use the privacy of the bedroom." I nodded, and I really did understand. Even if I still had no idea what the hell was going on.

"It's okay." I whimpered, fixing my bunched shirt. She was quiet for a second, sitting beside me. I looked up at her, "When are we going back?"

She hesitated, "We'll be here for awhile." There was so much she wasn't telling me. I wasn't stupid.

I hesitated as well, biting my lip a little, "Why are we here?" She studied my expression for a moment, as if debating with herself. I didn't ask again, waiting to see if she decided to tell me. I didn't want to push it.

"Your bruise is looking better." She offered instead, and I looked down.

"Where are we?" I asked, unable to help it.

"Leandra, I know you're confused, and I can't blame you." She sighed, "Just trust me, okay? You'll be alright."

"Who was that?" I asked, fixing how I sat, "Why did we leave?"

She sighed again, looking to Jasper this time.

"We can't tell you much, Leandra." Jasper spoke up.

"Why not?"

"Because you've yet to remember anything that would explain everything." He answered, "This is something we're.. Not allowed to explain."

"How do you know I still don't remember?" I wondered, frowning.

"There would be no question in your mind as to why we're here if you did." He replied, "You wouldn't be so confused."

"Oh." I muttered. Yeah, that made sense. I sighed, "Nope. I don't remember."

"I'm aware."

"But.." I added, frowning even more, "Alice, his eyes were red."

"Just like the one you remember." She understood my confusion. Sort of.

"No." I replied, "He's not him." That took her attention.

"Are you sure?"

"Unless he is, and I remember wrong." I murmured, "But I don't think he is. Are there more with eyes that color?" I had a feeling she'd know.

At a loss again, she looked to Jasper.

"Yes." He answered carefully, "There are."

"What did he want?" I asked him this time, "Why'd you have to bring me here?"

"Leandra," He sighed, "I know this is hard on you, but you need to just trust us."

"How can I just trust you, when you won't tell me anything?" I grumbled.

"Now you understand how frustrating it is being led around in circles." He replied, slightly amused. I could see the humor in it, but I wasn't laughing.

"It sucks." I carefully leaned back, wincing a little as my back found the armrest of the couch.

"I agree." He nodded a little, "But look at it this way. You should be pretty practiced by now at just going along with things, right?"

"This is different." I shook my head, "All the times before, it was my idea. This isn't." It was true. When I'd cooperated, it was because I either wanted to, or knew I had no other choice. Here I was trying to fix my life, and suddenly, this happens. This happens, and nobody would tell me a damn thing.

"She has a point." Alice sighed.

"Does that mean you'll tell me why we're here?" I asked, "Wherever we are?"

"No." They both answered calmly at once. I sighed, shrugging a little.

"Didn't hurt to ask." I mumbled to myself, looking down.

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. Stomach bug and head cold both stole most of my focus, along with the hubby being sick and excruciatingly unbearable tooth pain. Happy New Year to me! :D  
>I hope this chapter makes some sense. If not, I apologize, and blame it on the time of year. I could spend another week going over this, but I know that'd just drive me up the wall, so it's as ready as it can be.<br>THANK YOU to my wonderful reviewers! You're all AMAZING! And awesome! And amazingly awesome! And awesomely amazing! All of those. Those are you. You are those. :D  
>Anyhoo. Chapter thirteen will be probably as long, as it's still totally unchanged as of right now, but I will be working on it.<br>Until Thirteen, my friends! :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter T****hirteen**

So there I sat, curled into a ball on the couch. I was getting more and more irritated with each passing second. More irritated, more confused. Alice had never kept something from me before. Now suddenly she and Jasper take me here, wherever we were, for no reason? No, I corrected myself. They had a reason. They just wouldn't tell me what that reason was.

This couldn't just be some demonstration about how frustrating it was to not be told anything. That had crossed my mind multiple times.

Another thought that crossed my mind a lot, of course, was comparing the scenario with Jack to this one here. Being packed quickly into the backseat of something, only to go on a long trip, and land confused somewhere with no answers to go on.

"What did I do?" I finally demanded, "Is it because I didn't take a bath? Because I was going to, but I-"

"It's nothing you did." Alice assured me for the thousandth time, "If you would just-"

"Where are we?" I couldn't change the tone of worry in my voice. I didn't like the sunlight outside, even closed off behind the curtains. It made me uneasy. I hadn't yet been brave enough to get up and go look out.

"We're in Arizona." She finally answered me. She was probably hoping that would solve some of my curiosity. That actually did the opposite. I wasn't stupid. I knew right where Arizona was.

"What?" I muttered, "Arizona? Why?"

She sighed, "I can't tell you that."

"You drag me back into this shitty part of the country, won't tell me why, and then want me to calm down?" I grumbled, glaring a small pout at her. She could easily see, I was sure, how I was feeling.

"I've told you all I can tell you." She reasoned gently, "It'll be okay. I promise-"

"Shove it." I snapped. That didn't ease me anymore.

She sighed again, coming back over and sitting next to me. She tried to pat my hands, but I jerked them away, hiding them. We might have been in Arizona, but it was still far too close to California for my comfort.

"Leandra," Jasper tried, "I know how-"

"You shove it too." I snapped at him, but quickly hid.

"Leandra." Alice tried again.

"Why did you bring me here?" My tone had quieted quite a bit as my anger faded slowly into fear, "I don't want to be here." There was only one explanation in my mind as to why they refused to tell me anything. One reason in the world.

"Is that what's bothering you?" She asked, "Where we are?"

Her soft tone only made me want to cry. It didn't ease me.

"We're nowhere near California." She tried.

"Closer than back home." I sniffed, "Too close."

"I know." She replied, "I understand. Look.." She sighed, and paused. Probably looking to Jasper, before she spoke again, "We're only here for a little while. We'll be going back as soon as we can, okay?" Slowly, I looked back up. I didn't say anything, so she tried again, "Okay?"

"You're going to give me away, too." I muttered, and that had obviously not crossed her mind before, given her surprise.

"Of course not." She replied, her tone sharply surprised, "No." I didn't believe her. I'd never had reason to really doubt her before. Not like this, but here I was. Doubting every word she told me.

Bella chose that moment to wander out of the bedroom part of the room, and instantly, their attention was taken by that.

I continued to sit there, trying to recover from the pain I still felt. Mostly physical. I knew it'd be weeks, if not longer, before that would go away. I still had at least a few weeks of pain to look forward to. Maybe that was why I was still so guarded?

I decided at that point that I'd keep to myself. I'd wait, and I'd see where this was going. Definitely stuck in this way of thinking had me seeing them differently. I wasn't sure what Bella had to do with all of this, but I didn't bother to ask, either.

Time passed, and I was eventually able to stand up. I had to wander around the room. I needed to get some of this nervous energy out somehow, and wandering was the only way. Since I wasn't allowed to leave it.

I knew by the way both Alice and Jasper glanced to me that they knew all about the fact that I didn't trust them near as much anymore, but the longer they went refusing to give me an answer I could use, the less I trusted them. I knew they knew by the way I glanced to them that it wouldn't take long now.

My arms crossed insecurely over my stomach, I stared out the window. From what I could see through the small gap in the curtain, anyway. I wasn't allowed to pull it back.

My thoughts rolled, tumbled through my head. Trying to focus on anything but what I'd convinced myself to be true. We were only waiting for whoever they were giving me to to get here.

To say I wasn't surprised that they finally took me seriously would be a lie. They finally listened. They didn't want the trouble I brought, and though I couldn't blame them one bit, it did bother me.

I could have been a wall ornament, a picture frame hanging there for all the times I moved. I stayed there through the day, watching as the daylight faded and replaced itself with evening. I'd eventually gotten tired of standing, though, and tugged a heavy chair across the room to sit in. Just to watch out of the tiny gap in the heavy curtain.

"Leandra." I ignored Jasper's voice beside me. He'd been standing there for awhile. He sighed, "Leandra, please. I know what you're thinking, but you couldn't be more wrong." I wasn't going to fall for it.

"You're lying." I mumbled, "Don't even bother."

"I'm not lying to you." He replied, "There are just some things-"

"I get it, okay?" I growled, "I get it. I knew it was stupid. I knew I was only screwing myself over when it came to trusting anyone but myself, but I did it anyway. I don't blame you. I can't, but just leave me alone."

Giving a glance around, refusing to meet his eyes, I found no sign of Alice. She must have been in the bedroom keeping Bella company. That was probably why Jasper was bothering to talk to me at all. Even if it was just to lie to me.

"You'll see." He assured me calmly, "You'll see for yourself."

I couldn't be mad at him. I understood completely, but the only thing I asked was that they didn't try to lie to me.

He took the hint, thankfully, and let me be.

I'd fallen asleep in the chair sometime late that night, and deeply regretted that decision when I woke up the following morning. It was still early, too early to be awake. The chair was even more uncomfortable than the couch, and hurt twice as bad.

"Dammit." I muttered, sitting forward. Instead of just the bruises screaming at me in pain, it was my entire body. The sore, stiff feeling in my back only added to the pain of my bruises, and that made it nearly intolerable.

I cried this time. It was all I could do to keep breathing through this pain. It hadn't been this bad yet, but I expected this day to come since I first got this set of bruises. I expected it. I normally had one or two days like this about this point in the healing phase. I had no idea what caused them to hurt even more for just a short while, but I wasn't exactly asking, either. Sleeping in the chair also didn't help things any, I was sure.

"Leandra?" I opened my eyes, looking to Alice suddenly there, "What is it?"

"It hurts." I couldn't refuse to answer her this time. I might not have liked her very much at that moment, but I needed comfort. From anyone willing to give it.

She looked down in thought for a moment before she looked up, "Jazz, would you mind wetting a few hand towels? Make them cold, please."

"Not at all." Jasper replied, but I didn't look back.

"Come on." Alice sighed, taking both my hands and helping me stand up. I just went along with it. I had zero resistance in me. As much as I wanted to, resisting only would have hurt more. She led me to the couch, and gently reached out. Lifting my shirt over my back, over my head, but allowing me to keep it half on.

"Lay down." She instructed lightly, gesturing to the couch. I did so. Carefully situating myself, laying on my stomach, and she nodded as Jasper returned with the towels.

"This might hurt a little more at first," She told me, "But it'll feel better in a minute."

"Wow." Bella had entered the room, "What in the world happened to her?" I was surprised that she saw it, but two out of the three other people in the room had seen it, so it wasn't too horrible.

Jasper stepped back as Alice kneeled beside the couch. Unfolding one of the three towels Jasper had given her. I was starting to understand. I knew what she was doing, and at that point, I was willing to try anything.

"Ready?" She asked, and I took a deep breath, holding it with a nod. I squeezed my eyes shut, biting my lip the second the towel landed lightly on the center of my back. It was long enough to cover my back from between my shoulder blades, to just above the waistband of my jeans. I flinched, arching forward in a slight attempt to get away from it and whimpering quietly. It did hurt, but she wasn't wrong. The pain did start to fade only seconds later. Like the cold was numbing it.

Until it did fade, I cried a little, of course. I did my best to hide it, but I couldn't. The pain under the skin, under the bruises burned and ached so badly, and at first, it was almost impossible to control my cries. I chose to bite onto my bunched shirt beneath me instead, but that muffled them enough. Soon, though, the pain started to fade to a more tolerable level.

I felt a slight weight on my back, over the towel, but I didn't mind it. I gasped, trying to slow my breathing again and blinking left over tears from my eyes. Whimpering when ached again briefly. Coughing through a few breaths. It _really_ hurt, so I had no idea how I was supposed to live through the other towels.

"I wish we had some ice." Alice sighed, "I didn't think about bringing anything for the pain."

"This side next." I requested quietly, gesturing carefully to my left.

"I'm not sure how effective this will be," Bella murmured, "But I have some Aspirin-"

"Please." Alice spoke up calmly, "Go get it." With a nod, Bella turned.

I held my breath again as Alice prepared another towel. Raising my left arm a little more so she could position it right. She'd just placed it when Bella returned with a small white bottle and kneeled beside Alice, so I couldn't thank her myself. If I would have tried to speak, I'd probably start crying again.

"It's worse up close." Bella muttered sadly, handing two pills to Alice.

"Just one pill." Alice corrected, "She's too young for two." Bella held onto one, giving Alice the second.

"This seems like a two pill kind of job." Bella pointed out.

"I know," Alice sighed, "But we really could do without causing more problems while trying to fix this one." I took the pill Alice offered, sipping through the straw in the glass of water Jasper brought over. Why were they bothering to help me so much?

By the time the third towel had been placed over my right side, I was sure I was going to throw up, but as that pain faded too, that worry eased. I just laid there, my eyes closed as I focused on breathing deeply.

"What happened to her?" Bella finally asked again in the silence. I opened my eyes, looking to Alice. Bella would probably find out sooner or later, so might as well fill her in. I nodded a little, giving my consent.

"Jazz?" Alice requested, and he sighed. Bella stood up, and I assumed he was taking her to the side to explain, as Alice never moved. I never even realized her hand smoothed gently over the towels, until I'd looked over at her. Sure enough, Jasper's quiet voice could be heard from the other side of the room. I just couldn't hear any specific words.

"I'm sorry." Alice finally sighed, distracting me from trying to hear Jasper, "I wish we could tell you everything, but there's just so much in the way of that."

"Yeah." I mumbled, bitterness coloring the tone.

"Leandra, we're not giving you away." She assured me, and I looked up at her, "I swear to you. I think I can imagine how overactive your mind has been and I can easily see how you'd compare this trip with previous ones, but I promise. You're not going anywhere we're not going. You're not going anywhere without me, remember?"

I didn't bother to reply to that. Letting my eyes close, I laid still. I did remember, despite how I didn't want to at that point.

I couldn't deny, though, that this felt good. The intense ache fading completely for the first time in a long time. I thought again about what that hotel clerk had told me upon seeing the bruise on my face, and it made a whole lot of sense. Ice, or cold, would help a lot.

"I promise." She repeated, but wasn't demanding a reply. I wanted to stay mad at her, but I really couldn't after she'd eased my pain for me. I was still skeptical of the not giving me away part, but I wasn't mad anymore. That had eased along with the pain.

"Sorry." I mumbled, looking up at where Jasper stood watching from across the room. Bella stood beside him, watching me as well. I decided to explain, "For snapping at you."

"It's completely understandable, Leandra." He replied, and I actually felt better. Was that how it was supposed to work? Was apologizing really meant to make me feel better? I was no stranger to admitting I was wrong, as I did it all the time with Jack, but all that ever did was make it harder on me.

The rest of the day passed slowly. It took a lot to make me move again after the towels were removed, but once I did, I found I could move easier than I could before. However, as I was able to get up, my suspicions returned. I didn't want to believe her. I didn't want to fool myself into thinking they were telling the truth.

I knew that if I expected the worst, anything positive was very welcoming. So I remained hesitant. I stole back all my trust, hiding it away until I would know for sure if I could place it back in them. I didn't exactly like how easy it was to do that, but I couldn't afford not to.

By the morning of the next day, that hadn't changed. I didn't ask anymore. I just did as I was told. I hardly ate much, choosing to live on what I'd eaten the first day there for now. After five days, two days was nothing. At least that's what I told myself.

I never should have accepted anything they had to offer. I never should have let myself get into this position. I knew I'd be kicking myself eventually, but I never expected it to be this soon.

However, I watched them closely, and I couldn't help growing increasingly curious. It'd been days, and I never saw them eat. I never saw them sleep. I never saw them do anything, but sit there. They never got bored, despite the way I did. Never restless or edgy. Just sitting there like they were waiting for something.

I napped. I had to take a snooze here or there, but they never did. Both always awake, either sitting silently together, or talking quietly. Almost inaudible to me. I watched them more than I even wanted to, but I couldn't help it.

I didn't ask about that, either. Just watching. Wondering when the time would come when I'd get my answers. They had to be tired. They had to be hungry.

I was edgy now. On top of being bored, there was much more to it. Nervous, anticipating something. I didn't like it.

I spent that night back on the couch. I'd learned my lesson about the chair. My nervousness had only grown the following morning, taking me off guard. I found it was harder now to just sit still.

"Leandra." Alice finally called my attention, and I turned. Just now noticing both she and Jasper were watching me pace a little, "Come sit with me for a moment." I was losing my mind, and I didn't even know why.

I shook my head. Turning back around, my eyes found the view out the window again, something that had taken my attention often the last two days. The late afternoon sunlight touched the city, and a lot of the buildings in it, but not the room we were in. I didn't like the sunlight anymore. Not a bit after California.

Who would be coming to pick me up? Someone they'd found to take in someone like me? Someone with a target on their back like me. Maybe they brought me here so Ken could pick me up without being noticed. I shuddered, whimpering at the thought.

I jumped a little as Alice was suddenly beside me. I hadn't heard her get up.

"What's wrong?" She asked me quietly, and I knew by the way she looked at me that she was aware of how I felt.

"You know what's wrong." I sighed, looking back out the window. I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't describe it any more than I already had. She didn't ask me to, to my relief.

She just stood there with me, watching the traffic below for a few minutes before she sighed. Hugging me briefly into her side, despite how I tensed in response to it, and she left me alone.

I stayed where I was, not bothering to turn around as Bella came back out.

Bella had been here and there, edgy like I was, but for more reasons. I managed to gather that much. She was the lucky one, however, getting the bed. I didn't mind it so much, though. Sure, the couch hurt my bruises, but at least I didn't have to sleep on the floor.

I always found that when things changed, they changed quickly. Like before, back at the house. It was calm one minute, then the next, everything got moving again. Like sitting in a boat, going down a river. The water would be calm and slow one second, the next, you'd have to hang on, or get thrown out.

That was all I could do now, as the three of them talked quickly and quietly. About things I didn't understand.

I just watched out the window again, letting them sort it out.

"Leandra." Alice called my attention after a few minutes, "Come on. Put your shoes on." Oh, they were leaving.

"No." I muttered, and she sighed, "I'm waiting here."

"For what?" She asked, "Let's talk on the way."

"For whoever is taking me." I replied.

"Are you still on that?" She asked, "Please. Put your shoes on."

I didn't bother to reply, and I didn't bother to move. Keeping my arms crossed, my gaze out the window. Bella stepped into the living room with her bag on her shoulder, and with me distracted by that, I yelped loudly at being picked up. Lifted off my feet, I kicked a little in surprise.

I didn't have much chance to protest before Jasper settled me in his arm easily, lifting my shoes with another quick movement.

"That was kind of rude, you know." I muttered, "How would you like it if I just picked you up out of nowhere?" He smirked a little. Rounding to close the door once he'd followed Alice out into the hallway, carrying me along with him.

As much as I hated being carried, I'd deal with it. I doubted I could keep up with their pace anyway, as even Bella was having trouble keeping up.

I felt a little worn down from the last two days, and from not having a change of clothes. Nobody had brought any with them, and no one wanted to leave the room long enough to get me some, but then again, I never brought it up. I was fine.

Everything seemed to speed up from there. Rushing to check out, I saw the outside of the room for what felt like thirty short seconds before we were back in the car, and headed for, as Bella directed, the airport. Did that mean we were going back? I began to hesitantly hope again.

At the airport, it was almost difficult to keep up.

I had to practically run until Jasper, probably tired of having to keep an eye on me several steps behind, picked me up again and carried me along. I bit my lip, not wanting to complain.

I also didn't want to bring up one other tiny issue I had while everyone else seemed to be in such a rush with getting a ticket and getting to the right side of the airport in what also felt like thirty seconds. To my surprise, though, they'd only gotten one ticket. Weren't all four of us going back? Or was it more complicated than that?

I didn't ask about it, not even letting on that I'd noticed.

Until Bella eventually did, to my relief. She mentioned going to the bathroom, and I immediately agreed. Alice allowed it, thankfully, and Jasper was the one to escort us. At Bella's request, as she mentioned she was feeling nervous. I found that odd, but again, didn't say anything. I was just grateful we had time to go.

I followed her quickly, diving into the bathroom ahead of her. Nearly shoving her out of my way, and finding the closest stall while Jasper waited outside. I wasn't paying attention to Bella anymore, preoccupied with one thing at a time.

I washed my hands once I was done, curiously looking around. Bella wasn't out here anymore, so I assumed she was still busy, and stepped back out the way I came in. Sighing, I took the open spot beside Jasper. Waiting with him.

"Do you still doubt our sincerity?" Jasper asked after a minute of silence.

"Yes." I admitted, "But whatever happens, happens. I don't blame you. Not for finally listening to me."

He sighed, "You are quite stubborn."

"I know I am." I replied, "It's just how I am."

"I'm curious." He admitted, "What are your theories?"

"What do you mean?" I frowned a little.

"What do you think we're doing here?"

"I don't know." I shrugged a little, "It's just too much the same. The night Jack took me to California, he was in a rush. He was in a big hurry, just like you were. He just took longer getting there than you took getting here, because we had to stop." He stayed quiet, probably listening.

I continued, "But he was just taking me there to leave me there. I don't know who you're leaving me with, but it's okay."

"Leandra, the only one giving you away is you." He finally told me, "It's going to take a lot more than a warning like that to change our minds about you."

I glanced up at him, suddenly unsure again. I found myself doubting my own doubt this time, instead of doubting my own trust.

It was so hard not to believe him. Maybe because I could tell that it didn't bother him if I believed him or not. He believed his own truth, and I could hear that in every word he said. His confidence again gave me confidence.

Oddly enough, I wanted to cry. Choosing to look away again, I didn't want him to see my emotion. It felt, to me, like my own doubt was hurting me. Like I wanted so badly to believe him, it caused me pain.

"The world's let you down, Leandra." He murmured, "There's no doubt about that, but soon enough, you'll see that none of us are like them."

"Yeah, well.." I whimpered stubbornly. I hated how small my voice had gotten.

"I know." He sighed.

He knew. He did know. Somehow I believed that much, but it was hard enough without knowing that.

"You're far too young." He continued, "Far too young to hold this amount of fear and this amount of uncertainty. It isn't fair what life has given you, Leandra, now why on Earth would anyone ever want to add to that?"

"For fun." I answered bitterly.

"Definitely not." He replied, "I know the kinds of people you're used to, but that's not me. Or my family. We're not the type to torture things purely for the fun of it."

"I want to believe you." I admitted quietly, shaking my head, "It's too much the same. I don't know why we're here, or where we're going, but I don't like it."

"I know you're uneasy." He allowed, "And with.. All the reason in the world, but you'll see. In time, you'll see."

I don't know how long we stood there in silence, but eventually, Jasper seemed to be getting impatient.

"Please go back in there, and have her hurry up." He requested, and I nodded. Immediately doing as he asked. I didn't mind. It gave me something to do besides cry or panic.

I rounded, and pushed open the door again. I couldn't blame him for getting impatient. I was too. Didn't she know we were apparently in a hurry?

"Bella?" I called ahead of myself. Letting the door close behind me.

To my further confusion, however, every stall was empty. All the doors open, none in use, but I was the only one in here. Further investigation found another exit door.

I came back out, pursing my lips a little.

"Um.." I wondered how mad he'd be, "She's not in there." I reported, and he frowned.

"Are you sure?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Positive." I said, "Maybe she got lost. There's another way out in there." He sighed heavily, and lifted me again. I stopped reasoning then, knowing it was about time to go. Alice was on her feet, waiting for us when we got back.

"What took so long?" She demanded, "And where's Bella?"

"She's gone." Jasper answered her, "You go look for her, and I'll get her settled." I didn't know what that was supposed to mean, but Alice gave a firm nod, lifting Bella's bag and heading off in the direction we'd just gone.

Jasper set me down, and handed me the ticket. Looking to me firmly as he also slid a couple of twenty dollar bills into my other hand. My hand closed around them instinctively, before I'd even noticed what else it was he was handing me, so I couldn't refuse it.

The pace had just picked up, and my I tensed. Clearing my mind, and paying closer attention to him than I was sure I wanted to at that point. I sensed the urgency, and I reacted.

"I need to know you can follow directions." He told me, and I nodded quickly, "Okay, take this, and hand it to her." He gestured to the lady at the desk up ahead, "She'll give it back to you." I nodded again, and he continued, "Go through that door, and down the hallway until you get to the plane."

The ticket was for me? They were sending me somewhere alone? I'd never been on a plane before. I hadn't the slightest clue what to expect.

"The first few rows of seats are where you want to sit. The third row of seats on your left is yours. If you still get confused, just ask one of the attendants, and they'll help you find it. Sit down, and wait. Don't move from that seat unless you really have to, okay?" I gave him a worried look, and he continued, "Once you get there, Esme will be waiting to pick you up."

I was so confused. Okay, so he was sending me somewhere, obviously back to Washington, given the location on the piece of paper I glanced at. Esme would be there? I had so many questions, but he wasn't giving me a chance to ask them.

"B-But, I-"

"Just go." He urged, and I took a breath, "You'll be fine."

"W-What about-"

"Leandra-"

"Alice promised me!" I was so suddenly upset. He gave a quick glance around, "She promised she would be there!"

"I know." He replied quietly, "We have one more thing to take care of here, and-"

"Save it." I grumbled, "I'll go." He sighed, but I continued, "And I don't need your damn money." I shoved it back at him. He looked like he was about to say something, but I turned before he could. Taking a deep breath, holding back my tears the best I could.

I held that breath, continuing on.

Slowly, I walked away. Looking back, he was already striding off in the opposite direction. I swallowed nervously, doing as he said. Handing the lady my ticket, she marked it, and handed it back to me. I assumed this was the right way, as she didn't try to stop me.

I followed his directions exactly, and found the seats he was talking about on my own. The ones up front. I sat down quickly, adjusted how I sat, and trained my eyes out the window. I was so nervous, watching the people outside.

On top of the nervousness of sitting there alone, never having been anywhere near a plane before, I was confused. Deeply lost, and hating the fact that Alice had gone back on what she told me.

Jasper had said that Esme would be there, but could I bother to believe him? I wanted to, but these thoughts blended easily with the thoughts that had crawled through my head the last two days or so. The doubt, the confusion.

I knew I'd barely gotten on in time, but it was still a surprise when I watched as they started closing the door so soon after I sat down. This was it. No way off of this thing. Instead of focusing on what the attendants were telling us, my mind was busy rolling through the possible reasons for all of this.

Was I that much trouble that I couldn't stay with them anymore? Was that what all this was about? Was I in the way, because I'd figured it out? Jasper said Esme would be there, but that could easily have been a lie. I was going back to Washington, but that could have been to anyone. It was odd that nobody went back with me, just to make sure I got to the right person, though.

I ignored the ones talking, lost in my thoughts.

Maybe their own guilt wouldn't let them come back with me. Maybe they couldn't bear to see, to watch someone else take me. That had to be it.

What bothered me the most, what really got to me, was that everyone had been in on this. Nobody had told me a thing, and both Esme and Carlisle had helped get me into the car. Maybe my wanting to be alone bothered them more than they let on. Maybe by wanting to be alone, they thought that I didn't want to be there anymore.

I thought again, despite how I didn't want to, about what I wanted most, and for just a second, I thought I might have found it here. I let myself start to think, during my day of thought in my room, that maybe these people could be different. All I wanted was to be wanted, but no.

Well, if that was the last of them I'd see, I wasn't sticking around for anyone to pick me up. I wasn't being given away again. I clenched my teeth, biting back my tears.

I looked around, jerked from my thoughts as the plane started moving.

After the nerve-wrattling part of taking off was done, it wasn't so bad.

Other kids in the seats further behind me were still crying half an hour later, as it was probably their first flight too, but I sat dry-eyed. Sure, I understood where it was easy to be scared, so I didn't think any less of those kids, but I wanted to tell them to just suck it up.

Now all I had to do was figure out how to pull this off, and learn how to stop feeling.

I sat there still trying to figure this out, nervously biting my lip as my eyes stayed out the window. Watching as the clouds below us became more frequent, and soon, there was no way to see the cities below through the clouds.

During a very brief moment of immaturity, I wished I could touch one of those clouds. Just to see what it felt like. Until I shook my head, and questioned my sanity. I did, however, thank my lucky stars that I wasn't afraid of heights, because I doubted I could ever get any higher up than I was right then.

I was asked once by an attendant where my guardian was. I gathered that I really wasn't supposed to be here on my own, so I only took a second to answer, "In the bathroom."

She never asked twice, though I was sure she noticed that no guardian ever showed up. Maybe because I was quiet, keeping to myself, she didn't care and let it slide. I was quieter than the brats with a guardian.

By the time we finally landed, I wasn't any closer to an answer, but my nervousness had tripled. I'd had just over three hours to convince myself further that they were only sending me to whoever they were giving me to. I wouldn't wait like a sitting duck just to find out who that was. That'd be stupid.

I hatched a plan, and I'd go through with it, because it was for the best.

If they wanted me gone that bad, I'd get so far out of the way, they wouldn't have to worry one bit, but there was one place I had to go first. It was just the first stop. One place I had to go, and one thing I needed to do first.

Every time I tried talking myself out of it, I always got back to deciding to go there.

I followed everyone else off the plane, right behind a rather large group. Just so I'd be a little hidden. I honestly had no idea if Esme was waiting or not, but I wasn't about to look around. I followed the largest moving group I could find away from where we'd gotten out.

After a few steps, however, I looked back. I could almost feel it, and it was almost enough to make me turn around and go back the other way. I knew that this, right there, was going to be a big decision.

This time, I told myself as I looked briefly for Esme. This time, my bad feelings will be wrong. I could do this. I could survive on my own. I sighed. I didn't see Esme anyway.

I stopped. I didn't know why I stopped, as I knew I needed to keep going, but the small spark of hope wouldn't let me keep going. I had to look again. I needed so badly to know if Jasper was telling me the truth. I needed so badly to know if Esme would come for me like he said.

I turned back around, searching the seats outside the door where I'd come out. I searched, and from where I stood, I couldn't see them all. I took one step, before the large group standing there sort of dissipated, and I found her.

Esme stood there, seeming very confused, and that was the second I knew I wasn't going anywhere. As much as I intended to go off, to go out on my own, that was instantly gone the second I saw her standing there. All the doubt, confusion and how upset I'd been instantly changed. Turning to relief, easing me.

The relief made me move. It made me start back the way I came, shifting everything but the relief to the back of my mind. My previous way of thinking only proved that just by seeing her, Jasper and Alice hadn't been lying to me. I finally saw for myself that I was okay. I was cared about. At least enough not to give me away, and that was enough.

I was running by the time she turned and saw me coming. Straight at her, I ran. I couldn't help it. I also couldn't help the tears that streamed down my cheeks, and the second I made it to her, I hugged her as tight as I could. The action probably would have knocked anyone off their feet, even with as light as I was, but she stayed steady. Returning the embrace without a second of hesitation.

I sobbed, cried into her side. I couldn't speak yet, otherwise, I'd have apologized. For everything. Crying on her, and doubting her. For doubting anyone, but she seemed to understand anyway.

"I heard." She told me, "Honey, you're not going anywhere." I knew that now. She kneeled down, making it much easier to hug her tighter.

That was it for the conversation for right then. She just picked me up, carrying me along with her.

"They weren't lying." I sobbed when I could, "They weren't."

"No," She replied, "They weren't lying, honey. I can see where you got that impression. Anyone can, but I promise. You're here to stay as long as possible, okay?"

I gasped through sobs, nodding a little.

"Are you hungry?" She asked me, and I had to think about it.

"Not really." I mumbled, still pretty emotional. I really didn't think I could handle eating anything after the last few days. Much less the plane ride, and how hard it was to calm down.

"We have to get back." She told me, "Rosalie is waiting." I nodded again, more than willing to get out of here. Once more grateful for being carried. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Just in times like now when I knew for a fact I couldn't keep up.

I did have to wonder, though. She carried me just as easily as Jasper had. I had to at least be a little heavy for her to hold. Then again, I wasn't used to being carried. Not at all, but it didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore.

Outside, oddly enough, I caught sight of one of the cars I recognized from their garage. Of course, they'd had to drive here.

"We're keeping her with us." Esme told Rosalie as I was let to my feet. At her urging, I climbed into the backseat, passed the passenger seat flipped forward.

"We're keeping her with us?" Rosalie seemed surprised.

"I can't very well leave her alone at home." Esme replied, climbing into the passenger seat once I was settled, "Besides. This is safest." The second Esme was seated and the door was shut, Rose started off. Rather quickly, which wanted to scare me.

"How is this safe?" Rosalie demanded in reply. She was obviously against it.

"This way, we know where she's at." Esme reasoned, "And I know that she's safe."

"But she's stinking up my car." She argued, her tone sounding like an odd mix of a whine and grumble, "I'm supposed to sit for how long with it?"

"I didn't have any clothes." I defended myself, "I couldn't take a bath." She sighed, looking back at me.

"That's not what I meant." She told me, "You're fine in that aspect." Then how did she mean?

"She can't help it, Rose." Esme defended me next, "You know that. We shouldn't be there very long, anyway. Just until the others get back."

Rosalie didn't argue again, choosing to shake her head and look forward instead. I followed her example, and looked out my window. Subtly, sniffing my shirt at the shoulder. It didn't smell all that bad to me. At least not bad enough to tell me I stunk.

She navigated the large city with ease, and as much as I wanted to figure all this out, my thoughts moved through my head as fast as the scenery did outside my window.

I kept quiet, not wanting to disrupt the silence.

Now that it was apparent I wasn't being given away, I could finally start to unwind. Even if it was around Rosalie who didn't seem to like me much. No, I corrected myself. I'd seen what it was like to not be liked. She didn't seem that way.

That was probably why I didn't take her attitude to heart. I just knew to stay out of her way, as much as I could anyway, and that was fine with me.

Apparently, we were going back to Forks, which surprised me for some reason. Rosalie made it seem like we'd be in the car forever, but I figured it out soon enough. We might have been back in Forks, but we weren't going back to the house.

"I hate how long that took." Rosalie grumbled, parking on the side of a street I didn't recognize. She shut off the car, which confused me for a moment. I bit my lip instead, choosing not to comment on what she said. I felt bad that I somehow kept pissing her off. Without even really trying.

"He's fine." Esme assured her, "I know you take your tasks seriously, Rose, but please try not to take it out on Leandra." Despite my confusion, I couldn't make myself ask any questions about what we were doing here.

Thankfully, I got instructions. Esme turned slightly in her seat and looked at me.

"Just sit tight." She told me, "Okay?" I nodded. I could agree with that. If I wasn't being given away, I could sit tight all day. Well, bruises permitting.

From there, the silence dragged on, and in the settled moment, I knew I'd be okay. There was bound to be unsettling moments and issues later on, but I felt confident again. I felt confident that the ground had stopped moving for the time being, and I could stand again.

I'd had yet to feel that way, always struggling to get used to where I was and who I was with. Now that I gained just a bit of my confidence back, however small of an amount I'd had before, I could finally take a deep breath and just know.

Maybe I didn't have to be so afraid.

From my seat in the back, I looked to Esme. Just that movement, though, seemed to make me dizzy. Just slightly, just enough to notice as my thoughts started to run again. Twice as fast as before, moving through my head before I really had much of a chance to notice them or look at them too long, which started a dull ache in my mind I wasn't used to feeling. An ache in a part of my head that I hadn't felt since the morning I woke up.

I took a quick, surprised breath. Pressing my palm to my forehead, which Esme seemed to notice.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her gaze moving to mine.

I sat forward, my thoughts continued. Dizzily, running around, never stopping. Restless, despite how physically, I sat so still. Running me around in circles again, like mice trapped inside a shoe box. Like someone was shaking the box, keeping them running around in panic. The pain in my head increased double the longer I kept my eyes open. I tried to focus on one thing, one thought at a time, but I couldn't.

It felt so much like my mind was trying to work overtime. I had no control over it, no way to stop it, so I knew it was pointless to try to focus. I just let go. Taking a breath, I let my thoughts go where they wanted to go. I let them go, no longer attempting to stop them or control their direction.

"Leandra?" Esme murmured.

Suddenly, just like that, I could remember. I saw, I remembered.

Back in the beginning. I remembered just how different this was than last time, and I remembered just about everything from the start. It was overwhelming at first, but that quickly sorted itself. I remembered.

I remembered now, how it had happened before.

"Out." I whimpered, "I need out."

"Is she going to throw up?" Rosalie seemed alarmed, but I wasn't paying much attention to that. Esme climbed out quickly, and I scrambled out behind her. I honestly wasn't sure if I was going to throw up or not, but I knew I couldn't breathe. I needed air.

I moved forward two steps passed Esme before my knees hit the grass. My tears started with one quick, breathless sob.

I remembered how it was supposed to be. That day, the day of the field trip, I was supposed to hit Rachel. That's how it was supposed to go, but I didn't. Choosing not to hit her changed absolutely everything. Taking me down a completely separate path I could never turn around on. Despite the way that I could clearly see just how the other path looked now. At least, from where I was on my path, anyway.

I remembered all the things that happened. I remembered Carlisle, and I remembered just how much he meant to me. I remembered relying completely on him, more than I had now. I remembered the family, much different then than it was now. Then, I had a lot more time to trust them. I remembered them, and I remembered the support. I remembered everything about them, and how it happened before.

"Leandra?" Esme was there beside me, and I turned my crying eyes to hers, "What's wrong? What is it, sweetie?" I knew I was probably scaring her, but I couldn't speak. Rosalie stood behind her, but she looked around us. For what, I didn't know, but she was keeping watch.

Esme gently smoothed the tears from my cheeks, but they just replaced themselves half a second later. I looked away, turned away from her hand, but it wasn't in a way that at all signified I didn't appreciate it. I just needed to look around. Somewhere besides at her. I lowered my head instead, squeezing my eyes shut.

I remembered something else.

Slowly lifting my head, this sudden remembered memory answered so many of the questions. The ones I knew I had, and the ones I didn't know I had. It solved the confusion, and it sent ice through my veins at the same time. I knew not to be scared, but remembering this, it made me see so much more.

They were vampires.

That was the thing, the one thing that made them so different. Because they were different. That made all the questions I had suddenly make sense, and I took a breath. How cold they were, why they never ate. Never slept. How quiet, reserved they were.

All the little hints, all the things I said that they found funny. That was myself, trying to tell me. Trying to make me remember.

Jasper, the one not nearly as used to humans as the others were. That's why my staying there would have bothered him. Emmett, the bear. His preference in animals to hunt. He'd never hurt me. Alice, Esme, Rose. All of them. They were all vampires, but they weren't like the rest of their kind. They were different, and they were mine.

How much they'd meant to me, even from the beginning, was why I felt such a sense of loss when I'd woken up. Just remembering it had me suddenly melt into a sob, gasping quietly toward the ground.

I pushed further, and could only see such a short distance more before I was suddenly blocked. There was more. I knew there was more, but I couldn't see it yet. My mind already overwhelmed by remembering everything I had already remembered so far.

I knew why we were here. Why Alice and Jasper had whisked Bella and I off to Arizona. I couldn't remember before, because it was different this time, but the reason was the same. I remembered the red-eyed man I saw before I had to leave with them. What was his name? I had to search a little harder for that, but I found it. Laurent.

Alice and Jasper were trying to get Bella and Edward back together at the airport, but sent me back at the same time to keep me safer. With Bella missing, neither one had time to explain. They couldn't anyway.

Esme had just enough time to swing by the airport to retrieve me before both she and Rose had to come back here to Forks to watch over Bella's dad. That's the part I wasn't included in before. It was only explained to me afterwards, which was how I knew about vampires at all.

I hoped I wasn't losing it. Was it possible to be driven insane at only nine years old? As if insanity had an age limit. An age restriction that somehow overlooked those too young to know any better.

Those memories of the dream I had that night seemed so incredibly impossible, they couldn't be real, but I knew. They were real. I was so sure that it was true. It was true, and I firmly believed it.

I sobbed quietly again, looking back to Esme. I knew she had to see what it was in my expression. I couldn't hide it, or change it. Her expression only grew more concerned, until I reached over and hugged her.

It was amazing and terrifying at the same time to hug her now, remembering all I remembered of the dream, and remembering all I remembered of this time now. It seemed to make her twice as important to me. She was the same person.

"What is going on?" Rosalie asked this time, obviously impatient. I couldn't blame her. I just wanted to hold onto Esme for as long as I could now. Having lost her for the amount of time I had, I wanted to make up for it.

She'd been there. I finally remembered her. That was a huge thing for me.

"Leandra?" Esme asked again.

"I remember." I sobbed into her shoulder, and that was obviously all I had to say. I felt her tense at first, and I felt her look up at Rosalie beside us.

"What do you remember?" Rosalie asked.

"Everything." I whimpered, struggling to stop my tears, "A-Alice.. She and Jasper weren't trying to give me away. I remember.. I know why we're here." I hesitated. Knowing that I couldn't go into more detail than that where anyone could possibly overhear, even with as isolated as we were.

When she realized I wasn't running from her, Esme returned the hug again. Holding me tighter, which I appreciated, and hugged her tighter in response.

It took me quite awhile to allow myself to let her go, but when I looked at her this time, I saw her differently. It was almost enough to make me cry again, but I managed to hold it back.

"This is so weird." I whimpered through left-over sobs, shaking my head.

"Come on, honey." Esme helped me up, and I knew she had questions. I crawled back into the backseat willingly, and soon enough, the two front seats were occupied again. The second both doors were closed, they both looked to me again.

I looked right back to them.

"What do you remember?" Rosalie was the one to demand, but Esme gave her a look. Probably at the tone she used.

"Everything." I answered anyway, my voice still trembling in emotion, "This happened before."

"_What_ happened?" She frowned. She was both confused and frustrated, which was a bad thing for Rose to be.

"J-Just.. Hang on." I whined, "I just doubled my memories in a second. J-Just.. Let me think." I held my breath, holding my head in my hands. The ache in my head was almost dull enough to ignore, but not quite. I could still feel it. It wasn't unbearable, I'd actually felt worse, but it still got my full attention.

"Think we should call Alice?" Rose was the one to ask that, surprisingly, but her eyes were on Esme, directing that question to her.

"No." I answered instead, "She's probably busy. I-I just.." I trailed off, unfortunately for more tears. The mixture of emotions between last time, and this time were overwhelming me. Knowing what little I knew now of last time, in the dream, the changes that had taken place, took me off guard.

I didn't need to be afraid of them, and I wasn't. I wasn't afraid of them, but I was afraid. What would me finally remembering change?

I didn't doubt anymore. I no longer doubted my ability, because I was pretty sure I wasn't insane, but that wouldn't be confirmed until I knew whether or not they were what I remembered them to be.

They still needed an answer, though. I knew that much, but I wasn't sure how to go about telling them when I could barely breathe.

"Don't rush yourself, sweetie." Esme saw me struggling, and that helped a lot. She would wait.

"Carlisle." I eventually murmured, "I need to talk to him first, before I say anything."

"Honey, he's-"

"Busy in Arizona, I know." I muttered, "I mean after. When they get back. I have to talk to him first."

As it turned out, I really didn't have to wait long at all. Edward would be staying behind until Bella was okay enough to bring back, but everyone else would be coming back the following morning. With a very brief conversation with Alice, they were given the go-ahead to take me home.

To think I'd see them the next day made me nervous. I had no idea why, but I did know that I'd see them differently. Like I used to see them, and not as the ones I met now. There was a huge difference in them now. I knew what they were.

The moment we got home, nobody had to tell me again. Before even wanting to eat anything, I headed for the bathroom for a bath. I had to admit, though, that I did feel better once I was clean and in clean clothes again. Spending three days in my clothes really started to bug me after awhile.

Once I was clean and fed, I really did feel better. Neither Rose or Esme pressed me for any answers. Rose disappeared pretty much the second we got back, so that could have been why, but Esme never really brought it up, aside from offering support and giving me something for the persistent headache I had.

I found I slept better than I had in days. Since I'd been here, oddly enough. As if before, my mind had been too busy to let me rest, but now that I had recalled a bit of what I needed to recall, I could rest for a little while.

Alice and Jasper were the first to return, not long after I woke up early the following morning. As I predicted, it was so hard to figure out how to act. No longer just a feeling, but now I knew I did know them.

Aside from a glance here or there, I couldn't look at Jasper. Shame at my behavior keeping my gaze on my hands in my lap. Alice sat beside me, no doubt curious, but I wouldn't give her any more of an answer than I'd given Esme.

"Just a hint?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

She sighed, "We've got to stop keeping secrets. Especially when I can help you."

"I know you can." I shrugged a little, "But I want to talk to him first."

I didn't have to wait long for him and Emmett either. Both had obviously been filled in, because Emmett grinned first thing when he spotted me, but Carlisle seemed hesitant.

"I hear you're running them around in circles again, shorty." Emmett muttered, sitting beside me. He took my attention for a moment, and I couldn't help smiling a little.

Noticing, he laughed, "What?"

"Nothing." I mumbled, shaking my head. I looked to Carlisle again. He seemed to understand, nodding to me, so I stood up. I slowly crossed the room to his side, standing there for a moment before emotion suddenly caught up to me.

"Can I do one thing first?" I asked quietly, "Please?"

"Of course," He replied, confused, "But what?" I wasted no time. I hugged onto his side as tightly as I could.

In the dream, or vision, he'd been the one I trusted most. More than Esme, more than anyone. He'd been the one I'd built the attachment to, and oddly enough, I found that I missed that now. I missed how much I trusted him, and I wanted to get that back before I took one more step with anyone else, so he was the only one I was willing to talk to first. More than Esme, more than Alice. Of course, the attachments I'd built to them would last, but I wanted this one back, too.

Surprised, he returned the embrace. I was sure he understood to a point, but there was no way he'd ever fully understand what he meant to me right from the beginning. I blinked only slow tears from my eyes, taking a deep breath and stepping back.

I led the way up the stairs after a few more silent moments, and I knew he followed me. I found his office easily, which had to tell him something. Especially when I had never been upstairs here yet. This went beyond just feeling familiar now. This was knowing, actually knowing where everything was. I now knew this house as well as I did when I learned it the first time.

I stood in the center of the room for a moment as he quietly closed the door behind him. Probably waiting.

I could tell he was curious, but cautious. The only time I'd been alone with him was the second hotel we stayed at on the way back here, but that hadn't been my choice. This was my choice, my request. There was just something about knowing he'd never, ever hurt me that changed me and how I looked at him. How I saw him, and as weird as I thought it was, I didn't question it.

"You helped me." I started quietly, and he waited, "Last time." That seemed to make him understand as he looked down, "You were the first one there."

"You're remembering?" He asked, probably to confirm.

"I remember everything that happened.." I trailed off for a second, "Up until a few weeks from now. I remember the different things, and the things that stayed the same. I know how crazy that sounds-"

"Not at all." He replied immediately, and I smiled a little. Nodding, and looking down. Trying to gather my thoughts again.

"Some things stayed the same." I continued, "But most of it is different. Before, I never had to go to California. You had taken me in before I had to. Jack was caught before. You took me in the same day of the field trip where I saw Alice. You had to come to the school to look at me, because I kicked Rachel's ass, and you noticed too many things to let go."

I hesitated, watching for his reaction as he watched for mine.

"You got me to admit it to you." I added quietly, "You did. I don't know exactly how you did it, but you did. They were going to send me to a group home until a foster family could be found for me. You volunteered to take me in, because I trusted you so much.

"That's when it all really started. Everything changed when I never hit Rachel that day." I turned to pace a little, "I walked away instead, and you never had to be called. I had to go home. I knew when I walked away that I was changing something, but it was just a feeling then. I've had a few feelings like that since then, but I never really knew what it meant."

"What happened?" He asked, and I knew what he meant. What happened before? That was a loaded question. What was the shortened version?

"Last time, I'd had a lot more time to get used to this place." I continued, "More than I did this time. I trusted everyone so much this time, because last time, I got to trust them right away, but.." I paused for a breath, "The same thing happened then. With James. It changed a little bit when Alice took me with them this time, instead of you dropping me off somewhere."

He stayed quiet. To him, this was the most I'd ever talked to him, but to me, this was nothing. I still had a lot more. I just didn't know how to get onto that subject, but thankfully, I was given a way.

"Jasper," I muttered after a minute, "Stop it. That's not fair." I knew he had heard me. I still had yet to confirm it, but Carlisle's reaction seemed to confirm it for me.

He didn't say anything at first, hardly moving. Sudden stillness. A typical surprised reaction of his. I finally looked up, watching him again as he watched me. Studying him for any signs that I was wrong. I sure didn't find any.

"You remember?" He finally asked, and slowly, I nodded again, "Can you tell me what all you remember?" I knew what he wanted to know. Relief that it seemed that I was right made it almost easy to talk to him. I smiled a little, unable to keep it back.

I shouldn't be smiling, which was how I knew Jasper kept it up.

"Before," I mumbled, "Everything was different. It didn't happen this way."

I sniffled, looking down briefly. Sorting through the confusing memories.

"I spent the week here," I continued, "Nothing else that happened now happened then, except James. That happened just like it did before, except then, you explained. You told me." That seemed to make him nervous, so I quickly continued.

"You were honest with me then, because while you tried to hide me at someone's house, I figured it out." I murmured, "I figured it out on my own, but you helped. From what you told me before we left, I figured out what you couldn't tell me, so I demanded that you explain. So.." I hesitated, "I found out. All about.. V-Vampires, and why you're so different."

I stumbled on the word, half worried he'd think I was insane. Now was when I'd figure out if it was true or not. I looked up at him hesitantly. He didn't seem amused. He seemed nervous.

He didn't speak now, probably gauging my reaction.

"I'm not scared of you." I finally told him, "I'm not. I still trust all of you just like I always have, except now, I know why. I remember how much you meant to me, to trust you enough to tell you outright like that, but that isn't the same as it is now." I sighed, "That's why when I woke up, I felt so sad, because I lost that. I didn't have the trust anymore, and I didn't have you anymore. I didn't have you, I had nobody. Until I found Alice at the school that day. I didn't remember any of this up until I sat there with Rose and Esme."

Silence.

"There's more." I mumbled, looking down, "So much more happens, but I can't remember it yet. I do remember, though, where I was before I woke up." I offered that, hoping he'd continue to listen. He gave me a nod, letting me know to continue.

"It's weird, because I remember the beginning, before, and I remember the last thing I saw." I paused for a breath, "That's why I was so surprised when I woke up, because I was here. The last thing I saw before I woke up, I was sitting out there. Out front. On the steps. I wasn't by myself. Everyone was with me." I frowned a little, trying to describe it, "I remember.. Being confused when I started to feel pain again, and I remember.. Wondering if something had happened, but it was only me waking up." He was quiet, so I continued.

"I was seventeen." I admitted hesitantly, "I was seventeen before I woke up back on my bedroom floor."

"That must have been so disorienting." He finally spoke, and I nodded.

"Nothing in the world like it." I replied, "I can't remember what we were all doing outside, or who everyone else was, but I remember. I was here. I was out there. I was here, and I remember everything I need to know now, so you don't have to worry about telling me, and getting into.. Trouble.." I trailed off. Slowly frowning, as I thought. My gaze on the rug now.

"What is it?" He asked, seeing my change, and I glanced to him.

"There's one more thing." I mumbled, my frown still in place. What was the name? The name of the reason I said that? I knew his name now. I saw his face, and I knew his name. I knew him before I remembered anything else.

"Aro." I muttered, looking up. Just remembering his name, the thought of the person behind the name made me shudder. I wanted to say more, but I couldn't. I couldn't remember where I remembered his name from, or why, but he was obviously a real person, given Carlisle's surprise.

"Who?" He asked, and I bit my lip for a moment.

"Aro." I repeated, "I don't like him. He's the one I remember that I don't like."

He turned suddenly, crossing the room. I watched after him, watching as he turned to face me. Gesturing to a single painting on the wall.

"Is this him?" He asked firmly, giving me a single nod, and despite how nervous I was, I couldn't clearly see from where I was, so I started over. I shakily crossed the room after him. Stepping carefully, nervously, until I reached his side.

I took another look, and despite how I'd never seen the men in the painting before, I knew immediately who Aro was.

"Him." I said immediately, taking half a step back. Hesitantly, I pointed to the one in front of the others, "That's Aro." My heart pounded uncomfortably as I continued looking. An involuntary shiver rolled down my back, and I crossed my arms over my stomach insecurely. Something like a very mild form of panic settled into my stomach, and I bit my lip, "That's him."

He watched me closely, probably for what he knew I would say next. I pointed to the other two in the painting now, individually.

"Caius." I said, "And Marcus." I stepped closer, looking harder for a moment, before shaking my head and looking back up at Carlisle.

"You remember them?" I nodded at his question. There was no doubt about it, but it was hard to figure out if I knew them from the beginning of my time with them last time, or the end, before I woke up. They had no place right then. Just me remembering the fear they gave me, their names, and what they looked like.

"Just them." I murmured, "I don't remember why I know them, though. Not yet. It wasn't Laurent that I remembered. It was Aro."

I took a breath, looking down again. I needed to get back onto the subject, and say what I needed to say.

"I waited." I mumbled, "I wanted to talk to you first. Before anyone else, because.. Well.." I hesitated, "Well, you were the one I stayed away from most. I don't want that anymore." I paused, shamefully keeping my eyes down, "I think I stayed away from you most, because I missed you. I was afraid.. To lose you again."

This had to be the weirdest thing for him, even with knowing Alice. It was weird for me, too. This confession was the weirdest thing I'd ever confessed, and it was hard on me, because I was scared. I didn't know how he'd react, to be honest. I waited for him to turn, and walk away, but he just stood there for a second.

"I was afraid, because nothing was the same anymore." I added quietly, shaking my head at the carpet, "Everything was different, but I didn't know why."

I was surprised, to say the least, when he finally hugged me. Instead of being bothered by it, though, I returned it. I felt like I'd fixed a few things by explaining all of this to him, which eased me a great deal. It finally felt like I was on the right track.

"I'm not afraid of you." I had to make sure he understood how much that meant to me to say. It wasn't just trying to ease him. It was a surprised statement. Like I almost couldn't believe it myself.

"It's okay." He offered, which was probably the only thing he could have said at that point.

"You don't have to hide anymore." I mumbled, stepping back to look up at him, "You don't have to hide, or worry. I remember now. It can work. It worked before."

"I'm glad." He smiled a little, "You seem confident." I was sure glad that he seemed eased. That I could help him in some way.

"I am." I nodded a little, "I don't mean to make anyone hurt, but I can try my best to help." His expression softened with his next smile, and he sighed. I took a breath, "I.. Kinda wanted to ask you a favor, too." I mumbled, and he met my eyes. Apparently, I just couldn't stop bugging him.

"Anything." He replied quietly.

"Well, it's more like two favors." I admitted, remembering. I waited, and when he didn't protest, I continued, "One, don't tell my dad I'm here. It would be a whole lot easier for him if he didn't know." He frowned.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to go with him." I replied, "And from what I remember, it.. Really doesn't work out."

"It didn't work out then." He reasoned and I looked up.

"It still won't." I said. "A week ago, I could still let you all go. Now that I remember, it's impossible." He smiled a little, nodding as he looked down, "The other thing.. Um.." I studied my hands in my lap, "If Jack ever does get caught, don't make me go to a trial." He frowned again.

"They shouldn't make you go at all."

"Last time, they did." I mumbled, "He probably made sure of that somehow, but it doesn't go so good, and I don't want that to happen again." He nodded again, believing me, "It's just.. I.. Remember now why I don't trust them to keep me safe. That's the reason." My voice quieted, "But it's different this time. I wish I knew how to explain it right."

I shook my head, forcing myself to think straight again.

"This must be so weird for you." I looked up at him.

"I've encountered far stranger things, Leandra." He assured me, and I believed him, smiling a little, "I'm actually quite amazed. I'd heard of abilities like yours developing while one is still human, but never heard of it in one as young as you are."

"I think it's been there my whole life." I admitted, "Just small things, really. Nothing like this before."

"I'd like you to know that you can talk to us." He told me, "At any time. Nobody here will judge you."

"Thanks." I nodded a little, "I know Alice can't wait."

"It's hard to find anyone with that specific gift, Leandra." He chuckled a little, "She's pretty excited, I have to admit. She's waited for a confirmation since she met you, but she will wait until you're ready to discuss it before questioning too thoroughly." I laughed a little.

"I bet that wasn't her idea, huh?"

"Esme helped." He allowed.

With one last glance to the painting on the wall, I tried to suppress the nervousness it caused, and walked with Carlisle from the room.

We found the living room just as Carlisle's phone rang. He quietly excused himself, and I nodded a little. Despite the room having more than him in it, Emmett's smirk was the first thing I saw, and embarrassed, I looked down.

"So the cat's out of the bag." He spoke up, and I shrugged.

"I guess so." I muttered in reply.

"See?" He asked, and I looked up. His eyes were on Jasper and Alice, "I told you shorty would be fine with it." I couldn't help smiling at that.

"You always used to call me that." I finally told him, "At least one thing is the same."

"I'm happy to help." He chuckled, and I smiled a little more.

"I am glad you finally remember." Jasper offered, and I looked to him, "I thought it would create more problems than solve them, but what you said made me see differently."

"With me in on it, I can help." I reasoned, "I get why you couldn't tell me, but a hint would have been nice."

"Leandra?" I looked over as Carlisle returned, Esme in tow. His expression was nervous again, "That was Charlie."

"And?" I murmured, nervous as well. What would Charlie want? "Aw, dammit." I suddenly remembered, "I don't want to go with him."

"Who?" Emmett had obviously not been focusing on the call in the kitchen.

"I won't go with him." I shook my head, "I don't even know him."

"I'm sure he just wants to fix that." Esme tried, but it didn't work. I shook my head.

"He and Charlie are on their way over." Carlisle told me, and I whined.

Uh-uh. That wouldn't fly. I wouldn't stand for it, and I needed them to understand why. My dad was someone who I didn't have a single, solid memory of, him having left me when I was little. They knew that part, but I wasn't willing to leave where I was now, just to risk attempting anything with him. He wasn't worth it to me.

"I'll just run away." I warned, "I won't stay with him."

"Who is it?" Alice seemed just as confused.

"My dad." I finally answered, glancing to her across the room and crossing my arms.

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long. Holy crap. Lots going on around here, and still recovering, so I haven't been entirely lazy.  
>I'm sorry if this seems rushed in places. It was a challenge.<br>THANK YOU to my AMAZINGLY patient reviewers! I hope this didn't take too long lol  
>Chapter fourteen is in the works, but might take a little time. Considering this chapter was so new, and changed everything quite a bit. I ask for continued patience. :)<br>Until Fourteen, my friends! :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"You're against seeing your father?" Alice asked.

"Not seeing him." I muttered, shaking my head, "I can see him, but I won't go with him." I sighed, looking to Carlisle, "I asked you too late, didn't I?" About not telling my dad I was here. It wasn't really up to him, anyway. It was probably Charlie that filled him in.

"Why don't you want to go with him?" Alice asked before he could reply, "Don't you want to be with family?"

"He's not family." I replied, "I don't even know him. What I do remember of him, from my dream, is that me going with him doesn't go so well. I don't like it there, and I get mad, because I want to be here. I'll see him. That's okay, but I won't go with him."

"Think she'll get a choice?" Alice asked, looking to Carlisle as well.

"If she were to be allowed to stay here," He answered, "It'd have to be him that decides to allow it. He'll need to give up his rights to her."

"He has rights to me?" I frowned, "Even though he hasn't been there for most of my life?"

"He's your biological father." He replied, "He does have his parental rights to you, and if they called on him, it means they still stand. You'll need to convince him to let you remain here." I nodded, "If you're truly against it, I won't try to change your mind, and you know you'll have a place here, but I must at least ask you to reconsider."

"Why?" I muttered, "Yeah, he's human, but I don't know him. All I remember of him last time, was us fighting all the time. I don't want that. I'm kind of tired of fighting with someone."

With a sigh, Carlisle nodded.

"I'm sure he'll understand."

"I really hope so." I whined, sitting down, "Can't I just run away?"

"That reminds me." Jasper spoke up. I winced, but had a feeling this was coming.

"Yeah." I mumbled. It was quiet for several moments, until I finally spoke again, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" He asked.

"I was going to." I admitted, "I really was gonna run away, because I thought you were sending me to someone else, but I saw Esme."

"You saw for yourself that we weren't lying to you." He added, and I nodded a little. I had seen for myself, but I had to wonder. What would have happened had I not seen for myself?

"I'm glad I went with her." I mumbled, "I'm glad I didn't run off, because that's where I remembered everything."

"How did you finally remember?" Alice asked, and I could tell she'd been wanting to know that for awhile now. I didn't mind her asking about this now. It distracted me from what was about to happen.

"I don't know." I sighed, "I just.. I'm not sure how to explain it right. I just stopped trying so hard, I guess. I usually think a lot. I've always been that way, and sometimes my mind has trouble slowing down, but yesterday, I stopped trying to slow it down." She nodded, seeming to understand, "I let it think what it wanted to think, and it gave me that. It wasn't easy, though, so I can't just do that all the time, but I'm not complaining."

"And you said this all happened before?" She asked, "Exactly the same?"

"I guess so." I replied, "But it wasn't exactly the same. It was a little different. I was dropped off somewhere while everyone else left. That was where I first figured it out."

"Maybe it has something to do with the timing in the vision?" She suggested, "You figured it out on your own last time, so you recalled it this time."

"Maybe." I allowed with a shrug, "But I had help last time. Carlisle wouldn't explain it until after. He did give me a hint, though, and that's what made me figure it out." I sighed, smoothing a wrinkle from my sleeve, "I guess I just need to start listening to myself now."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"It's just a feeling," I answered, "But I can tell when I should or shouldn't do something. Like.. Yesterday, I had a feeling that I needed to stop and look again. I did, and I saw Esme. I wasn't going anywhere after that."

"The question is, where would you have ended up had you kept going?" She pointed out.

"Exactly." I mumbled, "I was going to go back to Sappho. Just long enough to get some clothes. After that, I don't know."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't." She sighed, "Do you know how hard it'd have been to find you?"

"I knew that." I replied, "That's why I was going to do it."

* * *

><p>"So, shorty." Emmett spoke up, "You excited?"<p>

"No." I muttered bitterly, "I'd rather go hide somewhere."

"Why?" He asked, "It's your dad. I'm kinda looking forward to meeting him."

"Why?" I asked in return, frowning.

"I guess I'm just not as against him as you are." He replied.

"As far as I care, he's just as worthless as my mom is." I grumbled, "I don't even really remember him."

"I'm sure there are circumstances you're not considering here, Leandra." Alice added, and I shrugged a little, "Parts of the situation that you don't know. For example, your mother. Something had to have gone wrong."

"I don't need to know everything to know that she's worthless." I pointed out, "I hate her so much for what she did."

"What do you hate her for, Leandra?" Jasper asked, slowly sitting down, "This much anger isn't good for you to hold onto."

"I hate her for ignoring me." I answered, "It's her fault I grew up how I did."

"It's true." He said, "She does hold a lot of the blame, but you're resting it all on her, and that's not how it should be. It's only natural for you to be angry, Leandra, but there are so many other factors that you're not taking into consideration."

"Like what?"

"You've been wronged for so long, it's hard to figure out which way to blame." He explained calmly, "There's your father, of course, for leaving you. He never should have done that, but somehow, I sense it wasn't entirely his choice."

"How could it not be his choice?"

"You've met Jack before." He said, "You tell me." I never even thought of it like that before. Jack always got what he wanted. Usually without much effort on his part.

"And your mother." Jasper continued, sighing, "I can't speak for her, as I don't know her, but it sounds to me like leaving was never her idea." I frowned a little.

"The day she left was the day Alice saw her." I explained quietly, "Before school. When I got home, she was gone."

"Maybe she had to leave in a hurry, Leandra." Jasper offered, "Maybe it was the one chance she had, and she didn't have a chance to wait for you to get home. Maybe she thought that by leaving, she would be doing you a favor."

I shrugged again, "I don't know how that could happen, but then again, I never know what she could be thinking."

"Do you remember what it was like for you?" He asked, and I looked up, "When you had to leave in a hurry?"

"I won't ever forget what that was like." I mumbled, shaking my head a little.

"What if she was just as scared?" I couldn't reply to that, "Would that not matter?"

I thought about how to answer. Pursing my lips for a moment. I couldn't, so I just looked up. Hoping he could understand how I felt just by looking at me. The reasons didn't matter to me. I didn't care about why she did it. I only cared about the fact that she did it at all. That's all that mattered to me.

"She left me a long time ago." I grumbled bitterly, rubbing my arm insecurely.

"So," He said, "You're saying that if she was ever found, you'd not want to see her?"

"Never." I murmured, shaking my head, "She made her choice. It's not my job to forgive her. I don't know where she's gone, but I don't care. I hope she stays there."

I was stuck. This was one subject that would lead me around in circles. Always bringing me back to that one single emotion. That one split second when I decided I hated her so much.

I was sorry for it, but that didn't change how I felt.

"And your father?" Carlisle asked after a moment, "What about him?"

"What about him?" I asked in return, "He made his choice, too."

"Was he there?" Jasper asked, "Before?" He meant in the vision.

"Yes." I mumbled, "He was there."

"What can you tell me about him?"

"He's got a new wife." I murmured, "A new daughter. He lives far away, and if I don't change his mind, he'll want to take me."

"And that's a problem for you?" Carlisle asked, I nodded immediately, "Why?"

"I hate him too." I admitted, "I hate him just as much. I won't go. I want to stay here."

"You see our dilemma." He murmured, "Because he's your biological father, we have no grounds to prevent that."

"Then.." I mumbled, "I'll just have to convince my dad to give me up. I hate him. I won't go with him."

"I'm glad you suggested that." Carlisle nodded. He spoke quietly, "It directly depends on how this meeting goes. Do you understand?" How would I do this? Convincing him to let me stay seemed so impossible to me.

Just as he finished speaking, a knock at the front door caught his attention. The second I heard that, I stood up, and rounded the table to Carlisle's side. Between him and Esme, before she started forward.

I was scared now. I really didn't want to see him. I didn't want to hurt him, but I would. I hated him so much, just like I hated my mom. I blamed him, and nothing would ever change that.

Also just like with her, I didn't care what his reasons were. The only excusable explanation for leaving me behind like he did, was death. If he'd died, then I'd understand. Everything else, was just an excuse. Excuses he was hiding behind.

Carlisle sighed, lifting me. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, just like I always remembered doing. Before, in the vision. It comforted me slightly to do this, not letting go. Jasper stayed beside us, his eyes on me.

I didn't want to see my dad, so I closed my eyes. Keeping them closed, holding tighter.

"She's a little shaken up." Carlisle explained away my behavior.

"I hope you understand why we're here?" Someone else's voice took my attention. I didn't recognize his voice, so I slowly turned around. Curiously gazing over at the man standing back. He must have been from the state, given the folders in his hand, and the way he watched both my dad, and me closely.

Esme stood beside this new man, watching us as well. I purposefully avoided looking at the man to his other side. Somehow looking at him would make him real. Hiding again briefly. I didn't want to see him.

"Completely." Carlisle replied, "It's just a little hard for her."

"Of course." The new man replied gently, "I can't say I blame her much."

It took me a minute, nobody rushing me. I couldn't help the few tears that managed to well in my eyes, grateful for the way they didn't fall. Crying, to me, showed weakness. I hated doing that.

"Just give a look, shorty." Emmett offered, and though I hesitated, I had to take his advice.

With that, I hesitantly looked at my dad.

I met his eyes, and I recognized myself. I looked just like him, which was surprising to see. Even with the way I remembered him from the vision. Not actually seeing him for over six years, hardly remembering him from so long ago was still a difficult thing to get over now.

I looked at him, and he looked at me, and I just felt the emotion. Honestly, I didn't know what to feel. This was my father. I wouldn't be alive it weren't for him. That was both a strange thought, and also a very irritating one. He was the one that was supposed to be raising me. Not Jack. He was the one that was supposed to have been there, but he split. He ran away!

My whole life I'd imagined what this would be like, actually seeing him in front of me. I'd imagined, went over and over what I would say to him. What I would do. Now that he was actually here, I couldn't do a thing.

Hesitantly, I looked to Carlisle.

"I don't know." I admitted in a whimper, shaking my head.

"It's okay." He assured me, "Take your time."

The same pressure, the same resentment and bitterness I'd always felt toward my mom now take hold on the man across the room.

"Leandra." He spoke, seeming hesitant as well, but he laughed, "Look at you." I heard his voice, and it was familiar. Just like with everybody else in that vision now, I knew him. I knew him, and I didn't want to hurt him. I squeezed my eyes shut, hating the hurt I felt at just the sound of his voice.

I didn't say anything in return, carefully letting myself fall to my feet. The second I landed, he kneeled down. What was I supposed to say to him?

He seemed amazed, just looking at me.

"You've grown so much." He spoke again.

"That's what happens when you don't see somebody." I mumbled before I could stop myself.

"I know." He replied, his expression softened, "Believe me, I know. I would have been right there if I'd have been able to."

I shook my head, looking down. He was going to give me some excuse about his divorce with my mother, but that didn't explain anything about why he wasn't there.

This was _so_ hard.

"You weren't there." I shook my head again, "Not once."

"I'm not surprised you don't remember." He replied, his tone quiet, "I'll be honest. I don't quite know what to say to you, or even how to begin fixing it, but I'm willing to try." Like that helped.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett offered when I stayed quiet, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't say anything to help him. I didn't want to. I was glad he suffered.

"I loved you." My dad told me, "Your entire life."

"Then _why_ weren't you there?" I couldn't fix my sharp tone, "That doesn't mean anything to me."

"I know it doesn't." He replied, quicker now in response to my emotion, "I know. If I could have taken you with me, I would have. In a heartbeat, but-"

"Why'd you leave me there?" I demanded quietly, "You should have done something. You should have come back, but you didn't. You never did."

"I wanted to." He told me, "God, you have no idea how much, but I couldn't."

"You keep saying that, but why?" I mumbled, "_Why_?"

"I was so stupid." He sighed, shaking his head, "I messed up, Leandra. I was young, impulsive, and because of that, I lost you. For good. Without your mom agreeing to let me see you, there was nothing I could do. You were hers."

"I was Jack's." I argued, "I was never hers. She didn't want me either." Across the room, Alice looked down. I tried so hard to fix my tone, knowing it probably bothered them to hear me this bitter. I took a breath, "What'd you do?"

"I.. It really doesn't matter." He sighed, "What matters is that I've loved you your entire life. Can't you remember _any_thing at all?"

"No." I shook my head, "The only one I remember ever being there is Jack. I don't remember you at all."

That was a lie. There were faint bits, things I swore were just a dream until today. I used to think the things I did remember were bits of wishful thinking that had come to me in my endless hours alone, but I knew better now.

He looked down, probably sad about that, but I wouldn't try to ease him.

"And it does matter." I muttered. The entire time I'd known him before, I never asked him why he had to leave me. What had he done so bad that he wasn't allowed to see me? "What did you do?"

He took a breath, "From the start, I didn't like Jack. The moment I met him, I knew something was off about him." I waited, listening close as he continued, "When I found out your mom had moved him in with you, I was.. Pretty upset. All I wanted was to give her time to see that he wasn't who he said he was. Without letting you wander in the way of that.

"She was old enough to make her own choices. I knew that, but I didn't want you to face the consequences of those choices right along with her. So, essentially, I kidnapped you."

I blinked in surprise. That was news to me, which I really hadn't expected to happen.

"You were two." He continued, "Well, two and a half. I had an opportunity to take you from her, and I just.. Wasn't thinking about later. I just wanted to get you as far away from him as possible. Your mom wasn't listening, too wrapped up in revenge against me for doing what I'd done, and was punishing me through you." He paused, "But I won't get into that right now."

"So.." I mumbled, "You did try."

"I tried." He confirmed with a nod, "I kept you for about three days. When I didn't bring you back on time, your mom caught on, and well.. It didn't take long to find me. I wasn't trying to run. I was trying to keep you safe, but all anybody ever saw was me taking you from your mother." He paused for another deep breath, "But, in the end, that's what cost me you. Without Gina's say-so, I wasn't allowed to see you. I sent letters, cards. Most were returned, some probably thrown away."

I looked down. It was my turn to feel bad.

"If I had shown up before she told me I could, it'd have been jail time." He continued, softer now, "And with a family to take care of, I couldn't do that to them. A few times, believe me, I was tempted. I knew something was wrong."

"Why don't I remember that?"

"Something must have happened." He reasoned, "Bad enough to make you forget most of that time. I wouldn't doubt it, with what's-his-face raising you, but I swear, I was there. For as long as I could be, I was there."

Alice did have a point earlier. There was a lot to this I didn't know before. Things I didn't understand. It confused me, like I couldn't understand it. Would my mom really use me to get back at him? I didn't know. For as long as I could remember, I'd never heard her talk about my dad. It was always Jack telling me how much he never wanted me.

"But I'm seeing now." He murmured when I stayed quiet, "Had I come back to find you, it'd have been jail time anyway." I understood what he wasn't saying. Yet, after confessing all this, he still blamed himself?

"But you didn't."

"Stupidly," He replied, "I forced myself to believe that you'd be better off without that kind of thing in your life. You were too young to understand why I had to leave you, and as the years passed by, I couldn't make myself go back and start all that up again. I forced myself to believe that you were okay. I had no other choice."

"He told me you didn't want me." I hated admitting that.

"God, no." His expression fell, his tone softening in sadness, "I'd have given anything to have you with me. To know for sure that you were safe."

No matter how bad I wanted to fix it for him, I had to think about what I wanted. I didn't want to risk going anywhere with him. Not knowing what had happened last time. This time, I wanted to stay right where I was. He was my father, but understanding his side of things didn't change my mind about where I wanted to be.

I shook my head.

"Let me fix it." He plead with me now? "Let me fix it."

"Why should I?" I asked quietly, "What do I owe you?"

"Not a thing." He replied, "You don't owe me anything. I know that, but.. I.. Well, I know you'll be happy with me. Not stuck with strangers."

"You're more of a stranger to me than they are." Which was true. I crossed my arms, turning to slowly pace away, "I like it here."

He stayed quiet for a moment, probably watching me. Nobody said anything now, despite how full the room was. I found myself at Alice's side, which was right where I wanted to be.

"You're comfortable here?" My dad asked, taking my attention again. I turned to face him again. By his tone, I knew he was swayed.

"More than I've ever been." My voice hardly made a sound.

"I'll make you a deal." He said, which caught my attention, "I'll.. Let you stay here, if that's what you really want."

"More than anything." I admitted to him.

"All that I ask, is that you let me stay in your life." He added, "As much as I can be."

"That's it?" I asked, "That's all you ask?"

"That's all." He confirmed, "Leandra, baby, I just want you to be happy. I owe you that much, at least. If here is where you're happiest, then I won't try to take that from you, okay?" I didn't know what to say to that, "If they're willing to keep you, I'll let them."

"Of course we are." Esme offered from the side, and he glanced to her with a slight nod. He looked to me again.

"I knew coming here would be tricky." He sighed, "I knew coming here, that there was a good chance that something like this would happen. I knew it'd be difficult, but I think after everything, you should be allowed to choose where you stay. I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I'd be here for you. Now that I'm allowed to, I can be here for you."

"Thank you." I appreciated that more than he knew.

"I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do." He told me, "And that includes leaving here. You want to stay here, so here is where you'll stay." I took a deep breath, calming myself down. I didn't have to be so tense anymore now that he'd told me that. I nodded a little.

"Can I ask one more thing?" He asked, and I waited, "Can I hug you?" He threw in a sad laugh at that request, and I didn't exactly see too much harm in it, so I hesitantly moved forward. My dad or not, familiar or not, I was still wary.

I made it to him, and he wasted no time in pulling me into his arms and hugging me gently. I grew nervous as he added more pressure against my back.

"Be careful." I requested, and he settled for the pressure he had. It did take me a moment, but I eventually returned it. Wrapping my arms around his neck. I ignored the fact that I knew he was crying, but definitely noted it, because I was too.

Now that I knew he never really intended to take me, I could let myself calm down, and appreciate the moment for what it was. I was sure he counted on that.

He let me pull back, just enough to look closer at him. Briefly, he reached up and gently cleared a tear from my cheek.

"You're so big." He chuckled sadly, holding my hands in his, "I can't get over it." All I'd heard so far was how small I was. This was a pretty welcome change. I couldn't resist hugging him again.

"I'd have given anything to be there, Leandra." He murmured, returning my hug. I couldn't hide the way that hurt even more. Squeezing my eyes shut as my tears fell faster. He had no idea what I'd have given for him to have been there too. The hurt didn't go away just because he was there now.

"I know." He assured me. He must have felt the same way. With a quiet sigh, he stood up, lifting me with him. It was probably uncomfortable kneeling that long.

Each quiet sob I gave shook me, which didn't even seem to bother him. I couldn't stop them any more than I could stop breathing. It was just something that needed to happen. To know he tried for me, it changed quite a bit of the resentment and bitterness I felt toward him, but it didn't change where I knew I wanted to be.

I had to remember that I was staying here for his safety as much as my happiness.

Once again, nobody said anything. Nobody tried talking me into going with him anyway, as I was sure they knew where I was right then. I did want to stay there, but I couldn't deny that I was glad my dad would stay in my life. I could get to know him. I could be safe here while he got to know me.

I sat back in his arms again, looking at him. Just to look at him like I'd wanted to my entire life.

"I will be here." He told me, sincerity in each word, "No matter what. If you change your mind, I'll be here."

"I don't think I will." I warned quietly.

"Then that's your choice, but either way, I'll be here." He replied, "I'm not messing up this opportunity by making you do anything you don't want to do. I'll fill out whatever forms I need to fill out, and I'll sign whatever I need to sign if it means you can stay where you want to stay."

"Why?" I asked, unable to help it.

"Well, you're old enough to know where you want to be." He explained, "You don't know me, and I have a feeling I'll need a chance to figure out who you are if you're ever going to give me a real chance. I won't pretend to know who you are when I've been gone for so long. That wouldn't be the brightest way to go about this." I shook my head, agreeing with him, "You seem to have made yourself a place here, and that's okay. I'm not here to take that from you or destroy that. This way, there's no pressure to make it work."

I nodded a little, understanding that more than I was sure he knew.

"I hate her." I sniffled, and I knew he heard the hatred in my voice. He understood immediately who I was talking about.

"I'm sure she thought she was doing the right thing." He replied, shaking his head, "At the time, I'm sure of it. She loved you just as much as I did, and the thought of losing you was too much for her."

"I don't buy it." I mumbled, "She never wanted me."

"She did want you." He corrected instantly, "She did. She loved you more than I can even begin to describe."

"Then why'd she leave me?" I asked.

"I can't answer that." He sighed, "I don't know what happened, or what went wrong, but I can tell you this." He hesitated, pausing, "Gina.. She was someone amazing. She fought for what she wanted, and you were no different."

"Right." I sighed, looking down.

"Believe me." He murmured.

"I'd remember that." I argued, "She never tried. Not once."

"You might have been too young." He repeated, "A lot happens before you're old enough to remember it, baby. You don't remember me, and I was there until you were almost three." He had a point, but I didn't want to admit that.

"Everything that went wrong was my fault." He told me, "If I hadn't done what I did, if I wasn't so stupid, things would have turned out a lot different."

"Don't say that." I muttered, looking down.

"It's true." He replied, "I'm not trying to blame anyone else, though I'm pretty positive Jack had a whole lot to do with how wrong things went, but I played my part too. I'm not innocent in all this, but.." He adjusted me, holding me in one arm while the other smoothed my cheek, "You are. Things were.. Complicated back then, and I don't know how to explain everything to you in a way you'd understand, but no matter what happened, you are never allowed to blame yourself."

How did he know what to say? The warmth of his hand felt different to me, but nice. However nice it felt, it didn't take away from the firmness of what he was telling me.

"Okay?" He murmured, "I might not understand completely yet just what he put you through, but that doesn't matter. You were never supposed to be there." I sniffled quietly to myself, keeping my eyes down, "It's not your fault, Leandra. Never once was it your fault. Your mother and I.. I made some choices that I'm not proud of, and I'm sure she feels the same way.

"She loved you, Leandra. She did. I can tell you that for sure. I don't know where she is, and I doubt she'd contact me at all after all these years, but I can tell you that she loved you _so_ much."

I knew he had to be looking at the left-over bruise across my cheek. It had faded quite a bit in the last few days, but not enough to not be noticeable. He never commented on it, though, which I was grateful for.

"Is this okay?" He bounced me a little in his arm, and I knew he meant holding me.

"It's okay." I nodded a little, and he smiled, "I'm getting used to it."

"I'm glad you're not too big to be held." He told me, "But I'd have still picked you up." I smiled slightly at his tone. It was funny.

"How are you feeling, Leandra?" Carlisle asked quietly in the slight silence that followed. I took a breath, assessing myself. He probably meant physically, since Jasper could tell all I felt emotionally.

"I'm okay for now." I answered, looking to him.

"Is it bad?" My dad asked, and I hesitated, looking down again. I didn't want to admit to him how bad it really was.

"It was among one of the worst cases I'd ever seen." Carlisle answered for me.

"It's gotten a little better." I offered, hoping that made it easier. For some reason, I didn't want him to feel too bad. Now that I knew it wasn't his fault.

"That bad, huh?" That helped. He wasn't mad, but I knew that didn't help ease him. He was still curious and worried. I'd have to show him for him to get it. I wasn't sure about doing that just yet. Even if he did have a right to know.

"It.." Alice tried, "It's still pretty bad. We're just helping her through the healing phase now." He nodded to her, appreciative.

"But she'll be okay, right?"

"She'll be alright." Carlisle replied, "As far as I can tell, there is no lasting damage." My dad winced a little at that word, as I did too. There was a heavy pause.

"Can you show me?" He finally asked me, and I bit my lip.

"Don't get mad?" It was a request.

"Why would I get mad?" He asked, and I took a breath. Carefully falling to my feet, he released me. I looked up at him briefly before turning my back to him. Raising my shirt carefully over my back, I could tell the second he clearly saw it. I heard as he kneeled behind me, his knees quietly hitting the carpet.

I stood there, my eyes down as he got his look. I knew the shame I felt was the reason he told me not to blame myself, but it would take more than that to fix it.

"Good God." He finally gasped, and I closed my eyes at the pain in his tone. I hadn't even considered him finding pain at the sight. I was more concerned at him finding anger, but the pain was something I hadn't expected.

"Jack did this?"

"All of it." I sighed, "But that's nothing new." I turned to face him, surprised at the tears I found in his eyes. Once again, I hadn't been expecting the way seeing those tears would make me feel. It bothered me that he felt pain. I held my shirt over my stomach now, balled at the bottom in my hand. Over my stomach was the same bruising, maybe a little less intense because I could protect that spot better than my back. He got the idea, though. It was everywhere.

"It's gotten better." I offered, "It doesn't hurt as much anymore." A lie, but if it helped him, I'd feel better. I finally allowed my shirt to fall, and he moved his gaze to meet mine.

I whimpered in surprise as he suddenly hugged me again. Carefully, of course, keeping most of the pressure gentle around my back, but it was meaningful.

"I'll kill him." He grumbled, and I immediately shook my head. He meant it.

"Don't." I murmured, pulling back again, "Don't even say that. You said you wouldn't get mad."

"I'm not mad at you." He assured me, "But-"

"I meant don't get mad at all." I muttered, "I guess I should have mentioned that part."

"How can I not get mad?" He asked, "Leandra, I don't think you understand." He was right about that, at least. Puzzled, I frowned a little. What wasn't I understanding?

"You're my baby girl. That means that I love you more than my own life. More than anything, no matter what. Distance couldn't change that. I could have been on the moon, and I would have still loved you this much. To find out anyone hurt you like that, well.. It changes the rules a little bit."

If he really cared about me this much, then what exactly happened to make him leave me? He had no choice in that, I knew that much, but how did it get this way? I wanted to know.

"What happened?" I had to ask. I needed to know, "With mom?"

He hesitated, looking down for a moment.

"I was young back then." He sighed, "And pretty stupid. Taking you wasn't my first mistake."

"What happened?" I asked again. That didn't answer my question.

"Leandra." Esme spoke up, and I looked to her, "Maybe that question should be saved for another time."

"No." My dad murmured, "She does deserve to know. It's okay." He sighed again, standing up. He sat down on the couch as I leaned against the armrest beside him, watching his expression carefully.

"Your mom and I were married for about five years." He finally told me, "Give or take. Not very long." I nodded a little, "You came along about year three, and as much as we both loved you, there was only so much you could do to hold us together."

That made sense.

"You were about the only thing we had in common anymore." He continued, "Neither of us were happy where we were, so I took the steps needed to change things." I looked down. So he was the one to leave her? I was confused.

"I never, ever imagined she'd bring Jack into your lives so quickly." He added. I suddenly really wished I could somehow go back and see exactly where it went wrong. Just so I could somehow see whose fault it really was, but I immediately pushed that thought aside.

"And she wanted to get back at you for that?" I asked, "For whatever you did?"

"In a sense," He allowed, "I can't blame her. What I did probably wasn't the best way to go about things, but it was effective enough. Your mom didn't see it that way."

"Oh." I mumbled. I didn't know exactly what he meant by that. I had a feeling that was as much of an explanation as I was going to get, but I found I'd bloomed more questions than I'd gotten answers for.

I hesitated, "And Jack?" How the fuck did all that happen? If my dad was the one to leave my mom, like I assumed, how did Jack really get mixed up in all that?

"Jack.." He sighed, "Is a very sore subject for me. Even more so now. I know where I went wrong, but that doesn't fix anything now."

I waited, not quite understanding. Seeing that, he sighed.

"I worked a lot back then." He explained, "But I didn't work on what I should have worked on, and that was you and your mom. He found an open spot where I should have been." Well, that did explain it. He continued, "Now, that's not to say that your mom wasn't smart about it. I know now that if I hadn't done what I'd done, she never would have made him someone permanent. She cared about you too much."

Smart about it? How the hell could she have been?

"Heather says he met mom at a park." I prompted.

"Now, there's a name I haven't heard in awhile." He seemed amused, chuckling a little. Oddly, it surprised me that he actually did know her. He nodded a little, "Yeah. That's where they met the first time. I guess after that, they just kept seeing each other." I nodded this time, "I can almost guarantee you, though, that he had her under piles of false impressions. That's the only explanation. There's no way he could have gotten passed her otherwise."

This wasn't making any sense to me. Seeing my confusion, he smiled sadly.

"Your mom wasn't stupid." He admitted to me, "She was confused, and probably worried. I haven't spoken to her since the last time I saw you, and everything I've heard about her.. Well, it confuses me too, kid. It definitely does not sound like the Gina I knew."

I didn't know what to say to that. He might have known my mother to be capable of being someone different, but I sure didn't. She was the only mother I knew.

"You still know Heather?" He asked me, I accepted this subject change gratefully.

"Not until recently." I mumbled, "Long story there."

"Hey, I told you mine." He reasoned, and I smiled again, "Come on." He gently pinched my side, and I laughed a little, stepping away from his tickling. I didn't even know I was ticklish there. I wasn't used to being tickled at all.

"I met her in California." I admitted, and he seemed surprised.

"Why there?" He asked.

"Jack took me there." I replied, "I met the boys there too."

"Zack and Josh." He chuckled and I nodded, smiling a little as well, "She ever have any more?"

"Nope." I said, "Just them."

"I'm surprised she never had any more." He mused, "She loves kids so much. How are they?"

"They still live here." I told him, "She probably doesn't like you much, though."

"No doubt." He chuckled, "She's probably just as lost about everything as you were." He paused, "If they still live here, how did you meet them in California?"

My slight smile faded.

"Another long story." I mumbled, looking down. I really didn't want to get into that. I really didn't need that reminder right then.

"I mean, I know Jack is her brother, but why all the way over there?" He seemed honestly confused.

"Jack's father lives there." Esme offered, and that explained more than I could at the moment.

"Oh, that's comforting." My dad seemed to understand. Enough to get why I didn't want to talk about it much, "I'm going to assume that he's not that great of a person."

"You'd be right." I mumbled, and he sighed.

"Well," He murmured, "At least you got to meet Heather. She's a good person. I know that much." That helped, too.

"Yeah." I agreed with him, "She is."

"She was quite smitten with you." He chuckled, "It always made her day the way you'd boss her boys around before you could talk." I laughed a little again, just picturing that. It couldn't have been more different now. If anything, they could boss me around.

"It's not like that now." I sighed, shaking my head a little.

"You'll get it back." He assured me.

"Leandra?" Alice spoke up, and I looked back at her, "A word?" For a moment there, I'd almost forgotten about how crowded the room still was.

I hesitated, looking to my dad again. He realized what I was doing, "Yeah, go for it. I'll be here." I nodded a little before turning. I followed Alice from the room, off toward the kitchen, and to my surprise, Jasper followed both of us.

I faced Alice, a little confused. Had I been asking too many questions again? That was something I hadn't gotten into trouble for in awhile. She sighed, glancing to Jasper briefly before turning her eyes back to me.

"Leandra," She started again, "Are you _sure_ this is what you want? Staying here, I mean."

"I'm sure." I replied, still confused, "I want to stay here."

"Maybe it'd be good for you for you to go with him." She reasoned, and I frowned, so she continued, "All I'm saying, is to think carefully. Maybe you should. Just give it a try, you know?"

"He's sincere, Leandra." Jasper added quietly, "He means everything he tells you."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I'll be okay if he takes me." I muttered, "I want to stay here."

"Are you sure?" Alice asked again, "I mean, one hundred percent positive? Because I really think you should reconsider. You'd still have us."

"I'm sure." I repeated, "He doesn't know me like you guys do. I'd probably screw everything up for him and his family, and I don't want to do that."

"Leandra, you are his family." Alice reminded me.

"I.." I sighed, "Not as much as they are. Yeah, I get along with him, but that's because I'm here. Everything would change if he took me. I know it."

She hesitated, looking to Jasper again.

"Alright." She murmured, "If you're sure." I nodded a little, and she sighed. Placing her arm around my shoulders.

The rest of the visit went about the same way. I was actually surprised I could be anywhere near him without wanting to hurt him, but I was sure finally understanding his reason helped that a lot.

He didn't pressure me to go with him, not even bringing it up again. I'd given him my opinion and he was listening to it. I learned things about him I hadn't learned in the vision. He was a calm person, very easy to like.

But the time I spent with him never got easier. It bothered me in a way I couldn't describe. It hurt me, like an echoing ache of the way I felt my entire life. Seeing him now was so hard, because I could easily remember how often I'd think about and wish for this moment.

I'd needed him, and despite the way I knew now that it wasn't his fault that he wasn't there, I worried I'd never get over it. It was hard to move passed it. Anything that happened now wouldn't fix that.

I knew I was making the right choice, because if I ever had too much of the hurt, I'd turn around and take it out on him.

When he finally did have to leave, once more, I wasn't sure how to feel. The room had mostly cleared, giving me a moment mostly alone with him. I was grateful for that, because I was probably going to cry again, and I could do without everyone seeing that.

I looked up at him, watching closely as he kneeled in front of me.

"I have to admit," He said, "Leaving you now isn't much easier than it was years ago."

"Maybe because I know what it means now." I mumbled, and he smiled sadly.

"You've grown.. _So_ much, baby girl." He held my hands in his, "More beautiful than I ever imagined." He hugged me again, "I'll see you again soon. I promise I'll visit you as soon as I can."

He lived so far away. I didn't know if I believed him, so I had to make this hug last as long as it could. I hugged him tighter.

"You're the strongest person I've ever known, honey." He told me, "Never lose that."

"No promises." Just as I thought, my emotion was announced by my tone. The tears making my voice heavy as a tear escaped down my cheek. Why did it bother me so much? Why did seeing him at all make cry so much?

I stood there on the porch, Esme beside me, watching him leave. I leaned against her side as she offered the embrace, and that helped a little, but not much. I could say that leaving me behind didn't bother him in the least, with how little he showed it, but I knew better. Somehow, I knew. It did bother him.

I had to turn before she did. Heading back into the house. As grateful as I was to be able to stay here, probably because of all I knew about them, it was still hard to watch him leave.

"You did great, Leandra." Jasper offered, and that did help. I nodded a little.

"It helped when he said he'd let me stay." I sighed, sitting down.

"He saw here was where you were comfortable." He explained, "He didn't want to take that from you by making you leave with him. No matter how much it bothered him to leave you."

"Now I know why I hate my mom so much." I shrugged, "So that's a good thing, I guess."

"You know one side." He reminded me, "You don't know her side. You don't know what made her decide to do what she did."

"I don't care." I muttered, looking down at my hands, "He might not blame her, but I do. If it weren't for her, nothing would have happened to me. I hate her."

"I wouldn't assume, Leandra." Alice murmured, and I shrugged.

Needless to say, I was restless that night. I couldn't shut my mind up long enough to sleep, despite how busy of a day I'd had.

It had been emotional, but very productive. I almost couldn't believe I'd gotten through it, or that much stuff had managed to fit in one day. The conversation with Carlisle was one of the bigger things, which I was glad I got through. I did feel much better about that.

I didn't quite have everything the way it used to be, but I still had time for that. I had lots of time, and for now, I could live with the way things were. I wasn't scared anymore, and I could settle down now. Now that I understood, and remembered all the things I needed to remember, I could ease myself into being here.

It also helped that they seemed serious about keeping me. I couldn't help believing that it was about more than just what I remembered. I just knew that somehow, it was about more than my ability. This was just the start, and I made myself agree that no matter what, I had to remember this.

This feeling, this contentment I felt. No matter what came next, I had to remember this.

With a sigh, I rolled over to my other side. Staring at the bar of dim light coming from under my door. I knew what I remembered, but I was still trying to understand everything about what I remembered was supposed to mean.

It seemed to me like, because of what I finally remembered, I'd lived too long compared to where I was. It wasn't exactly tiring, because I was wide awake, but it was an exhaustion I felt in my mind.

After an hour more passed, and I wasn't any closer to falling asleep, I sat myself up. Maybe it was the fact that I now knew nobody else slept? Some psychosomatic reaction caused by the knowledge that everyone else in the house was awake, making it impossible for me to sleep either?

Whatever the case was, I wasn't going to sleep, so I scooted off the bed, and left the room. I blinked a few times in the brightness of even the dim hallway light, giving a look around myself.

"What are you doing up, shorty?" Emmett had spotted me, and looking over, I realized he and Jasper were the only ones in the living room. Normally, I would have turned right around and gone back into my room, but now, I was pretty comfortable with joining them.

"Couldn't sleep." I mumbled, heading into the living room. My bare feet not making a sound on the soft carpet before I scooted up onto the free spot on the couch.

"You okay?" He asked, and I sighed. Shrugging a little.

"I think too much." I admitted.

"Well, it was a pretty busy day for you." Emmett reasoned, his eyes back on the TV, "Sleeping could have gone either way. Either you can't sleep at all, or you pass out."

"My mind's too busy to sleep." I muttered, "So I came out here."

"Thinking about your dad?" Emmett asked, and I sighed again.

"Now I am." I looked down, staring at my feet.

"What's bothering you about it?" Jasper asked, speaking up for the first time.

"Everything, I think." I admitted, "No matter how hard I try, I can't figure out why my mom would do that. It wasn't fair. To him, or to me." I leaned back carefully, "I hope I never see her again."

"And your dad?" Emmett asked, "Didn't you say the same thing about him?"

"That's different." I shook my head, "I didn't know-"

"Exactly." Jasper murmured, "You didn't know. You still don't know your mother's reasons." I didn't bother arguing with that. Pursing my lips a little, looking to the TV instead.

"It's one thing to be angry with your mother." Jasper continued, "Just don't assume."

I shrugged as an answer.

The truth was, I didn't care. I didn't care what her reasons were. I didn't care about why she did what she did. I just didn't. I'd put up with enough of her for the last several years, my earliest memories being of the chore of taking care of her, and I found it hard now to care.

All that mattered to me was the fact that by doing what she'd done, forcing my dad to stay away from me, she'd essentially ruined my life. Knowing that could only make it harder to care.

I wasn't sure how to go about explaining that, so I glanced over at Jasper, letting my expression answer for me. His expression softened in response to seeing mine, so I knew he understood.

He knew to drop it. He knew I was no longer up to discussing it. My emotions probably had a lot to do with that, but either way, I was grateful.

"With any luck, she won't have to see her again." Emmett muttered, and that caught my attention.

"Emmett." Jasper corrected him, which seemed weird to me. It was just a comment, and I would have only thought of it as such had Jasper not had to correct him.

"What do you mean?" I asked, sensing that Emmett had meant more than he was letting on.

"Your mom's with him." He answered, and the way he said that, I realized quickly what he meant.

"With Jack?" I had to confirm, and he nodded a little, "How do you know?"

"You inherited your ability from your mother." Jasper explained instead, and I looked over at him, "We know this, because it became quite a bit harder for Alice to see Jack's decisions when he picked up your mother."

"Oh." I mumbled, "Well, he can have her." That bothered me. I wasn't quite sure why, but it bothered me.

"Alice has seen him." Jasper murmured, "But never any specific location yet. So far, he's gone straight east. Sooner or later, though, she'll see."

It was silent for a moment, before I started to catch on.

"That means," I murmured, without looking away from the TV, "With my mom with them, it'll be hard for Alice to see when he changes his mind, and comes back to find me."

"Not a chance." Emmett muttered, "We won't need a heads up to keep him away from you, shorty." I hesitated a second, before looking over at him.

"And what if it's not enough?" I asked, "He's not stupid."

"Trust me." He replied, "He's not getting anywhere near you."

I didn't know how to keep arguing. Emmett seemed so sure, but so was I. Jack might not know where I was yet, but he'd fix that soon. Or maybe he already did know, and just chose not to hunt me down yet. Maybe he was just biding his time, letting it really sink in for awhile.

I just knew that sometime soon, they would find out just how serious Jack was. They couldn't say that I never warned them, because I did. Several times. I wouldn't keep wasting my breath, but I had to admit. I did want to believe Emmett. I wanted to, and I honestly tried, but part of me wouldn't calm down.

Either way, though, I had no choice but to trust him. It was either that, or lose my mind worrying about it. He seemed confident, so I took that as a sign that he had something of an idea about what they were up against.

I was back in bed not long later, determined now to sleep, and I did manage to for a little while, but I would have taken never sleeping again if it meant I wouldn't have woken up the way I did.

I was no stranger to nightmares. My life was full of them, and a lot of the time, I did cry but tonight's seemed a lot worse than anything I'd ever had before. Even with the way I couldn't remember it. My reaction was enough to tell that.

The tears I cried were heavy, nearly suffocating, and I didn't even know why. My breathing raced, panic stealing it. Shaking, terrified where I'd bolted upright in my bed, and it wasn't getting any easier. My throat had closed on itself, making breathing at all impossible, which only made my tears heavier.

I wasn't sitting there alone long, thankfully. Esme had heard me, and had come in. I was too focused on suffocating to give her much of my attention, though. I needed a breath, but it wasn't happening.

This was scary as hell, and I didn't know the first thing to do to help myself.

"Jasper." I did note the worry in Esme's voice beside me, only because it worried me even more.

Almost immediately, my panic eased. It took several more terrifying seconds before I could manage a tiny, audible breath in. Only to sob it out in a desperately confused sort of heartbreak I wasn't expecting to feel. The panic had covered it.

I was lifted a little just as I took another, deeper breath and was settled on Esme's lap. I shook hard, and though her temperature did help mine, it was that that told me I'd broken out into a cold sweat.

I could cry openly now, and though my panic had eased, the tears needed to stay heavy. Esme was talking to me, but I couldn't focus yet. Not yet.

I realized then that I'd had my eyes shut tight the entire time, blinking them open enough to look up at Esme briefly. I wanted her to know that I was grateful for her holding me this way, but I still couldn't speak yet.

Soon enough, though, my sobs slowed too. As they slowed, it got easier to pay more attention to those around me. We weren't the only ones in the room, it seemed, as practically everyone had come to see what the hell was wrong with me.

"Leandra," Jasper took my attention, "What were you dreaming about?"

I didn't want to try speaking yet, so I just shook my head. I didn't have any more of a clue than he had.

"You don't remember?" He asked, and I shook my head again.

"It had to have been something pretty hefty." Emmett muttered.

His observation hadn't been wrong. I knew that much too, as my trembles continued. Nowhere near the degree they had been when I first woke up, but they still came.

I knew it hadn't been a normal nightmare. One, I'd remember it, and two, my reaction wouldn't have been as strong as it was. I knew it wasn't me freaking myself out with the conversation we'd had before bed. That wasn't it.

I just didn't know how to explain that.

It took me a few minutes, sitting there and continuing to calm down, before my panicked thoughts finally slowed their spinning enough for me to make sense of what they were telling me. Focusing enough to realize who the center of my terrified thoughts was. It could only mean one thing.

"He's with them." The words shook quietly with me.

"Who?" Jasper asked.

"Ken." I answered, "He's with them. Jack and my mom."

"She's right." I hadn't really noticed Alice there before, but even she sounded surprised. Hell, I was even surprised that I was right.

"You never mentioned it to anyone?" Jasper asked her.

"I didn't think it was relevant." She replied, "At least not enough to bring up."

So what did this tell me? It could have been residual fear of who Ken was to me, or what I remembered feeling around him, but it was more than that. I could see it. I knew enough to know that Jack wouldn't be found unless he wanted to be found. The way he thought, the precautions he took, Alice's gift wouldn't be enough to get him caught.

He was going east. What was east that he needed to get to?

I attempted to ease myself with thoughts that he was heading east. Away from me for now, so that was a good thing. Now, knowing Ken was with them, I could calm down. Hopefully, Alice would be able to see when he changed directions.

But the others weren't eased.

"If she had a dream," Emmett muttered, looking to Alice, "And it scared her that bad, what did she see that you haven't yet?"

I couldn't answer that, because I didn't know. I looked down, unable to do much else.

With Jasper there, it was impossible to stay worried. I knew he had everything to do with that, otherwise I would still be freaking out. About the third deep breath I took, I started to feel a little better, but I knew better. I had every reason to be worried.

"I think you should try to sleep." Esme told me, and I immediately shook my head. Was she forgetting what happened the last time I slept? How I woke up just moments ago?

I hadn't asked for this gift, or ability, or whatever it was, but I wasn't so fond of it tonight. Whatever it was I had dreamed about made me uneasy. Insecure again, right when I'd started to warm up, despite Jasper's efforts.

The worst part of it all had to be the fact that nobody could help me with it. I was on my own when it came to figuring out what it was. Jasper could help my emotions, and Alice could give me tips, but that was as far as their assistance went. It was up to me to figure it out, and I wasn't even sure I could.

One thing was for sure, though. I was glad I was here, and not off somewhere with my dad. That thought cleared all the rest as I realized.

"I chose right again." I mumbled to the room. Somehow, this confession wasn't a good one to me.

Had I been anywhere near my dad when I woke up like that, he'd probably be just as panicked, and it wouldn't have gone as somewhat smoothly as it did. Who knows what would have happened from there?

Looking to Alice, Jasper beside her, they understood. I was different, and I had to keep that in mind whenever I decided on anything anymore. I was beginning to understand that myself.

I didn't sleep that night. I did try, but something kept my thoughts spinning on their own. I tried the trick of refusing to try to stop them, to just let them go where they wanted to go, but it didn't work this time.

I could feel it. I knew that until I got a hold of this, things would only get harder on me. Things would always get worse before they got better. That was how it worked my entire life, and now was no different.

As for the entire situation with Jack still out there, I didn't know what to think regarding that. With Alice's help, I knew enough to know that he had joined his father, and he had found my mother. How he'd found her, I didn't know, but it only proved how good he was at finding people.

That was what had bothered me about learning that little bit of information. That's what bothered me about learning he'd found her. What I didn't understand before.

It was only a matter of time before he found me too. All I could do until then was hope that Alice could tell when he was coming for me.

All I could do until he came for me was worry.

**END**

**A/N: This chapter was very tough. I can't even specifically say which part was the hardest.  
>I apologize for the extended wait. I lost many night's sleep working on this, but it's finally here. :D<br>THANK YOU! To those AMAZING reviewers who left me your thoughts about last chapter! I can't even tell you how much it helps reading everything left for me. :)  
>As for next story, I have quite a few ideas about where to start off, and I'll be working on that right after this one, so you should see that one sometime soon. I have a feeling there will be quite a few 'extended scenes' and changes in that one, as I'm already seeing a change in her this time around. I'm kind of looking forward to seeing exactly how much her reactions have changed.<br>Until One, my friends! :D**


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